The one thing that is for sure, change occurs. It is a part of everything. Everyday there is change. Seasons, aging, growing, learning, experiencing, building, expansion… If we embrace this truth, we free ourselves to enjoy, relax and let go of the need to control.
If you are a parent, would you ever wish to stop your child’s expansion into adulthood? As a child once yourself, would you have wanted your parents to control your becoming? From birth we are changing. We can fight it or embrace it with joy, knowing it is a part of life.
As I look in the mirror seeing the gray hair, the smile lines, the change in my skin, teeth, body, I am at choice to LOVE what I see, celebrating the grace and gifts of aging – or – I can fight it, hide it, color and mask it. Why? Who do I deceive in this denial?
I personally love watching the seasons flow. Each season has such unique expressions. There is continual change from one day to the next. The ducklings become adult ducks. The leaves and blossoms arrive to cycle into death and back again. Even in places where the seasons do not shift, there is change, nature is perpetually morphing.
Today what if you accepted the Truth that life is full of Change? What if you not only embraced this reality, you actually chose to celebrate it. How would such a shift impact your life? Would you stop worrying, stop trying to control, relax and allow?
People change, thus relationships change… Jobs shift and adapt to what comes next… Everyone exists on the timeline of life, aging is a part of the journey… Your life adventure infuses you with new understandings, growth, discoveries, lessons and glorious experiences – how fun to embrace with Truthful knowing that you are Changed by all of it.
I am one who embraces change with curiosity, openness, trust and faith. As I flow with Change, I am free.
Today’s Walking Naked Truth Practice:
Today notice your reactions to change. As you notice, decide if you want to react like a victim or celebrate with trust.
Begin to become aware of how “fighting change” has impacted your life.
If one was to look through the lens of the artist, what would the canvases of your life look like? Would they express and share your truth? Or would they be a mirage, a glorified fantasy to make others feel comfortable?
Let’s get sincerely truthful here – YOU are the Artist of your life.
Each and every day YOU put the colors upon your fresh canvas. YOU hold the magic paintbrush that allows others to be a part of the scene or not. YOU elect what will imbue with infiniteness upon the canvas, or smudge off to disappear.
I am daily amazed at how many people choose to carry around a multitude of canvases, sharing with others the stories that burden, limit, and hinder their life. They allow the paints of blame and shame to smear onto the new canvas, creating again the lines you think you must color within.
What if today YOU allowed yourself to see the canvas as clear and clean of all past debris? What if YOU chose to get out all the colors? Then, what if YOU selected what would be on the canvas and what would not?
Can YOU BE your TRUTH upon the canvas? Can YOU allow yourself to explore the exquisite artist palette of life, free of worry, fear, denial, judgment, criticism and expectation? Can YOU allow yourself to be passionately creative?
I invite you to imagine, what would your unique vibrant TRUTH look like upon the free space of your life canvas. Today’s canvas is only here once. Yesterday’s canvas is complete. Tomorrows has yet to arrive. Only today in all your sweet moments can the rich hues, colors, depth and expression present itself. At the end of the day, you will lay your paintbrush down to rest, clearing it of all residue, so it is fresh for a new day.
YOU are the Artist of your life. I challenge you with a joyful smile to paint your TRUTH. To express upon your canvas today the raw, vulnerable, real you – from inside out.
What will the Art Gallery of YOUR life look like….?
I am freely and joyfully the artist of my life, expressing with truth, love and passion upon the canvas of my life.
Today’s Walking Naked Truth Practice:
Today carry with you a piece of paper where you write down the things you experience and feel that you want to paint on your canvas. Be clear with the TRUTH that you have CHOICE, do not put down things that you do not wish to perpetuate or put into more permanent existence.
Play with this, maybe you cover the page with words, little images, perhaps you jot down feelings, whatever will help you to remember what shall be painted on your unique canvas for this day.
At the end of the day look at your paper canvas – absorb the awareness that YOU are the Artist. YOU have Choice as to what goes onto your artistic expression of life.
My sincere apologies for not posting in awhile. I took my BEingness on a little road trip with my daughter to share time with my sister (visiting from Turkey) and my mom (visiting from Virginia). During this precious connection time, I allowed myself the grace to BE completely present.
The thirteen hour drive there and back gave me time to reflect, explore and ponder what I felt truly served this space. What do I wish to share, why and how? What best serves those who take the time to come to the page? What does the world need? What do I offer?
When you allow yourself the grace to BE completely present, all pressure washes away. It is a glorious space, for it opens up an awareness to the suspension of time. I personally find myself observing the chaotic buzz which goes on around. People racing here, there, everywhere. Supposedly on a mission to “Do this or that”, to get things done, to make money, to accomplish tasks, to…. It’s like standing in the center of a beehive watching it all come an go with such ferocious intensity.
I enjoy this space for it offers me perspective, reminds me of what is important and pushes me to let go. Like a dog who has the amazing ability to always be present, I joyfully soak in the moments with loving gratitude.
The time away allowed me the opportunity to observe people in their busy world, to investigate how I might serve them more to BE. Sharing the “stopped moment in time” when they honor themselves. The gentle reminder that a deep breath in complete presence shifts everything.
From my place of observation I felt ideas circulating and stirring. Following some quiet meditation time and journaling a new format for sharing with you birthed itself. I am excited to create this new offering and experience.
It shall honor your busy schedule, while offering the gift to slow down for just a little bit, to care for the self. I humbly thank you for your patience as I revamp this blog to serve more sincerely the needs I hear from you.
May you gift yourself today with an awareness for how amazing you truly are, breathing in the magnificence of BEing alive to experience all that is. May your heart expand into the pure grace of BEing Enough Always….
The other day someone asked for clarification, “What does BEingness feel like? How will I know that I am in that space?” Great question!
Just like everything in life, the sensation, feeling, and experience of something is individualistic. Each person comes with their own unique wiring, life journey and delightful matrix blend.
So, I can only describe BEingness from my perspective.
BEingness for me is:
A sensation of infinite expansiveness where love vibrates continuously.
A suspension of time, as though everything slows downs, comes to a standstill, allowing me to center.
A rising sensation of joy, bringing a natural smile to my face and a releasing of all man-made burdens.
A feeling of BEing quietly in the flow of all that is, no separation, no judgment, no DO, just BE.
An inner knowing that everything is working out, that all is happening for me.
A space free of ALL doubt, fear, loss, hurt, worry, judgment, criticism.
A luscious space where you just know that life is a dance, a gift, a way to explore more.
A sensation that knows anything is possible.
It is a vibrational energy that frees me to hear and make decisions from a place of love, creativity, passion and joy.
Ultimately an indescribable space that is difficult to articulate, yet I dream of everyone experiencing its pure freedom and grace.
How do I know I am in that space?:
I am free of Reactionary behavior.
I do NOT feel worry, fear, doubt, judgment, criticism or that I HAVE to DO something, for I am already Enough, Worthy and Perfect as I AM..
I feel relaxed, joyful, peaceful and content.
The outside world does not impact me, I can view the chaos, hear the negativity, yet I do not react.
Time disappears, for I am in a flow of creativity and sharing.
I am not bothered by people’s choices to suffer, play victim, stay stuck, I instead vibrate in an infinite space of love, forgiveness and grace.
There is a deep stillness within, no matter what is going on around me.
BEingness is a sensation, space, way of BEing that I wish for everyone. It frees up the monkey mind to relax back into a knowing that all is working out.
Check out the The Beingness Project for some ways to begin the journey home to BEingness. Start a simple meditation practice, to open yourself to more. Below is a simple guided meditation I created for you.
May today be a day of flowing love, grace, peace and joy for you….
Today at The BEingness Project I begin to explore the simple awareness of BEingness in everyday life. Noticing how we interact and react in our daily interactions can shift everything. Small daily practices can move you out of a Reactionary life and into a life of BEingness – a life of Choice.
Yesterday I posted a very full Vlog on The Beingness Project; it reflected and explored the last 2 months. I invite you to take a peek, it has some fun offerings for your spirit, body and mind.
I find great humor everyday in how people “Want it NOW”with regard to peace of mind, joyful living, healthy body, financial security, successful relationship, etc… Yet they are not willing to look at their present moment. Each moment compounds upon the next, so the daily choice of how we are BEing in our moments affects and compounds to create the life we live.
If you have been building up the Stress, Anxiety, Depression, Unhealthy Body, and Victim muscle for years, YOU will have to focus on Making Different Choices moment by moment. In time you will shift from the Old Stories to a new space of BEingness. Now here is a powerful truth – it could ALL change NOW – however that means you are going to have to CHOOSE to BE NOW and NOW and NOW and… you get the idea. So, it is likely not going to happen overnight, for you have been practicing how NOT to BE for most of your life. When you were a young baby and child you intrinsically knew how to BE – you exuded joy, love, playfulness and BEing present.
Today in The Beingness Project I posted a brief sharing on “Why BEingness” – looking at statistics regarding our expanding chaotic world. I am completely perplexed sometimes on why people Choose to live such stressful Reactionary lives. There is a Choice! Why would one not wish for a more peaceful, joyful, loving, vibrant life. I know we are taught it is outside of us – yet every religion and spiritual teaching informs us – it is INSIDE of US.
Can you gift yourself this week with some daily choice to honor your BEingness?
Can you give yourself the time to BE, feeling your inner truth?
Can you STOP Reacting and Start BEing one moment at a time?
In today’s BEingness Project Vlog, I list some ways you can begin to shift into BEing. Below is a simple meditation to help you get started.
I invite you to comment, message or email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) with your daily struggles. Let’s explore together how we can shift from Reaction to BEing – seeing how BEingness applies to daily situations, helps to unravel the stress, worry, fear and chaos. I am excited to share how wonderful BEingness feels.
Thank you for joining me today. May all your moments flow with grace… Fawn
I have been quiet for a few days now, exploring the nagging feelings about this blog, my Vlog site (The Beingness Project) and my Youtube channel. It is imperative to me that I am congruent with my inner self. That I Walk my Naked Truth in all ways; coming to this page with pure intention, presence and free of all agenda.
Why do I come to the page, first because writing is a part of who I am. The pen at the end of my hand and the flow of ink onto the page has been a part of me like the inhale and exhale of life. It gives me immense joy and infinite expansiveness to move into the flow of words.
I come to the page secondly, because I wish for all people to feel the awe, joy and love of BEING. To dance within the luscious space of fluid contentment, infinite peace and sensual joy. It is a space we intuitively know as a child. We eagerly explore, look with curious delight and express with abandoned wonderment. As the open child we feel everything that comes up, we let it flow, express, BE. Then this raw naked expression is squelched, judged and criticized. Taught to be controlled, denied and ignored.
I recently perused some of my first blog entries from four years ago (read here), smiling in gratitude at the pictures of my children who were still shorter than I. What a marvelous journey we have shared, what glorious rich lessons life has graced us with. WOW! Life is a very dynamic colorful tapestry.
Today, most people have stopped reading this by now, for it is too long, takes too much time, interrupts the “To Do List” and does not “FIX” things. I sit still within my quiet fishbowl, looking out at the chaotic world around me. Everyone is DOING, going forth to conquer their life. Suppressing and denying themselves the grandest gift of all, to BE present. To truly EXPERIENCE the inexhaustible sensations and nuances of a vibrant engaged life.
So, why do I write? Why this blog? Why “The Beingness Project”? They are all an invitation to YOU, to come home to your Naked Truth, To BE. You do not need to Fix Yourself, for You are already Enough, Worthy and Perfect. All you have to do is remember how to BE present in ALL your moments. Then life begins to blossom in magnanomous grace.
This blog “Walking Naked Truth”, “The Beingness Project Vlog” and “Youtube channel“ exist to help you awaken and remember your joyful, vibrant, loving self. Each of us lost this natural state in our Domestication process, replacing genuine curiosity with judgmental distrust. Losing our sense of playfulness to proper ways of expression based on our societal, cultural and family Expectations.
My recent struggle has been to stay TRUE to me. To BE Authentic and Congruent with my values, ethics and desires. There are many people I respect, admire and look to for inspiration, teaching, lessons, etc… However at this time in our world, what I experience is an excruciating bombardment of sh** in my email in box, my Facebook page and Instagram site. The introvert in me wants to UNPLUG it all, run away and hide. At the same time I love that I get to learn from those I admire with the ease of a Google search. So.., what is the balance?
Everyone I have thus far turned to for learning how to make a living from my expertise says I must:
post frequently (I like this one)
send consistent emails to my followers
push myself on social media so I gain more followers
push, push, push through this format or another!!
focus on using certain SEO words/triggers to be found
While I understand the need for such action (I did study business in college) and can see how it works (funnels, channel, spread), I cannot do it and feel good. My sharing is about BEing. My message is to BE. To re-discover that space within you that is already happy, peaceful, loving and excited about life. To help you remember how amazing you are just by BEing YOU. To reunite you with that infinite space of acceptance, grace and love.
After four days of deep inner exploration I have found my peaceful truth. I cannot bombard your email box, I will not nag you with ads. I AM HERE if you desire to journey with me. My gift to the world has always been to BE the safe loving place. Thus this page must reflect the essence of BEing, offering tools to help you on that journey back home to your inner magnificence.
I shall offer meditations, videos, worksheets and written exploration. You are free to Follow me or check in as you desire. Your free will gets to decide if you will engage to peel back the layers of your masks to joyfully reacquaint yourself with your natural state of BEingness.
It is my dream that all who seek shall come home to the unlimited jubilance of a life immersed in BEING. Absorbing its expansive loving peaceful contentment. It is a space that once fully remembered always beckons you back into its free flow.
This blog and the other stuff I share is a delightful exploration of Surrender. To let go and trust that if it is meant to serve, it shall grow and become thanks to those who hear its message and resonate with its truth. A test to see if people are so numbed that they cannot notice or take action to spread a way of BEing. I am blessed to come to the page free of all Expectations, to share from a pure state of BEing, for only then will you experience how life is happening for you, inviting you to remember the joy of laughter, the fun of dancing, the inspiration of music, the love of self and others…
I thank you for joining me. I thank you for Being YOU. I thank you for all the ways you grace the world with your unique magnificence. I thank you for sharing.
In Joyful Humble Gratitude,
Life Artist and Dancer
Do you ever feel like you are constantly climbing the mountain of life?
Do you find yourself just craving a day where you do nothing?
Are you tired, stressed and wondering where the joy of life went?
I have often had moments where I felt each and everyone one of the above emotions. Wondering how I might eek out another minute in the day, just so I can get one more thing off my “To-do” list.
Thankfully over the years, I have learned the power of letting go. The peace experienced through Surrendered knowing that life is unfolding and becoming perfectly. I have played a game to see which way of life actually manifests and creates more.
The go, go, go, do, do, do way of life I was Domesticated and taught to live.
The Surrender with trust, while taking action steps towards my desires.
While I know from experience which works and feels better, I sometimes still fall back into the negative behavior of trying to force life to become, creating much stress and frustration.
Without a doubt, when I relax, to let go of “how it has to look and when it must happen”, everything just falls into place. Giving me the powerful reminder of how it feels to enjoy the evolution of life through Surrendered action.
When we constrict our body, mind and spirit through stress, worry, fear and struggle, there is no space for creative ideas. Answers struggle to surface in such turbulence. It has been my experience that when we make decisions or take action while in a stressful negative space, they do not tend to work out.
I have learned the hard way to not make decisions when I am in a stressed, fearful or worried space. Sometimes this is very challenging, for the ingrained teachings and judgments run deep. However, by simply slowing down, practicing NBC (Notice, Breathe, Choose), and giving myself space, the answer I seek arrives with great ease.
When I am wise enough to trust and relax into Surrender the path lights up with such clarity. It makes me smile and giggle at how easy it can truly be. I wish for every person this visceral experience, for it is so freeing and empowering. In a world being crippled by the impacts of stress, it may be time for us all to learn the fine art of Surrender.
One of the most powerful gifts I have ever given myself is the time to meditate. There are many ways to meditate and hundreds of resources to explore what works for you. I started meditating without knowing what I was doing when I was about 5 years old. Throughout my life it is where I turn to remember and touch the truth of Who I Truly Am…
As the years have zoomed by, meditation has ebbed and flowed in my life. As I started my previous business in 2009, I began to incorporate it into my work with clients. Utilizing the vibrational elements of it when I shared energy work. In my present business, The Beingness Project, meditation has become an integral part of the sharing.
About two years ago I discovered that once I was in the meditative space, it guided me. I was no longer Fawn Caveney in meditation, I was an energy, with words and images flowing through. The words and images are not mine, they come from an infinite energetic vibrational space. As I work one on one with clients I often find myself gifted to experience their images and feelings; together we are guided by this enlightened vibrational energy.
Recently I took the leap of faith to share the channeled guided meditations on my Youtube channel. I humbly invite whoever feels called to enjoy the journey they offer. Below is one of these meditations, for you to check out.
I would love to hear about your meditation experiences. I also welcome any feedback, suggestions and comments, for I am just learning how to record and share these meditations (still have lots to learn with technology).
May your day be full of joy, peace, love, and expansive Surrender.
One of the ways we can empower ourselves is to set aside time each day to just BE. Shutting out the chaotic world, relaxing and opening up to the magnanimous creative energy that resides within. Taking the time to honor that we are more than our DOing in life.
I have joyfully begun to share my “channeled” meditations on Youtube – The Beingness Project – “Dawn with Fawn”. While I have enjoyed sharing these channeled guided meditations with clients and classes for years, I have been shy to share them further. Finally this week I took the brave leap, swallowing my fears to Surrender with trust.
I go into these meditations with no agenda, expectation, or guideline. I allow whatever flows into me to express itself, taking whoever is with me and myself on a journey. I do not know how long they will be, or what shall be shared. Thus, I completely Surrender into the meditative state.
There are many ways to enjoy meditation. Have fun exploring the various techniques and ways to meditate. I invite you to try meditating for a month to see what powerful things you start to feel and experience.
Surrender is a word charged with many different reactions. It means to give up, to let someone else win, to stop fighting for, and yet it also graces us with the sweetest release, to open to the flow which aligns with our very Being.
When you look at the Dictionary definition of Surrender it makes one feel weak to Choosesuch action.
cease resistance to an enemy or opponent and submit to their authority. synonyms :capitulate, give in, give (oneself) up, yield, concede, submit, climb down, give way, defer, acquiesce, back down, cave in, relent, succumb, quit
The kind of Surrender I am referring to is best described as Spiritual Surrender – see article.
Sweet Surrender is the opportunity to stop swimming upstream against the flow of life. It is an invitation to enjoy the grace and flow of Being. To fall back into the arms of your own heart and soul. To let go of the judgments, limiting beliefs, self criticism and need to control life. There is so much missed along life’s magnanimous unfolding if we regulate everything.
Our creativity resides in the space of energetic flow, which becomes constricted and shut off when we are stressed or frustrated. Only in the freedom of Sweet Surrender can it rise, nudging you with inspiration. An artist, musician, athlete, dancer, writer, etc.., Surrender into the grace of flow, while simultaneously expressing through Inspired Action. It is a razors’ edge between that which is and that which is becoming through the paradox of Surrender.
Join me this week to explore Surrender, it will be a Spirit, Mind, and Body opening. Join us at The Beingness Project for more.
As we come to the close in our exploration of Transformation, I wish to share the magic bullet which truly awakens massive Transformation – Gratitude.
When we lean into the power of gratitude we open the flood gates to an infinite expansion into the sensational feelings of love, joy, abundance, peace, contentment…
Try this – it is a simple practice to get you started in the dance towards Gratitude.
When you feel yourself frustrated with someone or something, stop to notice.
Take in a nice slow breath, hold it, then exhale slowly.
As you exhale shift to Appreciation. What can you Appreciate in the now moment.
It does not have to be about the frustrating issue, it can be about something else when you start.
Continue to Appreciate, bringing it back to the subject at hand. Maybe you can Appreciate the person, the opportunity to learn, to practice letting go, to embrace your power of choice, to be open to hearing something different, etc…
As you Appreciate you will notice how quickly you shift out of Frustration and into a space of Gratitude.
There is always something you can find to be grateful for. You are still breathing. You have a physical body. There are people who care about you. Your pillow is soft and comfortable when you sleep. You are human and thus at choice. The list goes on and on and on.
I challenge you to put this philosophy to the test.
For the next 2-3 weeks wake everyday thinking about everything you are grateful for.
Then as you go to bed, do the same thing, it is one of the most delightful ways to drift off to sleep.
If you want to really ramp things up, write a list of at least 10 things you are grateful for everyday in a Gratitude Journal.
At the end of this time or during, let us know what you experience.
I have no doubt that amazing things shall begin to unfold and become for you. You will be in awe with how joy just seems to bubble up from within. You may find yourself inspired and surprised by the incredible serendipities that happen.
Can’t wait to hear about your Transformational journey with Gratitude!!
Transformation is always occurring, it reflects in the impermanence of our existence and all that we journey through. In your life of Choice, don’t you wish to empower your experience by Being an integral participant in your own transformation?
Join me this next week to explore and investigate the magnanimous power of Transformation!
In my last blog, I presented some of the opportunities life has gifted me with to explore Choice, to choose being a “victim” of my life story, or a “hero” lifted by gratitude.
Are you tired of hearing yourself tell the story about what “happened to you” AGAIN?
Are you ready to let go, surrender, forgive and thus open up space for more?
Do you prefer to repeat life patterns over and over and over again?
Do you enjoy being stuck in mediocrity and suffering?
Writing that last post was very difficult for me, I hear people say you have to share what you’ve come through, so people can relate. Yet, why? Why do I want to focus on that which was? Why would I not wish to live and celebrate in the here and now?
As I work with clients, and teach classes/workshops I am often shocked by how most people want to carry around their “sad story”. They choose to stay stuck between yesterday’s negative experience and today’s opportunity.
I wish for all people the pure Grace of Beingness! The Freedom, Peace, Joy, Expansive Gratitude and Playful Wonder of this space just makes me smile from within, creating a simple giggle.
I close today by asking you, “How do you want to journey life – stuck in your chosen suffering or dancing in the grace of Being?”It is Your Choice….
Today I challenge you, write down all the “stories” you have told over and over and over again while holding a negative emotion/energy.
Ask yourself if hanging onto this story serves you?
We shall explore more tomorrow.
If you Choose “Learning to Dance in the Grace of Beingness“, then continue to join me, for we shall explore more about Beingness and then next week dive into Transformation.
What has brought me to this page to write about “Beingness”? In the chaotic busy world we live in, it almost sounds backwards from what we are taught. “Just Do It” is the mantra, right?! The key word there being “DO”.
I respect and honor that life does requiring us “Doing”. However, I have learned the hard way, that if you do not first live from that place of “Being” the DO is like swimming against the tide in a hurricane.
Who am I to write such stuff, you may ask? How can I remotely know how challenging life can be?
Well, life has gifted me with many opportunities to vulnerably surrender into the pure grace of BEINGNESS. I’ve had so many opportunities to “give up”, feel like a failure and choose not “good enough”.
Here are a few of those cutting edge times (perhaps you will relate):
I watched my car get pulled away because I could not make the payments. Leaving me and my two young children with our walking feet and bikes for a year and a half (my daughter was in first grade, my son in fourth).
I closed the door to my home of sixteen years, as the mortgage company took possession, for I could not make the payments. This amazing home grew me up as a woman, witnessed the birth of my two children and graced me with solace and peace in the storms of life.
I have lost jobs without warning, leaving me with no way to provide for my children and self.
I have juggled working three jobs to make ends meet.
I’ve experienced having only a $1.76 to my name and wondering how I was going to feed my family and keep a roof over our head.
I went back to college full time in my forties, while working a job and raising my 6 year old daughter and 9 year old son. At this time we had no car.
We had to move in with an incredibly gracious family for five months. Three teenagers, three adults, one bathroom in 1800 square feet. My 16 year old son and I were roommates during this time, his bed rested less than two feet from mine.
I had every penny garnished from my bank account by a credit card company. The money was for rent, food, and living expenses for my children and self. It was ALL gone. Discovered this loss as I tried to pay for our groceries.
These are just a few of the times in my life where I was pushed up against the wall to make a Choice.
The pure state of “Beingness” is the loving grace that calls one home to a truth beyond verbal sharing. It is the infinite calm in the storm, the peace in the chaos, the light in the dark… In a world that teaches “Do”, I wish to help you remember and discover the empowering gift of “Being” – for it is the loving, peaceful center within the storm.
What an amazing week it has been to explore our Expectations. Now it is time to decide for yourself which Expectations serve you, creating more in your life and which ones burden you, limiting your growth and joy?
Life is a constant journey of becoming. If we notice, breathe into our personal awareness and then choose for OURSELVES we start to travel down the path that is uniquely our own.
What might you learn about yourself, your family and the world around you if you truly explored the Expectations that riddle your life?
If you were suddenly picked up and placed in the middle of a small village in Vietnam what would you witness that was different? What Personal Expectations about how people should live, might you face? What about how we should eat? What we should be doing? How we dress, communicate, the list goes on and on…
Now you are lifted and placed in the middle of Moscow, Russia. What might you struggle with here? Why? How do your Expectations that are wrapped up in your Domesticated upbringing impact how you adapt?
Next you are carried to the Al Haram Mosque, Mecca, in Saudi Arabia. What would you feel? Why? How much of what you feel is created by what you are taught, what you should EXPECT by being there?
Finally you find yourself dropped into a farm in the middle of Nebraska, in the United States. As you place yourself into the experience what do you now feel? Notice your physical, mental, and emotional reactions. Where do they come from? Why?
As you gift yourself with the awakening to your Domesticated Expectations the world becomes a much more friendly place, for we begin to understand that everyone is living from a place of “taught” ways to BE and DO. As a human BEING what might you discover if you explore the depths of your own desires and passions, setting yourself free from Expectations that do not serve your truth?
Why waste time exploring Expectations? Who cares? What does it matter?
I daily observe and witness the backlash of Expectations. Some are subtle, while others compound and intensify into something quite frustrating. As humans we tend to carry around the idea that people “get it”, of course they know what we want and how we want it, right!? Doesn’t everyone do it that way, want it that way? The truth – NO!!
We are all unique, raised in different homes, impacted by our own special families, brought up in a culture and way of thinking and believing that is exclusively our own. Therefore our Domesticated Expectations are individualistic in addition to those that we have chosen personally for our way of being.
Notice today as you walk around, how does someone in your office prefer their desk? Is it neat or cluttered? How do you drink your coffee versus your friend? Do you make your bed, but your partner never makes the bed? Are you one of those people that has the personal Expectation to work out everyday? Do you Expect people to open the door for you? Etc..??
Tomorrow we will dig into our assumptions around Expectations – the powerful boomerang effect that can have some really negative impacts. To prepare for that, think about how you do or do not communicate your Expectations. Do you Expect your family to know what you want, how and when? Do you Expect your partner to know certain things that you have never communicated? At work, do you assume that your boss and colleagues know how you feel and what you like/want?
As you more deeply explore and become acquainted with your relationship to Expectations (attaching worksheet here, just in case you missed it) you can empower yourself to make choices. Do your self-imposed Expectations serve you or not? Do they enhance your life experience? Create a sense of peace, expand love, spread joy, open up more, etc..? Or do they burden you? Limit your capacity to relax and enjoy? Impact your health and well being?
As you become aware of your sneaky Expectations, you will begin to understand how they can often cripple and harm your relationships and quality of life. Do not criticize yourself for any of them, for many came into your world through the Domestication process. An example might be – what is your Expectation for cleaning the space you live in? Your Expectation for who you should date, marry, share time with or even talk to? Your Expectation of what you should be wearing?
As I journey and keep vigilant awareness around my thoughts and choices, I notice that some Expectations have served me for years, such as my workout regime. However, like all things, our needs and desires morph, so it is important to adjust accordingly. Recently I have been exploring what is my “new” Desired Expectation with regard to working out. I no longer enjoy or wish to push myself in the gym as I once did, it does not serve my present desires and uses. Thus, I have been releasing my Expectation of how my workouts “should” be to readjust and adapt to where I am now. Whew, what a sweet gift it is to release such pressure and judgment.
All things in life change, transform and morph. Impermanence is a given. So what we once Expected from ourselves or others may not serve today as it did yesterday. Be open to the discovery that some Expectations have never served the TRUE Self. Have fun continuing to explore your Expectations, releasing those that do not serve to open the space to BE (check out The Beingness Project post for more).
I woke today in pure, sweet, quiet grace… I could feel the nag of the human doing-ness pull on my arm. I told it to wait, to allow me the joy of BEING. As I welcomed the layered stillness and coolness of a 3:00am morning, the precious time before the world gets crazy and the chaos begins, a question rose from within me – “Why?” “Why do you get up Fawn?” “What propels you to step into each day?” “Why do you go forth into this world day after day?” “What is your ultimate truthful WHY?”
Instead of brushing such a question aside, I sunk into its expansive grace. I allowed it to cradle me like a lover’s gentle warmth. As I breathed deeply into it, I smiled at the answer which always gurgles up with such beautiful clarity – to BE LOVE. If I swim in the vibrational energy of love, all personal and outside expectations slide away, like a raindrop releasing itself from a leaf.
Today I greet you with a question – What is your WHY?
If you release yourself from ALL personal and outside expectations, if you let go of ALL do, if you surrender into the luscious grace of BEING, what rises from within as your WHY to BE?
As you explore this question, you might ask yourself, is life driving me, or am I driving my life from my WHY of BEING?
This is a HUGE week, for Expectations impact our daily lives way more than we realize. While they are not “bad” per se, they often have very powerful impacts due to their quiet relationship with assumption. During our Domesticationprocess, we are taken from our innocent, open, non-judgmental babyhood, into our journey to become an adult. As we grow up we are bombarded from all angles with teachings and “ways to be”, that form our foundation of expectations.
Let’s do a simple comparison – a child born in China is raised culturally and societally very differently than a child born in the United States. Now let’s expand that difference even more, a child born in a small village in China versus a child born in New York City in the United States. If we then add on religion, school, and family, the layers of domesticated expectations are intensifying and expanding.
What gets harmful about expectations is the quiet dance it has with assumption. We assume that others know and understand our expectations, that we do not have to share them, or communicate what we expect. However, as I shared in the video, expectations can be subtle or prominent.
Some examples of prominent expectations are the societal, cultural and religious “rules”. Such as, you are expected to wear clothing in public, you drive on specific sides of the road, you eat with utensils or fingers in a distinct way depending on where you live in the world, you practice or take part in certain religious holidays or activities…. By now I think you get the idea, I could fill pages with the domesticated expectations we are groomed to live by.
The ones I want to explore this next week are the more subtle unspoken ones, for they directly impact our most important relationships. Again I must remind you that these expectations are taught and learned through our domesticated upbringing. The good news, we are at Choiceto hang onto our expectations or change them. Even better news, if we learn to communicate our expectations we change everything, freeing ourselves and others from the burden of assumption.