Today I choose to share a bit differently, allowing my Muse to expose itself more freely and vulnerably. I thank you for joining me, taking the time to read my heartfelt expression upon the page. I welcome the opportunity to connect, please comment or share your thoughts….
I will never forget the day I asked all my junior high students the question, “Who wrote the definition for perfect?” They looked at me with furrowed brow or comical smiles, for they were used to my zany questions. Of course no one had an answer to this strange inquiry. According to Wikipedia, the word perfection goes back to Aristotle –
The oldest definition of “perfection”, fairly precise and distinguishing the shades of the concept, goes back to Aristotle. In Book Delta of the Metaphysics, he distinguishes three meanings of the term, or rather three shades of one meaning, but in any case three different concepts.
That is perfect:
1. which is complete — which contains all the requisite parts
2. which is so good that nothing of the kind could be better
3. which has attained its purpose.
Following this introductory question I continued with “When did you decide to play along with this definition, using it to judge yourself and others?” Oh boy.., this sparked conversation and exploration. We dug into the power of the media, society, culture and how we allow ourselves to be sucked into the world of “perfection” as advertised.
Following this intensely beautiful conversation I shared a couple of videos which jolted us even more…
As a teacher who is also a mother, daughter, sister, granddaughter, etc.., I shared my own raw authentic ownership for the times I played along, got sucked in and passed on my own “image issues.” As a class we delved into the feelings stirred by the videos, my admittance and their own vulnerable sharing. Finding ourselves empowered with the newfound knowledge that everyone struggles at times with this societally and culturally driven game. This is not a gender or age specific issue. It infiltrates from all directions towards all populations.
As I shared yesterday I just returned from a trip that took me to Turkey for a couple of weeks. It was wonderful to enjoy the beauty of another culture, observing as best I could the nuances with image. Of course to really understand, one would have to stay and really submerge within the local society to get a feel for how they judge, label and categorize.
I reflect upon my growing up years before cell phones, selfies and social media, whew, I had it easy! However, I felt the labels, the judgments and the harmful internal self criticism that flowed when I accepted what was portrayed as “perfect.” I hurt for those that received the harmful teasing by peers who were cruel with their words and actions. Everyone seemed to accept the latest “in” look or “perfection” label. While I struggled at times with this marketing/media driven bombardment, I would eventually swing the pendulum back to honor my Wild Woman.
I chuckle at how easily we stray into the next “in phase”, tweezing or bolstering the eyebrows, high waisted or low waisted pants, high heels or no heels, curly or straight hair, makeup??? Oh my!! What would happen to all the clothing, makeup and lifestyle companies if we stopped playing along? That question is definitely for another blog entry!
As I reach out into the world for other Wild Women, I feel again the powerful energy of those hundred students (male and female) who opened their souls to a room full of peers. An experience that gave us all the opportunity to feel and see through diverse lenses. For some they became aware and empowered for the first time with the clarity that everyone journeys in their own personal way through the haze of society’s dictated “perfection.”
Ever since I stuck up for a classmate in fifth grade (many moons ago) it has been a dream of mine for all people to feel from within how absolutely spectacular they are. Releasing the chains of self-criticism based on a contrived definition of “Perfect,” “Enough,” and “Worthy.” Of course as a woman I have a soft spot and knowing for the female journey, however, my male clients shared the sad truth that we all can fall prey to such torment.
As a woman who has worn all the hats, I know how we put ourselves last!
- I will take that class when the kids are not so busy.
- I don’t have the money to do that now, the kids need this, the house, the family…
- Someday I will read that book, join that club, get regular massages, etc…
- It would be selfish to spend such time on myself.
- I really want to connect with other amazing women, but my family needs me, my job, the to-do list.
One of the most powerful things I have learned along the way is that when we do not take care of ourselves and fill up our own cups, there is nothing left to give or share with others. Upon becoming a mother I lost this balance for awhile, until one day I realized that my children learned a lot through watching the people around them – “What was I role modeling to my son and daughter?” Is that how I wanted them to care for themselves, see themselves, value themselves??? This was and is a huge driving force for me. “Do as I say, not as I do,” is not how I wish to role model or engage with this amazing life.
To awaken our Wild Woman – Wild Man is to come home to our inner stirrings, our truth, our vibrant, passionate desires with how we wish to experience and BE in the world around us. This is a very individualistic personal journey. I can’t imagine living this miraculous life any other way!! Here is to YOU in all your magnanomous Wild BEingness!
If you are interested in living a life of BEing – Coming home to a Life of Choice, check out
I am not your conquest,
I am your desire.
I am not your need,
I am your truth.
I am not separate from you,
I am you.
I am not a tamed lion,
I am a wild woman.
I am not yours to possess,
I am here to open love.
Only when you stop thinking, will you see me.
Only when you let go, will you feel me.
Only when you listen, will you hear my beckoning desires.
Do not come to me with your need and want contrived by society.
Do not come to me wishing to penetrate in self disguise.
Do not come to me wishing to possess or play games.
I am like the air, I cannot be contained, held or captured…
However, I will gladly stay, I will blossom beyond your wildest dreams if you…
…touch me as though you are blind.
…taste me as though you have no thirst.
…listen as though you are deaf.
For as you unify with the mysterious wild woman, all falls away to expose the truth….
I am here….
Where are you…?~ Fawn Caveney 7/21
I recently returned from a trip that expanded my present transformational journey, for when one sets upon a quest with an open heart, soul and mind, the swirling encounters awaken vast insights.
As a foreigner in a distant country I was titillated by the power of being anonymous, lost in a sea of chaos that I did not need to understand. I was free to be me. Wandering the streets, beaches, historical sites, and delectable restaurants I allowed myself to feel, taste, explore and be seen. Vulnerable yet unafraid, adrift with no expectation, attachment or preconceived desire, I was a wild woman dancing in curiosity and flowing openness.
Upon arriving back on the shores of my homeland, I found myself surprised by what percolated forth from the experience. A reoccurring awareness, an old friend, a circling back to my youthful knowing. As a woman growing up one is silently taught to behave a certain way, only want specific things, and definitely do not express yourself as a “wild woman.”
In a patriarchal world I was taught to hide my sensuality, present my authenticity in respectable ways and squelch my wild untamed nature. I have never been good at this. More to the point, I do not wish to be good at it. Thankfully I grew up surrounded by nature, held and nurtured by the true wild and free. This planted in me a knowing, one that has thankfully nudged me in moments when I have forgotten the true power of my feminine energy.
During my adventure abroad I was approached by various men. My immediate reaction was caution with a twinge of skepticism. However, as my wise female traveling friend can tell you, I ooze with positivity and openness, so…. I allowed the court-ish play and absorbed the attention. Meandering down the streets of their outspoken desires, I knew I was at choice. As I present this I can feel the paradoxical reactions, they race in like flies to rotten meat. I danced along the tight rope of my own desire to be seen and wanted, while staying vigilant to the wise woman’s voice from within.
I reflect back with a smile, grateful to have met unique masculine souls along the way. They were juxtaposed into the trips original purpose, “Soul Sisters” coming together for a female vacation of play. Ahhhh, I love the intensity of life’s perfect timing and coquettish frolic. The dynamic women I was gifted to explore with came in diverse ages, backgrounds and life experiences. Intensifying this profound mixture of masculine/feminine energy was the most powerful source of all – nature.
Feeling my body glide into the Mediterranean and silky reed filled lake, called forth that Wild Woman. Listening to the cacophony of cicadas, who’s mating song was held in the moist sultry air only heightened the awareness. Sublime ecstasy. Gentle breezes and delicious wind bursts, generated their own wistfulness. I found myself completely swept off my feet. Innocently graced to live each moment in complete presence, no yesterday, no tomorrow, just the vibrancy of now.
As I massaged the intricate aspects together I marveled at the voluptuous experience. Once again I was reminded of the profound Wild Woman Soul. I wish for every woman to tap into this instinctual infinite source; to invite, welcome and rebirth into her true feminine power.
What does this mean? It means you get to live vibrantly alive, sharing and expressing your authentic self. It means you get to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ without apology. It means you get to unabashedly express your desires and passions. It means you get to blossom and reveal as you feel called, free of all expectation, attachment, judgment and labels. It means you dance wild and free….
Over and over again in my life I have found myself saddened by the loss of the Wild Woman. I see it and feel it in the eyes of the women I meet, yet, they hold it back, they force it to stay confined in the cages built by a society intimidated by its powerful force.
Within every woman there lives a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, & ageless knowing. She is the Wild Woman, who represents the instinctual nature of women. But she is an endangered species.— Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Author of Women Who Run With the Wolves
My second night back in the states, I was jolted awake by my muse, who shared very clearly what is to come next for me. I chuckle, for again, I pick up the torch, called by my soul to invite women to join me in Awakening their Wild Woman. In the past I have had the privilege and honor to work with women in various circles, helping them to remember how magnanomous they truly are. My recent life choices and exploratory adventures bring me back home to my calling and purpose – I am here to hold up a mirror, so you may see the Wild Woman that awaits your permission to fly free.
Wild women do
And they don’t regret it
Wild women show
What they’re goin’ through
Wild women do
What you think they’ll never
What you only dream about
Wild women do.
— Natalie Cole, Wild Women Do lyrics
If you are ready to say YES to your Wild Woman join me at The BEingness School
Time is a funny thing, it is slippery, invisible and elusive. I stare out my window, watching the summer leaves dance in the hot breeze. What does that feel like? To be stationary and at the mercy or celebration of all that is around you. A reactionary component of the big picture. Often ignored, barely noticed by the person walking by on the sidewalk. Like an individual leaf, each person floats in a world of billions. We are tossed and turned upon the breezes created by others and ourself. We react or obseeve, we cry or laugh, dance or stand frozen in the quick sand of our own indecision.
What drives us, calls us, whispers to our very soul? Can we hear? Do we listen? Are we so numbed and stuck that like the leaf we stay even though our heart beckons us to move. A victim of our own paralysis. We put our dreams upon the shelf with the other knick knacks, letting them gather dust, becoming regrets lost in time.
Patience, time, faith, belief and persistence keep the spark of a dream alive. Like the farmer who plants the seed knowing that with consistent nurturing the tiny nugget will blossom into a magnificent plant. Too often we are impatient, we give up, let go and deny ourselves the opportunity to believe in the dreams that stir deep within.
I often meet people who say, “well I don’t have any dreams,” or “someday I will go for it,” or “I can’t possibly follow my dreams right now, I have all these responsibilities…” I myself have mouthed such phrases. Thank goodness the tiny voice inside never gives up. The child within me always believes, sadly sometimes I gag her wisdom and pretend I cannot hear her haunting call.
Today I sit here smiling at all the little side paths I have enjoyed in my life. Little adventures to keep the wandering spirit in me alive and curious. In high school it was to be an exchange student, my year in Australia was incredible! Last year I moved to a farm to intern, learning so much about myself, farming, and rekindling my inquisitiveness about the world around me. In college I could never decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. It took me twenty-eight years, four campuses and over 240 credits to “finish” my bachelors degree. I have loved following my muse into diverse jobs, exploring new places and spaces. Yes, my inner sprite has joyfully kept me open and engaged with the dance of life.
Growing up I was taught that life is a linear experience, you do this, then this, and then.., all of it focused on some destination in the future. Why? I have asked this question my whole life. Why? What? Why do we put such emphasis on tomorrow instead of being present today. Why do we spend so much time achieving instead of enjoying the journey. What is that destination? What will I feel when I get there?
Gratefully I gave up on that paradigm, well maybe I never believed in it. My curious, inquisitive nature could not be held to the worn and trodden path. There is nothing wrong with this path, for many it creates and offers immense joy and pleasure. For me it felt like being caged, confined, and tamed. That’s what glorious about our individuality, like the leaf on the tree outside, we are each rare and extraordinary.
Time... hmmm…how do we want to live in the time we have? We do not get it back. It does not slow down. Personally I find it to be ambiguous in nature, sometimes frozen and suspended, at other moments it’s a speed zone, blurred and lost in the rearview mirror. Before my time is up, I invite the dreams from within to find their operatic voice, it’s time to enjoy the blossoming of seeds planted years ago…
I close today wondering how you –
- Spend your time?
- Live life? In reaction or choice?
- Engage with your dreams?
- Dance with contentment, joy, love?
- Paint your life canvas – is it your paintbrush or someone else’s?
Watch for my upcoming online courses and the opportunity to work with me – Dream Whisperer and Beingness Guide.
If you are enjoying how a magazine can change lives, click on “Just BE YOU,” a novel into self discovery and truth.
I am curious, have you ever felt like you were in slow motion while the world around you frenetically spun?
Last night while enjoying a sunset walk in my neighborhood (the pictures below are untouched) I marveled at the dance of light, the magnificence of nature, the stillness which vibrated up through the sidewalk. I wore my headphones, to void out the churn of the world. Encapsulated in my cocoon I merrily strolled suspended in my own delight.
I felt that the trees giggled with me at the busyness which surrounded us, the forgotten invitation. The flowers which still clung to their bygone summer stalks offered delicate symmetry with the sun’s dance across the sky. The grass poking up between sidewalk cracks jigged with merriment at their ability to rise through suffocated challenge. The carpet of leaves danced with color in their goodbye tapestry. Nature mirrored to me the joy, love and gratitude I felt for the NOW moment, celebrating in pure grace, the opportunity to just BE, breathing in and out with the grace that always offers itself.
I think that is why I love watching dogs, they are experts at BEing present in the NOW moment with supreme joy. I can almost hear a whimsical melody as they parade along with their human. Have you ever watched how they look up at their person, inviting them to play, merry eyes, waltzing paws and impassioned tail beckon the hominid to let go, to BE, to celebrate in the NOW moment.
In the last few weeks, I have noticed that I feel suspended in a slow motion vortex. One that notices the chaos, yet, tries to stay clear of such sucking, draining, exhausting disturbances. At my day job the challenge meets me upon entrance, the emotional human perpetuation of drama, struggle, blame and inability to hear or empathize by the almighty corporation/powers that rule. When I bike or walk the streets I witness how the uncertainty of these times impacts those I pass, mask, no mask, smile or look away, say hello or ignore. Humanity struggling with its own precipice of existence.
I encourage my slow motion exploration, for through the lens I am able to see my own behaviors and patterns. I am blessed to make choices in a more relaxed space. I can elect to step away from that which does not serve me or add to my delight in life. I joyously get to remember the pure enchantment of BEing present as the day unfolds. Feeling the pure grace of flowing with my life versus trying to push or force the river of life. There is a perpetual ease, rise in curious wonder, increased joy, peace and expansive love. In anticipation, I wonder where it shall lead me? What will it encourage me to create, share and explore? How will my heart invite me to experience the world around me?
Before I came to this page I decided to look at what others recently viewed on my blog, what pages captured their interest.
Here are a few –
In rereading these entries and some others people selected I see a trend, people are seeking to BE; wanting to find the quiet happy place within. As I shared in “The Sensation of BEingness,” I wish this joyous expansive space for everyone, for it does change how we interact and interpret the world we live in.
One of the ways to begin to explore BEingness is to view life in “Slow Motion,”, feel the moments, hear the seconds, smell the time, taste the occasion, breathe in the NOW, exhale in the new NOW. Slowing the inner self down to observe how the world spins and how you choose to interact with that perpetual motion. We forget, we are at CHOICE! You can live in a state of Reaction or Choice – slowing down to notice what you enjoy and desire, awakens your spirit.
I invite you today:
- Take a walk noticing the world around you and how you really feel.
- Give yourself the gift to slow down, to BE present, to notice – time it if you need to, give yourself an hour or two.
- If you are with others, practice listening in complete presence (shut off the mind chatter and judgments).
- Be aware of what you choose to share, does it make you feel good or drag you down?
- The people you decide to spend time with, do they fill up your cup or drain it?
- If you are feeling really courageous “slow motion” a whole day and be honest with yourself about what you witness with regard to how you are choosing to live life….
Thank you for slowing down enough today to read my sharing. May this blog entry find you and yours healthy and thriving…
Click on the image below if you are enjoying how Rita, Francine, Ken and others are saying YES to living a life of truth and BEingness.
As the years tick by my craving for BEing rises. In this sweet suspended state there is only flow. It awakens a vibrational environment from within that connects me to all throughout eternity – no beginning or end. BEing, to me is a pure state of oneness, like walking on a cloud as the world around me buzzes in chaos. The stillness is infinite and multi-layered. I suppose it is the state often referenced by meditators (which I practice daily), spiritual practitioners, healers and those pure of heart in their religious practice. We are each unique in our journey and thus I do not pretend to know another’s connection to this grand indescribable space. I do know I wish it for every soul, for it releases one from the confines of concrete robotic existence to a place of detached joyous observation. Letting go of yesterday and tomorrow, to freely float in the present moment.
When I was young, I frequented this space with no knowledge of what I was genuinely doing, it was natural, freeing, joyous and full of unexpected discoveries. Sitting still or walking within the arms of nature opened the invitation for me to BE.
In our programed world we are often taught to lose this part of ourselves, severing our connection to the pure potential that always is. Most of my life I did not talk about or share with anyone this divine space of pure grace, for I struggled to find words which could truly embody its pureness of spirit. I still cannot explain, for it is not a state of BEing which can be described. I have often wondered if it is how people feel when they partake of drugs or alcohol, having only experienced the latter. In my personal journey with alcohol I have enjoyed its buzzing sensation that drops walls and opens creative spaces. However, I can say for myself that it does not touch the glorious space of vibrational BEing. Delightedly BEing has no harmful physical impacts, unlike alcohol or drugs and is scientifically proven to have powerful health benefits, so I’ll take more of that please.
This weekend has deliciously been all about following this bliss, letting it quietly guide my actions with authentic presence. Turning off my domesticated (see blog post on Domestication) taught brain to welcome the unadulterated state of joy which dances inexhaustibly to co-create anything, to stroll freely in dreams, curiosity, wonder and “what if”.
Last night I indulged in a sunset river walk. Absorbing the smells of late summer, admiring the suns red goodbye and marveling at the subtle play between water and land. People on bicycles sped by, fishermen cast their flies upon the rivers sway and walkers busily chatted amongst themselves. I travelled in their midst, floating in my bubble of BEing (state of BEing), merrily observing it all.
In this state my muse vibrantly awakens. Like a rollicking cherub it blissfully gurgles with thoughts, dreams, poems, songs, passion, love and contented peace. Like the river that flowed beside me, my muse meandered into the vast land of wonder and delight.
I often wonder, what would the world be like if everyone gifted themselves with just ten minutes or more per day of BEing. Gracing themselves with the unlimited potential that quietly resides between their inhale/exhale, pulsing with their heart and soul (an invitation to BE).
While preparing to slumber, I invited my muse to finish its writing. Concluding the flow of words that bubbled forth during my evening stroll…
Let me flow upon your ripple of time…
Let me catch my breath in your whisper…
Let me feel the depth of infinity in your feathered caress and raging passion…
Let me rest my head upon the textured warmth of your rhythmic heart…
Let me weep into the recesses of yesterday, the songs of tomorrow and the cracks in your skin…
Let me dance upon the soft sparkle of your dreams, engraving them upon the tapestry of life…
Let me release into the storm of your desires, abandoning myself into the rapture of oneness…
Let me run wild and free in the stirrups of your steed, thundering into the abyss of intertwined eternity…
Let me remember all the times our souls collided, birthing another star in the galactic Milky Way…
I conclude with an invitation – Today I invite to you reacquaint yourself with your inner state of BEing. The space where all your dreams live, your passions, desires, wonders, joy, peace, love, grace… Like the blooming of a flower it awaits your invocation.
Her eyes sparkle with joyful trust, her feet skip with abandoned freedom, her voice rises with no apology and her hands reach for the dust that dances with her in the glittering sunlight. She is free and wild an ecstatic expression of the bliss which always is…
Her face was lined from years of living. Her eyes danced, bursting with memories etched like fireworks on a dark night. Her smile beckoned one to sit and listen. Her legs no longer danced, they lay bent and disfigured on the bed with raw open bed sores seeping at her hip joints. Her vibrant spirit encircled you the moment you stepped into her space, there was no victim in this room, no woe is me, instead one was greeted with dynamic passion, simple happiness, and a peacefulness that gently kissed you on the cheek.
Who are the “her’s” I speak of? The first is me, dancing in my childhood living room, chasing the sun dust I stirred up with my exuberant joy. The second “her” is a divine woman I was blessed to care for in a nursing home years ago. Her aliveness, grace, peace, and love still dance in my memory. She and others I cared for knew a truth, as did the child in me.
What did they know?
- They knew that happiness, love, peace and contentment always exist.
- They knew that it did not exist in things outside themselves.
- They knew that it was accessible in all moments.
- They knew that no one could give it to them, yet they lovingly shared it.
- They knew it was a choice.
The years and space between innocent curious childhood and the wisdom of one’s latter years is full of “shoulds”, “comparisons”, “judgments”, and the measuring of the self against a society often ruled through fear and distrust. I do not have to sit very long in a cafe before I can hear someone criticizing themselves or attacking someone else. Stories swirl around like the sound of the espresso machine, surging with blame, shame, hurt, victimhood and discontent. It breeds like the flies on the patio tables, snatching up every scrappy morsel to add fuel to why their life is so miserable.
Why do humans choose this?
A question I have pondered since I was five years old.
- Why do we let go of our passionate desires to instead choose to fly someone else’s kite?
- Why do we slam the door on the pure potential of joy?
- Why do we kick happiness to the curb, to welcome and invite stressful frustration?
- Why do we say “have to” instead of “get to”?
- Why do we choose going through our days and moments on auto-pilot, waiting for someone or something else to make us better?
- Do we prefer to wait, to lie on our deathbed watching the autobiographical movie of regret?
- Why do we look in the mirror with such self contempt, as young children we loved our reflection?
I ask all of this with curiosity and a desire to understand.
In my sophomore year of college I was blessed to work at an international daycare. Here I witnessed children from all over the world. They danced, played, laughed and cried, living their moments very presently. They saw the world as a frontier to be explored. I sensed that the older children were on the fringe of losing this curious wonderment for life. In their play I observed them mimicking adults, their eyes would change, their jaw would set tightly, their voices would take on a serious tone. The joy, spontaneity, compassion and kindness evaporated, leaving behind a robotic body, controlled by the “taught” mind.
Three years after working in a daycare, I found myself working in a nursing home. Here I discovered the grace and vengeance of aging. I was gifted to share time with souls who lived a full passionate life and others who were embittered with regret. The extreme chasm between the two slapped me stingingly as I would leave one room to enter another. My heart and soul ached for those fighting their own shadow. They carried their anger and sadness like a suitcase loaded with boulders, burdening their final days. These souls expressed through pinches, punches, and verbal abuse while you assisted them to the toilet, shower or dining hall. Off the clock, I cherished the moments I got to sit and listen to the stories from those celebrating life. Stories of falling in love, having children, riding in a car for the first time and rising above struggle. Reflections of the gentle flow of seasons, years, experiences and the pure grace of a life lived fully.
In my forties I found myself teaching language arts to junior high students. Here I witnessed the cross over in technicolor poignancy. A few young people desperately clung to their innocent pure belief that anything is possible, that one could reach for their dreams with unbridled passion. The majority of the students had given up, they did not dream, instead they chased visions of their future painted on the wall by parents and society. They swallowed hard the doses of expectations fed to them with the famous mantra, “When I have lots of money I will be happy, when I get my degree I will be happy, when I buy a house I will be happy, when I marry I will be happy, WHEN I… I will then be HAPPY”.
Ironically the joke is on us, for much of life is lived between the wild child and the wise elder. Thus I am forever grateful for the life altering gift of witnessing snapshots of age through my diverse professional life. They have graced me with an awareness and microscopic view that life is really just a brief sojourn. A brief interlude to experience as I choose.
Today I watch the sun dust with the pure delight of my four year old wonderment, I dance with unlimited joy, for I am not young, nor old, I am in between, kissing each with gratitude for their wisdom.
Today I invite you to join me, breathe deeply into the child you once were before life manipulated you.
Today I encourage you to take back the string to your own kite, feel it dance freely upon the wind.
I wrote this piece originally over a year ago, today it whispered at me, beckoning me to share in this time of change upon our planet. We all sit unexpectedly in a space of suspended uncertainty. As we float between what was and what is becoming, we are being graced with a crystal ball that plays scenes from childhood, while positioning the paint brush towards a canvas of our elder years. Posed on a precipice, can you hear the whispers of grace and freedom? Or do you cling to the chaos of fear?
The wise gentle elders I was blessed to care for no longer inhabit this plane, yet the way they embraced their journey is written in permanent marker on my heart, soul, and mind. I shall not lie on the bed sores of life embittered and shriveled, I shall dance vibrantly in the sparkling company of dust particles…
I wish I could put it in a bottle for you. A special bottle, unique to you, one that when opened, would release the rich vapors of peace, faith, love and joy. Your body like a dry sponge would absorb the craved sensations, replacing all fear, worry, doubt and discomfort. Like fresh oxygen for your lungs, the healing vapors would fill you up with the inner knowing that all is well. You can and will make it through this time.
I’ve been here before. While it is vastly different, it also drips of immense similarity. Twelve years ago I walked the tightrope of uncertainty. Worry nagged, pulled and poked at the corners of my mind, my head a pin cushion to the uncertainties in my life.
I clung to my home with every raw finger nail I had left. I applied to every possible job opportunity that might work. I topped the charts in creative cooking, stretching the rice beyond its palatable enjoyment.
Despite all my efforts, sleepless nights, fearful pacing and quiet praying, I was at the end of the timeline. The bank repossessed the home where my children were born. The bank quietly towed away our vehicle. My son was finishing 3rd grade, my daughter kindergarten. Standing solitarily in the middle of my home, I breathed a final good bye to life as I knew it and stepped into what came next…
Fear is a massively powerful virus, it will eat you from the inside out. It will age you, turning brown hair gray. It has no prejudice. It does not care how far it spreads. And it exponentially grows, creeping into every crevice.
I stand on the other side of all this. Blessed to examine this life changing time in the rearview mirror of my life. March 2007 to May 2011 turned our world upside down and inside out. I grew up! I learned that the human spirit is “stronger than it thinks”, that together we can keep stepping. Sometimes life is trying to give you something more, even though it feels like life is being ripped out of you.
Today, unlike the financial crisis of 2008-2009, we are ALL in this together. Today, there is worldwide compassion. Today, I get notifications from companies that they will work with me financially. Today, we are interconnected globally.
My humbling journey twelve years ago gifted me in ways that words cannot express. It did change my life, it did push me up against the wall, it did give me gray hair, it did teach me what is truly important.
I wish I could bottle it up for you. A special bottle, unique to you, one that when opened, would release the rich vapors of peace, faith, love and happiness. I know, truly I know that –
What you most desire to feel is already within you. It cannot be bought or sold…
You are stronger than you think…
Within you lies a peaceful space, one that holds preciously your dreams and desires...
This time on our planet can be an opportunity, a chance to reflect, to notice, to appreciate, to choose…
You are not alone…
Here is your bottle – please open it with complete peace, faith and love…
For more inspiration and deeper exploration of BEing go to The BEingness Project – today I share worksheets and a meditation.
I am curious, do you allow yourself the quiet reflection time to mosey within the recesses of your thoughts, memories and life snapshots?
Do you take the opportunity to truly notice what makes you smile? What expands your heart with the warm sensation of love?
Our memories offer us a deeper understanding of what makes us happy. What brings us joy and ignites a passion for life. We can use our memories to co-create more in life, choosing with intention to expand and do that which makes us happy, fills us with love, peace and true contentment.
As I allow myself to connect the dots of what lights me up, I discover a continuity over the fifty plus years I have journeyed:
- Quality time with people I enjoy and love.
- Being enveloped in nature.
- Putting words to the page.
- Sitting near a crackling fire on a crisp day/night.
- Feeling my body come alive when it works out, goes for a walk, magnificently functions as a healthy unit.
- Preparing healthy luscious meals for myself and others.
- Learning and expanding in the areas I find interesting and have curiosity about.
- Listening to music and feeling the emotions it stirs.
- Enjoying the warmth of a gentle touch or reaching out to touch another.
- The pure eloquent perfection of the rising or setting sun, bright light of the moon and stars, gentle breeze, harsh wind…
The deep truth I find is that if I peel back the layers and feel into life, I discover that I find the greatest joy in the simple pure things. The genuineness of true connection, the pureness of nature, the sincerity of presence and being.
At this time in my life I am hugging in gratitude the amazing gifts of my past. This includes the challenges, for they give life texture, growth, expansion and becoming. I have been blessed to experience immense diversity in my professional and personal life, a very colorful tapestry that makes me smile. While I gratefully embrace my past, I excitedly glance into the future, what comes next, how will life unfold, what shall become.
Isn’t life truthfully always at this crossroad?
We assume that we have many tomorrows, yet we do not know. We take for granted that things will stay the same, yet, change is always a given. We are a funny creature, for we fear change, while begging for it.
In truth, we stand always in the dynamic paradox of what was, is and shall be. A fine dance that is stamped by unexpected percussion within the symphony of life
When I feel back into my life there is a reoccurring joyous sensation about getting into the zone of allowing words to flow upon a page. To experience a connection that is not my brain thinking about what I should write, instead it is a glorious flow that seems to bubble up from some unknown space. I suppose some people take drugs to feel such a high, for me it is a delicious vibration of oneness, a twilight zone where the world stops and only the fluidity of words exist. The other night I was blessed to dip into such a zone. Below is what flowed forth, may it stir within in you a curiosity to question.
“When will we understand the message of time eternal? The infinite wisdom of all civilizations, populations, people and souls?
Our most intimate desires and passions all lead back to the same for every being…
We ache to love and be loved, to truly see another and to vulnerably be seen; all blemishes and raw expressions in full view.
We crave belonging, embodied in a community who journeys our ups and downs, picking us up and letting us fall as we learn to fly.
To feel vibrant, alive, dynamic and of service – needed and wanted by others.
To feel healthy and happy, a reflection of how we honor ourselves and others.
If all “things and stuff” were washed away by the seas of time and we stood naked and exposed, what memories would pick us up? Keep us going? Beckon us forth? It would be the real moments of connected love, the shared joy with others, the sense of belonging.
Power leaves us holding nothing but empty resources which wash and burn away…
Money can buy everything but the sincere heart of others. It does not fill the soul with memories, or keep us warm in the envelope of belonging.
Stuff only makes us smile when it connects us with others, with those we love and cherish. The perfect shoe will not find the prince. The eloquent jewels will not make the heart dance. The stunning outfit will only remind one of the emptiness within.
Power, money, resources, all enrich, make more, co-create and expand when shared with genuine love, grace and respect.
They enrich the joys and pleasures shared with others. They can help to ease the injury and harm of life’s bumpy path. They are not bad or evil, merely unemotional objects that can serve or strangle.
Will the human ever truly understand? Will we ever put down our flags to see there are no differences? Can we stop claiming, blaming and destroying, to discover that the world spins more fully when there are no barriers or walls.
If we do not learn, we shall again be a lost civilization:
An Egyptian pyramid
An Aztec empire
An empty cave dwelling
A Roman colosseum
A Greek parthenon
An Indigenous burial ground
Our ashes, no matter our color, gender, religion, or heritage, still blow in the wind when we die…
Our bones, skin and muscle become fertilizer as we break down in the earth – no superiority or class distinction spares the decomposing…
Our belongings collect dust, break down and lose all value…
Our homes sit vacant and empty, a hollow encasement of what was once a place to congregate…
We think ourselves wise and better than those before, yet, here we are again repeating the pattern of time eternal…“
I come back to the opening discussion, can you sit with your life experience and memories to discover and choose the things in life that bring you joy, ignite passion and awaken your vibrancy to life?
The view in the rearview mirror can be used to uncover and light up the path before you. You are at choice, hit repeat over and over again, it will give you what you already know OR look back to dance forward with intention.
My challenge this week for you –
- Make a simple list of the things that bring you joy.
- Pick at least three of those things to DO MORE of.
- Decide how you will bring more of the things you enjoy into your daily life.
- Focus on what brings you joy, for what you focus upon becomes more.
- Forgive yourself and let go of any thing you are regretting and holding on to.
- This moment is a new moment – BE in it!
Until next week, enjoy your “Walking Naked Truth”...
I quietly breathe in the sunset, yellow, red and orange hues kiss the clouds. They dance in sweet surrender upon the reflected ripples of the pond. Ducks scatter the image as they freely sculpt their own masterpiece. I sit in silent reverie, remembering why I started this blog. Why I love to flow upon the page, why I passionately dream for all beings a life of joy, peace, love and contentment in all moments.
Today on my walk I marveled at how nature cycles. This time of year in Idaho, the cold seeps into the earth, it squelches the flow of sap in the trees and slows the water to an ebony molasses. The naked trees acquiesce to the white blanket of snow crystals. Yet, beneath all this layered quiet, I can feel the vibrancy of life, the rich smells of growth waiting for the warm sunshine of longer days. Humans like nature, have much that circulates below the surface. Hidden deep within lies the truth, the dreams, the passions and desires; all of it waiting to blossom, to expose, to share.
“Walking Naked Truth”, what a bizarre title for a blog, right?!? Yet, I still love it after all these years, for it describes what I passionately wish for all people – To BE their true self from within. I describe the title more intimately in my “About” page –
“Walking = In choosing to step forward, we keep our momentum in the present moment. Electing to be open to the possibilities and aware of that which we consciously choose.
Naked = Standing exposed, open, and completely present. Free of walls, attachments, expectations, secrets, or shame. Choosing to be vulnerable, with an open heart and soul.
Truth = An inner knowing. A solid quiet space which resides within all. It vibrates with a sensation to share, and express in sincere, humble, integrity. Free of outside attachments, perceptions, expectations and judgments, it just is….
It is my personal belief that BEing our Naked Truth frees us to walk forth in life with passion, joy, and peace; open to the wonders of the world and each other. It un-encumbers us from staying stuck in victim, blame and shame. Embracing the truth propels us forward, walking towards a life of CHOICE.”
Everyday I marvel at how people struggle to BE their truth; to share what is really going on inside. Why? What are they afraid of? When did we forget how to share? A child does it quite easily, until they are told not to. A toddler freely expresses themselves, with no fear. As the years go by, the walls go up and the truth gets shut up inside. I experience that for many, they do not even know how to hear their personal truth anymore. It has become what they are told. It is what society, culture, friends and family say it should be. Squished into the innermost cavity of the body, it pulses with eager desire to freely express. To open up with exuberant passion, to unleash famished desires.
- What if in this new decade you gave yourself permission to live life full on?
- How much fun might you experience?
- Can you imagine the freedom you could feel?
- How might your relationships deepen?
- What dreams could you bring to life?
Let’s play together! Let’s open up and share our individual truth, hopes, dreams and desires. Let’s dance with joyful abandon, sing with bravado, play with wild curiosity….
- It starts with being quiet enough to hear and feel the truth which pulses within you.
- In the quiet, start by asking yourself, “What do I feel in this moment?”
- Then think briefly about something you are grateful for, notice what you feel in the new moment enriched by gratitude.
- Play with a sad thought, an angry thought, an exciting thought, etc… Allow yourself to become familiar with how your body feels in each emotional experience. How your energy shifts. What your mind says and does. It is all about noticing and becoming aware.
- Gift yourself with 10 minutes a day, allowing your mind, heart and soul to wander, to daydream and play – no agenda.
- At first this may feel awkward, however as you continue to create time for it, you will begin to truly hear your own heart’s desire. Then you can build up the muscle to share with others.
- Gradually increase the time, for in this open free flow, amazing ideas will spring forth. Inner connections with the true self will deepen and enrich.
Attached is a worksheet (click on image below to download) for you to use as you like. It will give you the space to really notice how you physically (body), mentally (mind) and emotionally (spirit) react. Becoming aware of your unique internal and external reactions, empowers you to begin to really hear and understand your inner truth. From this space, you get to joyously choose how you want to feel and be.
I am excited for all that we shall journey and share in 2020!!
May it be the start to you embracing and sharing with the world YOUR NAKED TRUTH…
Join me for more fun at The Beingness Project