It is five in the morning, I sit perched upon my bed, a writer’s roost to bask in the moon’s glow. I breathe quietly into the layered silence that emanates, filling the space with expansive questioning. My moon effulgence is sweet, yet, I know it is fleeting. Already sounds of traffic encroach upon the scene, foreboding the ticking time bomb we title reality.
I allow my gaze to partake of the sparkling moon dust that skitters across the hushed pond. All lights, except for the dimmed computer screen are extinguished. Maybe I can somehow prolong the radiance, delay the initiation of the emerging sun. Can I hold my breath, pull the chord that entangles the moon, beseech it to stay perched for my eye to see and my heart to feel?
I suppose she may wish to rest, to rejuvenate for her next rising. Taking her turn in the celestial dance, being careful to not overstay her welcome. I am charmed by her mysterious illumination, never does she fear the dark, instead she welcomes it like a cloak of glad tiding.
She accepts that often she is unnoticed, a mere sliver in the sky, bashful in her monthly cycle. Once upon a time we honored her, knowing that her waltz in the galaxy was as important as the suns tango and the rains boogie, all essential in the abundance promenade.
I sit now enveloped in the complete emptiness of her departure. Silently she slipped away, no bravado goodbye, just a quiet last wink to those who glanced her way. I hold that gesture as I rise like the sun into the manmade chaos. It’s my glowing reminder in the anarchy of human civilization that all is impermanent, fleeting, a mere glint in infinite darkness.
A moon bath caressed me into this day. I lathered and washed infusing my skin with her radiant energy. Armoring myself against the onslaught of human preoccupation, the ignorant forgetfulness that we are an intrinsic part of the whole.
Thank you moon glow, your touch has lifted me. I shall not forsake your gift, nor ignore your virtues.
At the young age of fifty-five, I find myself joyously standing in the center of that which has been and that which is preparing to blossom. An eloquent juxtaposition that feels like a merry-go-round spinning with exquisite suspended scenes.
In addition to my age gracing me with the realization that a lot of life has been lived, my children now soar off into their own adventures, pushing me out of the nest. As the truth becomes absorbed cellularly I find a gleefulness that encapsulates the carefree wild child I was and the passionate wise woman I am. Uniting and marrying the two for prophetic adventuring. A smile spreads, curiosity ignites, rhapsodic imagination takes flight.
In My Second Half…
I know I am worthy and divinely perfect as I am…
I unabashedly live, love, and explore…
I witness the beauty in the mirror, celebrating the gifts of time…
I gleefully embrace my enough-ness, freeing myself of unsolicited opinions…
I canter at full speed into the arena of my passionate dreams…
I leap with complete faith, burying with fervor the crib of regret…
I acknowledge with great gaiety that I am a success and always have been…
I sever the twine issued by judges, critics and fearful fanatics…
I am free to BE me, gyrating with grace into the infinite expansion of self…
I pledge to live engorged at the table of life…
In my second half, I welcome the rhapsody Carpe Diem…
Yes, everyday is a fresh stretched canvas. A posed pirouette. A barren page. A ballad awaiting melody. Oh what delighted mirth awaits in My Second Half…
As I joyously inhale the rich scents of Spring, I smile at the magic of the pond surface, it invites me to become mesmerized by its soft masquerade. Pretending to be the cerulean blue sky, budding trees and patchwork clouds, until a duck exposes its truth.
I sit in contemplation, why do I write? I explore this topic with sincerity, for I am clear, I do not wish to be an inbox pest, or an in your face “look at me” bombardment in this technological age. Writing has been my calm in life’s storms. Words whisper on the wind, thunder in my dreams, offer safe harbor for my truths and ignite my desires. Writing is my home.
It occurred to me yesterday that there is a poignant difference between words that are meant to be READ and words that are written for one to FEEL. I put my words to page for the latter, hoping they may touch a part of you that knows and remembers. Like a firefly in a dark room, my writing arrives to kindle your heart, mirror your magnificence, and celebrate your existence. My words wish to be your friend, whether they resonate or not, it does not matter, they arrive free of expectation or judgment.
Words beckon me, they arrive in dreams, promenade on the wind, sparkle in sun rays and wink with the moon. As far back as my small human brain can go, they have called, beseeching me to hear, to feel, to know their exquisite texture, tone and truth.
A composer hears music, an artists woos colors, a singer ignites sound, a dancer feels cadence, a writer breathes words. I write because I must, whether or not anyone reads my sentences matters not to my persistent muse… As a willow will bend in the wind, the colloquy shall flow from within, arriving on any inviting surface.
“I do not write to convince you, I write to invite you…
I do not write to ignite your approval, I write to remind you of your magnificence…
I do not write to tell you what to do, I write to celebrate you…
I do not write to tell you something is wrong, I write to empower you to choose yourself…
I do not write to give you 7 Steps to a better life, I write to inform you that you are already enough…
I do not write to critique your life, I write to reflect back your perfection…
I do not write to magnify your discontent, I write so you may embrace your worthiness…
I do not write for you to read the words, I write in hopes that you may feel the words…
I do not write to get your attention, I write because I must, it is who I am…”
As discussion begins to formulate around going back to work, I find myself in deep reflection. What did I learn about myself during this time? How do I feel as I stare down the barrel of returning to the 9-5 game established in this society?
My family and friends would easily share with you that I have never been very good at staying within the lines of “societal expectations”. Since I was a child there is a different drum that beats in my heart, like a far off voice, it beckons me to follow my heart’s desire, or as Joseph Campbell’s famous quote wisely shares, “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”
What a tightrope tap dance it has been for me. Like doing the “Hokey Pokey” I sometimes put my little foot in, however, more often I am yanking it out quickly, fearing it will get sucked into the quick sand of society. So many times along this journey I have quietly wished that I could be “content” with the cookie cutter society we’ve established, “just “Baaa…” along Fawn, follow the flock, be happy with what is, stop walking off the path,” I whisper to myself. The voice of “reason,” as some would call it, became even louder when I brought children into this world. In reflection, I wonder at moments, what if, I had chosen a path more in line with my values, like the movie “Captain Fantastic”. Of course part of my dream involved not doing it alone, I wished for that partner who also desired a sustainable life upon the land. Sooo.., I gave up on that dream, or better stated, I put it on the shelf where it has collected dust and cobwebs for years.
This unexpected time to truly just be with myself and my children has graced me with the opportunity to dust off the values and characters on the shelf; informing the spiders that they will no longer keep them company. In complete honesty, I started to dig into the protected chambers of my heart and soul when my son left for college three years ago, for his his sister was not far behind him. What did I desire for my second half of life? Where did I wish to live? Create, share, explore..? That time is now!
Pulling out my tightrope dancing shoes, gathering my dusted off values, passions and dreams I sit down to visit. Like grass erupting through concrete, the lusted for aspirations blossom anew. Pulling out pen and paper, my forever best friends, I make a list. What did I love about this “stay at home” time?
I loved not commuting to work.
I relished the quietness, listening to the layers of silence as they expanded.
I fell in love all over again with putting words to page, allowing my muse to dictate the flow.
I joyously celebrated the dream to “work & live” in the same place.
My body, mind and spirit relaxed into the beautiful simplicity, the washing away of chaos, stress and worry.
I celebrated the chance to only let in what inspired me, stirred my desires and ignited my passions.
Relishing the completely present time with my children, sharing meal creations, conversations, movies, games and walks.
Letting my body move without an alarm clock or tight schedule.
Sinking more deeply into the grace that nature offers in her infinite wisdom.
The gift to stay away from the chaos of the city, keeping my distance from the negative energy created by stress and angst.
The chance to play with new ideas, free of demands and interruption.
Allowing my quiet introverted soul to breathe deeply, embracing the peace that always is…
What did my list tell me? Certainly I can go back to “normal”, get back on the merry go round of commuting, punching in and out on the time clock, maintain a home, car, blah, blah, blah… Or I could begin to seriously listen to that far off voice. Encouraging the whispers of my heart and soul to rise in serenade, to crescendo into the new future.
I am curious, as we continue to navigate the COVID-19 phenomena,
What are you learning about yourself?
What is important?
What are your desires and dreams?
Do you want to go back to normal?
Were you happy?
Is this a new opportunity?
A chance to reflect, dust off forgotten wishes?
I shall conclude today with another powerful quote from Joseph Campbell –
“We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it is all about.”
During this unique time in our world I hear and read everywhere the desire to return to normal. It’s as though people are holding their breath because the air presently available is foul and encroaching on life as we know it.
As I lay in bed last night, watching the bright moon glow, I found myself contemplating,
Why are we waiting?
Why do we want to return to what was?
What if there is actually a new world that awaits us with positive changes?
What if this is a rare opportunity not a curse?
I do experience that people enjoy a routine. They like familiar and predictable. I am guilty of liking some simple routines myself, such as journaling every morning, the way I have started my day for over thirty years. I also relish my warm cup of Jasmine Green tea that accompanies my pen and paper in the quiet dawning. I love walking in the grace and splendor of the natural world, to feel my body flow with the rhythm of nature’s song. Yes, I have my daily pleasures that make my heart smile…
I can honestly say though, that I often query with my heart, soul and mind – “Does this daily habit serve me? Is it helping me to co-create a more joyful expansive life?” If that search uncovers that I am doing it for others, because I “should” (yuck), or to meet some outside expectation that I do not care about, then I stop and let it go. This is a constant dance of reflective exploring, an aspect of life that morphs as I grow.
As I journaled this morning, it struck me like a lightning bolt – “What if it is not about WAITING! Instead, it is a glorious chance to learn how to BE. Maybe for the first time in your life you get to just BE. Feeling into the rich expansive layers of who you are. Taking this time to explore the nooks and crannies of your intimate heart, soul, and quieted mind.
Throughout my life journey most of the people I meet do not want to sit in their own quiet. They do not want to be still, to hear the silence, feel their own heartbeat. When I broach the subject of just BEing, I am jolted by the fear and discomfort that presents itself. This saddens me, for only in the quiet space can the inner self have a chance to bubble up, the unexplored dreams surface and the hidden desires show up in technicolor.
Yesterday on my walk, I sat by the river watching freshly released seed pods float by, like watching the flames of a campfire, I was transfixed by their tango upon the water. A pair of osprey serenaded, dancing upon the wind currents of a cloudless azure sky. To complete the perfect setting, vivid green willow buds burst upon the exquisite scene. I welcomed the serenity, breathing it in with momentous gratitude. I allowed myself to float in the sweet reverie, grateful to Just BE…
Today I invite you to BE, allow yourself the grace to feel, breathe deep, listen to your inner being, ponder the thoughts that drift up out of the quiet internal space.
Of course as we know, it is always your choice. You can WAIT, hoping for change, expanding the sensation of frustration and worry OR you can open up to feel into the NOW moment, content to Just BE.
What if this time is not about Waiting, instead it is an offer to BE???…
I sat straight up in the small wooden chair. It reminded me an old childhood school chair. The room was empty, could I actually call it a room, for there were no walls and it went on forever. The space was just vast endless blue gray light. Only me and my chair. “Where was I? Why was I here? How do I escape?” I felt weighted down in the chair, my legs unresponsive to my minds tingling panic. I encouraged myself to calm down, to breathe, to trust and let go of fear.
Like a gigantic movie screen the space in front of me lit up with a life sized scene. It was me. Dressed in my favorite blue and red jeans with flowing light blue blouse speckled with daisies. My hair was blowing in every direction, encircling my young face and my feet as always were dirty with no shoes. The six year old me stepped closer, I was transfixed by her gaze and unable to look away.
She stopped in front of me, reaching out her small little hands to stroke my cheek. Our eyes stayed locked together, a mirror of soft sky blue. In her eyes I saw such deep love, compassion, and spirited joy. They begged me to relax, to let go, to trust and be present. I felt the emotions welling up in me, a tear slid down my face as I leaned into her tiny hand, so warm, soft and gentle. The fear slid out of my body, disappearing like mist in the infinite space.
“My dear Fawn, do you remember?” she asked. Her young voice broke the still silence. Her gentle caress continued to wipe the moist tears from my face. My eyes answered her question with confusion. “What was I to remember? Had I made a promise I forgot? Then it struck me, was I dead? Had I left my physical body and now was stuck in this random space with my young self.” Her vague question had jolted my mind into high drive, which started the generator of fear again.
“Shhhhh…, it’s okay”,she soothed, continuing to touch my forehead and gray hair. I took a deep breath and relaxed back into her presence. I tried to move my lips, but they seemed paralyzed as I processed this experience. “Do you remember the dreams we used to have, the adventures we were going to go on, the books we were going to write, the places we were going to see and photograph?” a giggle filled her body as she asked the questions. Before I could answer she placed her tiny finger on my lips to stop me, softly cooing, “Watch with me“. The space lit up with a panoramic scene, the young me running barefoot down my favorite path towards our small little house tucked in the woods.
I was singing as I bounced along the trail. I looked so healthy and vibrantly alive. Free and wild in my mind, heart and soul. I completely believed that anything was possible, I could go where ever I wanted, do what I dreamed and see all the places I could imagine. The world was the frontier, full of adventures, people and new experiences.
Everything froze, washing the image away. Then suddenly there I was again, this time in my late teens. I sat under my thinking tree, a magnificent red pine that stoically held me perched above the gurgling river below. A smile crossed my face as I remembered. Warm salty tears kissed the edges of my eyes, tears of gratitude, love, joy, sadness, loss, and regret. The weight of her small hand on my shoulder kept me present, despite the urge to slip into the quiet space of a time gone by.
“Go there” she pleaded . “Feel into what we were thinking, dreaming, feeling, wanting. Remember”, her words drifted off.
I felt myself remembering, my spirited body became filled with a blend of loss, desire and ignited hope. The sobs escaped through smiling lips and undecipherable laughter. The dreams of yesterday, of the little girl and young woman permeated my very essence. In my minds eye and hearts page, I saw the books I dreamed to write, I witnessed the exploration of new places, the connection with people around the globe, learning, sharing, bridging humanity with humanity and humanity with nature.
A gasp rose up and escaped my emotionally racked body. Like a bursting comet it hit me, “I still dreamed to connect humanity, to awaken people to their unique magnificence, to bring them home to their inner state of being, awakening them to their heart and souls desires.”
It all flushed through me, the remembered awareness that nature connected us, healed and reminded us of our true inner essence.
Bridge building, that’s what I felt called to share. The bridge between human and nature, the bridge between the inner self and outer being, the bridge between all humanity, exposing our similarities no matter our walk of life or place of existence.
I looked up into the innocent wise face of my younger self, she smiled, running her velvety hand down my cheek. She leaned in, kissed my forehead and disappeared. I sat frozen, uncertain what to feel or do. My being was digesting, absorbing the intense experience. In my ear I heard her softly whisper, “Thank you for remembering, take gentle care of you and I will see you again soon.”
I sat there mesmerized by my own vibrant memories. Rekindling the wild child, the wild woman in me. Closing my eyes, I took in a tender quiet breath. As I released the cleansing air from my lungs, I blinked my tired eyes to life, uncertain in the moment what was “real” or a “dream”. I laid there, feeling into the gift from my younger self.
To be continued…
Until then, what if –
You sat in an empty room with your younger self, viewing the cinema of your youth, what would you witness, learn, remember?
What would your younger self show you, tell you, share with you?
I wish I could put it in a bottle for you. A special bottle, unique to you, one that when opened, would release the rich vapors of peace, faith, love and joy. Your body like a dry sponge would absorb the craved sensations, replacing all fear, worry, doubt and discomfort. Like fresh oxygen for your lungs, the healing vapors would fill you up with the inner knowing that all is well. You can and will make it through this time.
I’ve been here before. While it is vastly different, it also drips of immense similarity. Twelve years ago I walked the tightrope of uncertainty. Worry nagged, pulled and poked at the corners of my mind, my head a pin cushion to the uncertainties in my life.
I clung to my home with every raw finger nail I had left. I applied to every possible job opportunity that might work. I topped the charts in creative cooking, stretching the rice beyond its palatable enjoyment.
Despite all my efforts, sleepless nights, fearful pacing and quiet praying, I was at the end of the timeline. The bank repossessed the home where my children were born. The bank quietly towed away our vehicle. My son was finishing 3rd grade, my daughter kindergarten. Standing solitarily in the middle of my home, I breathed a final good bye to life as I knew it and stepped into what came next…
Fear is a massively powerful virus, it will eat you from the inside out. It will age you, turning brown hair gray. It has no prejudice. It does not care how far it spreads. And it exponentially grows, creeping into every crevice.
I stand on the other side of all this. Blessed to examine this life changing time in the rearview mirror of my life. March 2007 to May 2011 turned our world upside down and inside out. I grew up! I learned that the human spirit is “stronger than it thinks”, that together we can keep stepping. Sometimes life is trying to give you something more, even though it feels like life is being ripped out of you.
Today, unlike the financial crisis of 2008-2009, we are ALL in this together. Today, there is worldwide compassion. Today, I get notifications from companies that they will work with me financially. Today, we are interconnected globally.
My humbling journey twelve years ago gifted me in ways that words cannot express. It did change my life, it did push me up against the wall, it did give me gray hair, it did teach me what is truly important.
I wish I could bottle it up for you. A special bottle, unique to you, one that when opened, would release the rich vapors of peace, faith, love and happiness. I know, truly I know that –
What you most desire to feel is already within you. It cannot be bought or sold…
You are stronger than you think…
Within you lies a peaceful space, one that holds preciously your dreams and desires...
This time on our planet can be an opportunity, a chance to reflect, to notice, to appreciate, to choose…
You are not alone…
Here is your bottle – please open it with complete peace, faith and love…
I gingerly stepped out onto the effervescent ice. Shivering in my nakedness, the breeze pricked my skin to life, while it soothed my heart. Stepping fully out onto what appeared to be ice, I realized with shock that it was actually a two-way mirror. In the reflecting light I could see myself, my raw vulnerable body lit up by sunlight, my graying hair floating with the winds sweet caress. As I gazed down I could see through the mirror, taking in panoramic scenes of life upon earth. A movie reel of humanity.
I stopped frozen in place. Forgetting my exposure. Losing all sense of place and time. I watched the scene below me with a raging desire to understand. The movie played on, the cast of characters filled the stage, humans and the natural world. Scrutinizing with focus through the flash of my own reflection, I witnessed the world of paradoxical mirrors.
What I witnessed and grew to understand marveled me. Nature played us, even though we thought ourselves mighty and smarter, it merely mirrored back to us our own behaviors and way of being upon this land.
It is the predator and prey – the lion and gazelle…
It is the convulsing spew and soothing balm – the volcano and gentle warm breeze…
It is the fierce earth altering storm and gentle nourishing rain – the hurricane and dancing dew…
It is the destroyer and healer – earthquake and lavender field…
It is a killer and life giver – drought and sprouting plant…
It is light and dark – sunrise and obscured moon…
It is destructively ugly and enchantingly stunning – tornado swath and meadow of poppies…
It is harmonious and hostile – a forest ecosystem and inferno fire…
It is inspiring and disheartening – a rainbow and infestation of locust…
As I sat upon the shimmering surface, engrossed by the unfolding action below me, I felt tears, laughter, joy, sorrow, hope, despair… The breadth of my human emotions spanned the galaxy of possibilities. Never before had I been so keenly aware of natures paradoxical dance. It moved me from within, it frightened and fascinated.
All of sudden everything went black, a curtain pulled over my eyes. I blinked furiously, hoping to find light. An intense spark from afar expanded across the infinite space, clearing the slate before me. No longer did I see nature playing on the screen below, now I witnessed humans…
I gasped at the scenes, the human actors mirrored nature or was it nature mirroring the human?
A man beating his wife – predator and prey
Sludge from a factory, a mother caressing the face of her child – convulsing spew and soothing balm
A massive garbage dump, a woman watering her small garden – fierce earth altering storm and gentle nourishing rain
The bulldozing of a farm, the harvesting of herbs – destroyer and healer
The murder of another human, the caring craft of a surgeon – killer and life giver
The acceptance and love of another, the hate and judgment of others – light and dark
A child being molested, a child being cradled with love – destructively ugly and enchantingly stunning
A family dining together, a riot in the streets – harmonious and hostile
A person creating homeless shelters, a person ignoring a starving child – inspiring and disheartening
Again, I found myself swooning with a kaleidoscope of emotions. I sat frozen, unsure of what to feel, do, or say… The darkness swooshed in, this time I was calm, welcoming its closure and end. As the light presented itself, I quietly watched it expand, fearful and yet curious. The surface below me was solid now, a frosted, smooth white surface that went on forever. Above me the sky illuminated in glorious shades of blue, while the sun warmed my skin.
I stood up, allowing the gentle breeze to clear my mind. Then it struck me, like a bright shocking lightening bolt,
“What if human beings changed? Would the natural world mirror our choices? Could we begin a new cycle of cooperative co-existence? If nature mirrors us or vice versa, then it was possible, right?”
“Can humans change? Can we learn to live upon this planet with respect, gratitude and honor? Can we peruse our past to change the future?”
As a young girl I loved to sit at my small dark wood desk, resting underneath the solo window of my bedroom. A breeze spiraling in with sounds of the outside world. I would sit in that quiet reverie contemplating life, listening to the birds, the trees, the layers of silence. Feeling safe and held by the home which had stood strong since its construction during the great depression. I often wondered about the hands and hearts that built the large log cabin I lived in. They were on the road, away from family, working physically hard every day to send money home to those they loved. The Civilian Conservation Corps set up during the depression by President Franklin D. Roosevelt left a trail of crumbs across this nation in the form of log cabins, tree plantings, bridge building, forest fire fighting and so much more. I was gifted at age nine to move into one of these historic homes, it cradled me with stoic wisdom. In my heart, I shall always feel, hear, smell and resonate with the home and land that “built me”.
Today as I sit upon my fifteen dollar wicker garage sale chair, I am blessed to feel the soft caress of a spring breeze, watch the ripples on the pond and hear the song of birds intermixed with the distant buzz of traffic. This sweet little sanctuary is tucked in the center of a busy city, a diamond hidden in the hard concrete that swaddles it. I watch and listen as people walk by on the nature trail across the pond, they meander a path sandwiched between the Boise River and the planned suburban neighborhood. I wonder what they are thinking at this interesting time in our world. The dogs with them merrily celebrate the chance to play with their human being, living completely in the present moment as always in joyful glee and curiosity.
I get to sit here doing what I love, putting word to page, because the world is on “lockdown”, a time of shutting away to protect ourselves and each other from the COVID-19 pandemic. It is a sad and scary time and yet it is also an opportunity to slow down, reflect, feel and notice what is most important.
In the last few days I have noticed more families than ever before on the nature path. I have actually observed teenagers and young people, a rare sighting in the wooded arena. The natural world has become the safe zone, a place we can stretch our legs and allow movement to soothe the inner nagging fears. In the last few days I have watched my own children who are now young adults, play games, create art, read books, and for my son, prepare to finish his junior year of college online.
Personally I have found myself deeply searching what truly matters to me. While I am blessed to be off the treadmill of daily expectations and busy-ness, I tour what beckons my heart and soul? What do I dream to live and experience before I leave this planet? What makes me smile and feel vibrantly alive?
I have chuckled at the answers to these questions, for they are not a surprise. Instead they return full circle to the same dreams as that young girl sitting beneath her windowsill at her little wooden desk. I am still a simple person, a content introspective quiet soul. I find great joy in noticing the subtle changes in a flower that has started its blooming journey. Peace rises and percolates within me for the consistent grace and flow of nature, its tenacity and on going perseverance. Its exudes courage and strength as it bends and furls in response to the impacts of humans and mother nature. Like us, it is often at the mercy of what gets hurled upon it. The ebb and flow of tides perpetuate across the globe despite the human struggles at this time. Nature endures, we endure…
Nature mirrors for me what is possible.
To sprout and become in adversity.
To radiate beauty in the midst of chaos.
To serenade in perfect harmony amid the onslaught of man’s machines.
To acquiesce with perseverance and complete faith…
Like a fallen leave floating in forced surrender upon the turbulent waters of a fast moving river…
In time it shall eddy in quiet stillness, catching it’s breath, taking in the view…
Rising, falling, twisting, flipping, floating, where and when shall its journey end..?
Only to begin again…
~ Fawn Caveney
In this unexpected challenging time, what are you noticing about yourself and the life you live?
I am curious what you might be discovering as you are forced to slow down and BE?
Are you able to feel into gratitude for the hidden blessings?
Has your compassion expanded or contracted?
How can you use this time to reconnect to the self, ignite dreams?
What are the creative ways you can connect with others?
In the surrender can you find the inner peace that resides within?
For me, in this moment, I have been allowed the time to remember. To come home to the quiet little girl dreams. Sure, I could go down the path of fear, it is there tapping on my door. How would that serve me, or those I love? As I breathe in deeply, feeling the truth that each moment is pure grace, never to return again, I choose to hear, listen, feel and notice. How do I wish to spend the next moment? As always we are at choice to BE or react.
I am curious, do you allow yourself the quiet reflection time to mosey within the recesses of your thoughts, memories and life snapshots?
Do you take the opportunity to truly notice what makes you smile? What expands your heart with the warm sensation of love?
Our memories offer us a deeper understanding of what makes us happy. What brings us joy and ignites a passion for life. We can use our memories to co-create more in life, choosing with intention to expand and do that which makes us happy, fills us with love, peace and true contentment.
As I allow myself to connect the dots of what lights me up, I discover a continuity over the fifty plus years I have journeyed:
Quality time with people I enjoy and love.
Being enveloped in nature.
Putting words to the page.
Sitting near a crackling fire on a crisp day/night.
Feeling my body come alive when it works out, goes for a walk, magnificently functions as a healthy unit.
Preparing healthy luscious meals for myself and others.
Learning and expanding in the areas I find interesting and have curiosity about.
Listening to music and feeling the emotions it stirs.
Enjoying the warmth of a gentle touch or reaching out to touch another.
The pure eloquent perfection of the rising or setting sun, bright light of the moon and stars, gentle breeze, harsh wind…
The deep truth I find is that if I peel back the layers and feel into life, I discover that I find the greatest joy in the simple pure things. The genuineness of true connection, the pureness of nature, the sincerity of presence and being.
At this time in my life I am hugging in gratitude the amazing gifts of my past. This includes the challenges, for they give life texture, growth, expansion and becoming. I have been blessed to experience immense diversity in my professional and personal life, a very colorful tapestry that makes me smile. While I gratefully embrace my past, I excitedly glance into the future, what comes next, how will life unfold, what shall become.
Isn’t life truthfully always at this crossroad?
We assume that we have many tomorrows, yet we do not know. We take for granted that things will stay the same, yet, change is always a given. We are a funny creature, for we fear change, while begging for it.
In truth, we stand always in the dynamic paradox of what was, is and shall be. A fine dance that is stamped by unexpected percussion within the symphony of life
When I feel back into my life there is a reoccurring joyous sensation about getting into the zone of allowing words to flow upon a page. To experience a connection that is not my brain thinking about what I should write, instead it is a glorious flow that seems to bubble up from some unknown space. I suppose some people take drugs to feel such a high, for me it is a delicious vibration of oneness, a twilight zone where the world stops and only the fluidity of words exist. The other night I was blessed to dip into such a zone. Below is what flowed forth, may it stir within in you a curiosity to question.
“When will we understand the message of time eternal? The infinite wisdom of all civilizations, populations, people and souls?
Our most intimate desires and passions all lead back to the same for every being…
We ache to love and be loved, to truly see another and to vulnerably be seen; all blemishes and raw expressions in full view.
We crave belonging, embodied in a community who journeys our ups and downs, picking us up and letting us fall as we learn to fly.
To feel vibrant, alive, dynamic and of service – needed and wanted by others.
To feel healthy and happy, a reflection of how we honor ourselves and others.
If all “things and stuff” were washed away by the seas of time and we stood naked and exposed, what memories would pick us up? Keep us going? Beckon us forth? It would be the real moments of connected love, the shared joy with others, the sense of belonging.
Power leaves us holding nothing but empty resources which wash and burn away…
Money can buy everything but the sincere heart of others. It does not fill the soul with memories, or keep us warm in the envelope of belonging.
Stuff only makes us smile when it connects us with others, with those we love and cherish. The perfect shoe will not find the prince. The eloquent jewels will not make the heart dance. The stunning outfit will only remind one of the emptiness within.
Power, money, resources, all enrich, make more, co-create and expand when shared with genuine love, grace and respect.
They enrich the joys and pleasures shared with others. They can help to ease the injury and harm of life’s bumpy path. They are not bad or evil, merely unemotional objects that can serve or strangle.
Will the human ever truly understand? Will we ever put down our flags to see there are no differences? Can we stop claiming, blaming and destroying, to discover that the world spins more fully when there are no barriers or walls.
If we do not learn, we shall again be a lost civilization:
An Egyptian pyramid
An Aztec empire
An empty cave dwelling
A Roman colosseum
A Greek parthenon
An Indigenous burial ground
Our ashes, no matter our color, gender, religion, or heritage, still blow in the wind when we die…
Our bones, skin and muscle become fertilizer as we break down in the earth – no superiority or class distinction spares the decomposing…
Our belongings collect dust, break down and lose all value…
Our homes sit vacant and empty, a hollow encasement of what was once a place to congregate…
We think ourselves wise and better than those before, yet, here we are again repeating the pattern of time eternal…“
I come back to the opening discussion, can you sit with your life experience and memories to discover and choose the things in life that bring you joy, ignite passion and awaken your vibrancy to life?
The view in the rearview mirror can be used to uncover and light up the path before you. You are at choice, hit repeat over and over again, it will give you what you already knowORlook back to dance forward with intention.
My challenge this week for you –
Make a simple list of the things that bring you joy.
Pick at least three of those things to DO MORE of.
Decide how you will bring more of the things you enjoy into your daily life.
Focus on what brings you joy, for what you focus upon becomes more.
Forgive yourself and let go of any thing you are regretting and holding on to.
This moment is a new moment – BE in it!
Until next week, enjoy your “Walking Naked Truth”...