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It Did Work Out…

Latest Raw Authentic Musing

Click on Image at the bottom of blog for the continued adventure with Rita, Francine and the miraculous magazine. Who might find one next? How is it changing life’s? What is happening for Rita and Francine as they open and feel?

What dreams await your curious exploration? Don’t let them die within you….
  • I am curious, have you ever done something you thought was silly, yet you just had to do it? Your mind would not shut up until you did it?
  • Moved somewhere because the place would not stop haunting you?
  • Ever dreamed of experiencing something, thoughts of it flowing into your mind without invite?
  • Wanted to try another job or place – but let fear control you?

My time on San Juan Island, Washington at the polycultural farm was one such experience. I continue to be so grateful for that time and all I learned. Since my return to Boise, Idaho I have had many people say, “I’m so sorry it didn’t work out.” My response to this caring statement is “It did work out, perfectly.”

If we allow our soul to speak, it has such adventures, dreams and desires to share…

When did we learn to view our life through the lens of “Success or Failure?” Is not life an adventure full of twists, turns, spins, ups and downs? If I was always happy and satisfied, how would I know, if I did not have relevancy by feeling otherwise. If I saw everything I tried that I did not like or enjoy as a failure, would I not be teaching myself shame and fear?

How do we know, if we do not try?

When your child begins to walk and falls down, do you tell them they are a failure? When a friend embarks on a new relationship, do you tell them not to do it because it might not “work out?” When did we become so judgmental and afraid to try? We definitely were not born that way.

Why would anyone ever extinguish the mystery of life unfolding and becoming…..

Today I sit here smiling at another opportunity I am preparing to experience. I am excited and open to all it shall offer me. I have no idea if I will love it or not. If it will be right for me or not. What a thrill to go for it and try!!

As I shared in my last blog, I received the unexpected news that I get to move from the lovely pond sanctuary, opening the space back up for the family who owns it. The last few years have found me craving a small simple space where I walk or bike everywhere. A place that is easy to care for, thus giving me more time to write and pursue other things I find pleasure in.

I joyously get to move to such a space this next week – embarking on my next adventure in this life. Will I enjoy it or not? I don’t know. What I do know is that I will not know unless I try.

The space is teeny tiny (approximately 200 sq ft), full of charm, close to everything and perfect for this Writer to explore more.

We are here but a moment in time ~ why would we choose to limit the journey…?

When I visit with people asking about their passions, desires, wishes and dreams – I am often met with a surprised blank look. The words, “I don’t know,” often follow. Or, “I’ve never thought about it.”

I wonder, if we took away the judgment, comparison and shame, would more people go for it? Is not life about enjoying the journey? Being in the moments we never get back? Enjoying the sensations such an experience offer us?

Personally, I prefer to view my life as “It is always working out for me.” When I look back in the rearview mirror of my life, I smile, for it is miraculous how all the experiences are dots on a road map of this grand adventure. Each one could not exist without the one before it. Was it all fun? No. However, I would not trade any of it, for I would not be me, here today celebrating life’s next unfolding – I know it is working out for me.

This blog entry is an invitation.

  • Dream…
  • Explore…
  • Feel the inspired callings…
  • Let go of fear…
  • Leap with trust and love…
  • Go For it…
  • Live a life of NO regrets…
  • Carpe Diem…
  • All that is certain is uncertainty – thus the now moment is precious…
If you have been following Rita, Francine and the miracle magazine – click the image above.
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Unexpected News Generates Creativity and Adaptation…

The Beingness Project – Your Personal Journey Home – A novel invitation to remember who YOU are… Click on the title above to continue the journey with Rita, explore with her as she remembers what brings her joy. Meet Francine who begins to question what happiness truly is….

Take a peek at Today’s Raw Musings

The tide of life rolls in and out consistently, it never does so the same as yesterday or as it will tomorrow. Humanity mimics such grand diversity, expressing and unfolding ever on…

Yesterday I received some unexpected news that has stirred all kinds of emotions. First, I experienced the fear jolt when life presents something that means you must make a change. Then, after a few deep breaths of acceptance, I rolled into gratitude and faith. Life is inviting me into what comes next. Is the timing ideal, No. Do I know where I will go, No. Have I figured out how I shall make this move, No.

In quiet surrender we get to explore the unfolding of life’s adventure, our soul’s invitation into what comes next…

What I do know –

  • I am healthy, willing, creative and believe that life always works out.
  • My children are safe, well and joyfully on their path.
  • I have amazing friends and family.
  • I have experienced throughout life that things happen for a reason and sometimes we just get to be patient with trust.
  • I have joyously been simplifying my life and belongings for years now, so it is easier to adapt to life’s unexpected.
  • Life moves along with or without us, so I can choose to delight in the unknown or live in fear and worry. The latter is not fun or fulfilling.
  • I am a happy, strong soul that chooses to see life as a grand adventure, so this is an opportunity, an introduction into what comes next…

Now please know, I have my moments when I do feel the concern surface. When it does I notice it, accept it and then think about the real truth – I am okay and everything always works out.

So, what is this unexpected news? In a quick nutshell I must find a new place to live in 11 days. I sadly must leave the miraculous home I have been blessed to reside in for over four years. This space has been a gift beyond any words I can begin to express upon the page. I am truly excited that one of the owning family members is returning home. It will be very sweet for this beautiful home to wrap its arms around original family members again. My heart is joyous and overflowing with gratitude.

Personally as I continue to write, create and work towards a passionate life in full expression of my life calling, I move towards financial freedom one day at a time. It is definitely a work in progress, thus, I get to be creative with what I have and don’t presently have.

I joked with both my children that I am happy to live in a tent, my car, a simple hobbit hut, for all I wish to do is write. Period. All I dream of doing is putting word to page, weaving stories for others to feel and experience. Now that my children are off on their own exploratory adventures, I find myself in such a glorious new phase of life. I have always been a quiet soul who enjoys the simple grace that flows. For years now I have craved to live in a small cabin where I quietly write and soak in natures balm. Or, if in the city a delightful small studio space with many windows where I watch and observe life, gathering even more inspiration for the words that flow.

This unexpected news is good news. I can feel it. Within my heart and soul I can feel that it is time for me to move into what comes next. I do not know what, where or how. I choose to surrender with love, gratitude and inner knowing that the perfect answer is aligning itself.

Life as I presently know it is about to shift. In less than two weeks I shall find myself adapting to what is next. I smile at this thought, for it is a mystery in process of writing itself. I enjoy my precious last days in this glorious sanctuary, reflecting on the memories and gracious gifts bestowed upon my heart and soul during my time here.

I ask you with curiosity –
  • When did life throw you a curve ball that led to amazing new experiences?
  • When you look at your life, how often have you been surprised by how it plays out?
  • Do you choose to see change as a scary unknown or a curious adventure?

Carpe Diem!! Ready or not, here I come…

There are more stars than I can count, there are more paths to explore than I can in one lifetime ~ they all twinkle, invite, teach, imprinting themselves upon my very soul…
Click on the image below to read the in process novel – new excerpts are shared Monday, Wednesday and Friday at The Beingness Project.
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We Cannot Know….

If you are following the fictional journey, meet Francine today – Click Here

If you follow my unedited raw musings, click here for yesterdays.

I experience that most people believe they know, know another, know why a person acts this way or that, know what causes someone to do something, know why they feel a certain way, know… However, we cannot know.

Even when it is our children, parents, family or close friends, we cannot know. The journey of each single human being is unique. How we experience life, interpret what happens, react and live is completely individualistic.

Why then do we spend so much time trying to persuade another to think like we do? Convince them of living a certain way? Doing things the way we want?

What would the world be like if we accepted, valued and honored each individual for exactly who they are? Allowing them to BE, free of judgment and coercion.

I chuckle at this thought, for I am not sure we can do it. It seems to be an intrinsic behavior to seek like minded souls and if we don’t find them to try hard to make someone become more like us.

I freely admit I am very guilty of this behavior. Passionately so in my early twenties, I was eager to convince all who would listen that we should eat healthy, exercise, care about the environment, etc…. Of course I still have my strong personal feelings about life, how I prefer to live, what I like to do and to whom I like to share time with. However, I have come to understand that I cannot know, ever.

I find this to be wonderful, for it means I will always get to hear a different story. Learn something new. Look at something from a different perspective. It keeps the world interesting. It also means I get to be ME, freely with delight.

Freedom resides in loving ourselves right here, right now…

I invite you to play with this idea –

  • Ask a sibling or friend to share about an experience you both participated in – notice the differences and similarities.
  • Talk with a colleague about something you both attended, same time and place – did they experience the same things?
  • Explore memories with your partner/spouse, friend, children…?

It can be eye opening to learn how differently we each experience the world. We can never KNOW what another feels or experiences.

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Why Do We Watch or Read…?

For those following Rita’s awakening click here – Excerpt 5

Do you have that favorite movie you have watched over and over and over again? What about a TV series that you still smile about, even though you watched it years ago? Are there movies and shows that you secretly watch only when you are alone, never telling someone because they might think you are silly, too romantic, or crazy? Is there a book that you have read over and over again? Perhaps it is a book you bought a copy for all your friends, cause everyone will love it like you do, right?

I can honestly answer yes to all of the above. What is it that makes us come back to a movie? Nostalgically remember a show? Keep a book on our shelf forever?

In the pages I get to exist outside myself, I get to feel, explore and be.
Sometimes it is what I dream of, others shock me, while still others ignite such passion….

It is the feelings we get when we watch or read. They give us opportunity to vicariously experience something, give us hope, help us to believe. Some offer us laughter. Others inspire, help us to not feel alone, ignite passion, or simply let us be for awhile. Sometimes it may not be the show as much as who we watch it with, a sweet memory forever etched in our heart.

We choose to watch for many reasons, however, those reasons are tied to an emotion – whether you want to admit it or not.

Many people will say, “I want to escape,” “disappear for awhile,” “forget everything for a bit.” I completely own and admit this reason for disappearing into the world of a movie, show or book. It is delightful to live through the characters, leaving my life behind to feel, dream and imagine.

For most of my life I have written only nonfiction, which my library reflects as my chosen genre. While I enjoy reading a great fiction novel, they seem to be more rare and less often. During my furlough time with COVID I was called to the page in a new way. It caught me off guard and yet I allowed my muse free rein. I began the fiction novel I now share excerpts from three days of the week. Taking my reader on a journey through the life’s of the characters.

I come to the page with anticipation, what will I learn, see, feel, touch, taste, hear…??

I am having so much fun in my writers imaginary world. I now have so many questions for the authors of fiction – how do you leave your characters, how do you come back into the “real world”, how do you keep it all straight while residing in two worlds???

Like watching a good movie I get to disappear for as long as my body will acquiesce to sitting in one place. I get to imagine how it would feel, letting the plot surprise me as it presents itself. I find myself desperately wanting to hide away, to run to a remote little cabin where I can write uninterrupted until the pen is satisfied and complete. I visualize the day when I will not wedge my writing into a forty hour work week.

Already I feel other story ideas generating, bubbling to the surface. I joyfully watch them percolate, knowing their time for birthing shall arrive in perfection as it always does. Right now I get to enjoy every moment I am graced to play with the characters of The Beingness Project – Your Personal Journey Home. They have become a part of my family. I excitedly await the new people I get to meet when they show up unexpected. Oh what fun it is to feel and be in this other existence, a true “fly on the wall” in another time and space.

I invite you to join us as the story unfolds. Today’s excerpt – Day 5 . Will Rita tell her best friend? Will her children wonder what is happening?

I welcome your thoughts, input, and as I have shared constructive noticing when I make a mistake, for I am not an editor, I’m a free flowing writer, who lets the words run wild.

In conclusion, I ask again –

  • Why do you watch and read again?
  • What are we craving and desiring when we revisit a movie, book, show?
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Nurturing My Muse…

My 9 to 5 job that presently keeps me fed and cared for is an intense social job. Between colleagues and clients there is no true introvert quiet. While I may not be perceived as an introvert, I truly am, through and through. I fill up my cup and come back to life when I get to be by myself. The only company I seek or wish to nurture is my muse. He is always welcome, for he awakens and fulfills my innermost desires.

This mornings RAW musings. To read in full click here….

Yesterday after a full week of juggling my day job with my love and passion to come to the page, I was tapped. My muse and soul pleaded for quiet. They literally screamed for pure divine solitude. So, I listened, nurturing the muse, soothing the soul and gifting the body and mind with freedom to rest while wondering into philosophical caverns.

Filling up my muse’s cup, I explored and wandered with other writers, who like me ached for solitude…

Today I arise. My muse is such grand company. Stirring within me such pleasure, passion, joy and excitement for life’s grand adventure. Oh how I love to play with my muse, he puts the sparkle into life, inspires me to yield, let go and unabashedly play.

Thanks to my muse I do not give up. I step forth with pure trust that he shall guide me home to the writer’s life, to freedom, to a time when he and I get to play all day if we so choose. No time clocks, no outside work, just he and I co-creating with wild abandon.

I feel strongly that we all have a muse, a calling, a beckoning to come home. Delightfully, our muse’s are unique, diversified as we are. When we nurture our muse, hear them, let them take over and fill us up, the sensation is like no other. Infinite joy, wild passion, soft exploration, sweet discovery… There truly are no words to describe such union.

Freedom lies within our surrender, it awaits release, invitation, presence…

I have also discovered that my muse is not just one dimensional. I feel him weave with me whenever I allow myself to be completely present and enraptured with life. Fully allowing myself to feel, taste, touch, hear and smell the limitless sensations of life’s emotional treasure box.

Once one has drank the rich syrup from the cup offered by their muse, there is no turning back, the taste lingers, it haunts you, whispering an invitation to come home. Oh, once you dance unabashedly with your muse, their is no other partner who can enrapture you so… His bite has infested you, there is no cure. Nor, will you wish for a cure.

When we live each day married to our muse we are like a beacon in the dark, seen by others as we learn to see. I cannot imagine life without my muse. To shackle him is to stop my breath. To imprison him, is to clench my heart into stillness.

Why have we been taught to tame our muse, gag him, place him in bondage behind the walls of societal etiquette and expectation? Set him free, release the bonds, remove the gag ~ for only then are you free….

Do not fear my dear muse, I shall always nurture you. In me, you are home. In you, I am alive and home. As we dance together the world awakens with wonder. I hope that more dancers shall join us, filling the galaxy with impassioned, vibrant beings who are enraptured with life’s grand adventure.

  • I am curious, how do you and your muse express?
  • Share with the world?
  • Do you nurture and invite the well being of your muse?
  • Or turn them away, fearful of their intensity and passion?

Click on the image below to enjoy how my muse and I play with a fictional journey into “What if” ~ Travel with the characters as they reunite with their muse, awakening a passionate life…

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What Fills You With Joy…?

In the United States one of the first questions people ask another when they meet is “What do you do?” or “Where do you work?”. From the response we begin a litany of judgments within our head, cornering this person into what we perceive someone will be like if they are a teacher, accountant, pilot, engineer, server, nanny, CEO, director, singer, etc… Did you notice your reaction to each title? It is entertaining to observe how programed we are.

When I am working with clients I like to ask, “Do you have anything fun planned for the rest of your day?” or “What do you like to do?” It is fun to watch them react to such an unexpected question. I personally don’t want to know what you DO. I want to know what fills you with JOY. What puts a smile on your face, a dance in your step and fills your life with sweet memories.

To dance, is to embody the joy that internally vibrates from within…

As I continue to write “The BEingness Project” (today’s excerpt) novel, I’m having a delightful time allowing the characters to share their truth about what brings them happiness, fills them with excitement, passion, desire… I do not pretend to know or predict, I truly let them present to me as the words flow onto the page. What a joyous play date – a double dose of joy – I get to write, my innermost love and I get to learn about a new person.

As a child we naturally gravitate to what delights and entertains our innermost desires and wants. Then “growing up” and “adult training” ensue, deflating our essential intrinsic path to joy. I have always wondered why we bought into such a contrived way of living.

I invite you to join us as we explore and learn with our characters how to find our way back to the inner joy that has been waiting patiently for our remembering. Each person is a unique experience and unfolding… Below is the novel from this weeks journey. Click the image below to read how Rita is re-discovering what brings her JOY… Will her secret get discovered?

What brings you JOY? What do are you passionate about? What gets you out of bed in excitement and anticipation?

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Stories Unite Us…

Join us for a story about awakening the heart’s desire, the soul’s dream. (go to page 3 if you have been reading along)

Stories, we all love stories. When I was a junior high English teacher I was keenly reminded how important stories are in connecting us to one another. They gift us with this little glimpse into someone’s life, make us laugh, cry, imagine, etc… Each of my classes coveted “Storytime,” it united us in our own special way, with each class being unique, due to the individuals in the room.

When you glance upon your life, the stories lift off the page to tell a tale of your becoming and BEing…

As you travel around this ball in the sky called earth, dropping in at different locations, there is always a story. There is the historical story, the present day, the future hopes and dreams. Stories unite us, inspire us, allow us to feel and connect to parts of ourselves we sometimes close off. In today’s world of modern technology stories come at us through many streams – Instagram, YouTube, Snapchat, movies, television, books, blogs, the list goes on…

I am having so much fun sharing my fictional book! At the same time it is somewhat scary, for the self critique inside wants to come out to judge. However, as the characters become a part of my everyday life, I cannot leave them in the dark, for I do believe that they have a story to share. It has made my heart happy to hear from readers that they relate to Rita, that this first character is connecting to them and they are curious for more.

Can Rita keep the life changing experience to herself? Will she get caught? It’s totally unbelievable and crazy, yet, she can’t deny her desire for more…

What new worlds lie in wait for you? The invitation to your life awaits your reply…

Join us at “The Beingness Project – A Fictional Invitation,” to be reminded that life is a journey, a story in process, each day a gift to unwrap and open. The link above will take you directly to page 3, so if you are just joining us, make sure to scroll to the bottom of the page to select page 1 to start the journey with Rita. Share this book with a friend, it will give you a fun opportunity to explore some deep topics. A new page is presented every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

As I stretch myself into vulnerable sharing, there is also the “BEingness Musings,” here again there are new posts three times a week, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Go to the bottom of the page to select the piece you wish to read. The musings are unedited “art pieces” that flow from within me through my fountain pen unto the page. I share the image of the writing for those of you who enjoy reading the original ink. Below the image you will find the typed version for easy reading and reference.

Every person is an artist, weaving stories upon their canvas of life…

The power of a story is quite incredible. They carry with them the ability to transform, destroy, be used as a tool or weapon, they unite or separate, uniquely individualistic, no two people tell the story the same, nor hear it the same… What would life be like without stories???

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The Story Reveals Itself…

Isn’t it fascinating how life unfolds for us, often despite our own actions. I enjoy watching people, observing their reactions, choices and way of interacting with the world around them. I often wonder, “did they consciously choose?” or “did they just go through the motions?”.

Life can change within a moment. We forget that, which is a blessing and a curse, I suppose. I catch myself getting caught up at times in the blind behavior of believing that the world “happens to me,” while in truth, I am choosing how I interact with the world.

In the pages of our life we choose the cast of characters, what we feel, dream, create, share… Do not put your book of life in the hands of another or upon the dusty shelf…

In today’s sharing at The BEingness Project – A Fictional Invitation, will Rita be able to keep it a secret? Will she remember her inner most desires?

I hope you will join on the journey to discover what unfolds. The next page release happens on Wednesday. Until then, I ask you, what would you do if you were Rita?

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Vulnerable Joy and Nervous Peace…

Sometimes stepping forward in life means accepting a level of imperfection, knowing that with time, patience and persistence it will become what you envision. I have been promising myself for weeks that I would start sharing my fiction work, that I would wedge between the cracks of my full time job and life obligations the various musings that bubble up in my writer’s mind.

Today I followed through! It feels scary, vulnerable, raw, peaceful, exciting and joyful, a furious mix of emotions. I can feel within my heart and soul it is the right thing for me to do. I have always been a writer, a wordsmith beckoned to express. Words even arrive in my dreams, floating suspended on a blackboard or white empty space. They will also chant repeatedly in my sleeping head until I wake to write them down.

I did not ask for words to be my breath, they just arrive with the inhale and exhale of life...

As I walk they rise up through my legs, flowing into my heart, advancing then into my meandering mind. These are the words you will find etched in the new section titled “BEingness Musings” at The BEingness Project site. These are raw unfiltered musings, free from editing, critiquing and justifying. They arrive as flowing gifts, that I unwrap upon the page.

My fictional dance unfolds piece by piece at – The BEingness Project – A Fictional Invitation. Here you just might be surprised to discover how you relate to the characters, get wrapped up in the interwoven story and find yourself questioning the path you are on…

Stories have the power to transform, to open our hearts and minds to new horizons…

I invite you to BE with me. To dream. To live vibrantly alive. To awaken your hearts desires. To stir your passions. To remember your child-like wonder, joy, love and pure presence.

I conclude in heartfelt gratitude, for while I may not know you personally, I do feel your presence. I am humbled to have you journey with me. It is exciting and comforting to go forth into what is next, knowing you are adventuring alongside…

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BEing = Flowing Muse…

As the years tick by my craving for BEing rises. In this sweet suspended state there is only flow. It awakens a vibrational environment from within that connects me to all throughout eternity – no beginning or end. BEing, to me is a pure state of oneness, like walking on a cloud as the world around me buzzes in chaos. The stillness is infinite and multi-layered. I suppose it is the state often referenced by meditators (which I practice daily), spiritual practitioners, healers and those pure of heart in their religious practice. We are each unique in our journey and thus I do not pretend to know another’s connection to this grand indescribable space. I do know I wish it for every soul, for it releases one from the confines of concrete robotic existence to a place of detached joyous observation. Letting go of yesterday and tomorrow, to freely float in the present moment.

Meditating is a wonderful way to start a journey of BEing…

When I was young, I frequented this space with no knowledge of what I was genuinely doing, it was natural, freeing, joyous and full of unexpected discoveries. Sitting still or walking within the arms of nature opened the invitation for me to BE.

BEingness exists at all times, in all places and spaces, free to everyone, it awaits an invitation…

In our programed world we are often taught to lose this part of ourselves, severing our connection to the pure potential that always is. Most of my life I did not talk about or share with anyone this divine space of pure grace, for I struggled to find words which could truly embody its pureness of spirit. I still cannot explain, for it is not a state of BEing which can be described. I have often wondered if it is how people feel when they partake of drugs or alcohol, having only experienced the latter. In my personal journey with alcohol I have enjoyed its buzzing sensation that drops walls and opens creative spaces. However, I can say for myself that it does not touch the glorious space of vibrational BEing. Delightedly BEing has no harmful physical impacts, unlike alcohol or drugs and is scientifically proven to have powerful health benefits, so I’ll take more of that please.

This weekend has deliciously been all about following this bliss, letting it quietly guide my actions with authentic presence. Turning off my domesticated (see blog post on Domestication) taught brain to welcome the unadulterated state of joy which dances inexhaustibly to co-create anything, to stroll freely in dreams, curiosity, wonder and “what if”.

Happiness, peace, contentment, grace, potential, energy…, all reside in the flow of BEing

Last night I indulged in a sunset river walk. Absorbing the smells of late summer, admiring the suns red goodbye and marveling at the subtle play between water and land. People on bicycles sped by, fishermen cast their flies upon the rivers sway and walkers busily chatted amongst themselves. I travelled in their midst, floating in my bubble of BEing (state of BEing), merrily observing it all.

In this state my muse vibrantly awakens. Like a rollicking cherub it blissfully gurgles with thoughts, dreams, poems, songs, passion, love and contented peace. Like the river that flowed beside me, my muse meandered into the vast land of wonder and delight.

I often wonder, what would the world be like if everyone gifted themselves with just ten minutes or more per day of BEing. Gracing themselves with the unlimited potential that quietly resides between their inhale/exhale, pulsing with their heart and soul (an invitation to BE).

While preparing to slumber, I invited my muse to finish its writing. Concluding the flow of words that bubbled forth during my evening stroll…

Let Me…

Let me flow upon your ripple of time…

Let me catch my breath in your whisper…

Let me feel the depth of infinity in your feathered caress and raging passion…

Let me rest my head upon the textured warmth of your rhythmic heart…

Let me weep into the recesses of yesterday, the songs of tomorrow and the cracks in your skin…

Let me dance upon the soft sparkle of your dreams, engraving them upon the tapestry of life…

Let me release into the storm of your desires, abandoning myself into the rapture of oneness…

Let me run wild and free in the stirrups of your steed, thundering into the abyss of intertwined eternity…

Let me remember all the times our souls collided, birthing another star in the galactic Milky Way…

Let me….

I conclude with an invitation – Today I invite to you reacquaint yourself with your inner state of BEing. The space where all your dreams live, your passions, desires, wonders, joy, peace, love, grace… Like the blooming of a flower it awaits your invocation.

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Acceptance, Permission, Celebrate…

Settle down, stay put, be consistent, remain in the same job, climb the ladder of achievement, acquire property and things… Ugh!! I have sincerely tried, truly I have. Yet, to do so seems to kill a part of me, to shut off my passion, play and joyful exploration of life’s copiousness.

I recently sat down with myself to sincerely look at my life journey. Putting pen to page, I listed the different jobs I have engaged in since I branched out from babysitting at 16 years old – 38 jobs, yep, 38 different places with their own unique culture. I then reflected on my 28 year Bachelors degree expedition, hmmm… 4 universities, 3 states and over 245 credits in diverse fields of study – English, Business, Communications, Art, Linguistics, Teaching, Travel Tourismm, Health, Exercise Phys…. Then last but not least, I pondered my relationship quest, there too I have been blessed with great diversity.

I have always wondered, who “sets” the norms, why don’t we question and when did I say “yes” – I know I did not…

Embarrassment and shame have clung to me like a shadow that shows up in the dark. Haunting my heart and soul with criticism for my inability to settle down, stay in the same job and pursue life with focused intention to acquire and succeed by the societal and cultural norms and expectations I have been raised in.

Try as I might over the course of my life, I seem unable to do this. I am driven to learn, to experience, to delight in exploring life through the lens of a new place, people, environment and way of living. Every job has had its own lingo, flow and community. Each field of study expands the horizons of interconnected knowledge. Diverse relationships – intimate, friendship, colleague, employer/employee enhance my understanding of the world at large, for every individual has their own story.

The recent sojourn to work on a polycultural farm on San Juan Island powerfully helped me to discover and decipher more clearly what I do and don’t want in my life. As I find myself back in Boise, Idaho, I chuckle at how I hesitate to share this change. Feeling again that old sensation of shame, guilt and failure. In the quietness, I am given the opportunity to really see and feel into why I experience such self-judgment. From a very young age I felt bad for being someone who enjoyed change, who liked to try new things, explore different places and ways of living, finding it exciting and challenging to adapt and gain a new perspective. How can we truly know anything unless we try and change the place from which we view and experience?

I’m a dreamer. A passionate pioneer who thrives in climbing the next hill to take in the new view. Inquisitive, curious, playful and open to what I can learn, experience, see, feel, touch and hear. I grow to accept this truth, giving myself passionate permission to “go for it”, celebrating my soulful wanderlust! Like a wild animal, I do not thrive in the pens of societal and cultural expectations. I fervidly love being a pilgrim in life’s grand adventure!

It has been a long time coming and is way overdue – I Accept and give Permission to my wild soul to dance and engage in life as I am called. I Celebrate the exquisite opportunity to be curious, play, explore and seize the moments I’m graced to breathe… I find myself very excited to see what comes next with no shameful apology! Carpe Diem!!

I conclude with some of my favorite quotes by Thoreau, for they have inspired and comforted me in those moments of judgment –

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.”

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”

“All good things are wild and free.”

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.”

― Henry David Thoreau

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Turning The Page – Next Chapter…

It has been quite awhile since I put words to this page, I have genuinely missed this dance. In some ways I have chosen to stay away to personally investigate how I embody the title of this blog, “Walking Naked Truth,” for I always aspire to live raw, open, vulnerable and authentically present.

Life to me has always felt like an epic novel, rich with layered life experiences that weave together in a vibrant tapestry. Times of gentle flow, excitement, change, love, loss, etc… Each page expressing the ebb and flow of a single hominid traversing her sojourn here upon the planet.

Turning the page in our life is not an end, it’s a bridge between our inner and outer expansion of becoming…

The past couple of years I have focused intently on what “following my bliss” (a Joseph Campbell quote) feels like. Playing with different life paths in my heart, soul and mind. Meditating and feeling into how each avenue might play out. Ironically, I found myself returning to the dreams of my early twenties. Thirty years ago I drew a plan for a sustainable community. I purchased books about cob, straw-bale and rammed earth homes, solar power, small scale farming, herbs, on and on…. Now of course I joyously add tiny homes to the mix, along with earthships, polycultural farming, and…

As I joyously reacquainted myself with these heart desires I connected the dots to more recent places and experiences that I was clinging to, such as –

  • Falling in love with San Juan Island, Washington (2011).
  • Following the agricultural community on the island.
  • Wanting to get back to organic farming and living in harmony with the land.
  • No commuting – living and working in the same place.
  • Engaging my body daily in physical activity – leave “all day” desk sitting behind.
  • Eating even more clean and connected to my food/nourishment.
  • Expanding my support of local and sustainable practices.
  • “Walking my talk” with the believe that anything is possible, dreams can come true and pursuing and living one’s passion is the dynamic tango of an engaged vibrant life.

It was time for my next chapter! At 55 years young, I get to embark on the second half of my life. My amazing fledglings have flown the nest, beginning to explore their own “heart desires”, thus I clip the tired edges off my wing feathers to soar forth into new horizons with vim and vigor.

At times in life we step through a gateway where an untrodden path rises to meet us…

COVID – 19 encouraged my leap of faith, giving me the reflective time to dig deep and put into action the next steps. I wrote a letter to my favorite farm on San Juan Island inquiring if I could come, work, learn, and live upon the bountiful earth. I was willing to do whatever it took, live in a tent, minimal belongings, little income, etc… I had figured out my financial bare bones to live and stay current on bills, while I carved out my new life.

Miraculously I received a positive response, the window opened for me to jump into my new reality. I took Tony Robbins words to heart, “burn the boats”, I sprung into this new chapter of life with complete commitment, I gave notice to my employer, I packed all my personal belongings, loaded my little car, spent as much time as I could with my kids and waved goodbye to Boise, Idaho after 27 years.

I find myself presently enjoying the beauty of a stunning polycultural farm, where I walk to work, engage daily in physical activity that honors the land and creatures. A small character in an ecosystem much grander than the self. Each day is a gift, learning, growing and experiencing so much. I pinch myself to make sure it is all real, feeling the gratitude bubble over.

The novel of my life is a constant work in process. What a grand adventure it is, each page and chapter unfolding and laying a foundation for what comes next. I love flipping through the pages to recall memories, to sit in gratitude for the challenging times that taught me so much, to laugh at sweet moments, and… It is always bittersweet to close a chapter, however, the paradoxical bridge between the last page and new page is a tenuous one rich in a myriad of emotions.

Where are you in the life journey? As you turn the page, is it time for a new chapter, expansion and more time in the present chapter??

It’s hard to put down a good book…

If you followed your bliss, where might you go, do, see, experience…?

Thank you so much for being a part of my life book – In heartfelt gratitude…

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As Above, So Below… As Within, So Without…

These eight simple words have always vibrated within my inner chamber, pulsating with truth and unspoken oneness. Encapsulating the existence of all that is. Human’s in their net of “free will” grabble with their separation from this revelation, for it shreds all contrived discrimination and quantification.

Those two pure little phrases have been knocking on my psyche for days. I hear them as I sleep, feel them pulsing in my veins, inhaling and exhaling their quiet truism. I hesitated coming to the page, to lay bare such raw exposing words, yet I know, those who feel them will read, those who thwart them will flee.

To separate is to limit, to define is to control, why would I choose either…?

They are not words to define, investigate or even understand. They are an active expression of that which is… A feeling, a knowing, an inexplainable realm of peace, infinite grace and all-embracing love.

I often play with their expansive grace when I gaze upon the never-ending sky. Day or night her impenetrable existence stirs a kaleidoscopic adventure, from electrifying calm to savage turbulence. She mirrors the human dynamic, love to rage, insult to compliment, care to abuse, perplexing even ourselves.

I explore further their muffled call as I sit or stand enveloped in nature or immersed in the cacophony of manmade civilization. Here again they reflect our chosen experience. I can respond to it all with peace, fear, love, hate, joy, or… What I choose will either connect me or disembody me from the vibrational oneness. I am at choice.

Religious and spiritual texts try to encapsulate, define, explain and “tell us how”, yet, such truth cannot be sheathed or unclothed. It exist in a purity for all to bask, an equality across all existence – “As above, So below, As within, So without.”

As a child I floated in this luscious space, like an iridescent bubble suspended in humanity’s bewilderment. Every now and then I would bump up against those who would try to pop my intimate relationship with such knowing. Today I bow in gushing gratitude, for it has remained, serenely vibrating throughout the years. As I peek in my rearview mirror I can see how often I was invited to veer off course, to forget, to choose “humanity” as the almighty. In humble human awe, I breathe into the eternalized vibration, grateful for its umbilical linkage.

Floating suspended with no beginning or ending we breathe as one…

“I do not seek, for I am…

I do not need, for it is…

I am that, I am…”

Until today, I knew not where the eight word phrase came from. As I typed the title, I thought, hmmm.., perhaps I should explore where that all encompassing phrase originated. A quick research reveals Hermes Trismegistus, however, humans toss and turn over centuries with its true authorship.

I come full circle to repeat that it matters not where it comes from, for it is not about understanding from our limited human perception, it is a sublime unifying truth. I can never explain it to you, however, I wish for all its undefinable experience, for such awareness could unify the world.

As above, so below…

As within, so without…

I do not seek, for I am…

I do not need, for it is…

I am that, I am…

I invite you to feel, not understand. Release the mind from its exertion to decipher, allow the heart to guide. Surrender with love into the free fall of that which is, for your soul remembers and knows…

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A Moon Bath…

It is five in the morning, I sit perched upon my bed, a writer’s roost to bask in the moon’s glow. I breathe quietly into the layered silence that emanates, filling the space with expansive questioning. My moon effulgence is sweet, yet, I know it is fleeting. Already sounds of traffic encroach upon the scene, foreboding the ticking time bomb we title reality.

I allow my gaze to partake of the sparkling moon dust that skitters across the hushed pond. All lights, except for the dimmed computer screen are extinguished. Maybe I can somehow prolong the radiance, delay the initiation of the emerging sun. Can I hold my breath, pull the chord that entangles the moon, beseech it to stay perched for my eye to see and my heart to feel?

I suppose she may wish to rest, to rejuvenate for her next rising. Taking her turn in the celestial dance, being careful to not overstay her welcome. I am charmed by her mysterious illumination, never does she fear the dark, instead she welcomes it like a cloak of glad tiding.

She accepts that often she is unnoticed, a mere sliver in the sky, bashful in her monthly cycle. Once upon a time we honored her, knowing that her waltz in the galaxy was as important as the suns tango and the rains boogie, all essential in the abundance promenade.

I sit now enveloped in the complete emptiness of her departure. Silently she slipped away, no bravado goodbye, just a quiet last wink to those who glanced her way. I hold that gesture as I rise like the sun into the manmade chaos. It’s my glowing reminder in the anarchy of human civilization that all is impermanent, fleeting, a mere glint in infinite darkness.

A moon bath caressed me into this day. I lathered and washed infusing my skin with her radiant energy. Armoring myself against the onslaught of human preoccupation, the ignorant forgetfulness that we are an intrinsic part of the whole.

Thank you moon glow, your touch has lifted me. I shall not forsake your gift, nor ignore your virtues.

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My Second Half…

At the young age of fifty-five, I find myself joyously standing in the center of that which has been and that which is preparing to blossom. An eloquent juxtaposition that feels like a merry-go-round spinning with exquisite suspended scenes.

In addition to my age gracing me with the realization that a lot of life has been lived, my children now soar off into their own adventures, pushing me out of the nest. As the truth becomes absorbed cellularly I find a gleefulness that encapsulates the carefree wild child I was and the passionate wise woman I am. Uniting and marrying the two for prophetic adventuring. A smile spreads, curiosity ignites, rhapsodic imagination takes flight.

In My Second Half…

I know I am worthy and divinely perfect as I am…

I unabashedly live, love, and explore…

I witness the beauty in the mirror, celebrating the gifts of time…

I gleefully embrace my enough-ness, freeing myself of unsolicited opinions…

I canter at full speed into the arena of my passionate dreams…

I leap with complete faith, burying with fervor the crib of regret…

I acknowledge with great gaiety that I am a success and always have been…

I sever the twine issued by judges, critics and fearful fanatics…

I am free to BE me, gyrating with grace into the infinite expansion of self…

I pledge to live engorged at the table of life…

In my second half, I welcome the rhapsody Carpe Diem…

Fawn Caveney

Yes, everyday is a fresh stretched canvas. A posed pirouette. A barren page. A ballad awaiting melody. Oh what delighted mirth awaits in My Second Half…

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Writing is my home…

As I joyously inhale the rich scents of Spring, I smile at the magic of the pond surface, it invites me to become mesmerized by its soft masquerade. Pretending to be the cerulean blue sky, budding trees and patchwork clouds, until a duck exposes its truth.

What we see may not be that which we believe…

I sit in contemplation, why do I write? I explore this topic with sincerity, for I am clear, I do not wish to be an inbox pest, or an in your face “look at me” bombardment in this technological age. Writing has been my calm in life’s storms. Words whisper on the wind, thunder in my dreams, offer safe harbor for my truths and ignite my desires. Writing is my home.

It occurred to me yesterday that there is a poignant difference between words that are meant to be READ and words that are written for one to FEEL. I put my words to page for the latter, hoping they may touch a part of you that knows and remembers. Like a firefly in a dark room, my writing arrives to kindle your heart, mirror your magnificence, and celebrate your existence. My words wish to be your friend, whether they resonate or not, it does not matter, they arrive free of expectation or judgment.

Words beckon me, they arrive in dreams, promenade on the wind, sparkle in sun rays and wink with the moon. As far back as my small human brain can go, they have called, beseeching me to hear, to feel, to know their exquisite texture, tone and truth.

A composer hears music, an artists woos colors, a singer ignites sound, a dancer feels cadence, a writer breathes words. I write because I must, whether or not anyone reads my sentences matters not to my persistent muse… As a willow will bend in the wind, the colloquy shall flow from within, arriving on any inviting surface.

“I do not write to convince you, I write to invite you…

I do not write to ignite your approval, I write to remind you of your magnificence…

I do not write to tell you what to do, I write to celebrate you

I do not write to tell you something is wrong, I write to empower you to choose yourself…

I do not write to give you 7 Steps to a better life, I write to inform you that you are already enough…

I do not write to critique your life, I write to reflect back your perfection…

I do not write to magnify your discontent, I write so you may embrace your worthiness…

I do not write for you to read the words, I write in hopes that you may feel the words…

I do not write to get your attention, I write because I must, it is who I am…”

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The Whisper…

During this time of “stay at home” it has been easier for me to find that sweet spot, the whisper tucked between the multiple layers of silence. It is a vibratory space, one that is texturally exquisite and infinite once you empower its presence. Most people I meet are unaware of its existence. Many are afraid to allow it to surface, for in doing so, they would be called to enjoy their own company. Releasing all busy-ness. Freeing oneself of the obligatory do. Gracing the moment with just being.

The resonating whisper that is so eloquently wrapped amidst the divine layers of silence is the supreme land of freedom. It lifts one out of human suffering, suspending all time and place. A space of paramount intimacy where the in and out breath merge with grace. Quieting the pulsating ebb and flow of blood. Soothing the heartbeat to a gentle murmur. Inviting the skin to relax and float upon the coagulated mass beneath its protective sheath. All that separates evaporates. Leaving in its wake the galactic interconnection of all that is…

One can witness the ethereal whisper, it is –

  • the pause before a new born takes its first breath…
  • a blossom thrusting the first petal forth…
  • a soft crack exposing a hatchling…
  • the heavy dark clouds at the edge of releasing the first raindrop…
  • the buoyant zone crossed by the mind embracing sleep…
  • a mother quietly viewing her child…
  • the moment a leaf touches the water…

The transcendent whisper perpetually summons, alluring one to tiptoe into the omnipotent realm, an invitation to vibrationally dance upon the edge of contrived human existence and the sempiternal expansion of all that is.

What might we discover about ourselves and the cosmos we float within if we welcome the layers of silence, beseeching the centriole whisper to swaddle us in its infinite glory? Could we potentially navigate our human existence with a newfound harmony? Rising in vibrational crescendo to a state of tranquility?

I invite you today to find the whisper. Allow yourself to float within the unparalleled effervescent freedom of the whisper.

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Ode to the Blossom…

Outside my bedroom stands a glorious cherry tree. I call it the cotton ball tree, for in the Spring it becomes a round white fluff ball balancing on a dark gray leg. When viewed from the other side of the pond, it receives grand compliments like the belle of the ball, dressed in regal finery.

She is the first to don her green as the winter wanes, preparing and fueling herself to burst forth with voluptuous magnificence. Watching the tightly wrapped buds as they expand in preparation to expose themselves, beckons one to be patient. Then it happens, the soft white nearly translucent petal leans back, inviting the others to join her, telling them it is safe to open up.

It is a grand party, they dance and wave on the currents of seasonal change. Quietly role modeling for the nearby trees that the time is now, a merry invitation to play.

I am awed by their extreme courage and strength, such delicate baby soft petals do not give way to the last ambushes of winters gusts. They stay perched in their efflorescence perfection. I am mesmerized by their unabashed elegance and enraptured by their swirling soft perfume.

The time of fading looms. They cling to the final glory days. Intense gales with blurring rain try to undress the dignified queen of trees. The fair ivory petals do not forsake her, they stay, grasping to the last days of their eminence.

A blanket of white bares the truth, fading with quiet acquiescence they fall. Knowing that their time in the sun has come to an end. They exalted the rising of Spring, tempting others to brave the change, now with extreme fortitude, they accept death.

Springs blanket of white shall last merely a moment in time, a mirror of life’s fleeting impermanence…

I sit in admiration of their unpretentious valor, for they did not try to burst on the scene before they were welcomed and they do not linger longer than they were invited. There is a resplendent acceptance that life cycles, birth, life, death.., birth, life, death….

As the sun worships their last moments in the cradle of leaves, I too stand in adoration of their benevolent presence and passing. Our time shall come again on the ebb and flow of seasons. I thank you humbly dear blossom for the reminder that everything has its season, blooming in perfection with the raw truth of impermanence and fragility in the presence of time.

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“When Will WE Ever Learn…”

As I quietly sit tucked away in my “stay-at-home” cocoon, hidden in the branches of my make believe treehouse, I am saddened by what little news I allow to trickle into my world. As a person who has “news fasted” for over twenty years, I find myself even more grateful now to be distanced from the onslaught of hyperbole and disrespect that smatters itself across the page, video screen, TV, and…

Will WE ever learn? Can WE change? Or are WE doomed to repeat our sabotaging human cycle? WE tout ourselves as “advanced,” as “civilized,” as “wiser and smarter” than the people before us. Are WE really?

From what we know historically about the human existence our patterns are blatant, a slap in the face, or pure insanity according to Einstein – “

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former,” and “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein

What is that cycle, the insanity we perpetuate? War, revenge, greed, abuse, torture, blame – not understanding or digesting that the “grass is never greener” it is always just different. In the COVID-19 experience we have so far blamed, criticized, panicked and now protest. Are we civilized?

Definition from Cambridge Dictionary: A civilized society or country has a well developed system of government, culture, and way of life and that treats the people who live there fairly.

Pete Seeger wrote a song that lyrically reveals our repetitive tale, just hit repeat and you can play it century, after century (Preformed below by Peter, Paul and Mary).

Could WE look at this time as an opportunity, a chance to pause, a time to come together to make new choices? The song below is one that remains in my memory bank, it encapsulates our human “insanity” as labeled by Einstein.





Buried treasure conjures up images of gold, jewels, gems, silver, piles of money…? I question, will this treasure:

  • Feed me happiness?
  • Buy me true friends?
  • Purchase passion?
  • Acquire bandaids for unhealed wounds?
  • Settle debts of unforgiven moments
  • Provide me with food when their value set and accepted by humans is nulled or destroyed?
  • Procure me peace?

As we tour the ruins of previous “advanced civilizations,” are we offered a glimpse into our behavioral patterns? Are they role models of what did not work, along with what did work?

Shall we continue on our path, believing ourselves to be wise and advanced? Or can we humbly open up to realize that there are soon to be 8 billion different perspectives. Yep, in our “advanced” state, no two of us are alike, so why do we fool ourselves and others into thinking we should be similar, want the same things, see the world the same, etc… This will never be, unless a new virus erupts that brainwashes such change. Personally, I believe the world would be extremely boring if we all thought, believed and wanted the same things. Our differences give us opportunity to learn and grow.

Maybe Dr Seuss’s famous tale, “The Lorax,” should be revisited by us all.

Or “Horton Hears a Who…”

Here I sit wondering, “Will WE Ever Learn?…

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What Have You Learned???…

As discussion begins to formulate around going back to work, I find myself in deep reflection. What did I learn about myself during this time? How do I feel as I stare down the barrel of returning to the 9-5 game established in this society?

My family and friends would easily share with you that I have never been very good at staying within the lines of “societal expectations”. Since I was a child there is a different drum that beats in my heart, like a far off voice, it beckons me to follow my heart’s desire, or as Joseph Campbell’s famous quote wisely shares, “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”

What a tightrope tap dance it has been for me. Like doing the “Hokey Pokey” I sometimes put my little foot in, however, more often I am yanking it out quickly, fearing it will get sucked into the quick sand of society. So many times along this journey I have quietly wished that I could be “content” with the cookie cutter society we’ve established, “just “Baaa…” along Fawn, follow the flock, be happy with what is, stop walking off the path,” I whisper to myself. The voice of “reason,” as some would call it, became even louder when I brought children into this world. In reflection, I wonder at moments, what if, I had chosen a path more in line with my values, like the movie “Captain Fantastic”. Of course part of my dream involved not doing it alone, I wished for that partner who also desired a sustainable life upon the land. Sooo.., I gave up on that dream, or better stated, I put it on the shelf where it has collected dust and cobwebs for years.

This unexpected time to truly just be with myself and my children has graced me with the opportunity to dust off the values and characters on the shelf; informing the spiders that they will no longer keep them company. In complete honesty, I started to dig into the protected chambers of my heart and soul when my son left for college three years ago, for his his sister was not far behind him. What did I desire for my second half of life? Where did I wish to live? Create, share, explore..? That time is now!

Pulling out my tightrope dancing shoes, gathering my dusted off values, passions and dreams I sit down to visit. Like grass erupting through concrete, the lusted for aspirations blossom anew. Pulling out pen and paper, my forever best friends, I make a list. What did I love about this “stay at home” time?

  • I loved not commuting to work.
  • I relished the quietness, listening to the layers of silence as they expanded.
  • I fell in love all over again with putting words to page, allowing my muse to dictate the flow.
  • I joyously celebrated the dream to “work & live” in the same place.
  • My body, mind and spirit relaxed into the beautiful simplicity, the washing away of chaos, stress and worry.
  • I celebrated the chance to only let in what inspired me, stirred my desires and ignited my passions.
  • Relishing the completely present time with my children, sharing meal creations, conversations, movies, games and walks.
  • Letting my body move without an alarm clock or tight schedule.
  • Sinking more deeply into the grace that nature offers in her infinite wisdom.
  • The gift to stay away from the chaos of the city, keeping my distance from the negative energy created by stress and angst.
  • The chance to play with new ideas, free of demands and interruption.
  • Allowing my quiet introverted soul to breathe deeply, embracing the peace that always is…

What did my list tell me? Certainly I can go back to “normal”, get back on the merry go round of commuting, punching in and out on the time clock, maintain a home, car, blah, blah, blah… Or I could begin to seriously listen to that far off voice. Encouraging the whispers of my heart and soul to rise in serenade, to crescendo into the new future.

I am curious, as we continue to navigate the COVID-19 phenomena,

  • What are you learning about yourself?
  • What is important?
  • What are your desires and dreams?
  • Do you want to go back to normal?
  • Were you happy?
  • Is this a new opportunity?
  • A chance to reflect, dust off forgotten wishes?
“Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.” ~Joseph Campbell

I shall conclude today with another powerful quote from Joseph Campbell –

“We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it is all about.”

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Are We More Advanced???…

It was clammy and cool, causing goosebumps to rise. The walls were a blend of rocks, dirt and moisture. The floor had hardened over time, an uninviting place to sit. My “little grandpa,” who was actually my great grandpa, had to duck to get down in there with me, but, he was always willing to humor me for a while. It was one of my favorite places on the farm, for it was home to the squishy little salamanders I enjoyed befriending. Early summer was the best time to be in there, for it was refreshing and the root vegetables from the last harvest were gone. The tiny little dark root cellar was just one of the wonders that remains tucked in my childhood memory bank.

My little grandpa’s farm.
To lose our connection with the land we live upon is to shut off our own breathing…

As a toddler I frolicked around my great grandpa’s farm. I called him my “little grandpa”, for his son, who was much taller and broader, got nick-named “big grandpa”. In my little mind the names made total sense and became the endeared titles for them as my siblings arrived one by one.

I absolutely loved my little grandpa’s farm. It sat in a small community in southern Michigan. A miniature piece of land that felt gigantic to my young adventurous spirit. It was full of wonders and places to explore. Thankfully my little grandpa humored my tagging along, even though it was hard for my stubby legs to keep up.

Like the seeds my great grandma would plant every spring in the garden, the farm memory rooted itself in me. I can still feel the gentle flow of life there, the seasons and the wonders of the land in its gracious life giving abundance.

Dear ole Rastis was my easy-going four legged best friend. He was a striking mix of black and white soft fur and just the right height for me to use as a balancing tool. Best of all he let me take care of him, kindly receiving my offered meal of rocks. It was a good thing I did not know until years later, that when I was not looking he would spit them out.

The other day as I reviewed the COVID-19 numbers around the world, it struck me again, how the hotbeds for the virus seem to be the densely populated areas. This led me to thinking about the human’s movement from living on the land, to occupying high rises. The shift from an agricultural species to an industrialized machine. As the years have flown by, we become even more disconnected from our roots with the land. For me, this recent world situation poignantly shares the ripple effect of our choices in so many ways.

The small farmer that has survived the onslaught of monster mono-crop farming, can still go out his/her door today to co-create an existence with the land. If necessary, they can generate a way to survive and get by during challenging times. Whereas, the individual sitting on the 39th floor of a high rise is limited with their ability to provide for themselves or their family. They are dependent upon the interwoven “advanced” lifestyle we have established over time.

Business as usual is non-existent as I type these words. We are being offered a magnified view of the infrastructure we have chosen to co-create. The closing of daily business as we know it has created a tsunami effect on the unemployment lines. What will the long term impacts be? How have our priorities and choices impacted us and the future?

I don’t know about you, but, thoughts of the small farm life prick my curiosity. The ability to wisely provide for my family, share bounty with others and create a community that ebbs and flows with the land, seems very inviting. A few years ago, I enjoyed the opportunity to work on a local organic farm, it was a sweet time that re-ignited my childhood memories. I never slept better than during that time, my body physically tired, my spirit full with a solid sense of important accomplishment. Ironically, I could not feed my family on the income I received, thus, I found myself back in the city working behind a desk. Personally, I find this backwards, for providing healthy nourishing food seems to be one of the most important life giving professions that exist.

Change does not have to be about sacrifice, it can be about ingenuity and a willingness to keep trying…

Many years ago I discovered a book that really stirred my thoughts about sustainable living – “Solviva – How To Grow $500,000 On One Acre & Peace On Earth,” by Anna Edey. Here was a single woman, like myself, going for it, trusting in herself and the land. She presented some interesting images for a “livable future” that really piqued my imagination (see above image), what if, we actually became that smart. Recently, I found myself exploring another sustainable way of living, Earthships. What if we actually started to think about our quality of life and how to create a better future for our children and the generations to come after that. We are creative, perseverant, compassionate, resilient beings when we decide that’s how we want to be… Like Edison, Einstein, the Wright Brothers, and any one else who had an idea, anything is possible if we believe, keep trying, learn from our mistakes and stay open to new ideas. After all, you are reading this on a tool that certainly did not exist when I was young.

  • I continue to wonder will we use this COVID-19 world experience to make changes that honor our inter-relationship with the land?
  • Or pretend nothing happened?
  • Will we wish to respect and cultivate a new way of being upon the planet?
  • Or ignore all the valuable insights we have gained?

What if, we did not “return to normal,” instead we decide to co-create a “fresh new start.” A way of living upon this planet which sets it up to thrive for generations to come…

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Genuine Authenticity…

As I sit here in my “pretend treehouse” I joyously welcome the exquisite symphony of the surrounding trees. They undulate with an unspoken acceptance. I am mesmerized by the dancing blossoms before me, they remind me of the miracle that life continues, that beauty is continually birthed, even in adversity. The water on the pond churns, it acquiesces to the commitment of the wind to create change. Dancing clouds flirt across the canvas before me, tantalizing me with their weightless freedom.

A delicate white petal floats down upon my hand as my fingers strike the keyboard. It invites me to notice, to honor its delicate babylike softness, its sophisticated pure whiteness that only nature can create. I sit wrapped in this minuscule bubble, a tiny air droplet in a far-reaching galactic universe. Gratitude is my blood flow today, it courses through my body like a wild fire on a dry prairie.

My mind has behaved like a squirrel, hopping from one curious topic to another. The human programmed part of me has been interrupting the merry romp, enticing me to be “productive.” Ha, laughs my jolly trickster soul, today is for merriment, for disappearing on the wind currents with curiosity and imagination.

The acorn which has held my squirrel mind with intrigue today is the pondering of authenticity. Genuine authenticity. The kind that makes you feel instantly connected to another, opens your heart with trust and imbues you with a sense of seeing while being seen.

As we sit suspended by this rare virus eruption, the deluge of information is raining down in torrential proportions. I find myself actually shaking my head in sad disbelief at how quickly marketers have snatched up the COVID-19 mantra to make a new sale. To play upon the human psyche like a parasite chewing on the raw flesh of its host.

Now I must also sing out praise for the marketers, businesses and sites that offer the contradiction. In their song I hear a heartfelt desire to ease the fears, calm the worry and extend an encouraging invitation to have faith.

Within us lies the knowing, the interconnected intuition that discerns to light a path…

We are such delightful creatures, free to sponge up whatever we put our focus upon. How do we decipher in such strange times the mouth that serenades our hearts and souls versus the mouth that tears us apart, injecting fear venom or draining the coffers of our livelihood?

Again, as I have typed before, I marvel at the technicolor paradox that humans co-create. Think about it, or actually feel into it. Why during a time of such global vulnerable uncertainty would any human decide to propagate information that is harmful, that expands the pandemic from the lungs into the brain washing nervous system. Perhaps, it is an opportunity for us to grow our discerning muscles, to choose where we shall share our time and energy. A time for us to endow the heart and soul with more power, so that we can translate for our brain what is genuine authenticity.

The human internal starship, burst with truth, aching to blossom…

As the tree ripples before me with its ample blossoms, I can sense its eternal trust in the wind. The unseen deep roots know that at times there will be pain, there may even be death. However, it surrenders to the faithful wind, for they need each other, they are interconnected, integral pieces of a tapestry that spins in an expansive galaxy.

As you find yourself besieged with “information” and new advertisements, feel within for the truth, is this an authentic source? Does it offer genuine information or helpful service? Or is it trying to breed with your already sprouted fears, worries and stress?

Personally, I am doing reps to improve my discerning muscle for genuine authenticity…

Within us resides the bona fide lie detector, listen, you will hear…

On this day to never be again, I wish you and yours peace, health, happiness and faith….

In heartfelt gratitude, Fawn

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Wait or BE???…

During this unique time in our world I hear and read everywhere the desire to return to normal. It’s as though people are holding their breath because the air presently available is foul and encroaching on life as we know it.

As I lay in bed last night, watching the bright moon glow, I found myself contemplating,

  • Why are we waiting?
  • Why do we want to return to what was?
  • What if there is actually a new world that awaits us with positive changes?
  • What if this is a rare opportunity not a curse?

I do experience that people enjoy a routine. They like familiar and predictable. I am guilty of liking some simple routines myself, such as journaling every morning, the way I have started my day for over thirty years. I also relish my warm cup of Jasmine Green tea that accompanies my pen and paper in the quiet dawning. I love walking in the grace and splendor of the natural world, to feel my body flow with the rhythm of nature’s song. Yes, I have my daily pleasures that make my heart smile…

I can honestly say though, that I often query with my heart, soul and mind – “Does this daily habit serve me? Is it helping me to co-create a more joyful expansive life?” If that search uncovers that I am doing it for others, because I “should” (yuck), or to meet some outside expectation that I do not care about, then I stop and let it go. This is a constant dance of reflective exploring, an aspect of life that morphs as I grow.

As I journaled this morning, it struck me like a lightning bolt – “What if it is not about WAITING! Instead, it is a glorious chance to learn how to BE. Maybe for the first time in your life you get to just BE. Feeling into the rich expansive layers of who you are. Taking this time to explore the nooks and crannies of your intimate heart, soul, and quieted mind.

We can only hear our personal song, when we listen…

Throughout my life journey most of the people I meet do not want to sit in their own quiet. They do not want to be still, to hear the silence, feel their own heartbeat. When I broach the subject of just BEing, I am jolted by the fear and discomfort that presents itself. This saddens me, for only in the quiet space can the inner self have a chance to bubble up, the unexplored dreams surface and the hidden desires show up in technicolor.

Yesterday on my walk, I sat by the river watching freshly released seed pods float by, like watching the flames of a campfire, I was transfixed by their tango upon the water. A pair of osprey serenaded, dancing upon the wind currents of a cloudless azure sky. To complete the perfect setting, vivid green willow buds burst upon the exquisite scene. I welcomed the serenity, breathing it in with momentous gratitude. I allowed myself to float in the sweet reverie, grateful to Just BE…

Today I invite you to BE, allow yourself the grace to feel, breathe deep, listen to your inner being, ponder the thoughts that drift up out of the quiet internal space.

Of course as we know, it is always your choice. You can WAIT, hoping for change, expanding the sensation of frustration and worry OR you can open up to feel into the NOW moment, content to Just BE.

What if this time is not about Waiting, instead it is an offer to BE???…

I joyously announce that today I OPEN and SHARE the fiction writing side of me :-). Beware, it is an ongoing tale… Click to join me – “The Inner Being Quest, Your Personal Journey Home…”

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Precipice of Time…

Her eyes sparkle with joyful trust, her feet skip with abandoned freedom, her voice rises with no apology and her hands reach for the dust that dances with her in the glittering sunlight. She is free and wild an ecstatic expression of the bliss which always is…

Her face was lined from years of living. Her eyes danced, bursting with memories etched like fireworks on a dark night. Her smile beckoned one to sit and listen. Her legs no longer danced, they lay bent and disfigured on the bed with raw open bed sores seeping at her hip joints. Her vibrant spirit encircled you the moment you stepped into her space, there was no victim in this room, no woe is me, instead one was greeted with dynamic passion, simple happiness, and a peacefulness that gently kissed you on the cheek. 

Who are the “her’s” I speak of? The first is me, dancing in my childhood living room, chasing the sun dust I stirred up with my exuberant joy. The second “her” is a divine woman I was blessed to care for in a nursing home years ago. Her aliveness, grace, peace, and love still dance in my memory. She and others I cared for knew a truth, as did the child in me. 

What did they know?

  • They knew that happiness, love, peace and contentment always exist.
  • They knew that it did not exist in things outside themselves.
  • They knew that it was accessible in all moments.
  • They knew that no one could give it to them, yet they lovingly shared it.
  • They knew it was a choice.

The years and space between innocent curious childhood and the wisdom of one’s latter years is full of “shoulds”, “comparisons”, “judgments”, and the measuring of the self against a society often ruled through fear and distrust. I do not have to sit very long in a cafe before I can hear someone criticizing themselves or attacking someone else. Stories swirl around like the sound of the espresso machine, surging with blame, shame, hurt, victimhood and discontent. It breeds like the flies on the patio tables, snatching up every scrappy morsel to add fuel to why their life is so miserable. 

Why do humans choose this?

A question I have pondered since I was five years old.

  • Why do we let go of our passionate desires to instead choose to fly someone else’s kite?
  • Why do we slam the door on the pure potential of joy?
  • Why do we kick happiness to the curb, to welcome and invite stressful frustration?
  • Why do we say “have to” instead of “get to”?
  • Why do we choose going through our days and moments on auto-pilot, waiting for someone or something else to make us better?
  • Do we prefer to wait, to lie on our deathbed watching the autobiographical movie of regret?
  • Why do we look in the mirror with such self contempt, as young children we loved our reflection?

I ask all of this with curiosity and a desire to understand.

In my sophomore year of college I was blessed to work at an international daycare. Here I witnessed children from all over the world. They danced, played, laughed and cried, living their moments very presently. They saw the world as a frontier to be explored. I sensed that the older children were on the fringe of losing this curious wonderment for life. In their play I observed them mimicking adults, their eyes would change, their jaw would set tightly, their voices would take on a serious tone. The joy, spontaneity, compassion and kindness evaporated, leaving behind a robotic body, controlled by the “taught” mind. 

Three years after working in a daycare, I found myself working in a nursing home. Here I discovered the grace and vengeance of aging. I was gifted to share time with souls who lived a full passionate life and others who were embittered with regret. The extreme chasm between the two slapped me stingingly as I would leave one room to enter another. My heart and soul ached for those fighting their own shadow. They carried their anger and sadness like a suitcase loaded with boulders, burdening their final days. These souls expressed through pinches, punches, and verbal abuse while you assisted them to the toilet, shower or dining hall. Off the clock, I cherished the moments I got to sit and listen to the stories from those celebrating life. Stories of falling in love, having children, riding in a car for the first time and rising above struggle. Reflections of the gentle flow of seasons, years, experiences and the pure grace of a life lived fully. 

Precipice of time…

In my forties I found myself teaching language arts to junior high students. Here I witnessed the cross over in technicolor poignancy. A few young people desperately clung to their innocent pure belief that anything is possible, that one could reach for their dreams with unbridled passion. The majority of the students had given up, they did not dream, instead they chased visions of their future painted on the wall by parents and society. They swallowed hard the doses of expectations fed to them with the famous mantra, “When I have lots of money I will be happy, when I get my degree I will be happy, when I buy a house I will be happy, when I marry I will be happy, WHEN I… I will then be HAPPY”

Ironically the joke is on us, for much of life is lived between the wild child and the wise elder. Thus I am forever grateful for the life altering gift of witnessing snapshots of age through my diverse professional life. They have  graced me with an awareness and microscopic view that life is really just a brief sojourn. A brief interlude to experience as I choose. 

Today I watch the sun dust with the pure delight of my four year old wonderment, I dance with unlimited joy, for I am not young, nor old, I am in between, kissing each with gratitude for their wisdom. 

Today I invite you to join me, breathe deeply into the child you once were before life manipulated you. 

Today I encourage you to take back the string to your own kite, feel it dance freely upon the wind. 

I wrote this piece originally over a year ago, today it whispered at me, beckoning me to share in this time of change upon our planet. We all sit unexpectedly in a space of suspended uncertainty. As we float between what was and what is becoming, we are being graced with a crystal ball that plays scenes from childhood, while positioning the paint brush towards a canvas of our elder years. Posed on a precipice, can you hear the whispers of grace and freedom? Or do you cling to the chaos of fear?

The wise gentle elders I was blessed to care for no longer inhabit this plane, yet the way they embraced their journey is written in permanent marker on my heart, soul, and mind. I shall not lie on the bed sores of life embittered and shriveled, I shall dance vibrantly in the sparkling company of dust particles…

If you ache for some soothing quiet, please enjoy some of my recorded guided meditations at – “Dawn with Fawn” on YouTube channel or read more at The Beingness Project.

In the quiet stillness lies the grace for more….
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Aftershocks of Uncertainty…

Guess What?… Uncertainty struck! It showed up with earth shaking realism!

And it continues… Idaho has experienced 37 aftershocks following the 6.5 magnitude that rattled everything last evening. According to the National Weather Service it was the second largest earthquake in the world for March 2020.

One would say, be careful what you say, type, or think, for you might get a real life example.

When I look in my review mirror, it is dotted with such moments. All in their own “glory” and unexpectedness. When I sit with those life experiences, really feeling into them and exploring their “aftershocks”, I am humbled, for they all lead to what comes next. More powerfully they have sculpted who I am today. Chiseling out the aspects of myself that did not serve or fit my new expansion.

This time in our world with COVID – 19 is another such opportunity. It is having many aftershocks for us to see and personally know, each and everyone of us is being hit by its quake in some form.

What will we choose to do with the experience?

  • Will you go back to life as it was?
  • Will you start out being more thoughtful and reflective in your daily choices, only to shift back to your norm?
  • Will your children, family, friends have the same memories as you?
  • During your “stay at home” time did you “numb out”, distract yourself, or embark on a new “self-love” behavior and habit?
  • Did you take this opportunity to make changes?
  • Did you reach out and connect with others?
  • Will you go back to the job you hate or did you work on your resume, determined to create change?
  • Did you learn to appreciate what you have or continue to take it for granted?
  • And….

I think the thing that always baffles me is why do we “need a wake up call” to create change? Why do people not take action steps daily towards their dreams?

This time has gifted me with the opportunity to reflect more deeply. I can honestly say that I have never truly given up, despite unexpected derailments and intense uncertain times, I have never fully given up. I still have three dreams that intertwine to co-create the life I intend to live.

They are in process, they are becoming, they are a part of who I am….

I am at choice to enjoy the journey along the way or get frustrated because it has not fully happened yet. Which sounds more fun to you? Personally I prefer the first, for I do respect, honor and know that life is absolutely splattered with Uncertainty! So, I choose to aim my rudder towards my desired destination, celebrating that there will be moments when it is a wild ride (here are a couple of those opportunities). I hang on with a sense of adventure, vulnerable openness and joy for the present moment.

What aftershocks will this time offer you?

  • Will you be a passive apathetic bystander?
  • Will you take action towards your dreams?
  • Will you reach out?
  • Will you embark on a new journey?
  • Will you cradle with gratitude the blessings in your life?
  • Will you empathetically honor and assist those most intimately struck by this virus?
  • ???

I have grown to understand that some of the most profound changes in life happen over time with small simple daily action. We do not have to have an earthquake, tsunami, or pandemic to create change in our life, we just have to Choose to step, “putting one foot in front of the other…”

The song says it all…

On that note, I wish you well on this glorious day, that shall never be again...

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Uncertainty is the Truth…

The title of my blog site is “Walking Naked Truth”, if you check out the “About” page you will get an in depth explanation of this title. In today’s writing I come to the page wishing to embody and present the “naked truth”, so we may “walk” towards that which we fear and face it.

Facing our fears puts them into the light, so we can see the truth…

At this unusual time in our history there is an increased sensation of fear, worry and stress as I discussed in my other blog site – “The Beingness Project”. Where do these feelings bubble up from, why are they on the rise, paralleling the numbers of COVID-19 diagnosed cases? 

It has been my experience in this life journey that humans have this belief that they can control. That they are in control. That they “make things happen” and “make things stop”. I marvel at this belief and unspoken desire to force the flow, versus be in the flow. 

The raw truth, everything is always “Uncertain” and actually “out of our control”. We merely choose to steer the rudder, or attempt to push life the direction we want it to go. Often there is this feeling or belief that we are making it happen. Is this true? Let’s explore it.

If –

  • Someone in your family moves away, gets sick or changes an aspect of their life, does that impact you? 
  • A tornado spins through your town, does that change life? 
  • Your boss lets you go, does that impact your present reality?
  • You win or inherit a million dollars, does that create change in your life?
  • Your child falls and breaks a leg, will this change daily life for you?
  • You birth a healthy baby into your life, will life stay the same or be in your control?

You know that I can go on and on and on, for the truth is, one never knows. Often we are blessed to have life flow along as we “think it should”, keeping us in a state of belief that we have it all under control. In a mere second it could all change. 

The road before us may look straight, however, it is often full of unexpected curves…

Here is the glorious freedom in accepting that life is a journey of “Uncertainty” , you ALWAYS have the opportunity to CHOOSE how you will react. No matter what is happening, unfolding, or becoming you get to choose how you will BE in that moment. You are also at choice with how you will feel as you decide what you want to do next, create, have, etc… (Explore this more deeply in a previous post)

COVID – 19 has us all staring down the barrel of uncertainty. Sitting deeply in the truth that something we cannot see is actually in control. We can choose fear, we can choose worry, we can choose to be stressed. However, I prefer to choose quiet reflective calm. Breathing into the truth that I can choose how I want to feel right here, right now. (Here is a worksheet for you to play with). I know I cannot change the virus. I know I cannot personally cure it. I know what I can do to support my family. I know what I can do to help others to the best of my ability. I know that it will CHANGE, another given truth. Change is always taking place.

I personally like to look at what I fear, worry about, or allow to stress me out, for as I truly notice and investigate, I quickly discover that in truth “I am okay”. As I calm down and breathe more deeply into BEing okay, I can more easily explore the deeper cause of my concern. In doing this I then realize that by letting go with trust and doing the best I can, the vulnerable open space I step into puts me back into the natural flow of life. I stop trying to swim upstream and force the tide. (See relevant post regarding 2009, when I did “lose” everything)

In choosing to be still and breathe deeply we can feel into our truth, thus setting ourselves free..

I invite you, I invite all of us, to breathe deeply. To look at “uncertainty” with the realization that it is not just now that this is the truth, but always. Then we can breathe more deeply into the space with gratitude, for this means we can let go and choose how we want to feel right now. Walking with acceptance and inner knowing that life is an uncertain journey, we empower and accept each individual unique path. There will be bumps along the way, some may even change life drastically, yet, each person is at choice to choose how they want to feel in the NOW moment. 

I believe it is a gift to experience the spectrum of emotions we are given as a human – joy, sad, loss, happy, anger, excitement, anticipation, concern, doubt, fear, love, grace, worry, peace, etc… I like to recognize and feel the diversity of emotions life offers me. I get to honor them and reflect on why I am feeling that way, what I want to do with it and if I wish to change it. If I allow it all to flow, versus holding onto the emotion, stuffing it, or blaming someone else, then I am calmly free to move into what I want to experience and maybe even learn from the process. The power I have is in CHOOSING how I will react and BE in the life experience that is always unfolding and becoming.

Open your arms to the flow of life, it may. surprise you with its magnificence…

At this time in history we are being given a chance to see, feel and understand ourselves more deeply. Life is uncertain. I think it would be a very boring journey if we could control everything. Uncertainty stimulates a journey, an adventure to learn, grow and expand into what comes next. Uncertainty is an empowering bridge to a life of choice. It gifts us with opportunities to practice choosing how we want to feel and BE.

So lets look at Uncertainty with Naked Truth and Walk forward into the flow of life –

  • How do you want to feel?
  • What about this pandemic worries you the most?
  • Can you look straight at that worry/fear?
  • When you look at it from your heart and not your mind (turn off the news), does it shift?
  • Do you like how fear, stress or worry feel?
  • What do you prefer to feel?
  • What can you think about that will shift you into your preferred state of BEing? (download previous mentioned worksheet to play with this)

I wish for all the freedom that comes with accepting uncertainty as a friend and ally. Freeing the internal self from the strangling worry, fear and stress.

Freedom is a state of BEing, one that comes from within…

Until next time, take special care of you, for only when you are well can you then serve others. 

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Visions of a Younger Self…

I sat straight up in the small wooden chair. It reminded me an old childhood school chair. The room was empty, could I actually call it a room, for there were no walls and it went on forever. The space was just vast endless blue gray light. Only me and my chair. “Where was I? Why was I here? How do I escape?” I felt weighted down in the chair, my legs unresponsive to my minds tingling panic. I encouraged myself to calm down, to breathe, to trust and let go of fear.

Like a gigantic movie screen the space in front of me lit up with a life sized scene. It was me. Dressed in my favorite blue and red jeans with flowing light blue blouse speckled with daisies. My hair was blowing in every direction, encircling my young face and my feet as always were dirty with no shoes. The six year old me stepped closer, I was transfixed by her gaze and unable to look away.

She stopped in front of me, reaching out her small little hands to stroke my cheek. Our eyes stayed locked together, a mirror of soft sky blue. In her eyes I saw such deep love, compassion, and spirited joy. They begged me to relax, to let go, to trust and be present. I felt the emotions welling up in me, a tear slid down my face as I leaned into her tiny hand, so warm, soft and gentle. The fear slid out of my body, disappearing like mist in the infinite space.

“My dear Fawn, do you remember?” she asked. Her young voice broke the still silence. Her gentle caress continued to wipe the moist tears from my face. My eyes answered her question with confusion. “What was I to remember? Had I made a promise I forgot? Then it struck me, was I dead? Had I left my physical body and now was stuck in this random space with my young self.” Her vague question had jolted my mind into high drive, which started the generator of fear again.

“Shhhhh…, it’s okay”,she soothed, continuing to touch my forehead and gray hair. I took a deep breath and relaxed back into her presence. I tried to move my lips, but they seemed paralyzed as I processed this experience. “Do you remember the dreams we used to have, the adventures we were going to go on, the books we were going to write, the places we were going to see and photograph?” a giggle filled her body as she asked the questions. Before I could answer she placed her tiny finger on my lips to stop me, softly cooing, “Watch with me“. The space lit up with a panoramic scene, the young me running barefoot down my favorite path towards our small little house tucked in the woods.

I was singing as I bounced along the trail. I looked so healthy and vibrantly alive. Free and wild in my mind, heart and soul. I completely believed that anything was possible, I could go where ever I wanted, do what I dreamed and see all the places I could imagine. The world was the frontier, full of adventures, people and new experiences.

Everything froze, washing the image away. Then suddenly there I was again, this time in my late teens. I sat under my thinking tree, a magnificent red pine that stoically held me perched above the gurgling river below. A smile crossed my face as I remembered. Warm salty tears kissed the edges of my eyes, tears of gratitude, love, joy, sadness, loss, and regret. The weight of her small hand on my shoulder kept me present, despite the urge to slip into the quiet space of a time gone by.

“Go there” she pleaded . “Feel into what we were thinking, dreaming, feeling, wanting. Remember”, her words drifted off.

I felt myself remembering, my spirited body became filled with a blend of loss, desire and ignited hope. The sobs escaped through smiling lips and undecipherable laughter. The dreams of yesterday, of the little girl and young woman permeated my very essence. In my minds eye and hearts page, I saw the books I dreamed to write, I witnessed the exploration of new places, the connection with people around the globe, learning, sharing, bridging humanity with humanity and humanity with nature.

A gasp rose up and escaped my emotionally racked body. Like a bursting comet it hit me, “I still dreamed to connect humanity, to awaken people to their unique magnificence, to bring them home to their inner state of being, awakening them to their heart and souls desires.”

It all flushed through me, the remembered awareness that nature connected us, healed and reminded us of our true inner essence.

Bridge building, that’s what I felt called to share. The bridge between human and nature, the bridge between the inner self and outer being, the bridge between all humanity, exposing our similarities no matter our walk of life or place of existence.

I looked up into the innocent wise face of my younger self, she smiled, running her velvety hand down my cheek. She leaned in, kissed my forehead and disappeared. I sat frozen, uncertain what to feel or do. My being was digesting, absorbing the intense experience. In my ear I heard her softly whisper, “Thank you for remembering, take gentle care of you and I will see you again soon.”

I sat there mesmerized by my own vibrant memories. Rekindling the wild child, the wild woman in me. Closing my eyes, I took in a tender quiet breath. As I released the cleansing air from my lungs, I blinked my tired eyes to life, uncertain in the moment what was “real” or a “dream”. I laid there, feeling into the gift from my younger self.

To be continued…

Until then, what if –

  • You sat in an empty room with your younger self, viewing the cinema of your youth, what would you witness, learn, remember?
  • What would your younger self show you, tell you, share with you?
  • What dreams did you have?
  • What adventures did you wish for?
  • What did you love to do?

Care to share….

For more from me, visit – The Beingness Project

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Dogs and Children…

There are two things I love to watch that bring me pure delight – dogs and children. They exhibit such innocence, internal joy, creativity, curiosity, and genuine presence. From the comfort of my home I get to watch a vast diversity of dogs with their humans enjoying the many wonders of the nature path.

Nothing makes me smile quicker than a dog merrily smelling along the trail, wagging their tail in full glee. Sometimes, it actually makes me giggle, especially when they are proudly carrying a stick as though it was the olympic torch.

Watching a small toddler stumble on wobbly legs along the path is also a treat. They are so close to the ground that they notice the small sticks, little rocks, pinecones and leaves. Put them by a pond or river and they are delighted for hours. Mesmerized by a floating leave, a skipping water bug, and the glorious objects below the waters surface.

You and I have this state of being within us. It’s still there, waiting to play. I remember when I was around five years old, I could ride my cedar tree horse for hours. Pretending to travel the world on my amazing four-legged friend. During the frigid north wood winters of Michigan I would bundle up and head outside to my “real home”, a space carved out of piles of snow. I was always a Native American woman, for they represented the life I dreamed to live. A life on the land, co-existing in harmony, with a community that worked and played together. No cars or planes, just the magnificent horse.

The best horse ever…

Hours would fly by as I pretended to feed my family on the cut out ice snow plates. Going off to sit at the campfire with friends and family. Sometimes we would dance or tell stories. Maybe it was a day I worked on hides, for our clothing, or gathered roots and herbs for our healing and cooking. I loved this imaginary world.

During the fall I lived in my pine needle house. The towering white pine behind the house would share its abundant bounty. To build my home, I would gather the brown-orange needles to create walls with space for door and windows. Later when my siblings were old enough to play, they had to follow the rules – NO stepping over or on the four inch pine needle walls. You could only walk through the doorway to enter our magnificent fragrant home. Time flew by in this make believe world.

Lying on the ground I loved to watch the clouds float past. My mind would wonder to imagining what the passing birds were saying, how did a tree feel in the wind, rain, snow, sun? What were people doing in other parts of the world? What was it like to live in a place with different animals? My mind loved to inquire, imagine and ask.

Watching a network of ants, I marveled at how organized they seemed. I imagined that our busy world must look like an ant mound from the sky. The cars zooming on highways, traveling like the ants to and fro. I actually found this comparison quite funny, for humans thought themselves so wise and ingenious, yet, ants already had it figured out. When I witnessed my first Australian termite mound I was in complete awe of this little engineer, talk about high rise!!

We were born curious. We were born believing that anything is possible. We were born full of imagination. We were born trusting and loving. We were born BEing in the moment, aware only of the NOW.

Can you remember? Oh, I sure can! When I see a dog bouncing along, I giggle with pure understanding. Watching children play with sticks in a pond always reminds me of the amazing “witch’s brew” I stirred up in mud puddles.

During this time I invite you to remember.

  • If you have children at home get down on the floor and play with them.
  • Go outside, close your eyes, take in a long slow breath and when you exhale, open your eyes with a new sense of wonder and curiosity.
  • Look at a nearby tree, truly see it, notice if the buds are new, or is it time for quiet hibernation.
  • Observe the ground, can you witness a bug on its way with important business to complete?
  • Did a bird fly over, or serenade you?
  • If you have a dog or cat, notice the world through their curious exploration.
  • Sit down and write about your childhood, what do you remember, what are your fondest memories, why???

You are of course free to ignore my invitation, especially if the news brings you more joy. Or maybe worrying feels good. Or stressing about “what might happen”.

I know one thing for sure – you and I each have 24 hours in our daily cycle.

  • How do you want to spend that time?
  • What will bring you joy in the midst of uncertainty?
  • How can you spread good vibrations?

You are at choice 😊! Personally, I love remembering and doing more of what fills my heart and soul. Who knows, maybe it will spread…

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“I Wish I Could Bottle It Up For You…”

I wish I could put it in a bottle for you. A special bottle, unique to you, one that when opened, would release the rich vapors of peace, faith, love and joy. Your body like a dry sponge would absorb the craved sensations, replacing all fear, worry, doubt and discomfort. Like fresh oxygen for your lungs, the healing vapors would fill you up with the inner knowing that all is well. You can and will make it through this time.

I’ve been here before. While it is vastly different, it also drips of immense similarity. Twelve years ago I walked the tightrope of uncertainty. Worry nagged, pulled and poked at the corners of my mind, my head a pin cushion to the uncertainties in my life.

I clung to my home with every raw finger nail I had left. I applied to every possible job opportunity that might work. I topped the charts in creative cooking, stretching the rice beyond its palatable enjoyment.

Despite all my efforts, sleepless nights, fearful pacing and quiet praying, I was at the end of the timeline. The bank repossessed the home where my children were born. The bank quietly towed away our vehicle. My son was finishing 3rd grade, my daughter kindergarten. Standing solitarily in the middle of my home, I breathed a final good bye to life as I knew it and stepped into what came next…

Fear is a massively powerful virus, it will eat you from the inside out. It will age you, turning brown hair gray. It has no prejudice. It does not care how far it spreads. And it exponentially grows, creeping into every crevice.

I stand on the other side of all this. Blessed to examine this life changing time in the rearview mirror of my life. March 2007 to May 2011 turned our world upside down and inside out. I grew up! I learned that the human spirit is “stronger than it thinks”, that together we can keep stepping. Sometimes life is trying to give you something more, even though it feels like life is being ripped out of you.

Sometimes we just have to leap…

Today, unlike the financial crisis of 2008-2009, we are ALL in this together. Today, there is worldwide compassion. Today, I get notifications from companies that they will work with me financially. Today, we are interconnected globally.

My humbling journey twelve years ago gifted me in ways that words cannot express. It did change my life, it did push me up against the wall, it did give me gray hair, it did teach me what is truly important.

I wish I could bottle it up for you. A special bottle, unique to you, one that when opened, would release the rich vapors of peace, faith, love and happiness. I know, truly I know that –

What you most desire to feel is already within you. It cannot be bought or sold…

You are stronger than you think…

Within you lies a peaceful space, one that holds preciously your dreams and desires...

This time on our planet can be an opportunity, a chance to reflect, to notice, to appreciate, to choose…

You are not alone…

Feel your inner truth…

Here is your bottle – please open it with complete peace, faith and love…

For more inspiration and deeper exploration of BEing go to The BEingness Project – today I share worksheets and a meditation.

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Paradoxical Mirrors…

I had a dream…

I gingerly stepped out onto the effervescent ice. Shivering in my nakedness, the breeze pricked my skin to life, while it soothed my heart. Stepping fully out onto what appeared to be ice, I realized with shock that it was actually a two-way mirror. In the reflecting light I could see myself, my raw vulnerable body lit up by sunlight, my graying hair floating with the winds sweet caress. As I gazed down I could see through the mirror, taking in panoramic scenes of life upon earth. A movie reel of humanity.

I stopped frozen in place. Forgetting my exposure. Losing all sense of place and time. I watched the scene below me with a raging desire to understand. The movie played on, the cast of characters filled the stage, humans and the natural world. Scrutinizing with focus through the flash of my own reflection, I witnessed the world of paradoxical mirrors.

An invitation…

What I witnessed and grew to understand marveled me. Nature played us, even though we thought ourselves mighty and smarter, it merely mirrored back to us our own behaviors and way of being upon this land.

A paradoxical crystal ball…

It is the predator and prey – the lion and gazelle…

It is the convulsing spew and soothing balm – the volcano and gentle warm breeze…

It is the fierce earth altering storm and gentle nourishing rain – the hurricane and dancing dew…

It is the destroyer and healer – earthquake and lavender field…

It is a killer and life giver – drought and sprouting plant…

It is light and dark – sunrise and obscured moon…

It is destructively ugly and enchantingly stunning – tornado swath and meadow of poppies…

It is harmonious and hostile – a forest ecosystem and inferno fire…

It is inspiring and disheartening – a rainbow and infestation of locust…

As I sat upon the shimmering surface, engrossed by the unfolding action below me, I felt tears, laughter, joy, sorrow, hope, despair… The breadth of my human emotions spanned the galaxy of possibilities. Never before had I been so keenly aware of natures paradoxical dance. It moved me from within, it frightened and fascinated.

All of sudden everything went black, a curtain pulled over my eyes. I blinked furiously, hoping to find light. An intense spark from afar expanded across the infinite space, clearing the slate before me. No longer did I see nature playing on the screen below, now I witnessed humans…

I gasped at the scenes, the human actors mirrored nature or was it nature mirroring the human?

A man beating his wife – predator and prey

Sludge from a factory, a mother caressing the face of her child – convulsing spew and soothing balm

A massive garbage dump, a woman watering her small garden – fierce earth altering storm and gentle nourishing rain

The bulldozing of a farm, the harvesting of herbs – destroyer and healer

The murder of another human, the caring craft of a surgeon – killer and life giver

The acceptance and love of another, the hate and judgment of others – light and dark

A child being molested, a child being cradled with love – destructively ugly and enchantingly stunning

A family dining together, a riot in the streets – harmonious and hostile

A person creating homeless shelters, a person ignoring a starving child – inspiring and disheartening

Again, I found myself swooning with a kaleidoscope of emotions. I sat frozen, unsure of what to feel, do, or say… The darkness swooshed in, this time I was calm, welcoming its closure and end. As the light presented itself, I quietly watched it expand, fearful and yet curious. The surface below me was solid now, a frosted, smooth white surface that went on forever. Above me the sky illuminated in glorious shades of blue, while the sun warmed my skin.

I stood up, allowing the gentle breeze to clear my mind. Then it struck me, like a bright shocking lightening bolt,

“What if human beings changed? Would the natural world mirror our choices? Could we begin a new cycle of cooperative co-existence? If nature mirrors us or vice versa, then it was possible, right?”

“Can humans change? Can we learn to live upon this planet with respect, gratitude and honor? Can we peruse our past to change the future?”

I had a dream…

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I Planted A Garden…

~ Fawn Caveney

Every day we plant a garden. Every day we decide if we shall care for it. Everyday we make the choice, shall we weed it, ignore it, honor it, or destroy it.

Each and every one of us decides what nutrients we shall offer our garden. We decide who and what we shall let into our garden. We also decide how we shall care for and tend our garden.

Isn’t it wonderful that different types of gardens flourish in diverse areas. That each is unique. That each is a special offering.

I am so grateful for the gardens around the globe. I feel so blessed that they share their bounty. I am in humble awe of the abundant opulence of such grand variegation.

Thank you to all the diverse seeds of the world & all the farmers who tend them…

Today as we move about our garden of life, may we celebrate the diverse unified oneness that this global experience magnifies. May we honor, cherish, respect and compassionately care.

Today is a new day to nurture, to choose, to decide and step forth.

May the seeds that we plant today in our hearts, minds and souls flourish tomorrow in a world that honors each unique seed.

For, we blossom more magnificently in the shared sunlight, water and nutrient dense soil.

What seeds are you planting today..?

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A Chance to Remember…

As a young girl I loved to sit at my small dark wood desk, resting underneath the solo window of my bedroom. A breeze spiraling in with sounds of the outside world. I would sit in that quiet reverie contemplating life, listening to the birds, the trees, the layers of silence. Feeling safe and held by the home which had stood strong since its construction during the great depression. I often wondered about the hands and hearts that built the large log cabin I lived in. They were on the road, away from family, working physically hard every day to send money home to those they loved. The Civilian Conservation Corps set up during the depression by President Franklin D. Roosevelt left a trail of crumbs across this nation in the form of log cabins, tree plantings, bridge building, forest fire fighting and so much more. I was gifted at age nine to move into one of these historic homes, it cradled me with stoic wisdom. In my heart, I shall always feel, hear, smell and resonate with the home and land that “built me”.

Today as I sit upon my fifteen dollar wicker garage sale chair, I am blessed to feel the soft caress of a spring breeze, watch the ripples on the pond and hear the song of birds intermixed with the distant buzz of traffic. This sweet little sanctuary is tucked in the center of a busy city, a diamond hidden in the hard concrete that swaddles it. I watch and listen as people walk by on the nature trail across the pond, they meander a path sandwiched between the Boise River and the planned suburban neighborhood. I wonder what they are thinking at this interesting time in our world. The dogs with them merrily celebrate the chance to play with their human being, living completely in the present moment as always in joyful glee and curiosity.

I get to sit here doing what I love, putting word to page, because the world is on “lockdown”, a time of shutting away to protect ourselves and each other from the COVID-19 pandemic. It is a sad and scary time and yet it is also an opportunity to slow down, reflect, feel and notice what is most important.

In the last few days I have noticed more families than ever before on the nature path. I have actually observed teenagers and young people, a rare sighting in the wooded arena. The natural world has become the safe zone, a place we can stretch our legs and allow movement to soothe the inner nagging fears. In the last few days I have watched my own children who are now young adults, play games, create art, read books, and for my son, prepare to finish his junior year of college online.

Personally I have found myself deeply searching what truly matters to me. While I am blessed to be off the treadmill of daily expectations and busy-ness, I tour what beckons my heart and soul? What do I dream to live and experience before I leave this planet? What makes me smile and feel vibrantly alive?

I have chuckled at the answers to these questions, for they are not a surprise. Instead they return full circle to the same dreams as that young girl sitting beneath her windowsill at her little wooden desk. I am still a simple person, a content introspective quiet soul. I find great joy in noticing the subtle changes in a flower that has started its blooming journey. Peace rises and percolates within me for the consistent grace and flow of nature, its tenacity and on going perseverance. Its exudes courage and strength as it bends and furls in response to the impacts of humans and mother nature. Like us, it is often at the mercy of what gets hurled upon it. The ebb and flow of tides perpetuate across the globe despite the human struggles at this time. Nature endures, we endure…

Nature mirrors for me what is possible.

To sprout and become in adversity.

To radiate beauty in the midst of chaos.

To serenade in perfect harmony amid the onslaught of man’s machines.

To acquiesce with perseverance and complete faith…

Like a fallen leave floating in forced surrender upon the turbulent waters of a fast moving river…

In time it shall eddy in quiet stillness, catching it’s breath, taking in the view…

Rising, falling, twisting, flipping, floating, where and when shall its journey end..?

Only to begin again…

~ Fawn Caveney
  • In this unexpected challenging time, what are you noticing about yourself and the life you live?
  • I am curious what you might be discovering as you are forced to slow down and BE?
  • Are you able to feel into gratitude for the hidden blessings?
  • Has your compassion expanded or contracted?
  • How can you use this time to reconnect to the self, ignite dreams?
  • What are the creative ways you can connect with others?
  • In the surrender can you find the inner peace that resides within?
In the darkness and unknown we can bloom…

For me, in this moment, I have been allowed the time to remember. To come home to the quiet little girl dreams. Sure, I could go down the path of fear, it is there tapping on my door. How would that serve me, or those I love? As I breathe in deeply, feeling the truth that each moment is pure grace, never to return again, I choose to hear, listen, feel and notice. How do I wish to spend the next moment? As always we are at choice to BE or react.

To you and yours I wish health, safety, and love.

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Dig into your memories…

I am curious, do you allow yourself the quiet reflection time to mosey within the recesses of your thoughts, memories and life snapshots?

Do you take the opportunity to truly notice what makes you smile? What expands your heart with the warm sensation of love?

Our memories offer us a deeper understanding of what makes us happy. What brings us joy and ignites a passion for life. We can use our memories to co-create more in life, choosing with intention to expand and do that which makes us happy, fills us with love, peace and true contentment.

As I allow myself to connect the dots of what lights me up, I discover a continuity over the fifty plus years I have journeyed:

  • Quality time with people I enjoy and love.
  • Being enveloped in nature.
  • Putting words to the page.
  • Sitting near a crackling fire on a crisp day/night.
  • Feeling my body come alive when it works out, goes for a walk, magnificently functions as a healthy unit.
  • Preparing healthy luscious meals for myself and others.
  • Learning and expanding in the areas I find interesting and have curiosity about.
  • Listening to music and feeling the emotions it stirs.
  • Enjoying the warmth of a gentle touch or reaching out to touch another.
  • The pure eloquent perfection of the rising or setting sun, bright light of the moon and stars, gentle breeze, harsh wind…
  • Etc…

The deep truth I find is that if I peel back the layers and feel into life, I discover that I find the greatest joy in the simple pure things. The genuineness of true connection, the pureness of nature, the sincerity of presence and being.

At this time in my life I am hugging in gratitude the amazing gifts of my past. This includes the challenges, for they give life texture, growth, expansion and becoming. I have been blessed to experience immense diversity in my professional and personal life, a very colorful tapestry that makes me smile. While I gratefully embrace my past, I excitedly glance into the future, what comes next, how will life unfold, what shall become.

Isn’t life truthfully always at this crossroad?

We assume that we have many tomorrows, yet we do not know. We take for granted that things will stay the same, yet, change is always a given. We are a funny creature, for we fear change, while begging for it.

In truth, we stand always in the dynamic paradox of what was, is and shall be. A fine dance that is stamped by unexpected percussion within the symphony of life

When I feel back into my life there is a reoccurring joyous sensation about getting into the zone of allowing words to flow upon a page. To experience a connection that is not my brain thinking about what I should write, instead it is a glorious flow that seems to bubble up from some unknown space. I suppose some people take drugs to feel such a high, for me it is a delicious vibration of oneness, a twilight zone where the world stops and only the fluidity of words exist. The other night I was blessed to dip into such a zone. Below is what flowed forth, may it stir within in you a curiosity to question.

1-12-2020

When will we understand the message of time eternal? The infinite wisdom of all civilizations, populations, people and souls?

Our most intimate desires and passions all lead back to the same for every being…

We ache to love and be loved, to truly see another and to vulnerably be seen; all blemishes and raw expressions in full view.

We crave belonging, embodied in a community who journeys our ups and downs, picking us up and letting us fall as we learn to fly.

To feel vibrant, alive, dynamic and of service – needed and wanted by others.

To feel healthy and happy, a reflection of how we honor ourselves and others.

If all “things and stuff” were washed away by the seas of time and we stood naked and exposed, what memories would pick us up? Keep us going? Beckon us forth? It would be the real moments of connected love, the shared joy with others, the sense of belonging.

Power leaves us holding nothing but empty resources which wash and burn away…

Money can buy everything but the sincere heart of others. It does not fill the soul with memories, or keep us warm in the envelope of belonging.

Stuff only makes us smile when it connects us with others, with those we love and cherish. The perfect shoe will not find the prince. The eloquent jewels will not make the heart dance. The stunning outfit will only remind one of the emptiness within.

Power, money, resources, all enrich, make more, co-create and expand when shared with genuine love, grace and respect.

They enrich the joys and pleasures shared with others. They can help to ease the injury and harm of life’s bumpy path. They are not bad or evil, merely unemotional objects that can serve or strangle.

Will the human ever truly understand? Will we ever put down our flags to see there are no differences? Can we stop claiming, blaming and destroying, to discover that the world spins more fully when there are no barriers or walls.

If we do not learn, we shall again be a lost civilization:

An Egyptian pyramid

An Aztec empire

An empty cave dwelling

A Roman colosseum

A Greek parthenon

An Indigenous burial ground

Our ashes, no matter our color, gender, religion, or heritage, still blow in the wind when we die…

Our bones, skin and muscle become fertilizer as we break down in the earth – no superiority or class distinction spares the decomposing…

Our belongings collect dust, break down and lose all value…

Our homes sit vacant and empty, a hollow encasement of what was once a place to congregate…

We think ourselves wise and better than those before, yet, here we are again repeating the pattern of time eternal…

I come back to the opening discussion, can you sit with your life experience and memories to discover and choose the things in life that bring you joy, ignite passion and awaken your vibrancy to life?

The view in the rearview mirror can be used to uncover and light up the path before you. You are at choice, hit repeat over and over again, it will give you what you already know OR look back to dance forward with intention.

My challenge this week for you –

  1. Make a simple list of the things that bring you joy.
  2. Pick at least three of those things to DO MORE of.
  3. Decide how you will bring more of the things you enjoy into your daily life.
  4. Focus on what brings you joy, for what you focus upon becomes more.
  5. Forgive yourself and let go of any thing you are regretting and holding on to.
  6. This moment is a new moment – BE in it!

Until next week, enjoy your “Walking Naked Truth”...

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What is Your Truth…?

I quietly breathe in the sunset, yellow, red and orange hues kiss the clouds. They dance in sweet surrender upon the reflected ripples of the pond. Ducks scatter the image as they freely sculpt their own masterpiece. I sit in silent reverie, remembering why I started this blog. Why I love to flow upon the page, why I passionately dream for all beings a life of joy, peace, love and contentment in all moments.

Nature expresses with such purity and truth…

Today on my walk I marveled at how nature cycles. This time of year in Idaho, the cold seeps into the earth, it squelches the flow of sap in the trees and slows the water to an ebony molasses. The naked trees acquiesce to the white blanket of snow crystals. Yet, beneath all this layered quiet, I can feel the vibrancy of life, the rich smells of growth waiting for the warm sunshine of longer days. Humans like nature, have much that circulates below the surface. Hidden deep within lies the truth, the dreams, the passions and desires; all of it waiting to blossom, to expose, to share.

The layers of silence echo with stories only the quiet ones can hear….

“Walking Naked Truth”, what a bizarre title for a blog, right?!? Yet, I still love it after all these years, for it describes what I passionately wish for all people – To BE their true self from within. I describe the title more intimately in my “About” page –

Walking = In choosing to step forward, we keep our momentum in the present moment. Electing to be open to the possibilities and aware of that which we consciously choose.

Naked = Standing exposed, open, and completely present. Free of walls, attachments, expectations, secrets, or shame. Choosing to be vulnerable, with an open heart and soul. 

Truth = An inner knowing. A solid quiet space which resides within all. It vibrates with a sensation to share, and express in sincere, humble, integrity. Free of outside attachments, perceptions, expectations and judgments, it just is….

It is my personal belief that BEing our Naked Truth frees us to walk forth in life with passion, joy, and peace; open to the wonders of the world and each other. It un-encumbers us from staying stuck in victim, blame and shame. Embracing the truth propels us forward, walking towards a life of CHOICE.”

Everyday I marvel at how people struggle to BE their truth; to share what is really going on inside. Why? What are they afraid of? When did we forget how to share? A child does it quite easily, until they are told not to. A toddler freely expresses themselves, with no fear. As the years go by, the walls go up and the truth gets shut up inside. I experience that for many, they do not even know how to hear their personal truth anymore. It has become what they are told. It is what society, culture, friends and family say it should be. Squished into the innermost cavity of the body, it pulses with eager desire to freely express. To open up with exuberant passion, to unleash famished desires.

  • What if in this new decade you gave yourself permission to live life full on?
  • How much fun might you experience?
  • Can you imagine the freedom you could feel?
  • How might your relationships deepen?
  • What dreams could you bring to life?

Let’s play together! Let’s open up and share our individual truth, hopes, dreams and desires. Let’s dance with joyful abandon, sing with bravado, play with wild curiosity….

  • It starts with being quiet enough to hear and feel the truth which pulses within you.
  • In the quiet, start by asking yourself, “What do I feel in this moment?”
  • Then think briefly about something you are grateful for, notice what you feel in the new moment enriched by gratitude.
  • Play with a sad thought, an angry thought, an exciting thought, etc… Allow yourself to become familiar with how your body feels in each emotional experience. How your energy shifts. What your mind says and does. It is all about noticing and becoming aware.
  • Gift yourself with 10 minutes a day, allowing your mind, heart and soul to wander, to daydream and play – no agenda.
  • At first this may feel awkward, however as you continue to create time for it, you will begin to truly hear your own heart’s desire. Then you can build up the muscle to share with others.
  • Gradually increase the time, for in this open free flow, amazing ideas will spring forth. Inner connections with the true self will deepen and enrich.
What might you discover by awakening to your true self…?

Attached is a worksheet (click on image below to download) for you to use as you like. It will give you the space to really notice how you physically (body), mentally (mind) and emotionally (spirit) react. Becoming aware of your unique internal and external reactions, empowers you to begin to really hear and understand your inner truth. From this space, you get to joyously choose how you want to feel and be.

I am excited for all that we shall journey and share in 2020!!

May it be the start to you embracing and sharing with the world YOUR NAKED TRUTH…

Join me for more fun at The Beingness Project

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I Hear YOU…

  • As you read that title, what is your first response?
  • What do you hear your mind say the second you read it?
    • Yeah, sure you hear me!
    • No you don’t! No one really listens anymore.
    • I don’t really share, so how can you hear me.
    • ???

Have you ever noticed how quickly you start to think about what you are going to say to someone who is talking to you? There you stand formulating in your mind what you can say back. What’s the perfect thing to respond? When you do this, are you truly listening, sincerely hearing the person you are with?

If you are a parent, do you really listen to your child, no matter the age, to HEAR what they are sharing? Not just the words they speak, but the body language, the message sent from their eyes, tone, word choice, etc…

What about how you listen to a colleague, spouse/partner, friend, family member, stranger..? Do you listen differently depending on who is talking?

Have you ever noticed how much attention you will give to someone “important and powerful” by societal and cultural standards – yet when your child, friend, family member or co-worker share you only half way tune in? I observe this all the time.

Do you think you fool anyone with regard to your HEARING and Listening skills? People, especially the young and wise elders, KNOW when you are really listening or not. Just watch a baby who has a present or distracted parent. Observe your friend when you really sit and pay attention to their story versus being fidgety to battle for conversation rights. There is an intuitive knowing when someone is truly LISTENING and HEARING YOU.

I have watched and observed this for years and years. Noticing within my own behavior the expansion of my ability to truly HEAR. As I have gotten older and wiser, my ability to HEAR and LISTEN has increased, enriching my life in so many ways.

When I worked in a nursing home, daycare, restaurant, sales rep., customer service specialist, ropes course facilitator and classroom teacher – HEARING was key. Active, Present Listening enriched, expanded and opened all of these professions into glorious opportunities for co-learning and co-growing through genuine heartfelt sharing.

We all crave a safe place to share. The desire to be truly heard is as powerful as the desire to be seen. In the chaos and busyness it is often a challenge to get people to drop into TRUE sharing, however, I have learned that BEing completely present, making eye contact with sincerity and truly Listening opens the flood gates for powerful connection.

I strongly believe that one of the most important gifts I can give myself and others is to HEAR. To Listen with intense complete presence, shutting off my mind chatter. I absolutely LOVE the connection experienced when I truly listen – WOW.., it is intensely powerful. Full of surprises and new understandings.

What if today, you challenged yourself to slow down and really HEAR? What might you learn about your partner/spouse, friend, child, co-worker, etc..? How might you feel as you allow this true connection? What might you learn about yourself and others? Below are a couple of articles that briefly discuss Listening, I thought you might enjoy them.

What Great Listeners Actually Do” – Harvard Business Review

The Science of Listening” – Huffpost

Today’s Affirmation:

“I am a good listener, hearing with all of me in complete presence what other’s are sharing with me.”

Today’s Meditation:

Join me for a guided meditation

Today’s “Walking Naked Truth” Practice:

  • Today, slow down with awareness at least three times to truly LISTEN.
  • Notice how it shifts the experience.
  • Today, share at least three times with genuine honest sincerity – creating the energy of true connection.
  • Notice how you feel when you share your truth in vulnerable open presence.

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Touching YOU…

The title of this blog is likely to stir some reactions, however, I write about one of the most basic human desires and needs – to feel and share touch.

Touch opens and expands love, it communicates beyond any words…

It has been proven in studies that babies need touch to thrive. We do not grow out of this internal craving. The power, grace and gift of touch soothes our very BEing. It is my believe that we under estimate how much we yearn to be touched and to touch.

As a mother, I treasured the soft moments of holding my children, caressing their faces, massaging their backs while they fell asleep. In partnership there is nothing more glorious than the soft warm touch from your lover. Friends and family all blossom with the grace of touch, a hug hello, a touch on the arm to say thank you, a caring goodbye hug full of gratitude…

Touch is one of those things that is directly impacted by cultural, societal and religious “Expectations” and “Domestication”. Everyone is unique in their comfort zone with touch based upon their upbringing, life experience and perception of what touch means. Thus the journey with touch is one we carefully navigate.

I personally LOVE touch. I enjoy sharing it with those who are open to it. I also respect that many people have boundaries. This blog is an invitation to explore touch, to be open to it, to give and receive. Notice how it makes you feel to be touched, to share touch. As one of the five amazing senses we get to experience as humans, why would we not indulge ourselves to enjoy its powerful gift.

If you do not believe me in regard to the NEED for touch, just “Google” it and see what comes up – you might be surprised.

Today’s Affirmation:

I am a being of love, I enjoy sharing and receiving touch in a honoring, compassionate, caring way.

Today’s Meditation:

Join me for a guided meditation.

Today’s Walking Naked Truth Practice:

  • Play with touch today – see how it impacts others.
    • A sincere handshake with someone while making true eye contact (Seeing and Be Seen).
    • Hug a friend or family member.
    • If in a relationship caress your lovers face and see how they soften to absorb such attention.
    • Open to receive touch.
    • Touch a colleague’s arm during an interaction, a non-verbal expression of gratitude.
    • Etc….
  • At the end of the day reflect upon what you experienced.
  • If you are someone who finds touch uncomfortable, perhaps you can open to explore it with those you trust, for it will soothe and heal.

To explore the topic of touch more, go to – The BEingness Project.

May today be full of connection in beautiful ways that expand your life experience – Fawn

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Seeing YOU…

BEing your truth is an inside job. YOU get to let go of the taught critic who judges you from perspectives based on societal and culturally expectations and taught “Domestication”.

When you entered this world and were very young, you did not sit in front of the mirror criticizing yourself – YOU loved looking in the mirror, because it was fun to see YOU in action. Where did that self-love and appreciation go? When did YOU start accepting what others said about you, comparing yourself to the images on TV, in movies, magazines, giving all your power to those outside of you.

To love life, be at peace, experience joy and find true contentment – YOU must come home to Seeing YOU with eyes of love, acceptance, gratitude and sincere appreciation. Genuine Self-love is the gateway back home to the Walking Naked Truth of YOU. The gateway to child-like joy, innocence, curiosity, playfulness and complete acceptance.

Close your eyes, recall the playful loving child you were, isn’t it time to live from that pure loving, joyful, open space again???

This will require you to let go, unwire and unplug the cultural dogma and societal bombardments. To practice every day LOVING YOU fully until it becomes a way of BEing. YOU are a unique BEing, no one else can be YOU. There is only ONE YOU on this planet, a special combination based upon your individual life journey. YOU are an Exclusive, Exemplary soul, here to share the gifts, presence and way of BEing that only YOU can share. Isn’t it time for YOU to SEE the true YOU? Isn’t it time to Celebrate the Amazing person YOU are? Today is the invitation to do exactly that!!

Today’s Affirmation: (fill in the blanks)

I am a(n) ____________________ (loving, amazing, incredible, beautiful, handsome, etc…) BEing. I love how I share and show up in this world, offering _________________ (kindness, love, joy, etc…). It is FUN BEing ME!

Today’s Meditation:

Join me for a guided meditation.

Today’s Walking Naked Truth practice: ( I encourage you to do this everyday, until you come back home to your childlike self-love)

  • Every time you see yourself in the mirror, stop and say 3 or more positive things to yourself about YOU – truly mean them.
  • Make a list of all the ways you amazingly show up in the world.
  • Before you go to bed look in the mirror and share genuinely with love at least 3 ways you showed up for yourself and others today.

If you would like to explore this even more, go to – The Beingness Project.

May today BE full of self-love, self-appreciation, self-adoration, and celebration. In gratitude, Fawn

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Truth Embraces Change…

The one thing that is for sure, change occurs. It is a part of everything. Everyday there is change. Seasons, aging, growing, learning, experiencing, building, expansion… If we embrace this truth, we free ourselves to enjoy, relax and let go of the need to control.

If you are a parent, would you ever wish to stop your child’s expansion into adulthood? As a child once yourself, would you have wanted your parents to control your becoming? From birth we are changing. We can fight it or embrace it with joy, knowing it is a part of life.

As I look in the mirror seeing the gray hair, the smile lines, the change in my skin, teeth, body, I am at choice to LOVE what I see, celebrating the grace and gifts of aging – or – I can fight it, hide it, color and mask it. Why? Who do I deceive in this denial?

I personally love watching the seasons flow. Each season has such unique expressions. There is continual change from one day to the next. The ducklings become adult ducks. The leaves and blossoms arrive to cycle into death and back again. Even in places where the seasons do not shift, there is change, nature is perpetually morphing.

Today what if you accepted the Truth that life is full of Change? What if you not only embraced this reality, you actually chose to celebrate it. How would such a shift impact your life? Would you stop worrying, stop trying to control, relax and allow?

People change, thus relationships change… Jobs shift and adapt to what comes next… Everyone exists on the timeline of life, aging is a part of the journey… Your life adventure infuses you with new understandings, growth, discoveries, lessons and glorious experiences – how fun to embrace with Truthful knowing that you are Changed by all of it.

Today’s Affirmation:

I am one who embraces change with curiosity, openness, trust and faith. As I flow with Change, I am free.

Today’s Meditation:

Join me for a guided meditation

Today’s Walking Naked Truth Practice:

  • Today notice your reactions to change. As you notice, decide if you want to react like a victim or celebrate with trust.
  • Begin to become aware of how “fighting change” has impacted your life.

If you would like to explore change even more, go to The BEingness Project.

May today be full of your Truthful Expression, Fawn

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YOU are the Artist…

If one was to look through the lens of the artist, what would the canvases of your life look like? Would they express and share your truth? Or would they be a mirage, a glorified fantasy to make others feel comfortable?

Let’s get sincerely truthful here – YOU are the Artist of your life.

Each and every day YOU put the colors upon your fresh canvas. YOU hold the magic paintbrush that allows others to be a part of the scene or not. YOU elect what will imbue with infiniteness upon the canvas, or smudge off to disappear.

I am daily amazed at how many people choose to carry around a multitude of canvases, sharing with others the stories that burden, limit, and hinder their life. They allow the paints of blame and shame to smear onto the new canvas, creating again the lines you think you must color within.

What if today YOU allowed yourself to see the canvas as clear and clean of all past debris? What if YOU chose to get out all the colors? Then, what if YOU selected what would be on the canvas and what would not?

Can YOU BE your TRUTH upon the canvas? Can YOU allow yourself to explore the exquisite artist palette of life, free of worry, fear, denial, judgment, criticism and expectation? Can YOU allow yourself to be passionately creative?

I invite you to imagine, what would your unique vibrant TRUTH look like upon the free space of your life canvas. Today’s canvas is only here once. Yesterday’s canvas is complete. Tomorrows has yet to arrive. Only today in all your sweet moments can the rich hues, colors, depth and expression present itself. At the end of the day, you will lay your paintbrush down to rest, clearing it of all residue, so it is fresh for a new day.

YOU are the Artist of your life. I challenge you with a joyful smile to paint your TRUTH. To express upon your canvas today the raw, vulnerable, real you – from inside out.

What will the Art Gallery of YOUR life look like….?

Today’s Affirmation:

I am freely and joyfully the artist of my life, expressing with truth, love and passion upon the canvas of my life.

Today’s Meditation:

Join me for a guided meditation

Today’s Walking Naked Truth Practice:

  • Today carry with you a piece of paper where you write down the things you experience and feel that you want to paint on your canvas. Be clear with the TRUTH that you have CHOICE, do not put down things that you do not wish to perpetuate or put into more permanent existence.
  • Play with this, maybe you cover the page with words, little images, perhaps you jot down feelings, whatever will help you to remember what shall be painted on your unique canvas for this day.
  • At the end of the day look at your paper canvas – absorb the awareness that YOU are the Artist. YOU have Choice as to what goes onto your artistic expression of life.

If you would like to explore more deeply this truth, check out The Beingness Project.

May you freely and passionately “Walk Your Naked Truth” – Fawn Caveney