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Daydreamers Create Tomorrow…

“Your Soul’s Invitation” is a fictional journey where people around the world awaken to the Daydreamer that lives inside. They are reminded by a chance encounter with a magazine – Click Here to continue on the adventure or begin the quest.

To dream is to believe that we are not limited by our present day reality…

I am curious, when was the last time you allowed yourself to DREAM? To feel, yes, I mean literally FEEL into what brings you joy?

Do you recall a time in your life when you heard someone say, “Get real!” or “Stop dreaming,” or “Would you get serious, that’s not possible,” or???

As a child did you like to daydream? To let your mind and heart wander? To imagine what you might experience, see, do?? Do you still allow yourself this playful exploration? Or did you allow the naysayers, the reality preachers and the nonbelievers to shut you down?

I cannot imagine our world without the Daydreamers, for they are the ones who created and continue to create our tomorrows. They envision what can be and move towards it without question. This takes great courage, faith and perseverance in a world of judges and critics who live from a place of stuck realism.

Let’s really explore this, where would we be today if these Dreamers did not or had not existed –

  • Thomas Edison
  • Wright Brothers
  • Marie Sklodowska Curie
  • Rosa Parks
  • Martin Luther King
  • Alexander Graham Bell
  • Henry Ford
  • Ada Lovelace (check this one out…)
  • Emmeline Pankhurst
  • Leonardo da Vinci
  • Nikola Tesla
  • Steve Jobs
  • Gandhi
  • Abraham Lincoln
  • Albert Einstein
  • Socrates, Plato
  • Nelson Mandela
  • ETC…..

Thankfully this list goes on and on.., for to dream and believe is to live a vibrant, dynamic, passionate life, engaged in what is, while holding tight to the kite of tomorrow’s potential.

It is interesting to imagine our world without those who bring their dreams to life. Those strong enough to “walk their talk” without question or doubt. Along the way they often fall down or fail as we like to label it, yet, they get up and persevere.

Thomas Edison, one of many great inventors, role modeled incredible perseverance and complete belief…

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.

Thomas Edison

Often in my daily world I am surrounded by the realist, the one who sees what is, gets stuck there and is not able to imagine what might be. I have learned to not bring them into my intimate friend circle, for they are the first to criticize my dreams, to roll their eyes or shake their heads at my “fantasy world” or “crazy pipe dreams.” These same people enjoy turning on a light switch, utilizing a car to get places, flying in a plane to visit a new corner of the world, use a computer/phone to communicate with friends and family around the world, hmmmm…, I wonder where they think these things came from?

We love the line from Martin Luther King Jr., “I have a dream…” He envisioned a world of equality, as did Nelson Mandela, Gandhi and…

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

There is nothing more tragic than to find an individual bogged down in the length of life, devoid of breadth.

Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.

Martin Luther King Jr.

Live life as though nobody is watching, and express yourself as though everyone is listening.

Everyone can rise above their circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do.

A winner is a dreamer who never gives up.

Nelson Mandela

I reflect back at how often along my life path I have been told to “get real,” “get my head out of the clouds,” “it’s nice to dream Fawn, but, how can you ever create that…” Most of these people are well intentioned, they want what is “best” for me. I have learned to selectively share my dreams and visions for the future, holding them preciously in my heart, soul and mind’s infinite space. I prefer to keep the company of Dreamers, those who inspire and remind me that anything is possible.

Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.

The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious.

Although I am a typical loner in daily life, my consciousness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has preserved me from feeling isolated.

Albert Einstein

Like Einstein I am a typical loner in my daily life. While I am factually surrounded by colleagues, customers, friends and family, I wander within my own passionate dream bubble, a space that is energized by the “invisible community.” It is an interesting space to hold. Being completely present while maintaining the vibrational energy of that which I believe is possible. In the wee hours of my quiet morning, weekends, or evening time I step towards my Daydreams. They are becoming. Yes, you cannot see them yet in this time and space, however, they are energetically manifesting. My joyous faith knows and feels them.

As humans we are driven by a desire to feel. To experience the sensation of joy, love, peace, acceptance, contentment, happiness… All we crave we cannot see or touch. Daydreaming fuels within me such expansive joy, love, excitement and eager anticipation while it breathes contentment into my present moments. To no longer dream is to die for me, to live a life of going through the motions, to hit the repeat button eternally.

I tell my children that anything is possible. I encourage them to dream and follow their passions. Sadly the “reality” teachers along their life path have put holes in their Daydreamer kites. The glorious news for them and all of us, is that kites can be mended to fly again.

Thank you Daydreamers for always being curious, for imagining what can be, for stepping forth in the crowd of naysayers to fly your kite…

If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it.

William Arthur Ward
Your dream space is for you to fill, to passionately create, curiously explore and infinitely expand…

I am sincerely enjoying the journey with the characters of “Your Soul’s Invitation”, for they are remembering to dream, thanks to an unexpected magazines. Click HERE to read the latest or begin the journey.

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Living A Spirited Coexistence…

If you have been following along with authentic journey of Rita, Ken, Francine and Doug, click HERE to continue or start this adventure.

Stepping into the unknown can feel exciting or fearful, which do you choose..? And who taught you to feel this way..?

Over the years I have gradually learned how to hear and feel my spirit or muse as I sometimes refer. Occasionally I do not understand how the image or feeling I experience can possibly come into manifested form. However, I let go with joyful trust, allowing the how, when or where, to present itself. Every time I genuinely let my spirit guide me, miraculous things happen and become.

A Journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.

Lao Tzu

When I was child my spirit walked with me, hearing me while I roamed the woods, played in trees, observed the flowing river and danced in meadows. Never did I feel alone, instead I felt true to myself, at one with the world around me. At times I would joyously talk out loud to my musing friend, sharing dreams, desired adventures and asking for guidance. Often I would burst with elation, singing at the top of my human lungs to the universe with pure glee. As I held the hand of my internal spirit the world flowed, like a gentle river, an infinite stream…

The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.

Anthony Robbins

As I “grew up” in the world of humans this intrinsic core of my BEing was pushed to the side. I was encouraged to ignore its presence, to shut off the joyful rudder that sang to me of life’s grand journey. I heard from all around me to “be smart,” “don’t be silly,” “you must be rational.” As I accepted this, I began to experience for the first time what loneliness truly felt like. At times this taught way of being shut down my airway, choking the very essence of my wild authentic self to death.

I kept trying to find a way to breathe while conforming to the world around me. I knew everyone was trying to help me. Family, friends, teachers, mentors, they were all doing their best, guiding me towards “success” and a happy life. Yet, the more I entrenched myself into the world of “do, conquer, force, stay on the path of others,” the more I died inside.

As the years passed by, I was coached to compare, judge and measure myself against others, graphs of success, dollars in the bank, possessions in hand and to fear that which I did not know. The more I poured myself into this contrived world, the more intensely I felt lost. I had begun to believe that I was not enough, not worthy and far from perfect.

When did you allow others to fill your crystal ball..? When did you suffocate and extinguish your spirited dreams and passions..?

My lifeline was nature. Here I could breathe. Amongst the trees I felt understood, known. The gentle flow of a river soothed and washed away the debris of society’s discontent. The gentle breeze or violent storm awakened the wild child in me, stirring her very essence into impassioned joyful faith. Screaming into the lightening and thunder, dancing naked in a torrential downpour, natures cleansing always called me home. Her earthly pulse, my beating soul and the universal cosmic orchestra, reminded me I was already enough, I was worthy of anything I could dream and that perfection lay in the arms of individual interpretation.

Thankfully the gag I had put around my spirited muse choked me into sputtering awareness. Tearing it off, my lungs filled to capacity for the first time in years. With the inhale I once again remembered the infinite joy, curious wonder, expansive love and peaceful contentment. Daily I build up this deep breathing muscle, chipping away at the facade and mask I had put on to fit in and please the humans around me.

Today I blissfully coexist with my spirit, my muse, my inner BEing. I let her stir the crockpot of life, intoxicating it with elixirs beyond my mere human imagining. Gracing my moments to be experienced as complete unto themself. Everything aligns and flows with perfection, imbuing my time space reality with joy, love, peace and the glorious sensation of anticipation. I know that life is working out, that as I nurture my spirit, it sprouts grand adventures, life lessons, expansive opportunities and infinite explorations.

What does this mean in common language –

  • It means I don’t always DO what I am “supposed to do”.
  • It means that I literally follow the joy or bliss as Joseph Campbell phrased it.
  • It means I allow myself to just BE, sinking into the quiet, expansive space to listen, feel and allow.
  • It means I awakened my childhood faith that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE if I believe.
  • It means that I get to consciously choose to only be around people who joyously “fill up my cup” not “drain it.”
  • I give myself permission to play everyday with my spirited muse, to imagine, to feel, to embody all that I dream as though it already is.
  • I enthusiastically let go, surrender with absolute trust, allowing my inner spirit to guide my life, to share the how, when and where…
  • I ardently fuel the flames of my desires and dreams, stepping forth on the life journey with inspired action.
  • I choose what I will hear from others, the well meaning naysayers get appreciated without accepting their way as mine.
  • I am free to choose in ALL my moments how I will feel and react.
Freedom does not come attached to a flag, government or institution. It lies within, always there, it breathes, it pulses, it vibrates eternally…

Life is a glorious journey! I can share with genuine experience that this human life is magnanimous beyond words when we step forth connected to our inner self/spirit/source – coexisting and co-creating. I just need ten more lifetimes to live and share all the amazing dreams, desires and passions that zoom around my joyful BEing…

I ask you –

  • What fills you with joy when you think about it?
  • What dreams and desires did you put on the shelf and forget?
  • If you were lying on your death bed, what un-lived dreams would stand around your bed, the ghosts of personal regrets?
  • How old were you when you stopped believing you could do or be anything?
  • When did you start comparing yourself to everyone else?
  • Are you truly happy? If not, why??? And if you had that, did that, would you now be happy? Or???

If you have been following along with a magazine that reminds you how amazing you are, then click HERE to read more or read it all…

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Center ~ Centrum

If you are following the characters in “Your Soul’s Invitation” as they awaken to their heart’s desires, click HERE.

Within our center lies all the wisdom to set us free…

Have you ever noticed that everything begins in the CENTRUM or CENTER as we have come to say in the English language.

  • A seed grows massively from its original state, it is amazing to remember that a tall tree started so small.
  • A child becomes from the smallest of eggs that is nurtured and supported from within the center of a woman.
  • A hurricane swells from the “eye” twirling into its frenzied intensity.
  • A fire begins from a simple spark, spreading forth in all directions.
  • A pen touches the page to then move into the formation of a word(s).
  • A tornado builds its momentum around the funnel, gaining ferocity as it spins.
  • An artist’s paintbrush tip touches the canvas to spread the scene, the colors, the experience.
  • When we look closely at a pine cone, leaf, shell, sun, moon, earth…there is a central point, a core, a beginning.
  • From the pit of a volcano the lava builds, gaining force to spew its contents.
  • The swell of a wave curls and furls with the circular energy created by the tides and power of the elements.
  • The earth spins in its orbit, held by a force we cannot see…
  • The organs that keep us alive reside within the core of our bodies, from that place our heart pumps, lungs expand, stomach digests, existence pulses.
  • A flower blossoms from within, sending out its petals to adorn that which sparked it all.

Today I wish to expand beyond the Center we can see to the central essence of our desires, passions, dreams… The energy that drives us as humans. Our heart and soul’s perpetual reach for love, joy, peace and contentment. So often I witness and experience that people seek outside themselves for these pure life riches. All the while it rests within, waiting with patient quietness and knowing.

Because we cannot wrap it up in a box with a bow on top, we disregard its authenticity. Since it is not something we can touch, pin down, force, or see, we continue to search beyond the next horizon. It has no smell, taste or sound that is uniquely IT. Yet, ITS presence ALWAYS is.

So many have tried to describe this space, Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, Pope Francis, Deepok Chopra, Osho, Ram Dass, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Lao Tzu, the list goes on. Due to our upbringing of living in a concrete, tangible, science focused, do centered society and culture, the struggle with this truth lies in our inability to “prove,” “see,” “touch,” or describe.

It is funny how no one complains about the feeling of LOVE, until we think someone has “done us wrong” or we decide that our sensation of love is controlled by others, or we believe that love is outside of us. No one complains about JOY until we think someone is “raining on our parade,” or denying us what we want. Really….???

For years now I come back to the inner knowing, the truth, the equality we all share no matter what is happening in our world and life. All we have to “do” is BE. Just BE – Tantum Exsisto. As we learn to awaken and remember the seed of BEing that resides within everything, we find our center. We come home to a vibrational space that is love, peace, joy, contentment, grace…. The sweet spot of quiet expansion that is infinite and eternal.

At the center the calm awaits, cradled in love, joy and peace…

This glorious core of BEingness has lifted and guided me through so many things. At moments, the world tugs on me through media, news releases, or fear based broadcasts. My personal life, like everyones, takes unexpected turns, that can pull me out of my centered space – however, it only takes a moment to shift. In the time it takes to breathe in and breathe out, I can joyously return to the suspended space of BEingness. (Click on audio for breathing technique)

To sit in this space is not to deny that the earth is spinning, that there is suffering and that life has its challenges. Yes, in the cataclysmic cacophony of human’s perpetual choice to judge, harm and disrespect each other and the planet we live on, we CHOOSE to co-create continued struggle and suffering.

During this time of COVID-19 we have been gifted with a world equalizer. The virus does not play favorites, it does not see borders or walls, it misses the language differences, it is not selective by class or color… Oh we try to force IT into these corals of separation and blame. However, if we are honest with ourselves and others, COVID is not bias.

Another teaching offered by this pandemic is the “slowing down” of the human activity. Our “busy-ness” and distractions have been curtailed, focusing us inward. This kind of quieting, slowing and centering seems to be uncomfortable for many. It does not have to be this way, for the joy, love, peace and contentment do not reside outside, they are waiting within.

It disrupts what we know, it grabs our attention, it shines a light…are we listening? are we seeing? are we learning???

I can personally say with such heartfelt glee and expansive love, that once you tap into your CENTER/CENTRUM the ripple effect in your life blossoms beyond anything you can imagine. The feelings you wish to experience travel with you no matter where you go, who you meet, what you experience or see… They exists within you always.

On my other site – The BEingness Project, I share my hearts desire for all to come home to this vibrational space that is indescribable. To live life from this core is to meet and remember what the baby/child in you knew. Sadly, the world around you taught you to judge, compare, separate, limit, and disconnect from your inner BEingness. You were born trusting, loving, believing, seeing the world through eyes of curiosity, wonder, joy… You did not arrive with separation in your heart, or judgment in your mind, or hate in your soul. The bright BEing you were at birth resides within, connected to the unseeable vibrational state of BEing that guides you towards your heart’s desires.

Just BE, is my internal pulse, it absolutely oozes into everything. I thrive on its expansive love and joy. It bubbles up like a geyser, flowing into all moments with grace. It does not forsake us, we forsake ourselves and each other. Our suffering is our choice, we create and distribute discontent, hate, separation, harm, judgment, blame, condemnation, and… Look into the history books, peek at the ruins of previous civilizations, humans perpetuate the cycle. In a pure state of BEing there is no space for hate, harm, judgment, separation, blame….

In curiosity I ask you –

  • When has revenge ever really worked? (play out the long term history)
  • When has hate resolved an issue?
  • When has blame made you truly feel better? (Feel not think)
  • How has war resolved a root problem?

Thank you for joining me today ~ I wish for you and yours an experience with your BEingness, for once felt, you will become addicted to the state.

In the center of our true self it waits…

If you have been following Rita, Francine, Ken and Doug on their journey to their BEingness, join us HERE.

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Becoming a Statistic…

If you haven’t opened the journey to explore life with the help of a miraculous magazine, now’s your chance – Click HERE.

Friday morning I became a statistic.

It is strange, for we become a statistic when we are born, arriving in this chaotic expanding world. We also get counted when we depart this world, leaving behind this physical existence. Along the way we get enumerated and categorized in so many ways. Gender, age, income, nationality, education, profession, sexuality, religion/spirituality, etc…

The latest circumstance that added me to a growing list was not by choice, however, I knew it was only a matter of time. In a world that presently observes the growing number of COVID cases, I recognized that between my job, which exposes me to people everyday, living in an apartment and co-existing in a busy society, it was likely I would catch the virus.

Yes, this girl tested positive to COVID-19. Thus far, I feel very fortunate that my body is rallying well with the symptoms. The biggest one being no smell or taste, which is very strange. My experience has really helped me to understand more clearly how easy it is for people to have it and not know. My symptoms are subtle, I have definitely experienced worse colds. It seems to strike everyone very uniquely, attacking and targeting a person’s weak spots.

When the journey with COVID-19 began, I found myself really wondering why we did not focus as intently on helping people to know how to build up their immune systems. All the fixation seemed to be on finding a vaccine. What about the one thing we can all do NOW, boost our immune systems. Why are we not empowering people to know how to navigate the possible symptoms, sharing things that encourage the body to journey through the virus with as much ease as possible.

As always I feel like our Western Medicine world is concentrated on treating the syndrome event, not the root issue – a weak immune system. As a health freak and certified Health Coach, the body and its miraculous ability has fascinated me since I was fifteen. Our bodies are incredible! When we invest wisely in nurturing this miraculous system, the results can even shock doctors; doctors who rarely receive any nutritional training during their schooling/residencies.

This week I found myself feeling shame as I lined up with many others to get tested. Why did I feel this way for something I did not consciously choose or want? As I looked around the line, there were all ages and walks of life. We sat there in the chilly morning for over an hour, knowing we had to be there early to be lucky enough to make the cut for testing.

I thought about people who physically struggle to get around, how were they supposed to get there and wait? What about the people who can’t get off work to get tested? I myself had challenges to get there. I had tried the day before, only to be 47th in line, missing my chance by seven people. After all these months have we made it easier for people to get tested? Do we support and encourage people to find out? I know I sure did not want to be there and if I did not care about spreading it to others, I would not have gone.

I have family that live in other countries, so it has been interesting for me to hear about their COVID processes. For my brother and his family in UAE, a team came to every home to test them. While my sister in Turkey had to be tested prior to students coming back to the school where she works. Every place pursues their own way of doing it, hoping to minimize the effects and impact.

As I stay tucked away in my little world, I look out the window and wonder, how many people that walk by have it and don’t know? If at 55 my symptoms are so mellow, the younger healthy generation is likely to experience almost nothing. Nine months ago when this really hit my part of the world, I asked then –

  • Why are we not focusing how to boost the immune system?
  • Why are we not empowering people with things they can do to keep themselves healthy and strong?
  • Isn’t it possible to come at this virus from two directions – immune boosting and vaccine?

It is my life experience that when we give others information that helps them to take charge of their own circumstances and potential, they do so, letting go of the fear and stress which cripples them.

As the numbers continue to climb again around the globe, can we open the conversation about supporting our immune systems to do the job they were built to do. Enabling the body to journey through the virus, hopefully increasing the number of people with natural antibodies. Science is powerful, however, let us not forget that science has been wrong many times throughout history. We are each housed within a body, a system that works hard to serve us through all of life’s challenges. Gratefully the last ten to twenty years I have watched our nutritional awareness expand and start to be taken seriously. Hippocrates and so many along the way have tried to tell us – What we put in our bodies, how we care for the inside and outside directly impacts our quality of life.

I might be completely wrong, but, I bet this will not be the last virus to challenge us. It’s a glorious opportunity for us all to compassionately care for ourselves and each other. Pointing fingers, blaming or shaming do not solve anything, they only inhibit our ability to heal, learn and grow. Like all things in life, we can look at COVID as an opportunity to create positive change or allow it to control with fear and limitation.

I am one of many newly counted statistics in my area… It is not fun, however, I am grateful to have a body that is rallying with me to move through this challenge to heal and become even stronger through the experience. My appreciation expands beyond words for all of those on the front lines testing people, working in the hospitals, trying to create the vaccine, and… May we all remember to be that smile behind the mask that helps someone to have a better day, to know they are not alone, and to do our part in our own self care, so we can then assist others.

We are not just a statistic. We are a human with many feelings, desires and dreams. As a species we excel at creativity and ingenuity, may we not forget that we are capable of great things. Fear drags us ALL down, it limits and controls. Personally, I prefer to focus upon ways that I can co-create positive change, versus getting sucked into the quick sand of fear and worry.

I ask you –

  • What things do you do daily to take care of your body, mind and spirit?
  • Do you know ways that you can bolster your immune system?
  • Are you taking action with regard to your own health and well being?
  • As you hear about the spread of COVID, are you also educating yourself on ways to help your body be ready?

On this snowy day in my world I send you well wishes for a healthy happy week….

If you have been following the magical magazine that changes life’s – Click HERE for this last week’s excerpts or to start the story from the beginning.

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Life Windows

If you have been following my novel, click here to catch up or join us.

A window, like life is limited by the parameters we put around it…

What windows do you view life through? What have been the vistas to raise you? What scenes have unfolded outside and inside those windowed rooms?

During this time in my life I find myself doing a lot of walking. I have always loved to walk, it is another way I meditate, ground myself, sort through life and feel natures balm.

As I shared recently I have moved into a small studio at the top of an old Historical home. I get to watch the dance of life through my large bay window, that is and of itself an art piece. I enjoy observing the play of light, listening to the sounds from the sidewalk and street. Yesterday I observed Halloween unfolding all around me.

The other night as I roamed my beautiful neighborhood, glancing at homes, watching squirrels scurry in frenetic winter prep and peeking into the clear glass frames, I reflected on all the life windows I have lived through.

As a young child I remember the neighborhood of matching homes, we all looked exactly the same from the outside. Sandwiched into college married housing I danced in the small living room viewing the diverse people and parking lot outside my home. We moved a lot in my young years, so I examined the world through many windows. Daycare, car, bus, home, windows everywhere….

As I played out the diverse windows of my life, I marveled at how many. Life is full of windows – what do we see and feel when we look out, as we look in?

At times windows have made me feel connected to the world around me. Living tucked in nature I loved hearing, feeling, smelling and seeing the world outside my little solo window. The Whipperwill sang me to sleep, the red pine whispered the secrets of life, and the breezes shared intimate stories of oncoming change. Those outside my window peering in, watched me sing and dance, cry in loss, stomp in anger, sit lost in my aloneness, write and read, all in an attempt to know who I am in life’s window.

At other times windows have made me feel alone, separate from the world around me. Looking out I take in the interactions between people, I listen to laughter, children playing, football games, cars, planes, yet, here I sit isolated and quiet. I know I can go out and become a part of it all. Sometimes I do. While often I prefer to observe.

At this poignant crossroads in life I find myself reflecting on life’s windows. I am taking the time to really scrutinize the scene, looking beyond the glass and flowing curtains. Who am I in this mix? What do I choose to experience, share, be an active participant in…?

I have taken in the view from so many work windows, many of them felt like they had bars to keep me in. I would look out counting the hours until I was on the other side. As I chew on this raw truth, I smile, for all those windows helped to raise me, make me who I am today, gave me diverse experiences, taught me to persevere and choose myself.

I am grateful for the kaleidoscope of windows that has thus far graced my life. I wonder with curiosity what windows await me. What aspects of life will I get to witness? What vistas will fill my senses with joy, invite and beckon me to more? What will happen on the other side, when I walk into the room with windows, no longer an outsider.

I ask you –

  • What windows have touched you the most?
  • What windows felt like bars?
  • What windows do you still wish to look out of?
  • How has the view out your life windows shaped you?

As I stroll past the many windows I smile with knowing that every window has a story. That every person looking out that window sees something different. They come to the window with their own personal journey, thus they can only see with that awareness. As I look at them, I can only imagine who they are, what they know, see and feel. I wonder, as they watch me walk by, what story do they write about me? Who do they observe from their perspective?

To see is to let go of the story, to allow the view to unfold with raw authenticity and wonder…

Life’s Windows let us see out while they help us to see within….

If you would like to join us on an adventure with a magazine that sees, hears and feels – Click Here

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Tantum Exsisto – Just BE

If I asked you are you happy? How would you respond?

I’m asking…???

Nike has their powerful slogan “Just Do It” which is recognized around the globe. Did you know that the slogan was inspired by the last words of a double murderer? I didn’t know that either until I researched. These articles from “Business Insider” and “The Washington Post,” share the brief story behind the famous slogan.

Why in the world am I talking about the Nike slogan? Well, for a few years now I have been chanting my own slogan. One that guides my existence, presence and choices. It is as simple as Nike’s 3 little words, except mine is shorter, 2 words, with the potential to have one more word if you want to get personal.

Celebrating in the grace of BEing is to open to the flow of infinite joy, love, peace and contentment….

Tantum Exsisto – Just BE

Tantum Exsisto Vous – Just BE YOU

Period.

End of story. Simple. Pure. Authentic. Vast. Endless. Infinite. All YOU ever have to “DO” is BE. BE YOU, from the internal space that is FREE from the human propensity to judge, critique, limit and deny.

If you have followed me for awhile you have read many blogs/vlogs that share my dream for every human to awaken their true BEingness. To breathe deeply into the inner sanctum of Exsisto, to feel and experience the all-embracing euphoria of BEing.

Ironically, I am Nike’s paradoxical slogan. However, I am not against “DOing,” I just wish for all to feel the difference between “Doing” and “Inspired Action.” DO is repeatedly attached to the sensation of “must.” Behaving from a reactionary space that is dictated by what others expect, mostly driven by societal/cultural “should dos.” BE comes from a desire, it bubbles up from the heart and soul, a craving to create, share, interact, express…

Tantum Exsisto utilizes the latin words “Just” and “BE” independent and yet transformative together. Why do we complicate? Why do we feel “UnWorthy,”, “Not Enough,” “Imperfect”??? What if we released all comparison charts, expectation grids, judgmental graphs and chose to celebrate “What Is,” allowing ourselves to blossom in our “BEingness”?

Look around your part of the world, what do you see and experience? Are people choosing their life, or reacting to their life? Are you living a life of choice? Or a life of DOing, because you are supposed to?

I experience a world full of “Doing” a “Reactionary” world that is presently spinning out of control. Have you ever noticed how beautiful the world slows down when you sleep? Sleep is one way of BEing that is accepted and encouraged. The bodies way to regenerate, recharge, just BE. Yet, today many people struggle to sleep, too caught up in their reactionary energy.

Every religious and spiritual “practice/teaching” has a root lesson in “BEing.” They invite us to reconnect, to remember, to awaken, to choose this space from which all things rise, all things exist, all is…. Oh it is phrased in many different ways, espoused in diverse practices – yet, in the unraveling and simplifying we come to – Just BE, Tantum Exsisto.

As a child you lived and breathed BEing….

Try this – Download this Worksheet to explore if you are Reacting to your life or Choosing your life. Use it to notice, not judge – remember, YOU are Enough, YOU are Worthy, YOU are Perfect right here, right now. Stop Fixing – Start BEing.

As a BEingness Guide, I am excited to share how transformational coming home to BEing is. Freeing oneself from a worried, stressed Reactionary life, to awaken your state of BEing. If you have read this far and are curious, send me an email – thebeingnessschool@gmail.com to schedule a free 30 minute session.

Today I close by asking –

  • Are you happy?
  • Is joy a sensation you often feel?
  • Are you stuck in a Reactionary Existence?
  • Is life full of delightful potential?
  • What would it feel like if you experienced yourself as Worthy, Enough, Perfect?
  • What if you made the choice to BE?

Join these fictional characters as they CHOOSE to BE

Tantum Exsisto – Just BE

In this moment, this moment, this moment….
Meditation is a powerful way to reconnect to your inner BEingness
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Slow Motion…

If you are enjoying how a magazine can change lives, click on “Just BE YOU,” a novel into self discovery and truth.

I am curious, have you ever felt like you were in slow motion while the world around you frenetically spun?

Last night while enjoying a sunset walk in my neighborhood (the pictures below are untouched) I marveled at the dance of light, the magnificence of nature, the stillness which vibrated up through the sidewalk. I wore my headphones, to void out the churn of the world. Encapsulated in my cocoon I merrily strolled suspended in my own delight.

I felt that the trees giggled with me at the busyness which surrounded us, the forgotten invitation. The flowers which still clung to their bygone summer stalks offered delicate symmetry with the sun’s dance across the sky. The grass poking up between sidewalk cracks jigged with merriment at their ability to rise through suffocated challenge. The carpet of leaves danced with color in their goodbye tapestry. Nature mirrored to me the joy, love and gratitude I felt for the NOW moment, celebrating in pure grace, the opportunity to just BE, breathing in and out with the grace that always offers itself.

I think that is why I love watching dogs, they are experts at BEing present in the NOW moment with supreme joy. I can almost hear a whimsical melody as they parade along with their human. Have you ever watched how they look up at their person, inviting them to play, merry eyes, waltzing paws and impassioned tail beckon the hominid to let go, to BE, to celebrate in the NOW moment.

In the last few weeks, I have noticed that I feel suspended in a slow motion vortex. One that notices the chaos, yet, tries to stay clear of such sucking, draining, exhausting disturbances. At my day job the challenge meets me upon entrance, the emotional human perpetuation of drama, struggle, blame and inability to hear or empathize by the almighty corporation/powers that rule. When I bike or walk the streets I witness how the uncertainty of these times impacts those I pass, mask, no mask, smile or look away, say hello or ignore. Humanity struggling with its own precipice of existence.

I encourage my slow motion exploration, for through the lens I am able to see my own behaviors and patterns. I am blessed to make choices in a more relaxed space. I can elect to step away from that which does not serve me or add to my delight in life. I joyously get to remember the pure enchantment of BEing present as the day unfolds. Feeling the pure grace of flowing with my life versus trying to push or force the river of life. There is a perpetual ease, rise in curious wonder, increased joy, peace and expansive love. In anticipation, I wonder where it shall lead me? What will it encourage me to create, share and explore? How will my heart invite me to experience the world around me?

Before I came to this page I decided to look at what others recently viewed on my blog, what pages captured their interest.

Here are a few –

To DO without BEING is to deny yourself Love, Peace and Joy! (Read paragraph 5)

The Sensation of BEingness…

Day 24, Grace…

In rereading these entries and some others people selected I see a trend, people are seeking to BE; wanting to find the quiet happy place within. As I shared in “The Sensation of BEingness,” I wish this joyous expansive space for everyone, for it does change how we interact and interpret the world we live in.

One of the ways to begin to explore BEingness is to view life in “Slow Motion,”, feel the moments, hear the seconds, smell the time, taste the occasion, breathe in the NOW, exhale in the new NOW. Slowing the inner self down to observe how the world spins and how you choose to interact with that perpetual motion. We forget, we are at CHOICE! You can live in a state of Reaction or Choice – slowing down to notice what you enjoy and desire, awakens your spirit.

I invite you today:

  • Take a walk noticing the world around you and how you really feel.
  • Give yourself the gift to slow down, to BE present, to notice – time it if you need to, give yourself an hour or two.
  • If you are with others, practice listening in complete presence (shut off the mind chatter and judgments).
  • Be aware of what you choose to share, does it make you feel good or drag you down?
  • The people you decide to spend time with, do they fill up your cup or drain it?
  • If you are feeling really courageous “slow motion” a whole day and be honest with yourself about what you witness with regard to how you are choosing to live life….

Thank you for slowing down enough today to read my sharing. May this blog entry find you and yours healthy and thriving…

Click on the image below if you are enjoying how Rita, Francine, Ken and others are saying YES to living a life of truth and BEingness.

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Keeping it simple to fuel my passions…

If you are following the magazine that speaks click here – “Just BE YOU”

As my regular readers know, I recently embarked on my next new adventure – living in the middle of the city in a tiny space (approximately 250 square feet). I have now been here two complete weeks and I can honestly say “I love it!”.

This last week I biked to work every day, taking five to ten minutes from door to door. My lonely car looks at me from the parking space, wondering why it has been abandoned. Daily I explore my current stomping grounds, admiring the changes that occur over the course of a day. The wee hours of early morning present such quiet freshness, street lights illuminate the diverse houses of this old part of town. Fallen leaves and mature acorns crunch on the sidewalk beneath my feet as I weave through the neighborhood. Evenings find me roaming farther afield, stretching the sunset for as long as I can. I admire the play of light on church steeples, carefully planted flowers and towering trees covered with their autumn attire.

Yesterday I treated myself to a morning latte, ordered from an adorable little cafe (Hyde Perk Coffee House) tucked into the Hyde Park zone . Walking up to the COVID created outdoor window I placed my order. While I waited, I enjoyed the tranquil street offering haloed quaint shops and restaurants.

As I sink more deeply into this simplified life I find myself celebrating the freedom to focus on my passions. Imbuing them with new vigor and delight. In decluttering and reducing the demands in my life, there is no denying or avoiding, the truth of my desires fill the space, beckoning me with intensified zeal.

It is strange after twenty two plus years to focus on just me. Being a mom has been the most precious and important role in my life thus far. Throughout the journey I always strived to maintain the woman within, juggling to balance the needs of my children and self. Now that they are off exploring their worlds, I find myself looking to the horizon with fresh eyes. Inviting the odyssey! Welcoming exploration! Bounding with faith into passions that stir my soul.

Keeping it simple has rekindled my enthusiasm. I feel like a fresh twenty year old, saying loudly, “bring it on!” I engage vibrantly with curiosity at what will happen next, for when we give wings to our passions, they lift us into exhilarating adventures. This is way better than being twenty at the beginning, for now I carry with me the wisdom of many life experiences.

I chuckle at all that has happened just since June, especially during such crazy times on our planet. I have been blessed to work and live on a farm in San Juan Island, Washington, I then came back to be called to the next change – living tiny in the center of the city. I am very excited to see what I attract next into my life experience. Watch out world, this girl is enthusiastically soaring into her “second life” with joyous gusto!

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

Maya Angelou

Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.

Oprah Winfrey

There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.

Nelson Mandela

This above all; to thine own self be true.

William Shakespeare

Provoking Questions for this week –

  • How do you fuel your passions?
  • What would you do more of, if you did not have such a long “to do” list?
  • If you had all the money you wanted, how would you spend your time?
  • If you were living your passionate life, what, where, how would you be living?
  • Do you live in the present day, or stuck in yesterday and or dreaming about tomorrow?
  • What excuses do you tell yourself over and over for not living your full life?

Thank you for journeying with me – isn’t life a grand adventure!!

If you are following the great adventure of Rita, Francine and Ken’s life click on the image below to learn more about the miraculous magazine 🙂 –

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Just BE YOU…

Are you happy? Do you like who you are?

Why or why not?

Can you remember a time when you were happy? When you really liked who you are?

When did you give others the permission to tell you that you were not enough?

As a person who has always been intrigued by learning, experiencing and exploring interpersonal aspects, I have spent the last thirty-five years investigating myself, others and the world around me. My bookshelves burst with self-help books. I engaged in workshops, classes, certificate programs, attained degrees, tried different jobs and…, all in quest for happiness and self-love.

About five years ago I finally woke up. Looking around me at all I had done, watching people on the streets, listening to colleagues, friends and family, I began to fully understand and more importantly KNOW from within that each and everyone of us is already perfect in our own unique way. No one needs fixing. Everyone is worthy. Everyone is enough. Everyone is on a journey doing and being the best they can in all moments.

When did we give our freedom of choice to others, allowing the dictation of society and culture to fence us in and suffocate our expression?

As I breathed deeply into this new found sensation, I felt myself joyously relax. A new depth of peace filled my soul. Joy gurgled from my very core, oozing out through my pores. Curiosity, wonder, love, passion, desire and pure delight sparkled in my conscious and unconscious being.

The ultimate Ah-Ha rippled through my very essence – awakening within me the truth of truths – All we have to do is JUST BE.

Each of us is a glorious sparkling star in the galaxy of humanity. Beautiful as a solo light, however, even more spectacular in the magnanomous milky way of diversity and concordance.

To look out with wonder is to give ourselves permission to dream, to explore, to play and believe…

For years now all I have wished and dreamed for is that all people come home to the quiet loving space which resides within. Discovering their quintessence truth – they are enough, they are worthy, they are perfect.

In a world where judgment happens first and kindness swings in last, we begin at a very young age to see ourselves as inadequate, not enough. Why do we do this to others and accept such beliefs for ourselves?

As I more deeply embodied the discovered truth, my world opened up in profound ways. Feeling completely “high” on life! I found myself wishing for everyone such pure grace. I cannot even encapsulate in words the full expansiveness of this sensation. It overflows, bubbles forth and lifts one to a pure space of bliss.

It is the reason I created my other blog/business space – The Beingness Project, for I dream of a world where we love who we are and celebrate the differences and similarities of others. It would be a very boring place to live if we were all alike, yuck! Diversity offers us opportunities to learn, grow, explore and discover. Differences stir curiosity and wonder. Just as we would find the world extremely mundane without diverse terrain, a population of clones would drive us nuts!

What might we discover if we believed in ourselves?

Lately I have been exploring the immense fun of storytelling, for we allow fiction to stir up hope, belief and new perspectives. “Just BE YOU” is a novel that journey’s with diverse characters as they come home to their inner truth. Waking up their passions, dreams, desires, joys and curiosities. Opening their hearts and souls to feel and know that they are enough, they are worthy and the world is a playpen to frolic in.

I do not pretend to be clear of human judgment, reaction, or moments of falling down in my self worth. I definitely still have my days where I am bitten by the world around me, its discontent, chaos, separation and extreme hypocrisy pry into my psyche throwing me into judgment, comparison and dissatisfaction. However, I am delighted that I can swing the pendulum back quicker and quicker as I practice breathing in deeply the truth of Just BEing. The world is a magnificent amusement park, full of adventures and discoveries. Can you imagine how grand it will be when everyone awakens to their ENOUGHNESS – gifting themselves to Just BE…

As I allow you to see me – I gift you with seeing yourself, for our innermost desires are rich in similarities…

If you would like to begin the journey back home to your resplendent self check out some of my early vlogs and worksheets to jump start the adventure –

  • Why Beingness? – Vlog #1
  • How much of your life is dictated by others? – Vlog #2
  • When did you stop trusting your emotions? – Vlog #3
  • Do expectations control your life? – Vlog #4
  • Can you imagine a life where you live free? – Vlog #5

I conclude today by asking you –

  • Are you Happy?
  • Do you like who you are?
  • Is life an adventure or drudgery?
  • Do you do what you SHOULD do, or what you WANT to do?
  • Do you blame others for your discontent?
  • Do you blame yourself for your unhappiness?
  • What IF – you loved who you are right here, right now and evermore?
  • How would your life be different if you started to live from your heart and soul?
  • How would life change for you if you stopped letting fear dictate?
  • What would you let yourself explore if you didn’t care what others think?

Happiness, peace, love, contentment, passion… are inside you, always. Today, Give yourself with the gift to Just BE YOU!

Join us on a fictional journey with a magazine that changes whoever opens it – click on image below.

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It Did Work Out…

Latest Raw Authentic Musing

Click on Image at the bottom of blog for the continued adventure with Rita, Francine and the miraculous magazine. Who might find one next? How is it changing life’s? What is happening for Rita and Francine as they open and feel?

What dreams await your curious exploration? Don’t let them die within you….
  • I am curious, have you ever done something you thought was silly, yet you just had to do it? Your mind would not shut up until you did it?
  • Moved somewhere because the place would not stop haunting you?
  • Ever dreamed of experiencing something, thoughts of it flowing into your mind without invite?
  • Wanted to try another job or place – but let fear control you?

My time on San Juan Island, Washington at the polycultural farm was one such experience. I continue to be so grateful for that time and all I learned. Since my return to Boise, Idaho I have had many people say, “I’m so sorry it didn’t work out.” My response to this caring statement is “It did work out, perfectly.”

If we allow our soul to speak, it has such adventures, dreams and desires to share…

When did we learn to view our life through the lens of “Success or Failure?” Is not life an adventure full of twists, turns, spins, ups and downs? If I was always happy and satisfied, how would I know, if I did not have relevancy by feeling otherwise. If I saw everything I tried that I did not like or enjoy as a failure, would I not be teaching myself shame and fear?

How do we know, if we do not try?

When your child begins to walk and falls down, do you tell them they are a failure? When a friend embarks on a new relationship, do you tell them not to do it because it might not “work out?” When did we become so judgmental and afraid to try? We definitely were not born that way.

Why would anyone ever extinguish the mystery of life unfolding and becoming…..

Today I sit here smiling at another opportunity I am preparing to experience. I am excited and open to all it shall offer me. I have no idea if I will love it or not. If it will be right for me or not. What a thrill to go for it and try!!

As I shared in my last blog, I received the unexpected news that I get to move from the lovely pond sanctuary, opening the space back up for the family who owns it. The last few years have found me craving a small simple space where I walk or bike everywhere. A place that is easy to care for, thus giving me more time to write and pursue other things I find pleasure in.

I joyously get to move to such a space this next week – embarking on my next adventure in this life. Will I enjoy it or not? I don’t know. What I do know is that I will not know unless I try.

The space is teeny tiny (approximately 200 sq ft), full of charm, close to everything and perfect for this Writer to explore more.

We are here but a moment in time ~ why would we choose to limit the journey…?

When I visit with people asking about their passions, desires, wishes and dreams – I am often met with a surprised blank look. The words, “I don’t know,” often follow. Or, “I’ve never thought about it.”

I wonder, if we took away the judgment, comparison and shame, would more people go for it? Is not life about enjoying the journey? Being in the moments we never get back? Enjoying the sensations such an experience offer us?

Personally, I prefer to view my life as “It is always working out for me.” When I look back in the rearview mirror of my life, I smile, for it is miraculous how all the experiences are dots on a road map of this grand adventure. Each one could not exist without the one before it. Was it all fun? No. However, I would not trade any of it, for I would not be me, here today celebrating life’s next unfolding – I know it is working out for me.

This blog entry is an invitation.

  • Dream…
  • Explore…
  • Feel the inspired callings…
  • Let go of fear…
  • Leap with trust and love…
  • Go For it…
  • Live a life of NO regrets…
  • Carpe Diem…
  • All that is certain is uncertainty – thus the now moment is precious…
If you have been following Rita, Francine and the miracle magazine – click the image above.
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Unexpected News Generates Creativity and Adaptation…

The Beingness Project – Your Personal Journey Home – A novel invitation to remember who YOU are… Click on the title above to continue the journey with Rita, explore with her as she remembers what brings her joy. Meet Francine who begins to question what happiness truly is….

Take a peek at Today’s Raw Musings

The tide of life rolls in and out consistently, it never does so the same as yesterday or as it will tomorrow. Humanity mimics such grand diversity, expressing and unfolding ever on…

Yesterday I received some unexpected news that has stirred all kinds of emotions. First, I experienced the fear jolt when life presents something that means you must make a change. Then, after a few deep breaths of acceptance, I rolled into gratitude and faith. Life is inviting me into what comes next. Is the timing ideal, No. Do I know where I will go, No. Have I figured out how I shall make this move, No.

In quiet surrender we get to explore the unfolding of life’s adventure, our soul’s invitation into what comes next…

What I do know –

  • I am healthy, willing, creative and believe that life always works out.
  • My children are safe, well and joyfully on their path.
  • I have amazing friends and family.
  • I have experienced throughout life that things happen for a reason and sometimes we just get to be patient with trust.
  • I have joyously been simplifying my life and belongings for years now, so it is easier to adapt to life’s unexpected.
  • Life moves along with or without us, so I can choose to delight in the unknown or live in fear and worry. The latter is not fun or fulfilling.
  • I am a happy, strong soul that chooses to see life as a grand adventure, so this is an opportunity, an introduction into what comes next…

Now please know, I have my moments when I do feel the concern surface. When it does I notice it, accept it and then think about the real truth – I am okay and everything always works out.

So, what is this unexpected news? In a quick nutshell I must find a new place to live in 11 days. I sadly must leave the miraculous home I have been blessed to reside in for over four years. This space has been a gift beyond any words I can begin to express upon the page. I am truly excited that one of the owning family members is returning home. It will be very sweet for this beautiful home to wrap its arms around original family members again. My heart is joyous and overflowing with gratitude.

Personally as I continue to write, create and work towards a passionate life in full expression of my life calling, I move towards financial freedom one day at a time. It is definitely a work in progress, thus, I get to be creative with what I have and don’t presently have.

I joked with both my children that I am happy to live in a tent, my car, a simple hobbit hut, for all I wish to do is write. Period. All I dream of doing is putting word to page, weaving stories for others to feel and experience. Now that my children are off on their own exploratory adventures, I find myself in such a glorious new phase of life. I have always been a quiet soul who enjoys the simple grace that flows. For years now I have craved to live in a small cabin where I quietly write and soak in natures balm. Or, if in the city a delightful small studio space with many windows where I watch and observe life, gathering even more inspiration for the words that flow.

This unexpected news is good news. I can feel it. Within my heart and soul I can feel that it is time for me to move into what comes next. I do not know what, where or how. I choose to surrender with love, gratitude and inner knowing that the perfect answer is aligning itself.

Life as I presently know it is about to shift. In less than two weeks I shall find myself adapting to what is next. I smile at this thought, for it is a mystery in process of writing itself. I enjoy my precious last days in this glorious sanctuary, reflecting on the memories and gracious gifts bestowed upon my heart and soul during my time here.

I ask you with curiosity –
  • When did life throw you a curve ball that led to amazing new experiences?
  • When you look at your life, how often have you been surprised by how it plays out?
  • Do you choose to see change as a scary unknown or a curious adventure?

Carpe Diem!! Ready or not, here I come…

There are more stars than I can count, there are more paths to explore than I can in one lifetime ~ they all twinkle, invite, teach, imprinting themselves upon my very soul…
Click on the image below to read the in process novel – new excerpts are shared Monday, Wednesday and Friday at The Beingness Project.
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We Cannot Know….

If you are following the fictional journey, meet Francine today – Click Here

If you follow my unedited raw musings, click here for yesterdays.

I experience that most people believe they know, know another, know why a person acts this way or that, know what causes someone to do something, know why they feel a certain way, know… However, we cannot know.

Even when it is our children, parents, family or close friends, we cannot know. The journey of each single human being is unique. How we experience life, interpret what happens, react and live is completely individualistic.

Why then do we spend so much time trying to persuade another to think like we do? Convince them of living a certain way? Doing things the way we want?

What would the world be like if we accepted, valued and honored each individual for exactly who they are? Allowing them to BE, free of judgment and coercion.

I chuckle at this thought, for I am not sure we can do it. It seems to be an intrinsic behavior to seek like minded souls and if we don’t find them to try hard to make someone become more like us.

I freely admit I am very guilty of this behavior. Passionately so in my early twenties, I was eager to convince all who would listen that we should eat healthy, exercise, care about the environment, etc…. Of course I still have my strong personal feelings about life, how I prefer to live, what I like to do and to whom I like to share time with. However, I have come to understand that I cannot know, ever.

I find this to be wonderful, for it means I will always get to hear a different story. Learn something new. Look at something from a different perspective. It keeps the world interesting. It also means I get to be ME, freely with delight.

Freedom resides in loving ourselves right here, right now…

I invite you to play with this idea –

  • Ask a sibling or friend to share about an experience you both participated in – notice the differences and similarities.
  • Talk with a colleague about something you both attended, same time and place – did they experience the same things?
  • Explore memories with your partner/spouse, friend, children…?

It can be eye opening to learn how differently we each experience the world. We can never KNOW what another feels or experiences.

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Why Do We Watch or Read…?

For those following Rita’s awakening click here – Excerpt 5

Do you have that favorite movie you have watched over and over and over again? What about a TV series that you still smile about, even though you watched it years ago? Are there movies and shows that you secretly watch only when you are alone, never telling someone because they might think you are silly, too romantic, or crazy? Is there a book that you have read over and over again? Perhaps it is a book you bought a copy for all your friends, cause everyone will love it like you do, right?

I can honestly answer yes to all of the above. What is it that makes us come back to a movie? Nostalgically remember a show? Keep a book on our shelf forever?

In the pages I get to exist outside myself, I get to feel, explore and be.
Sometimes it is what I dream of, others shock me, while still others ignite such passion….

It is the feelings we get when we watch or read. They give us opportunity to vicariously experience something, give us hope, help us to believe. Some offer us laughter. Others inspire, help us to not feel alone, ignite passion, or simply let us be for awhile. Sometimes it may not be the show as much as who we watch it with, a sweet memory forever etched in our heart.

We choose to watch for many reasons, however, those reasons are tied to an emotion – whether you want to admit it or not.

Many people will say, “I want to escape,” “disappear for awhile,” “forget everything for a bit.” I completely own and admit this reason for disappearing into the world of a movie, show or book. It is delightful to live through the characters, leaving my life behind to feel, dream and imagine.

For most of my life I have written only nonfiction, which my library reflects as my chosen genre. While I enjoy reading a great fiction novel, they seem to be more rare and less often. During my furlough time with COVID I was called to the page in a new way. It caught me off guard and yet I allowed my muse free rein. I began the fiction novel I now share excerpts from three days of the week. Taking my reader on a journey through the life’s of the characters.

I come to the page with anticipation, what will I learn, see, feel, touch, taste, hear…??

I am having so much fun in my writers imaginary world. I now have so many questions for the authors of fiction – how do you leave your characters, how do you come back into the “real world”, how do you keep it all straight while residing in two worlds???

Like watching a good movie I get to disappear for as long as my body will acquiesce to sitting in one place. I get to imagine how it would feel, letting the plot surprise me as it presents itself. I find myself desperately wanting to hide away, to run to a remote little cabin where I can write uninterrupted until the pen is satisfied and complete. I visualize the day when I will not wedge my writing into a forty hour work week.

Already I feel other story ideas generating, bubbling to the surface. I joyfully watch them percolate, knowing their time for birthing shall arrive in perfection as it always does. Right now I get to enjoy every moment I am graced to play with the characters of The Beingness Project – Your Personal Journey Home. They have become a part of my family. I excitedly await the new people I get to meet when they show up unexpected. Oh what fun it is to feel and be in this other existence, a true “fly on the wall” in another time and space.

I invite you to join us as the story unfolds. Today’s excerpt – Day 5 . Will Rita tell her best friend? Will her children wonder what is happening?

I welcome your thoughts, input, and as I have shared constructive noticing when I make a mistake, for I am not an editor, I’m a free flowing writer, who lets the words run wild.

In conclusion, I ask again –

  • Why do you watch and read again?
  • What are we craving and desiring when we revisit a movie, book, show?
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Nurturing My Muse…

My 9 to 5 job that presently keeps me fed and cared for is an intense social job. Between colleagues and clients there is no true introvert quiet. While I may not be perceived as an introvert, I truly am, through and through. I fill up my cup and come back to life when I get to be by myself. The only company I seek or wish to nurture is my muse. He is always welcome, for he awakens and fulfills my innermost desires.

This mornings RAW musings. To read in full click here….

Yesterday after a full week of juggling my day job with my love and passion to come to the page, I was tapped. My muse and soul pleaded for quiet. They literally screamed for pure divine solitude. So, I listened, nurturing the muse, soothing the soul and gifting the body and mind with freedom to rest while wondering into philosophical caverns.

Filling up my muse’s cup, I explored and wandered with other writers, who like me ached for solitude…

Today I arise. My muse is such grand company. Stirring within me such pleasure, passion, joy and excitement for life’s grand adventure. Oh how I love to play with my muse, he puts the sparkle into life, inspires me to yield, let go and unabashedly play.

Thanks to my muse I do not give up. I step forth with pure trust that he shall guide me home to the writer’s life, to freedom, to a time when he and I get to play all day if we so choose. No time clocks, no outside work, just he and I co-creating with wild abandon.

I feel strongly that we all have a muse, a calling, a beckoning to come home. Delightfully, our muse’s are unique, diversified as we are. When we nurture our muse, hear them, let them take over and fill us up, the sensation is like no other. Infinite joy, wild passion, soft exploration, sweet discovery… There truly are no words to describe such union.

Freedom lies within our surrender, it awaits release, invitation, presence…

I have also discovered that my muse is not just one dimensional. I feel him weave with me whenever I allow myself to be completely present and enraptured with life. Fully allowing myself to feel, taste, touch, hear and smell the limitless sensations of life’s emotional treasure box.

Once one has drank the rich syrup from the cup offered by their muse, there is no turning back, the taste lingers, it haunts you, whispering an invitation to come home. Oh, once you dance unabashedly with your muse, their is no other partner who can enrapture you so… His bite has infested you, there is no cure. Nor, will you wish for a cure.

When we live each day married to our muse we are like a beacon in the dark, seen by others as we learn to see. I cannot imagine life without my muse. To shackle him is to stop my breath. To imprison him, is to clench my heart into stillness.

Why have we been taught to tame our muse, gag him, place him in bondage behind the walls of societal etiquette and expectation? Set him free, release the bonds, remove the gag ~ for only then are you free….

Do not fear my dear muse, I shall always nurture you. In me, you are home. In you, I am alive and home. As we dance together the world awakens with wonder. I hope that more dancers shall join us, filling the galaxy with impassioned, vibrant beings who are enraptured with life’s grand adventure.

  • I am curious, how do you and your muse express?
  • Share with the world?
  • Do you nurture and invite the well being of your muse?
  • Or turn them away, fearful of their intensity and passion?

Click on the image below to enjoy how my muse and I play with a fictional journey into “What if” ~ Travel with the characters as they reunite with their muse, awakening a passionate life…

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What Fills You With Joy…?

In the United States one of the first questions people ask another when they meet is “What do you do?” or “Where do you work?”. From the response we begin a litany of judgments within our head, cornering this person into what we perceive someone will be like if they are a teacher, accountant, pilot, engineer, server, nanny, CEO, director, singer, etc… Did you notice your reaction to each title? It is entertaining to observe how programed we are.

When I am working with clients I like to ask, “Do you have anything fun planned for the rest of your day?” or “What do you like to do?” It is fun to watch them react to such an unexpected question. I personally don’t want to know what you DO. I want to know what fills you with JOY. What puts a smile on your face, a dance in your step and fills your life with sweet memories.

To dance, is to embody the joy that internally vibrates from within…

As I continue to write “The BEingness Project” (today’s excerpt) novel, I’m having a delightful time allowing the characters to share their truth about what brings them happiness, fills them with excitement, passion, desire… I do not pretend to know or predict, I truly let them present to me as the words flow onto the page. What a joyous play date – a double dose of joy – I get to write, my innermost love and I get to learn about a new person.

As a child we naturally gravitate to what delights and entertains our innermost desires and wants. Then “growing up” and “adult training” ensue, deflating our essential intrinsic path to joy. I have always wondered why we bought into such a contrived way of living.

I invite you to join us as we explore and learn with our characters how to find our way back to the inner joy that has been waiting patiently for our remembering. Each person is a unique experience and unfolding… Below is the novel from this weeks journey. Click the image below to read how Rita is re-discovering what brings her JOY… Will her secret get discovered?

What brings you JOY? What do are you passionate about? What gets you out of bed in excitement and anticipation?

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Stories Unite Us…

Join us for a story about awakening the heart’s desire, the soul’s dream. (go to page 3 if you have been reading along)

Stories, we all love stories. When I was a junior high English teacher I was keenly reminded how important stories are in connecting us to one another. They gift us with this little glimpse into someone’s life, make us laugh, cry, imagine, etc… Each of my classes coveted “Storytime,” it united us in our own special way, with each class being unique, due to the individuals in the room.

When you glance upon your life, the stories lift off the page to tell a tale of your becoming and BEing…

As you travel around this ball in the sky called earth, dropping in at different locations, there is always a story. There is the historical story, the present day, the future hopes and dreams. Stories unite us, inspire us, allow us to feel and connect to parts of ourselves we sometimes close off. In today’s world of modern technology stories come at us through many streams – Instagram, YouTube, Snapchat, movies, television, books, blogs, the list goes on…

I am having so much fun sharing my fictional book! At the same time it is somewhat scary, for the self critique inside wants to come out to judge. However, as the characters become a part of my everyday life, I cannot leave them in the dark, for I do believe that they have a story to share. It has made my heart happy to hear from readers that they relate to Rita, that this first character is connecting to them and they are curious for more.

Can Rita keep the life changing experience to herself? Will she get caught? It’s totally unbelievable and crazy, yet, she can’t deny her desire for more…

What new worlds lie in wait for you? The invitation to your life awaits your reply…

Join us at “The Beingness Project – A Fictional Invitation,” to be reminded that life is a journey, a story in process, each day a gift to unwrap and open. The link above will take you directly to page 3, so if you are just joining us, make sure to scroll to the bottom of the page to select page 1 to start the journey with Rita. Share this book with a friend, it will give you a fun opportunity to explore some deep topics. A new page is presented every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

As I stretch myself into vulnerable sharing, there is also the “BEingness Musings,” here again there are new posts three times a week, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Go to the bottom of the page to select the piece you wish to read. The musings are unedited “art pieces” that flow from within me through my fountain pen unto the page. I share the image of the writing for those of you who enjoy reading the original ink. Below the image you will find the typed version for easy reading and reference.

Every person is an artist, weaving stories upon their canvas of life…

The power of a story is quite incredible. They carry with them the ability to transform, destroy, be used as a tool or weapon, they unite or separate, uniquely individualistic, no two people tell the story the same, nor hear it the same… What would life be like without stories???

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The Story Reveals Itself…

Isn’t it fascinating how life unfolds for us, often despite our own actions. I enjoy watching people, observing their reactions, choices and way of interacting with the world around them. I often wonder, “did they consciously choose?” or “did they just go through the motions?”.

Life can change within a moment. We forget that, which is a blessing and a curse, I suppose. I catch myself getting caught up at times in the blind behavior of believing that the world “happens to me,” while in truth, I am choosing how I interact with the world.

In the pages of our life we choose the cast of characters, what we feel, dream, create, share… Do not put your book of life in the hands of another or upon the dusty shelf…

In today’s sharing at The BEingness Project – A Fictional Invitation, will Rita be able to keep it a secret? Will she remember her inner most desires?

I hope you will join on the journey to discover what unfolds. The next page release happens on Wednesday. Until then, I ask you, what would you do if you were Rita?

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Vulnerable Joy and Nervous Peace…

Sometimes stepping forward in life means accepting a level of imperfection, knowing that with time, patience and persistence it will become what you envision. I have been promising myself for weeks that I would start sharing my fiction work, that I would wedge between the cracks of my full time job and life obligations the various musings that bubble up in my writer’s mind.

Today I followed through! It feels scary, vulnerable, raw, peaceful, exciting and joyful, a furious mix of emotions. I can feel within my heart and soul it is the right thing for me to do. I have always been a writer, a wordsmith beckoned to express. Words even arrive in my dreams, floating suspended on a blackboard or white empty space. They will also chant repeatedly in my sleeping head until I wake to write them down.

I did not ask for words to be my breath, they just arrive with the inhale and exhale of life...

As I walk they rise up through my legs, flowing into my heart, advancing then into my meandering mind. These are the words you will find etched in the new section titled “BEingness Musings” at The BEingness Project site. These are raw unfiltered musings, free from editing, critiquing and justifying. They arrive as flowing gifts, that I unwrap upon the page.

My fictional dance unfolds piece by piece at – The BEingness Project – A Fictional Invitation. Here you just might be surprised to discover how you relate to the characters, get wrapped up in the interwoven story and find yourself questioning the path you are on…

Stories have the power to transform, to open our hearts and minds to new horizons…

I invite you to BE with me. To dream. To live vibrantly alive. To awaken your hearts desires. To stir your passions. To remember your child-like wonder, joy, love and pure presence.

I conclude in heartfelt gratitude, for while I may not know you personally, I do feel your presence. I am humbled to have you journey with me. It is exciting and comforting to go forth into what is next, knowing you are adventuring alongside…

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BEing = Flowing Muse…

As the years tick by my craving for BEing rises. In this sweet suspended state there is only flow. It awakens a vibrational environment from within that connects me to all throughout eternity – no beginning or end. BEing, to me is a pure state of oneness, like walking on a cloud as the world around me buzzes in chaos. The stillness is infinite and multi-layered. I suppose it is the state often referenced by meditators (which I practice daily), spiritual practitioners, healers and those pure of heart in their religious practice. We are each unique in our journey and thus I do not pretend to know another’s connection to this grand indescribable space. I do know I wish it for every soul, for it releases one from the confines of concrete robotic existence to a place of detached joyous observation. Letting go of yesterday and tomorrow, to freely float in the present moment.

Meditating is a wonderful way to start a journey of BEing…

When I was young, I frequented this space with no knowledge of what I was genuinely doing, it was natural, freeing, joyous and full of unexpected discoveries. Sitting still or walking within the arms of nature opened the invitation for me to BE.

BEingness exists at all times, in all places and spaces, free to everyone, it awaits an invitation…

In our programed world we are often taught to lose this part of ourselves, severing our connection to the pure potential that always is. Most of my life I did not talk about or share with anyone this divine space of pure grace, for I struggled to find words which could truly embody its pureness of spirit. I still cannot explain, for it is not a state of BEing which can be described. I have often wondered if it is how people feel when they partake of drugs or alcohol, having only experienced the latter. In my personal journey with alcohol I have enjoyed its buzzing sensation that drops walls and opens creative spaces. However, I can say for myself that it does not touch the glorious space of vibrational BEing. Delightedly BEing has no harmful physical impacts, unlike alcohol or drugs and is scientifically proven to have powerful health benefits, so I’ll take more of that please.

This weekend has deliciously been all about following this bliss, letting it quietly guide my actions with authentic presence. Turning off my domesticated (see blog post on Domestication) taught brain to welcome the unadulterated state of joy which dances inexhaustibly to co-create anything, to stroll freely in dreams, curiosity, wonder and “what if”.

Happiness, peace, contentment, grace, potential, energy…, all reside in the flow of BEing

Last night I indulged in a sunset river walk. Absorbing the smells of late summer, admiring the suns red goodbye and marveling at the subtle play between water and land. People on bicycles sped by, fishermen cast their flies upon the rivers sway and walkers busily chatted amongst themselves. I travelled in their midst, floating in my bubble of BEing (state of BEing), merrily observing it all.

In this state my muse vibrantly awakens. Like a rollicking cherub it blissfully gurgles with thoughts, dreams, poems, songs, passion, love and contented peace. Like the river that flowed beside me, my muse meandered into the vast land of wonder and delight.

I often wonder, what would the world be like if everyone gifted themselves with just ten minutes or more per day of BEing. Gracing themselves with the unlimited potential that quietly resides between their inhale/exhale, pulsing with their heart and soul (an invitation to BE).

While preparing to slumber, I invited my muse to finish its writing. Concluding the flow of words that bubbled forth during my evening stroll…

Let Me…

Let me flow upon your ripple of time…

Let me catch my breath in your whisper…

Let me feel the depth of infinity in your feathered caress and raging passion…

Let me rest my head upon the textured warmth of your rhythmic heart…

Let me weep into the recesses of yesterday, the songs of tomorrow and the cracks in your skin…

Let me dance upon the soft sparkle of your dreams, engraving them upon the tapestry of life…

Let me release into the storm of your desires, abandoning myself into the rapture of oneness…

Let me run wild and free in the stirrups of your steed, thundering into the abyss of intertwined eternity…

Let me remember all the times our souls collided, birthing another star in the galactic Milky Way…

Let me….

I conclude with an invitation – Today I invite to you reacquaint yourself with your inner state of BEing. The space where all your dreams live, your passions, desires, wonders, joy, peace, love, grace… Like the blooming of a flower it awaits your invocation.

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Acceptance, Permission, Celebrate…

Settle down, stay put, be consistent, remain in the same job, climb the ladder of achievement, acquire property and things… Ugh!! I have sincerely tried, truly I have. Yet, to do so seems to kill a part of me, to shut off my passion, play and joyful exploration of life’s copiousness.

I recently sat down with myself to sincerely look at my life journey. Putting pen to page, I listed the different jobs I have engaged in since I branched out from babysitting at 16 years old – 38 jobs, yep, 38 different places with their own unique culture. I then reflected on my 28 year Bachelors degree expedition, hmmm… 4 universities, 3 states and over 245 credits in diverse fields of study – English, Business, Communications, Art, Linguistics, Teaching, Travel Tourismm, Health, Exercise Phys…. Then last but not least, I pondered my relationship quest, there too I have been blessed with great diversity.

I have always wondered, who “sets” the norms, why don’t we question and when did I say “yes” – I know I did not…

Embarrassment and shame have clung to me like a shadow that shows up in the dark. Haunting my heart and soul with criticism for my inability to settle down, stay in the same job and pursue life with focused intention to acquire and succeed by the societal and cultural norms and expectations I have been raised in.

Try as I might over the course of my life, I seem unable to do this. I am driven to learn, to experience, to delight in exploring life through the lens of a new place, people, environment and way of living. Every job has had its own lingo, flow and community. Each field of study expands the horizons of interconnected knowledge. Diverse relationships – intimate, friendship, colleague, employer/employee enhance my understanding of the world at large, for every individual has their own story.

The recent sojourn to work on a polycultural farm on San Juan Island powerfully helped me to discover and decipher more clearly what I do and don’t want in my life. As I find myself back in Boise, Idaho, I chuckle at how I hesitate to share this change. Feeling again that old sensation of shame, guilt and failure. In the quietness, I am given the opportunity to really see and feel into why I experience such self-judgment. From a very young age I felt bad for being someone who enjoyed change, who liked to try new things, explore different places and ways of living, finding it exciting and challenging to adapt and gain a new perspective. How can we truly know anything unless we try and change the place from which we view and experience?

I’m a dreamer. A passionate pioneer who thrives in climbing the next hill to take in the new view. Inquisitive, curious, playful and open to what I can learn, experience, see, feel, touch and hear. I grow to accept this truth, giving myself passionate permission to “go for it”, celebrating my soulful wanderlust! Like a wild animal, I do not thrive in the pens of societal and cultural expectations. I fervidly love being a pilgrim in life’s grand adventure!

It has been a long time coming and is way overdue – I Accept and give Permission to my wild soul to dance and engage in life as I am called. I Celebrate the exquisite opportunity to be curious, play, explore and seize the moments I’m graced to breathe… I find myself very excited to see what comes next with no shameful apology! Carpe Diem!!

I conclude with some of my favorite quotes by Thoreau, for they have inspired and comforted me in those moments of judgment –

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.”

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”

“All good things are wild and free.”

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.”

― Henry David Thoreau

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Turning The Page – Next Chapter…

It has been quite awhile since I put words to this page, I have genuinely missed this dance. In some ways I have chosen to stay away to personally investigate how I embody the title of this blog, “Walking Naked Truth,” for I always aspire to live raw, open, vulnerable and authentically present.

Life to me has always felt like an epic novel, rich with layered life experiences that weave together in a vibrant tapestry. Times of gentle flow, excitement, change, love, loss, etc… Each page expressing the ebb and flow of a single hominid traversing her sojourn here upon the planet.

Turning the page in our life is not an end, it’s a bridge between our inner and outer expansion of becoming…

The past couple of years I have focused intently on what “following my bliss” (a Joseph Campbell quote) feels like. Playing with different life paths in my heart, soul and mind. Meditating and feeling into how each avenue might play out. Ironically, I found myself returning to the dreams of my early twenties. Thirty years ago I drew a plan for a sustainable community. I purchased books about cob, straw-bale and rammed earth homes, solar power, small scale farming, herbs, on and on…. Now of course I joyously add tiny homes to the mix, along with earthships, polycultural farming, and…

As I joyously reacquainted myself with these heart desires I connected the dots to more recent places and experiences that I was clinging to, such as –

  • Falling in love with San Juan Island, Washington (2011).
  • Following the agricultural community on the island.
  • Wanting to get back to organic farming and living in harmony with the land.
  • No commuting – living and working in the same place.
  • Engaging my body daily in physical activity – leave “all day” desk sitting behind.
  • Eating even more clean and connected to my food/nourishment.
  • Expanding my support of local and sustainable practices.
  • “Walking my talk” with the believe that anything is possible, dreams can come true and pursuing and living one’s passion is the dynamic tango of an engaged vibrant life.

It was time for my next chapter! At 55 years young, I get to embark on the second half of my life. My amazing fledglings have flown the nest, beginning to explore their own “heart desires”, thus I clip the tired edges off my wing feathers to soar forth into new horizons with vim and vigor.

At times in life we step through a gateway where an untrodden path rises to meet us…

COVID – 19 encouraged my leap of faith, giving me the reflective time to dig deep and put into action the next steps. I wrote a letter to my favorite farm on San Juan Island inquiring if I could come, work, learn, and live upon the bountiful earth. I was willing to do whatever it took, live in a tent, minimal belongings, little income, etc… I had figured out my financial bare bones to live and stay current on bills, while I carved out my new life.

Miraculously I received a positive response, the window opened for me to jump into my new reality. I took Tony Robbins words to heart, “burn the boats”, I sprung into this new chapter of life with complete commitment, I gave notice to my employer, I packed all my personal belongings, loaded my little car, spent as much time as I could with my kids and waved goodbye to Boise, Idaho after 27 years.

I find myself presently enjoying the beauty of a stunning polycultural farm, where I walk to work, engage daily in physical activity that honors the land and creatures. A small character in an ecosystem much grander than the self. Each day is a gift, learning, growing and experiencing so much. I pinch myself to make sure it is all real, feeling the gratitude bubble over.

The novel of my life is a constant work in process. What a grand adventure it is, each page and chapter unfolding and laying a foundation for what comes next. I love flipping through the pages to recall memories, to sit in gratitude for the challenging times that taught me so much, to laugh at sweet moments, and… It is always bittersweet to close a chapter, however, the paradoxical bridge between the last page and new page is a tenuous one rich in a myriad of emotions.

Where are you in the life journey? As you turn the page, is it time for a new chapter, expansion and more time in the present chapter??

It’s hard to put down a good book…

If you followed your bliss, where might you go, do, see, experience…?

Thank you so much for being a part of my life book – In heartfelt gratitude…

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As Above, So Below… As Within, So Without…

These eight simple words have always vibrated within my inner chamber, pulsating with truth and unspoken oneness. Encapsulating the existence of all that is. Human’s in their net of “free will” grabble with their separation from this revelation, for it shreds all contrived discrimination and quantification.

Those two pure little phrases have been knocking on my psyche for days. I hear them as I sleep, feel them pulsing in my veins, inhaling and exhaling their quiet truism. I hesitated coming to the page, to lay bare such raw exposing words, yet I know, those who feel them will read, those who thwart them will flee.

To separate is to limit, to define is to control, why would I choose either…?

They are not words to define, investigate or even understand. They are an active expression of that which is… A feeling, a knowing, an inexplainable realm of peace, infinite grace and all-embracing love.

I often play with their expansive grace when I gaze upon the never-ending sky. Day or night her impenetrable existence stirs a kaleidoscopic adventure, from electrifying calm to savage turbulence. She mirrors the human dynamic, love to rage, insult to compliment, care to abuse, perplexing even ourselves.

I explore further their muffled call as I sit or stand enveloped in nature or immersed in the cacophony of manmade civilization. Here again they reflect our chosen experience. I can respond to it all with peace, fear, love, hate, joy, or… What I choose will either connect me or disembody me from the vibrational oneness. I am at choice.

Religious and spiritual texts try to encapsulate, define, explain and “tell us how”, yet, such truth cannot be sheathed or unclothed. It exist in a purity for all to bask, an equality across all existence – “As above, So below, As within, So without.”

As a child I floated in this luscious space, like an iridescent bubble suspended in humanity’s bewilderment. Every now and then I would bump up against those who would try to pop my intimate relationship with such knowing. Today I bow in gushing gratitude, for it has remained, serenely vibrating throughout the years. As I peek in my rearview mirror I can see how often I was invited to veer off course, to forget, to choose “humanity” as the almighty. In humble human awe, I breathe into the eternalized vibration, grateful for its umbilical linkage.

Floating suspended with no beginning or ending we breathe as one…

“I do not seek, for I am…

I do not need, for it is…

I am that, I am…”

Until today, I knew not where the eight word phrase came from. As I typed the title, I thought, hmmm.., perhaps I should explore where that all encompassing phrase originated. A quick research reveals Hermes Trismegistus, however, humans toss and turn over centuries with its true authorship.

I come full circle to repeat that it matters not where it comes from, for it is not about understanding from our limited human perception, it is a sublime unifying truth. I can never explain it to you, however, I wish for all its undefinable experience, for such awareness could unify the world.

As above, so below…

As within, so without…

I do not seek, for I am…

I do not need, for it is…

I am that, I am…

I invite you to feel, not understand. Release the mind from its exertion to decipher, allow the heart to guide. Surrender with love into the free fall of that which is, for your soul remembers and knows…

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A Moon Bath…

It is five in the morning, I sit perched upon my bed, a writer’s roost to bask in the moon’s glow. I breathe quietly into the layered silence that emanates, filling the space with expansive questioning. My moon effulgence is sweet, yet, I know it is fleeting. Already sounds of traffic encroach upon the scene, foreboding the ticking time bomb we title reality.

I allow my gaze to partake of the sparkling moon dust that skitters across the hushed pond. All lights, except for the dimmed computer screen are extinguished. Maybe I can somehow prolong the radiance, delay the initiation of the emerging sun. Can I hold my breath, pull the chord that entangles the moon, beseech it to stay perched for my eye to see and my heart to feel?

I suppose she may wish to rest, to rejuvenate for her next rising. Taking her turn in the celestial dance, being careful to not overstay her welcome. I am charmed by her mysterious illumination, never does she fear the dark, instead she welcomes it like a cloak of glad tiding.

She accepts that often she is unnoticed, a mere sliver in the sky, bashful in her monthly cycle. Once upon a time we honored her, knowing that her waltz in the galaxy was as important as the suns tango and the rains boogie, all essential in the abundance promenade.

I sit now enveloped in the complete emptiness of her departure. Silently she slipped away, no bravado goodbye, just a quiet last wink to those who glanced her way. I hold that gesture as I rise like the sun into the manmade chaos. It’s my glowing reminder in the anarchy of human civilization that all is impermanent, fleeting, a mere glint in infinite darkness.

A moon bath caressed me into this day. I lathered and washed infusing my skin with her radiant energy. Armoring myself against the onslaught of human preoccupation, the ignorant forgetfulness that we are an intrinsic part of the whole.

Thank you moon glow, your touch has lifted me. I shall not forsake your gift, nor ignore your virtues.

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My Second Half…

At the young age of fifty-five, I find myself joyously standing in the center of that which has been and that which is preparing to blossom. An eloquent juxtaposition that feels like a merry-go-round spinning with exquisite suspended scenes.

In addition to my age gracing me with the realization that a lot of life has been lived, my children now soar off into their own adventures, pushing me out of the nest. As the truth becomes absorbed cellularly I find a gleefulness that encapsulates the carefree wild child I was and the passionate wise woman I am. Uniting and marrying the two for prophetic adventuring. A smile spreads, curiosity ignites, rhapsodic imagination takes flight.

In My Second Half…

I know I am worthy and divinely perfect as I am…

I unabashedly live, love, and explore…

I witness the beauty in the mirror, celebrating the gifts of time…

I gleefully embrace my enough-ness, freeing myself of unsolicited opinions…

I canter at full speed into the arena of my passionate dreams…

I leap with complete faith, burying with fervor the crib of regret…

I acknowledge with great gaiety that I am a success and always have been…

I sever the twine issued by judges, critics and fearful fanatics…

I am free to BE me, gyrating with grace into the infinite expansion of self…

I pledge to live engorged at the table of life…

In my second half, I welcome the rhapsody Carpe Diem…

Fawn Caveney

Yes, everyday is a fresh stretched canvas. A posed pirouette. A barren page. A ballad awaiting melody. Oh what delighted mirth awaits in My Second Half…

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Writing is my home…

As I joyously inhale the rich scents of Spring, I smile at the magic of the pond surface, it invites me to become mesmerized by its soft masquerade. Pretending to be the cerulean blue sky, budding trees and patchwork clouds, until a duck exposes its truth.

What we see may not be that which we believe…

I sit in contemplation, why do I write? I explore this topic with sincerity, for I am clear, I do not wish to be an inbox pest, or an in your face “look at me” bombardment in this technological age. Writing has been my calm in life’s storms. Words whisper on the wind, thunder in my dreams, offer safe harbor for my truths and ignite my desires. Writing is my home.

It occurred to me yesterday that there is a poignant difference between words that are meant to be READ and words that are written for one to FEEL. I put my words to page for the latter, hoping they may touch a part of you that knows and remembers. Like a firefly in a dark room, my writing arrives to kindle your heart, mirror your magnificence, and celebrate your existence. My words wish to be your friend, whether they resonate or not, it does not matter, they arrive free of expectation or judgment.

Words beckon me, they arrive in dreams, promenade on the wind, sparkle in sun rays and wink with the moon. As far back as my small human brain can go, they have called, beseeching me to hear, to feel, to know their exquisite texture, tone and truth.

A composer hears music, an artists woos colors, a singer ignites sound, a dancer feels cadence, a writer breathes words. I write because I must, whether or not anyone reads my sentences matters not to my persistent muse… As a willow will bend in the wind, the colloquy shall flow from within, arriving on any inviting surface.

“I do not write to convince you, I write to invite you…

I do not write to ignite your approval, I write to remind you of your magnificence…

I do not write to tell you what to do, I write to celebrate you

I do not write to tell you something is wrong, I write to empower you to choose yourself…

I do not write to give you 7 Steps to a better life, I write to inform you that you are already enough…

I do not write to critique your life, I write to reflect back your perfection…

I do not write to magnify your discontent, I write so you may embrace your worthiness…

I do not write for you to read the words, I write in hopes that you may feel the words…

I do not write to get your attention, I write because I must, it is who I am…”

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The Whisper…

During this time of “stay at home” it has been easier for me to find that sweet spot, the whisper tucked between the multiple layers of silence. It is a vibratory space, one that is texturally exquisite and infinite once you empower its presence. Most people I meet are unaware of its existence. Many are afraid to allow it to surface, for in doing so, they would be called to enjoy their own company. Releasing all busy-ness. Freeing oneself of the obligatory do. Gracing the moment with just being.

The resonating whisper that is so eloquently wrapped amidst the divine layers of silence is the supreme land of freedom. It lifts one out of human suffering, suspending all time and place. A space of paramount intimacy where the in and out breath merge with grace. Quieting the pulsating ebb and flow of blood. Soothing the heartbeat to a gentle murmur. Inviting the skin to relax and float upon the coagulated mass beneath its protective sheath. All that separates evaporates. Leaving in its wake the galactic interconnection of all that is…

One can witness the ethereal whisper, it is –

  • the pause before a new born takes its first breath…
  • a blossom thrusting the first petal forth…
  • a soft crack exposing a hatchling…
  • the heavy dark clouds at the edge of releasing the first raindrop…
  • the buoyant zone crossed by the mind embracing sleep…
  • a mother quietly viewing her child…
  • the moment a leaf touches the water…

The transcendent whisper perpetually summons, alluring one to tiptoe into the omnipotent realm, an invitation to vibrationally dance upon the edge of contrived human existence and the sempiternal expansion of all that is.

What might we discover about ourselves and the cosmos we float within if we welcome the layers of silence, beseeching the centriole whisper to swaddle us in its infinite glory? Could we potentially navigate our human existence with a newfound harmony? Rising in vibrational crescendo to a state of tranquility?

I invite you today to find the whisper. Allow yourself to float within the unparalleled effervescent freedom of the whisper.

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Ode to the Blossom…

Outside my bedroom stands a glorious cherry tree. I call it the cotton ball tree, for in the Spring it becomes a round white fluff ball balancing on a dark gray leg. When viewed from the other side of the pond, it receives grand compliments like the belle of the ball, dressed in regal finery.

She is the first to don her green as the winter wanes, preparing and fueling herself to burst forth with voluptuous magnificence. Watching the tightly wrapped buds as they expand in preparation to expose themselves, beckons one to be patient. Then it happens, the soft white nearly translucent petal leans back, inviting the others to join her, telling them it is safe to open up.

It is a grand party, they dance and wave on the currents of seasonal change. Quietly role modeling for the nearby trees that the time is now, a merry invitation to play.

I am awed by their extreme courage and strength, such delicate baby soft petals do not give way to the last ambushes of winters gusts. They stay perched in their efflorescence perfection. I am mesmerized by their unabashed elegance and enraptured by their swirling soft perfume.

The time of fading looms. They cling to the final glory days. Intense gales with blurring rain try to undress the dignified queen of trees. The fair ivory petals do not forsake her, they stay, grasping to the last days of their eminence.

A blanket of white bares the truth, fading with quiet acquiescence they fall. Knowing that their time in the sun has come to an end. They exalted the rising of Spring, tempting others to brave the change, now with extreme fortitude, they accept death.

Springs blanket of white shall last merely a moment in time, a mirror of life’s fleeting impermanence…

I sit in admiration of their unpretentious valor, for they did not try to burst on the scene before they were welcomed and they do not linger longer than they were invited. There is a resplendent acceptance that life cycles, birth, life, death.., birth, life, death….

As the sun worships their last moments in the cradle of leaves, I too stand in adoration of their benevolent presence and passing. Our time shall come again on the ebb and flow of seasons. I thank you humbly dear blossom for the reminder that everything has its season, blooming in perfection with the raw truth of impermanence and fragility in the presence of time.

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“When Will WE Ever Learn…”

As I quietly sit tucked away in my “stay-at-home” cocoon, hidden in the branches of my make believe treehouse, I am saddened by what little news I allow to trickle into my world. As a person who has “news fasted” for over twenty years, I find myself even more grateful now to be distanced from the onslaught of hyperbole and disrespect that smatters itself across the page, video screen, TV, and…

Will WE ever learn? Can WE change? Or are WE doomed to repeat our sabotaging human cycle? WE tout ourselves as “advanced,” as “civilized,” as “wiser and smarter” than the people before us. Are WE really?

From what we know historically about the human existence our patterns are blatant, a slap in the face, or pure insanity according to Einstein – “

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former,” and “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein

What is that cycle, the insanity we perpetuate? War, revenge, greed, abuse, torture, blame – not understanding or digesting that the “grass is never greener” it is always just different. In the COVID-19 experience we have so far blamed, criticized, panicked and now protest. Are we civilized?

Definition from Cambridge Dictionary: A civilized society or country has a well developed system of government, culture, and way of life and that treats the people who live there fairly.

Pete Seeger wrote a song that lyrically reveals our repetitive tale, just hit repeat and you can play it century, after century (Preformed below by Peter, Paul and Mary).

Could WE look at this time as an opportunity, a chance to pause, a time to come together to make new choices? The song below is one that remains in my memory bank, it encapsulates our human “insanity” as labeled by Einstein.





Buried treasure conjures up images of gold, jewels, gems, silver, piles of money…? I question, will this treasure:

  • Feed me happiness?
  • Buy me true friends?
  • Purchase passion?
  • Acquire bandaids for unhealed wounds?
  • Settle debts of unforgiven moments
  • Provide me with food when their value set and accepted by humans is nulled or destroyed?
  • Procure me peace?

As we tour the ruins of previous “advanced civilizations,” are we offered a glimpse into our behavioral patterns? Are they role models of what did not work, along with what did work?

Shall we continue on our path, believing ourselves to be wise and advanced? Or can we humbly open up to realize that there are soon to be 8 billion different perspectives. Yep, in our “advanced” state, no two of us are alike, so why do we fool ourselves and others into thinking we should be similar, want the same things, see the world the same, etc… This will never be, unless a new virus erupts that brainwashes such change. Personally, I believe the world would be extremely boring if we all thought, believed and wanted the same things. Our differences give us opportunity to learn and grow.

Maybe Dr Seuss’s famous tale, “The Lorax,” should be revisited by us all.

Or “Horton Hears a Who…”

Here I sit wondering, “Will WE Ever Learn?…

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What Have You Learned???…

As discussion begins to formulate around going back to work, I find myself in deep reflection. What did I learn about myself during this time? How do I feel as I stare down the barrel of returning to the 9-5 game established in this society?

My family and friends would easily share with you that I have never been very good at staying within the lines of “societal expectations”. Since I was a child there is a different drum that beats in my heart, like a far off voice, it beckons me to follow my heart’s desire, or as Joseph Campbell’s famous quote wisely shares, “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”

What a tightrope tap dance it has been for me. Like doing the “Hokey Pokey” I sometimes put my little foot in, however, more often I am yanking it out quickly, fearing it will get sucked into the quick sand of society. So many times along this journey I have quietly wished that I could be “content” with the cookie cutter society we’ve established, “just “Baaa…” along Fawn, follow the flock, be happy with what is, stop walking off the path,” I whisper to myself. The voice of “reason,” as some would call it, became even louder when I brought children into this world. In reflection, I wonder at moments, what if, I had chosen a path more in line with my values, like the movie “Captain Fantastic”. Of course part of my dream involved not doing it alone, I wished for that partner who also desired a sustainable life upon the land. Sooo.., I gave up on that dream, or better stated, I put it on the shelf where it has collected dust and cobwebs for years.

This unexpected time to truly just be with myself and my children has graced me with the opportunity to dust off the values and characters on the shelf; informing the spiders that they will no longer keep them company. In complete honesty, I started to dig into the protected chambers of my heart and soul when my son left for college three years ago, for his his sister was not far behind him. What did I desire for my second half of life? Where did I wish to live? Create, share, explore..? That time is now!

Pulling out my tightrope dancing shoes, gathering my dusted off values, passions and dreams I sit down to visit. Like grass erupting through concrete, the lusted for aspirations blossom anew. Pulling out pen and paper, my forever best friends, I make a list. What did I love about this “stay at home” time?

  • I loved not commuting to work.
  • I relished the quietness, listening to the layers of silence as they expanded.
  • I fell in love all over again with putting words to page, allowing my muse to dictate the flow.
  • I joyously celebrated the dream to “work & live” in the same place.
  • My body, mind and spirit relaxed into the beautiful simplicity, the washing away of chaos, stress and worry.
  • I celebrated the chance to only let in what inspired me, stirred my desires and ignited my passions.
  • Relishing the completely present time with my children, sharing meal creations, conversations, movies, games and walks.
  • Letting my body move without an alarm clock or tight schedule.
  • Sinking more deeply into the grace that nature offers in her infinite wisdom.
  • The gift to stay away from the chaos of the city, keeping my distance from the negative energy created by stress and angst.
  • The chance to play with new ideas, free of demands and interruption.
  • Allowing my quiet introverted soul to breathe deeply, embracing the peace that always is…

What did my list tell me? Certainly I can go back to “normal”, get back on the merry go round of commuting, punching in and out on the time clock, maintain a home, car, blah, blah, blah… Or I could begin to seriously listen to that far off voice. Encouraging the whispers of my heart and soul to rise in serenade, to crescendo into the new future.

I am curious, as we continue to navigate the COVID-19 phenomena,

  • What are you learning about yourself?
  • What is important?
  • What are your desires and dreams?
  • Do you want to go back to normal?
  • Were you happy?
  • Is this a new opportunity?
  • A chance to reflect, dust off forgotten wishes?
“Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.” ~Joseph Campbell

I shall conclude today with another powerful quote from Joseph Campbell –

“We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it is all about.”

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Are We More Advanced???…

It was clammy and cool, causing goosebumps to rise. The walls were a blend of rocks, dirt and moisture. The floor had hardened over time, an uninviting place to sit. My “little grandpa,” who was actually my great grandpa, had to duck to get down in there with me, but, he was always willing to humor me for a while. It was one of my favorite places on the farm, for it was home to the squishy little salamanders I enjoyed befriending. Early summer was the best time to be in there, for it was refreshing and the root vegetables from the last harvest were gone. The tiny little dark root cellar was just one of the wonders that remains tucked in my childhood memory bank.

My little grandpa’s farm.
To lose our connection with the land we live upon is to shut off our own breathing…

As a toddler I frolicked around my great grandpa’s farm. I called him my “little grandpa”, for his son, who was much taller and broader, got nick-named “big grandpa”. In my little mind the names made total sense and became the endeared titles for them as my siblings arrived one by one.

I absolutely loved my little grandpa’s farm. It sat in a small community in southern Michigan. A miniature piece of land that felt gigantic to my young adventurous spirit. It was full of wonders and places to explore. Thankfully my little grandpa humored my tagging along, even though it was hard for my stubby legs to keep up.

Like the seeds my great grandma would plant every spring in the garden, the farm memory rooted itself in me. I can still feel the gentle flow of life there, the seasons and the wonders of the land in its gracious life giving abundance.

Dear ole Rastis was my easy-going four legged best friend. He was a striking mix of black and white soft fur and just the right height for me to use as a balancing tool. Best of all he let me take care of him, kindly receiving my offered meal of rocks. It was a good thing I did not know until years later, that when I was not looking he would spit them out.

The other day as I reviewed the COVID-19 numbers around the world, it struck me again, how the hotbeds for the virus seem to be the densely populated areas. This led me to thinking about the human’s movement from living on the land, to occupying high rises. The shift from an agricultural species to an industrialized machine. As the years have flown by, we become even more disconnected from our roots with the land. For me, this recent world situation poignantly shares the ripple effect of our choices in so many ways.

The small farmer that has survived the onslaught of monster mono-crop farming, can still go out his/her door today to co-create an existence with the land. If necessary, they can generate a way to survive and get by during challenging times. Whereas, the individual sitting on the 39th floor of a high rise is limited with their ability to provide for themselves or their family. They are dependent upon the interwoven “advanced” lifestyle we have established over time.

Business as usual is non-existent as I type these words. We are being offered a magnified view of the infrastructure we have chosen to co-create. The closing of daily business as we know it has created a tsunami effect on the unemployment lines. What will the long term impacts be? How have our priorities and choices impacted us and the future?

I don’t know about you, but, thoughts of the small farm life prick my curiosity. The ability to wisely provide for my family, share bounty with others and create a community that ebbs and flows with the land, seems very inviting. A few years ago, I enjoyed the opportunity to work on a local organic farm, it was a sweet time that re-ignited my childhood memories. I never slept better than during that time, my body physically tired, my spirit full with a solid sense of important accomplishment. Ironically, I could not feed my family on the income I received, thus, I found myself back in the city working behind a desk. Personally, I find this backwards, for providing healthy nourishing food seems to be one of the most important life giving professions that exist.

Change does not have to be about sacrifice, it can be about ingenuity and a willingness to keep trying…

Many years ago I discovered a book that really stirred my thoughts about sustainable living – “Solviva – How To Grow $500,000 On One Acre & Peace On Earth,” by Anna Edey. Here was a single woman, like myself, going for it, trusting in herself and the land. She presented some interesting images for a “livable future” that really piqued my imagination (see above image), what if, we actually became that smart. Recently, I found myself exploring another sustainable way of living, Earthships. What if we actually started to think about our quality of life and how to create a better future for our children and the generations to come after that. We are creative, perseverant, compassionate, resilient beings when we decide that’s how we want to be… Like Edison, Einstein, the Wright Brothers, and any one else who had an idea, anything is possible if we believe, keep trying, learn from our mistakes and stay open to new ideas. After all, you are reading this on a tool that certainly did not exist when I was young.

  • I continue to wonder will we use this COVID-19 world experience to make changes that honor our inter-relationship with the land?
  • Or pretend nothing happened?
  • Will we wish to respect and cultivate a new way of being upon the planet?
  • Or ignore all the valuable insights we have gained?

What if, we did not “return to normal,” instead we decide to co-create a “fresh new start.” A way of living upon this planet which sets it up to thrive for generations to come…

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Genuine Authenticity…

As I sit here in my “pretend treehouse” I joyously welcome the exquisite symphony of the surrounding trees. They undulate with an unspoken acceptance. I am mesmerized by the dancing blossoms before me, they remind me of the miracle that life continues, that beauty is continually birthed, even in adversity. The water on the pond churns, it acquiesces to the commitment of the wind to create change. Dancing clouds flirt across the canvas before me, tantalizing me with their weightless freedom.

A delicate white petal floats down upon my hand as my fingers strike the keyboard. It invites me to notice, to honor its delicate babylike softness, its sophisticated pure whiteness that only nature can create. I sit wrapped in this minuscule bubble, a tiny air droplet in a far-reaching galactic universe. Gratitude is my blood flow today, it courses through my body like a wild fire on a dry prairie.

My mind has behaved like a squirrel, hopping from one curious topic to another. The human programmed part of me has been interrupting the merry romp, enticing me to be “productive.” Ha, laughs my jolly trickster soul, today is for merriment, for disappearing on the wind currents with curiosity and imagination.

The acorn which has held my squirrel mind with intrigue today is the pondering of authenticity. Genuine authenticity. The kind that makes you feel instantly connected to another, opens your heart with trust and imbues you with a sense of seeing while being seen.

As we sit suspended by this rare virus eruption, the deluge of information is raining down in torrential proportions. I find myself actually shaking my head in sad disbelief at how quickly marketers have snatched up the COVID-19 mantra to make a new sale. To play upon the human psyche like a parasite chewing on the raw flesh of its host.

Now I must also sing out praise for the marketers, businesses and sites that offer the contradiction. In their song I hear a heartfelt desire to ease the fears, calm the worry and extend an encouraging invitation to have faith.

Within us lies the knowing, the interconnected intuition that discerns to light a path…

We are such delightful creatures, free to sponge up whatever we put our focus upon. How do we decipher in such strange times the mouth that serenades our hearts and souls versus the mouth that tears us apart, injecting fear venom or draining the coffers of our livelihood?

Again, as I have typed before, I marvel at the technicolor paradox that humans co-create. Think about it, or actually feel into it. Why during a time of such global vulnerable uncertainty would any human decide to propagate information that is harmful, that expands the pandemic from the lungs into the brain washing nervous system. Perhaps, it is an opportunity for us to grow our discerning muscles, to choose where we shall share our time and energy. A time for us to endow the heart and soul with more power, so that we can translate for our brain what is genuine authenticity.

The human internal starship, burst with truth, aching to blossom…

As the tree ripples before me with its ample blossoms, I can sense its eternal trust in the wind. The unseen deep roots know that at times there will be pain, there may even be death. However, it surrenders to the faithful wind, for they need each other, they are interconnected, integral pieces of a tapestry that spins in an expansive galaxy.

As you find yourself besieged with “information” and new advertisements, feel within for the truth, is this an authentic source? Does it offer genuine information or helpful service? Or is it trying to breed with your already sprouted fears, worries and stress?

Personally, I am doing reps to improve my discerning muscle for genuine authenticity…

Within us resides the bona fide lie detector, listen, you will hear…

On this day to never be again, I wish you and yours peace, health, happiness and faith….

In heartfelt gratitude, Fawn

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Wait or BE???…

During this unique time in our world I hear and read everywhere the desire to return to normal. It’s as though people are holding their breath because the air presently available is foul and encroaching on life as we know it.

As I lay in bed last night, watching the bright moon glow, I found myself contemplating,

  • Why are we waiting?
  • Why do we want to return to what was?
  • What if there is actually a new world that awaits us with positive changes?
  • What if this is a rare opportunity not a curse?

I do experience that people enjoy a routine. They like familiar and predictable. I am guilty of liking some simple routines myself, such as journaling every morning, the way I have started my day for over thirty years. I also relish my warm cup of Jasmine Green tea that accompanies my pen and paper in the quiet dawning. I love walking in the grace and splendor of the natural world, to feel my body flow with the rhythm of nature’s song. Yes, I have my daily pleasures that make my heart smile…

I can honestly say though, that I often query with my heart, soul and mind – “Does this daily habit serve me? Is it helping me to co-create a more joyful expansive life?” If that search uncovers that I am doing it for others, because I “should” (yuck), or to meet some outside expectation that I do not care about, then I stop and let it go. This is a constant dance of reflective exploring, an aspect of life that morphs as I grow.

As I journaled this morning, it struck me like a lightning bolt – “What if it is not about WAITING! Instead, it is a glorious chance to learn how to BE. Maybe for the first time in your life you get to just BE. Feeling into the rich expansive layers of who you are. Taking this time to explore the nooks and crannies of your intimate heart, soul, and quieted mind.

We can only hear our personal song, when we listen…

Throughout my life journey most of the people I meet do not want to sit in their own quiet. They do not want to be still, to hear the silence, feel their own heartbeat. When I broach the subject of just BEing, I am jolted by the fear and discomfort that presents itself. This saddens me, for only in the quiet space can the inner self have a chance to bubble up, the unexplored dreams surface and the hidden desires show up in technicolor.

Yesterday on my walk, I sat by the river watching freshly released seed pods float by, like watching the flames of a campfire, I was transfixed by their tango upon the water. A pair of osprey serenaded, dancing upon the wind currents of a cloudless azure sky. To complete the perfect setting, vivid green willow buds burst upon the exquisite scene. I welcomed the serenity, breathing it in with momentous gratitude. I allowed myself to float in the sweet reverie, grateful to Just BE…

Today I invite you to BE, allow yourself the grace to feel, breathe deep, listen to your inner being, ponder the thoughts that drift up out of the quiet internal space.

Of course as we know, it is always your choice. You can WAIT, hoping for change, expanding the sensation of frustration and worry OR you can open up to feel into the NOW moment, content to Just BE.

What if this time is not about Waiting, instead it is an offer to BE???…

I joyously announce that today I OPEN and SHARE the fiction writing side of me :-). Beware, it is an ongoing tale… Click to join me – “The Inner Being Quest, Your Personal Journey Home…”

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Precipice of Time…

Her eyes sparkle with joyful trust, her feet skip with abandoned freedom, her voice rises with no apology and her hands reach for the dust that dances with her in the glittering sunlight. She is free and wild an ecstatic expression of the bliss which always is…

Her face was lined from years of living. Her eyes danced, bursting with memories etched like fireworks on a dark night. Her smile beckoned one to sit and listen. Her legs no longer danced, they lay bent and disfigured on the bed with raw open bed sores seeping at her hip joints. Her vibrant spirit encircled you the moment you stepped into her space, there was no victim in this room, no woe is me, instead one was greeted with dynamic passion, simple happiness, and a peacefulness that gently kissed you on the cheek. 

Who are the “her’s” I speak of? The first is me, dancing in my childhood living room, chasing the sun dust I stirred up with my exuberant joy. The second “her” is a divine woman I was blessed to care for in a nursing home years ago. Her aliveness, grace, peace, and love still dance in my memory. She and others I cared for knew a truth, as did the child in me. 

What did they know?

  • They knew that happiness, love, peace and contentment always exist.
  • They knew that it did not exist in things outside themselves.
  • They knew that it was accessible in all moments.
  • They knew that no one could give it to them, yet they lovingly shared it.
  • They knew it was a choice.

The years and space between innocent curious childhood and the wisdom of one’s latter years is full of “shoulds”, “comparisons”, “judgments”, and the measuring of the self against a society often ruled through fear and distrust. I do not have to sit very long in a cafe before I can hear someone criticizing themselves or attacking someone else. Stories swirl around like the sound of the espresso machine, surging with blame, shame, hurt, victimhood and discontent. It breeds like the flies on the patio tables, snatching up every scrappy morsel to add fuel to why their life is so miserable. 

Why do humans choose this?

A question I have pondered since I was five years old.

  • Why do we let go of our passionate desires to instead choose to fly someone else’s kite?
  • Why do we slam the door on the pure potential of joy?
  • Why do we kick happiness to the curb, to welcome and invite stressful frustration?
  • Why do we say “have to” instead of “get to”?
  • Why do we choose going through our days and moments on auto-pilot, waiting for someone or something else to make us better?
  • Do we prefer to wait, to lie on our deathbed watching the autobiographical movie of regret?
  • Why do we look in the mirror with such self contempt, as young children we loved our reflection?

I ask all of this with curiosity and a desire to understand.

In my sophomore year of college I was blessed to work at an international daycare. Here I witnessed children from all over the world. They danced, played, laughed and cried, living their moments very presently. They saw the world as a frontier to be explored. I sensed that the older children were on the fringe of losing this curious wonderment for life. In their play I observed them mimicking adults, their eyes would change, their jaw would set tightly, their voices would take on a serious tone. The joy, spontaneity, compassion and kindness evaporated, leaving behind a robotic body, controlled by the “taught” mind. 

Three years after working in a daycare, I found myself working in a nursing home. Here I discovered the grace and vengeance of aging. I was gifted to share time with souls who lived a full passionate life and others who were embittered with regret. The extreme chasm between the two slapped me stingingly as I would leave one room to enter another. My heart and soul ached for those fighting their own shadow. They carried their anger and sadness like a suitcase loaded with boulders, burdening their final days. These souls expressed through pinches, punches, and verbal abuse while you assisted them to the toilet, shower or dining hall. Off the clock, I cherished the moments I got to sit and listen to the stories from those celebrating life. Stories of falling in love, having children, riding in a car for the first time and rising above struggle. Reflections of the gentle flow of seasons, years, experiences and the pure grace of a life lived fully. 

Precipice of time…

In my forties I found myself teaching language arts to junior high students. Here I witnessed the cross over in technicolor poignancy. A few young people desperately clung to their innocent pure belief that anything is possible, that one could reach for their dreams with unbridled passion. The majority of the students had given up, they did not dream, instead they chased visions of their future painted on the wall by parents and society. They swallowed hard the doses of expectations fed to them with the famous mantra, “When I have lots of money I will be happy, when I get my degree I will be happy, when I buy a house I will be happy, when I marry I will be happy, WHEN I… I will then be HAPPY”

Ironically the joke is on us, for much of life is lived between the wild child and the wise elder. Thus I am forever grateful for the life altering gift of witnessing snapshots of age through my diverse professional life. They have  graced me with an awareness and microscopic view that life is really just a brief sojourn. A brief interlude to experience as I choose. 

Today I watch the sun dust with the pure delight of my four year old wonderment, I dance with unlimited joy, for I am not young, nor old, I am in between, kissing each with gratitude for their wisdom. 

Today I invite you to join me, breathe deeply into the child you once were before life manipulated you. 

Today I encourage you to take back the string to your own kite, feel it dance freely upon the wind. 

I wrote this piece originally over a year ago, today it whispered at me, beckoning me to share in this time of change upon our planet. We all sit unexpectedly in a space of suspended uncertainty. As we float between what was and what is becoming, we are being graced with a crystal ball that plays scenes from childhood, while positioning the paint brush towards a canvas of our elder years. Posed on a precipice, can you hear the whispers of grace and freedom? Or do you cling to the chaos of fear?

The wise gentle elders I was blessed to care for no longer inhabit this plane, yet the way they embraced their journey is written in permanent marker on my heart, soul, and mind. I shall not lie on the bed sores of life embittered and shriveled, I shall dance vibrantly in the sparkling company of dust particles…

If you ache for some soothing quiet, please enjoy some of my recorded guided meditations at – “Dawn with Fawn” on YouTube channel or read more at The Beingness Project.

In the quiet stillness lies the grace for more….
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Aftershocks of Uncertainty…

Guess What?… Uncertainty struck! It showed up with earth shaking realism!

And it continues… Idaho has experienced 37 aftershocks following the 6.5 magnitude that rattled everything last evening. According to the National Weather Service it was the second largest earthquake in the world for March 2020.

One would say, be careful what you say, type, or think, for you might get a real life example.

When I look in my review mirror, it is dotted with such moments. All in their own “glory” and unexpectedness. When I sit with those life experiences, really feeling into them and exploring their “aftershocks”, I am humbled, for they all lead to what comes next. More powerfully they have sculpted who I am today. Chiseling out the aspects of myself that did not serve or fit my new expansion.

This time in our world with COVID – 19 is another such opportunity. It is having many aftershocks for us to see and personally know, each and everyone of us is being hit by its quake in some form.

What will we choose to do with the experience?

  • Will you go back to life as it was?
  • Will you start out being more thoughtful and reflective in your daily choices, only to shift back to your norm?
  • Will your children, family, friends have the same memories as you?
  • During your “stay at home” time did you “numb out”, distract yourself, or embark on a new “self-love” behavior and habit?
  • Did you take this opportunity to make changes?
  • Did you reach out and connect with others?
  • Will you go back to the job you hate or did you work on your resume, determined to create change?
  • Did you learn to appreciate what you have or continue to take it for granted?
  • And….

I think the thing that always baffles me is why do we “need a wake up call” to create change? Why do people not take action steps daily towards their dreams?

This time has gifted me with the opportunity to reflect more deeply. I can honestly say that I have never truly given up, despite unexpected derailments and intense uncertain times, I have never fully given up. I still have three dreams that intertwine to co-create the life I intend to live.

They are in process, they are becoming, they are a part of who I am….

I am at choice to enjoy the journey along the way or get frustrated because it has not fully happened yet. Which sounds more fun to you? Personally I prefer the first, for I do respect, honor and know that life is absolutely splattered with Uncertainty! So, I choose to aim my rudder towards my desired destination, celebrating that there will be moments when it is a wild ride (here are a couple of those opportunities). I hang on with a sense of adventure, vulnerable openness and joy for the present moment.

What aftershocks will this time offer you?

  • Will you be a passive apathetic bystander?
  • Will you take action towards your dreams?
  • Will you reach out?
  • Will you embark on a new journey?
  • Will you cradle with gratitude the blessings in your life?
  • Will you empathetically honor and assist those most intimately struck by this virus?
  • ???

I have grown to understand that some of the most profound changes in life happen over time with small simple daily action. We do not have to have an earthquake, tsunami, or pandemic to create change in our life, we just have to Choose to step, “putting one foot in front of the other…”

The song says it all…

On that note, I wish you well on this glorious day, that shall never be again...

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Uncertainty is the Truth…

The title of my blog site is “Walking Naked Truth”, if you check out the “About” page you will get an in depth explanation of this title. In today’s writing I come to the page wishing to embody and present the “naked truth”, so we may “walk” towards that which we fear and face it.

Facing our fears puts them into the light, so we can see the truth…

At this unusual time in our history there is an increased sensation of fear, worry and stress as I discussed in my other blog site – “The Beingness Project”. Where do these feelings bubble up from, why are they on the rise, paralleling the numbers of COVID-19 diagnosed cases? 

It has been my experience in this life journey that humans have this belief that they can control. That they are in control. That they “make things happen” and “make things stop”. I marvel at this belief and unspoken desire to force the flow, versus be in the flow. 

The raw truth, everything is always “Uncertain” and actually “out of our control”. We merely choose to steer the rudder, or attempt to push life the direction we want it to go. Often there is this feeling or belief that we are making it happen. Is this true? Let’s explore it.

If –

  • Someone in your family moves away, gets sick or changes an aspect of their life, does that impact you? 
  • A tornado spins through your town, does that change life? 
  • Your boss lets you go, does that impact your present reality?
  • You win or inherit a million dollars, does that create change in your life?
  • Your child falls and breaks a leg, will this change daily life for you?
  • You birth a healthy baby into your life, will life stay the same or be in your control?

You know that I can go on and on and on, for the truth is, one never knows. Often we are blessed to have life flow along as we “think it should”, keeping us in a state of belief that we have it all under control. In a mere second it could all change. 

The road before us may look straight, however, it is often full of unexpected curves…

Here is the glorious freedom in accepting that life is a journey of “Uncertainty” , you ALWAYS have the opportunity to CHOOSE how you will react. No matter what is happening, unfolding, or becoming you get to choose how you will BE in that moment. You are also at choice with how you will feel as you decide what you want to do next, create, have, etc… (Explore this more deeply in a previous post)

COVID – 19 has us all staring down the barrel of uncertainty. Sitting deeply in the truth that something we cannot see is actually in control. We can choose fear, we can choose worry, we can choose to be stressed. However, I prefer to choose quiet reflective calm. Breathing into the truth that I can choose how I want to feel right here, right now. (Here is a worksheet for you to play with). I know I cannot change the virus. I know I cannot personally cure it. I know what I can do to support my family. I know what I can do to help others to the best of my ability. I know that it will CHANGE, another given truth. Change is always taking place.

I personally like to look at what I fear, worry about, or allow to stress me out, for as I truly notice and investigate, I quickly discover that in truth “I am okay”. As I calm down and breathe more deeply into BEing okay, I can more easily explore the deeper cause of my concern. In doing this I then realize that by letting go with trust and doing the best I can, the vulnerable open space I step into puts me back into the natural flow of life. I stop trying to swim upstream and force the tide. (See relevant post regarding 2009, when I did “lose” everything)

In choosing to be still and breathe deeply we can feel into our truth, thus setting ourselves free..

I invite you, I invite all of us, to breathe deeply. To look at “uncertainty” with the realization that it is not just now that this is the truth, but always. Then we can breathe more deeply into the space with gratitude, for this means we can let go and choose how we want to feel right now. Walking with acceptance and inner knowing that life is an uncertain journey, we empower and accept each individual unique path. There will be bumps along the way, some may even change life drastically, yet, each person is at choice to choose how they want to feel in the NOW moment. 

I believe it is a gift to experience the spectrum of emotions we are given as a human – joy, sad, loss, happy, anger, excitement, anticipation, concern, doubt, fear, love, grace, worry, peace, etc… I like to recognize and feel the diversity of emotions life offers me. I get to honor them and reflect on why I am feeling that way, what I want to do with it and if I wish to change it. If I allow it all to flow, versus holding onto the emotion, stuffing it, or blaming someone else, then I am calmly free to move into what I want to experience and maybe even learn from the process. The power I have is in CHOOSING how I will react and BE in the life experience that is always unfolding and becoming.

Open your arms to the flow of life, it may. surprise you with its magnificence…

At this time in history we are being given a chance to see, feel and understand ourselves more deeply. Life is uncertain. I think it would be a very boring journey if we could control everything. Uncertainty stimulates a journey, an adventure to learn, grow and expand into what comes next. Uncertainty is an empowering bridge to a life of choice. It gifts us with opportunities to practice choosing how we want to feel and BE.

So lets look at Uncertainty with Naked Truth and Walk forward into the flow of life –

  • How do you want to feel?
  • What about this pandemic worries you the most?
  • Can you look straight at that worry/fear?
  • When you look at it from your heart and not your mind (turn off the news), does it shift?
  • Do you like how fear, stress or worry feel?
  • What do you prefer to feel?
  • What can you think about that will shift you into your preferred state of BEing? (download previous mentioned worksheet to play with this)

I wish for all the freedom that comes with accepting uncertainty as a friend and ally. Freeing the internal self from the strangling worry, fear and stress.

Freedom is a state of BEing, one that comes from within…

Until next time, take special care of you, for only when you are well can you then serve others. 

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Visions of a Younger Self…

I sat straight up in the small wooden chair. It reminded me an old childhood school chair. The room was empty, could I actually call it a room, for there were no walls and it went on forever. The space was just vast endless blue gray light. Only me and my chair. “Where was I? Why was I here? How do I escape?” I felt weighted down in the chair, my legs unresponsive to my minds tingling panic. I encouraged myself to calm down, to breathe, to trust and let go of fear.

Like a gigantic movie screen the space in front of me lit up with a life sized scene. It was me. Dressed in my favorite blue and red jeans with flowing light blue blouse speckled with daisies. My hair was blowing in every direction, encircling my young face and my feet as always were dirty with no shoes. The six ye