Today I choose to share a bit differently, allowing my Muse to expose itself more freely and vulnerably. I thank you for joining me, taking the time to read my heartfelt expression upon the page. I welcome the opportunity to connect, please comment or share your thoughts….
I will never forget the day I asked all my junior high students the question, “Who wrote the definition for perfect?” They looked at me with furrowed brow or comical smiles, for they were used to my zany questions. Of course no one had an answer to this strange inquiry. According to Wikipedia, the word perfection goes back to Aristotle –
The oldest definition of “perfection”, fairly precise and distinguishing the shades of the concept, goes back to Aristotle. In Book Delta of the Metaphysics, he distinguishes three meanings of the term, or rather three shades of one meaning, but in any case three different concepts.
That is perfect:
1. which is complete — which contains all the requisite parts
2. which is so good that nothing of the kind could be better
3. which has attained its purpose.
Following this introductory question I continued with “When did you decide to play along with this definition, using it to judge yourself and others?” Oh boy.., this sparked conversation and exploration. We dug into the power of the media, society, culture and how we allow ourselves to be sucked into the world of “perfection” as advertised.
Following this intensely beautiful conversation I shared a couple of videos which jolted us even more…
As a teacher who is also a mother, daughter, sister, granddaughter, etc.., I shared my own raw authentic ownership for the times I played along, got sucked in and passed on my own “image issues.” As a class we delved into the feelings stirred by the videos, my admittance and their own vulnerable sharing. Finding ourselves empowered with the newfound knowledge that everyone struggles at times with this societally and culturally driven game. This is not a gender or age specific issue. It infiltrates from all directions towards all populations.
As I shared yesterday I just returned from a trip that took me to Turkey for a couple of weeks. It was wonderful to enjoy the beauty of another culture, observing as best I could the nuances with image. Of course to really understand, one would have to stay and really submerge within the local society to get a feel for how they judge, label and categorize.
I reflect upon my growing up years before cell phones, selfies and social media, whew, I had it easy! However, I felt the labels, the judgments and the harmful internal self criticism that flowed when I accepted what was portrayed as “perfect.” I hurt for those that received the harmful teasing by peers who were cruel with their words and actions. Everyone seemed to accept the latest “in” look or “perfection” label. While I struggled at times with this marketing/media driven bombardment, I would eventually swing the pendulum back to honor my Wild Woman.
I chuckle at how easily we stray into the next “in phase”, tweezing or bolstering the eyebrows, high waisted or low waisted pants, high heels or no heels, curly or straight hair, makeup??? Oh my!! What would happen to all the clothing, makeup and lifestyle companies if we stopped playing along? That question is definitely for another blog entry!
As I reach out into the world for other Wild Women, I feel again the powerful energy of those hundred students (male and female) who opened their souls to a room full of peers. An experience that gave us all the opportunity to feel and see through diverse lenses. For some they became aware and empowered for the first time with the clarity that everyone journeys in their own personal way through the haze of society’s dictated “perfection.”
Ever since I stuck up for a classmate in fifth grade (many moons ago) it has been a dream of mine for all people to feel from within how absolutely spectacular they are. Releasing the chains of self-criticism based on a contrived definition of “Perfect,” “Enough,” and “Worthy.” Of course as a woman I have a soft spot and knowing for the female journey, however, my male clients shared the sad truth that we all can fall prey to such torment.
As a woman who has worn all the hats, I know how we put ourselves last!
- I will take that class when the kids are not so busy.
- I don’t have the money to do that now, the kids need this, the house, the family…
- Someday I will read that book, join that club, get regular massages, etc…
- It would be selfish to spend such time on myself.
- I really want to connect with other amazing women, but my family needs me, my job, the to-do list.
One of the most powerful things I have learned along the way is that when we do not take care of ourselves and fill up our own cups, there is nothing left to give or share with others. Upon becoming a mother I lost this balance for awhile, until one day I realized that my children learned a lot through watching the people around them – “What was I role modeling to my son and daughter?” Is that how I wanted them to care for themselves, see themselves, value themselves??? This was and is a huge driving force for me. “Do as I say, not as I do,” is not how I wish to role model or engage with this amazing life.
To awaken our Wild Woman – Wild Man is to come home to our inner stirrings, our truth, our vibrant, passionate desires with how we wish to experience and BE in the world around us. This is a very individualistic personal journey. I can’t imagine living this miraculous life any other way!! Here is to YOU in all your magnanomous Wild BEingness!
If you are interested in living a life of BEing – Coming home to a Life of Choice, check out
I am not your conquest,
I am your desire.
I am not your need,
I am your truth.
I am not separate from you,
I am you.
I am not a tamed lion,
I am a wild woman.
I am not yours to possess,
I am here to open love.
Only when you stop thinking, will you see me.
Only when you let go, will you feel me.
Only when you listen, will you hear my beckoning desires.
Do not come to me with your need and want contrived by society.
Do not come to me wishing to penetrate in self disguise.
Do not come to me wishing to possess or play games.
I am like the air, I cannot be contained, held or captured…
However, I will gladly stay, I will blossom beyond your wildest dreams if you…
…touch me as though you are blind.
…taste me as though you have no thirst.
…listen as though you are deaf.
For as you unify with the mysterious wild woman, all falls away to expose the truth….
I am here….
Where are you…?~ Fawn Caveney 7/21
I recently returned from a trip that expanded my present transformational journey, for when one sets upon a quest with an open heart, soul and mind, the swirling encounters awaken vast insights.
As a foreigner in a distant country I was titillated by the power of being anonymous, lost in a sea of chaos that I did not need to understand. I was free to be me. Wandering the streets, beaches, historical sites, and delectable restaurants I allowed myself to feel, taste, explore and be seen. Vulnerable yet unafraid, adrift with no expectation, attachment or preconceived desire, I was a wild woman dancing in curiosity and flowing openness.
Upon arriving back on the shores of my homeland, I found myself surprised by what percolated forth from the experience. A reoccurring awareness, an old friend, a circling back to my youthful knowing. As a woman growing up one is silently taught to behave a certain way, only want specific things, and definitely do not express yourself as a “wild woman.”
In a patriarchal world I was taught to hide my sensuality, present my authenticity in respectable ways and squelch my wild untamed nature. I have never been good at this. More to the point, I do not wish to be good at it. Thankfully I grew up surrounded by nature, held and nurtured by the true wild and free. This planted in me a knowing, one that has thankfully nudged me in moments when I have forgotten the true power of my feminine energy.
During my adventure abroad I was approached by various men. My immediate reaction was caution with a twinge of skepticism. However, as my wise female traveling friend can tell you, I ooze with positivity and openness, so…. I allowed the court-ish play and absorbed the attention. Meandering down the streets of their outspoken desires, I knew I was at choice. As I present this I can feel the paradoxical reactions, they race in like flies to rotten meat. I danced along the tight rope of my own desire to be seen and wanted, while staying vigilant to the wise woman’s voice from within.
I reflect back with a smile, grateful to have met unique masculine souls along the way. They were juxtaposed into the trips original purpose, “Soul Sisters” coming together for a female vacation of play. Ahhhh, I love the intensity of life’s perfect timing and coquettish frolic. The dynamic women I was gifted to explore with came in diverse ages, backgrounds and life experiences. Intensifying this profound mixture of masculine/feminine energy was the most powerful source of all – nature.
Feeling my body glide into the Mediterranean and silky reed filled lake, called forth that Wild Woman. Listening to the cacophony of cicadas, who’s mating song was held in the moist sultry air only heightened the awareness. Sublime ecstasy. Gentle breezes and delicious wind bursts, generated their own wistfulness. I found myself completely swept off my feet. Innocently graced to live each moment in complete presence, no yesterday, no tomorrow, just the vibrancy of now.
As I massaged the intricate aspects together I marveled at the voluptuous experience. Once again I was reminded of the profound Wild Woman Soul. I wish for every woman to tap into this instinctual infinite source; to invite, welcome and rebirth into her true feminine power.
What does this mean? It means you get to live vibrantly alive, sharing and expressing your authentic self. It means you get to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ without apology. It means you get to unabashedly express your desires and passions. It means you get to blossom and reveal as you feel called, free of all expectation, attachment, judgment and labels. It means you dance wild and free….
Over and over again in my life I have found myself saddened by the loss of the Wild Woman. I see it and feel it in the eyes of the women I meet, yet, they hold it back, they force it to stay confined in the cages built by a society intimidated by its powerful force.
Within every woman there lives a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, & ageless knowing. She is the Wild Woman, who represents the instinctual nature of women. But she is an endangered species.— Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Author of Women Who Run With the Wolves
My second night back in the states, I was jolted awake by my muse, who shared very clearly what is to come next for me. I chuckle, for again, I pick up the torch, called by my soul to invite women to join me in Awakening their Wild Woman. In the past I have had the privilege and honor to work with women in various circles, helping them to remember how magnanomous they truly are. My recent life choices and exploratory adventures bring me back home to my calling and purpose – I am here to hold up a mirror, so you may see the Wild Woman that awaits your permission to fly free.
Wild women do
And they don’t regret it
Wild women show
What they’re goin’ through
Wild women do
What you think they’ll never
What you only dream about
Wild women do.
— Natalie Cole, Wild Women Do lyrics
If you are ready to say YES to your Wild Woman join me at The BEingness School
Time is a funny thing, it is slippery, invisible and elusive. I stare out my window, watching the summer leaves dance in the hot breeze. What does that feel like? To be stationary and at the mercy or celebration of all that is around you. A reactionary component of the big picture. Often ignored, barely noticed by the person walking by on the sidewalk. Like an individual leaf, each person floats in a world of billions. We are tossed and turned upon the breezes created by others and ourself. We react or obseeve, we cry or laugh, dance or stand frozen in the quick sand of our own indecision.
What drives us, calls us, whispers to our very soul? Can we hear? Do we listen? Are we so numbed and stuck that like the leaf we stay even though our heart beckons us to move. A victim of our own paralysis. We put our dreams upon the shelf with the other knick knacks, letting them gather dust, becoming regrets lost in time.
Patience, time, faith, belief and persistence keep the spark of a dream alive. Like the farmer who plants the seed knowing that with consistent nurturing the tiny nugget will blossom into a magnificent plant. Too often we are impatient, we give up, let go and deny ourselves the opportunity to believe in the dreams that stir deep within.
I often meet people who say, “well I don’t have any dreams,” or “someday I will go for it,” or “I can’t possibly follow my dreams right now, I have all these responsibilities…” I myself have mouthed such phrases. Thank goodness the tiny voice inside never gives up. The child within me always believes, sadly sometimes I gag her wisdom and pretend I cannot hear her haunting call.
Today I sit here smiling at all the little side paths I have enjoyed in my life. Little adventures to keep the wandering spirit in me alive and curious. In high school it was to be an exchange student, my year in Australia was incredible! Last year I moved to a farm to intern, learning so much about myself, farming, and rekindling my inquisitiveness about the world around me. In college I could never decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. It took me twenty-eight years, four campuses and over 240 credits to “finish” my bachelors degree. I have loved following my muse into diverse jobs, exploring new places and spaces. Yes, my inner sprite has joyfully kept me open and engaged with the dance of life.
Growing up I was taught that life is a linear experience, you do this, then this, and then.., all of it focused on some destination in the future. Why? I have asked this question my whole life. Why? What? Why do we put such emphasis on tomorrow instead of being present today. Why do we spend so much time achieving instead of enjoying the journey. What is that destination? What will I feel when I get there?
Gratefully I gave up on that paradigm, well maybe I never believed in it. My curious, inquisitive nature could not be held to the worn and trodden path. There is nothing wrong with this path, for many it creates and offers immense joy and pleasure. For me it felt like being caged, confined, and tamed. That’s what glorious about our individuality, like the leaf on the tree outside, we are each rare and extraordinary.
Time... hmmm…how do we want to live in the time we have? We do not get it back. It does not slow down. Personally I find it to be ambiguous in nature, sometimes frozen and suspended, at other moments it’s a speed zone, blurred and lost in the rearview mirror. Before my time is up, I invite the dreams from within to find their operatic voice, it’s time to enjoy the blossoming of seeds planted years ago…
I close today wondering how you –
- Spend your time?
- Live life? In reaction or choice?
- Engage with your dreams?
- Dance with contentment, joy, love?
- Paint your life canvas – is it your paintbrush or someone else’s?
Watch for my upcoming online courses and the opportunity to work with me – Dream Whisperer and Beingness Guide.
If you haven’t opened the journey to explore life with the help of a miraculous magazine, now’s your chance – Click HERE.
Friday morning I became a statistic.
It is strange, for we become a statistic when we are born, arriving in this chaotic expanding world. We also get counted when we depart this world, leaving behind this physical existence. Along the way we get enumerated and categorized in so many ways. Gender, age, income, nationality, education, profession, sexuality, religion/spirituality, etc…
The latest circumstance that added me to a growing list was not by choice, however, I knew it was only a matter of time. In a world that presently observes the growing number of COVID cases, I recognized that between my job, which exposes me to people everyday, living in an apartment and co-existing in a busy society, it was likely I would catch the virus.
Yes, this girl tested positive to COVID-19. Thus far, I feel very fortunate that my body is rallying well with the symptoms. The biggest one being no smell or taste, which is very strange. My experience has really helped me to understand more clearly how easy it is for people to have it and not know. My symptoms are subtle, I have definitely experienced worse colds. It seems to strike everyone very uniquely, attacking and targeting a person’s weak spots.
When the journey with COVID-19 began, I found myself really wondering why we did not focus as intently on helping people to know how to build up their immune systems. All the fixation seemed to be on finding a vaccine. What about the one thing we can all do NOW, boost our immune systems. Why are we not empowering people to know how to navigate the possible symptoms, sharing things that encourage the body to journey through the virus with as much ease as possible.
As always I feel like our Western Medicine world is concentrated on treating the syndrome event, not the root issue – a weak immune system. As a health freak and certified Health Coach, the body and its miraculous ability has fascinated me since I was fifteen. Our bodies are incredible! When we invest wisely in nurturing this miraculous system, the results can even shock doctors; doctors who rarely receive any nutritional training during their schooling/residencies.
This week I found myself feeling shame as I lined up with many others to get tested. Why did I feel this way for something I did not consciously choose or want? As I looked around the line, there were all ages and walks of life. We sat there in the chilly morning for over an hour, knowing we had to be there early to be lucky enough to make the cut for testing.
I thought about people who physically struggle to get around, how were they supposed to get there and wait? What about the people who can’t get off work to get tested? I myself had challenges to get there. I had tried the day before, only to be 47th in line, missing my chance by seven people. After all these months have we made it easier for people to get tested? Do we support and encourage people to find out? I know I sure did not want to be there and if I did not care about spreading it to others, I would not have gone.
I have family that live in other countries, so it has been interesting for me to hear about their COVID processes. For my brother and his family in UAE, a team came to every home to test them. While my sister in Turkey had to be tested prior to students coming back to the school where she works. Every place pursues their own way of doing it, hoping to minimize the effects and impact.
As I stay tucked away in my little world, I look out the window and wonder, how many people that walk by have it and don’t know? If at 55 my symptoms are so mellow, the younger healthy generation is likely to experience almost nothing. Nine months ago when this really hit my part of the world, I asked then –
- Why are we not focusing how to boost the immune system?
- Why are we not empowering people with things they can do to keep themselves healthy and strong?
- Isn’t it possible to come at this virus from two directions – immune boosting and vaccine?
It is my life experience that when we give others information that helps them to take charge of their own circumstances and potential, they do so, letting go of the fear and stress which cripples them.
As the numbers continue to climb again around the globe, can we open the conversation about supporting our immune systems to do the job they were built to do. Enabling the body to journey through the virus, hopefully increasing the number of people with natural antibodies. Science is powerful, however, let us not forget that science has been wrong many times throughout history. We are each housed within a body, a system that works hard to serve us through all of life’s challenges. Gratefully the last ten to twenty years I have watched our nutritional awareness expand and start to be taken seriously. Hippocrates and so many along the way have tried to tell us – What we put in our bodies, how we care for the inside and outside directly impacts our quality of life.
I might be completely wrong, but, I bet this will not be the last virus to challenge us. It’s a glorious opportunity for us all to compassionately care for ourselves and each other. Pointing fingers, blaming or shaming do not solve anything, they only inhibit our ability to heal, learn and grow. Like all things in life, we can look at COVID as an opportunity to create positive change or allow it to control with fear and limitation.
I am one of many newly counted statistics in my area… It is not fun, however, I am grateful to have a body that is rallying with me to move through this challenge to heal and become even stronger through the experience. My appreciation expands beyond words for all of those on the front lines testing people, working in the hospitals, trying to create the vaccine, and… May we all remember to be that smile behind the mask that helps someone to have a better day, to know they are not alone, and to do our part in our own self care, so we can then assist others.
We are not just a statistic. We are a human with many feelings, desires and dreams. As a species we excel at creativity and ingenuity, may we not forget that we are capable of great things. Fear drags us ALL down, it limits and controls. Personally, I prefer to focus upon ways that I can co-create positive change, versus getting sucked into the quick sand of fear and worry.
I ask you –
- What things do you do daily to take care of your body, mind and spirit?
- Do you know ways that you can bolster your immune system?
- Are you taking action with regard to your own health and well being?
- As you hear about the spread of COVID, are you also educating yourself on ways to help your body be ready?
On this snowy day in my world I send you well wishes for a healthy happy week….
If you have been following the magical magazine that changes life’s – Click HERE for this last week’s excerpts or to start the story from the beginning.
Are you happy? Do you like who you are?
Why or why not?
Can you remember a time when you were happy? When you really liked who you are?
As a person who has always been intrigued by learning, experiencing and exploring interpersonal aspects, I have spent the last thirty-five years investigating myself, others and the world around me. My bookshelves burst with self-help books. I engaged in workshops, classes, certificate programs, attained degrees, tried different jobs and…, all in quest for happiness and self-love.
About five years ago I finally woke up. Looking around me at all I had done, watching people on the streets, listening to colleagues, friends and family, I began to fully understand and more importantly KNOW from within that each and everyone of us is already perfect in our own unique way. No one needs fixing. Everyone is worthy. Everyone is enough. Everyone is on a journey doing and being the best they can in all moments.
As I breathed deeply into this new found sensation, I felt myself joyously relax. A new depth of peace filled my soul. Joy gurgled from my very core, oozing out through my pores. Curiosity, wonder, love, passion, desire and pure delight sparkled in my conscious and unconscious being.
The ultimate Ah-Ha rippled through my very essence – awakening within me the truth of truths – All we have to do is JUST BE.
Each of us is a glorious sparkling star in the galaxy of humanity. Beautiful as a solo light, however, even more spectacular in the magnanomous milky way of diversity and concordance.
For years now all I have wished and dreamed for is that all people come home to the quiet loving space which resides within. Discovering their quintessence truth – they are enough, they are worthy, they are perfect.
In a world where judgment happens first and kindness swings in last, we begin at a very young age to see ourselves as inadequate, not enough. Why do we do this to others and accept such beliefs for ourselves?
As I more deeply embodied the discovered truth, my world opened up in profound ways. Feeling completely “high” on life! I found myself wishing for everyone such pure grace. I cannot even encapsulate in words the full expansiveness of this sensation. It overflows, bubbles forth and lifts one to a pure space of bliss.
It is the reason I created my other blog/business space – The Beingness Project, for I dream of a world where we love who we are and celebrate the differences and similarities of others. It would be a very boring place to live if we were all alike, yuck! Diversity offers us opportunities to learn, grow, explore and discover. Differences stir curiosity and wonder. Just as we would find the world extremely mundane without diverse terrain, a population of clones would drive us nuts!
Lately I have been exploring the immense fun of storytelling, for we allow fiction to stir up hope, belief and new perspectives. “Just BE YOU” is a novel that journey’s with diverse characters as they come home to their inner truth. Waking up their passions, dreams, desires, joys and curiosities. Opening their hearts and souls to feel and know that they are enough, they are worthy and the world is a playpen to frolic in.
I do not pretend to be clear of human judgment, reaction, or moments of falling down in my self worth. I definitely still have my days where I am bitten by the world around me, its discontent, chaos, separation and extreme hypocrisy pry into my psyche throwing me into judgment, comparison and dissatisfaction. However, I am delighted that I can swing the pendulum back quicker and quicker as I practice breathing in deeply the truth of Just BEing. The world is a magnificent amusement park, full of adventures and discoveries. Can you imagine how grand it will be when everyone awakens to their ENOUGHNESS – gifting themselves to Just BE…
If you would like to begin the journey back home to your resplendent self check out some of my early vlogs and worksheets to jump start the adventure –
- Why Beingness? – Vlog #1
- How much of your life is dictated by others? – Vlog #2
- When did you stop trusting your emotions? – Vlog #3
- Do expectations control your life? – Vlog #4
- Can you imagine a life where you live free? – Vlog #5
I conclude today by asking you –
- Are you Happy?
- Do you like who you are?
- Is life an adventure or drudgery?
- Do you do what you SHOULD do, or what you WANT to do?
- Do you blame others for your discontent?
- Do you blame yourself for your unhappiness?
- What IF – you loved who you are right here, right now and evermore?
- How would your life be different if you started to live from your heart and soul?
- How would life change for you if you stopped letting fear dictate?
- What would you let yourself explore if you didn’t care what others think?
Happiness, peace, love, contentment, passion… are inside you, always. Today, Give yourself with the gift to Just BE YOU!
Join us on a fictional journey with a magazine that changes whoever opens it – click on image below.
Isn’t it fascinating how life unfolds for us, often despite our own actions. I enjoy watching people, observing their reactions, choices and way of interacting with the world around them. I often wonder, “did they consciously choose?” or “did they just go through the motions?”.
Life can change within a moment. We forget that, which is a blessing and a curse, I suppose. I catch myself getting caught up at times in the blind behavior of believing that the world “happens to me,” while in truth, I am choosing how I interact with the world.
In today’s sharing at The BEingness Project – A Fictional Invitation, will Rita be able to keep it a secret? Will she remember her inner most desires?
I hope you will join on the journey to discover what unfolds. The next page release happens on Wednesday. Until then, I ask you, what would you do if you were Rita?
As I quietly sit tucked away in my “stay-at-home” cocoon, hidden in the branches of my make believe treehouse, I am saddened by what little news I allow to trickle into my world. As a person who has “news fasted” for over twenty years, I find myself even more grateful now to be distanced from the onslaught of hyperbole and disrespect that smatters itself across the page, video screen, TV, and…
Will WE ever learn? Can WE change? Or are WE doomed to repeat our sabotaging human cycle? WE tout ourselves as “advanced,” as “civilized,” as “wiser and smarter” than the people before us. Are WE really?
From what we know historically about the human existence our patterns are blatant, a slap in the face, or pure insanity according to Einstein – “
“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former,” and “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.“Albert Einstein
What is that cycle, the insanity we perpetuate? War, revenge, greed, abuse, torture, blame – not understanding or digesting that the “grass is never greener” it is always just different. In the COVID-19 experience we have so far blamed, criticized, panicked and now protest. Are we civilized?
Definition from Cambridge Dictionary: A civilized society or country has a well developed system of government, culture, and way of life and that treats the people who live there fairly.
Pete Seeger wrote a song that lyrically reveals our repetitive tale, just hit repeat and you can play it century, after century (Preformed below by Peter, Paul and Mary).
Could WE look at this time as an opportunity, a chance to pause, a time to come together to make new choices? The song below is one that remains in my memory bank, it encapsulates our human “insanity” as labeled by Einstein.
Buried treasure conjures up images of gold, jewels, gems, silver, piles of money…? I question, will this treasure:
- Feed me happiness?
- Buy me true friends?
- Purchase passion?
- Acquire bandaids for unhealed wounds?
- Settle debts of unforgiven moments
- Provide me with food when their value set and accepted by humans is nulled or destroyed?
- Procure me peace?
As we tour the ruins of previous “advanced civilizations,” are we offered a glimpse into our behavioral patterns? Are they role models of what did not work, along with what did work?
Shall we continue on our path, believing ourselves to be wise and advanced? Or can we humbly open up to realize that there are soon to be 8 billion different perspectives. Yep, in our “advanced” state, no two of us are alike, so why do we fool ourselves and others into thinking we should be similar, want the same things, see the world the same, etc… This will never be, unless a new virus erupts that brainwashes such change. Personally, I believe the world would be extremely boring if we all thought, believed and wanted the same things. Our differences give us opportunity to learn and grow.
Maybe Dr Seuss’s famous tale, “The Lorax,” should be revisited by us all.
Or “Horton Hears a Who…”
Here I sit wondering, “Will WE Ever Learn?…
As discussion begins to formulate around going back to work, I find myself in deep reflection. What did I learn about myself during this time? How do I feel as I stare down the barrel of returning to the 9-5 game established in this society?
My family and friends would easily share with you that I have never been very good at staying within the lines of “societal expectations”. Since I was a child there is a different drum that beats in my heart, like a far off voice, it beckons me to follow my heart’s desire, or as Joseph Campbell’s famous quote wisely shares, “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”
What a tightrope tap dance it has been for me. Like doing the “Hokey Pokey” I sometimes put my little foot in, however, more often I am yanking it out quickly, fearing it will get sucked into the quick sand of society. So many times along this journey I have quietly wished that I could be “content” with the cookie cutter society we’ve established, “just “Baaa…” along Fawn, follow the flock, be happy with what is, stop walking off the path,” I whisper to myself. The voice of “reason,” as some would call it, became even louder when I brought children into this world. In reflection, I wonder at moments, what if, I had chosen a path more in line with my values, like the movie “Captain Fantastic”. Of course part of my dream involved not doing it alone, I wished for that partner who also desired a sustainable life upon the land. Sooo.., I gave up on that dream, or better stated, I put it on the shelf where it has collected dust and cobwebs for years.
This unexpected time to truly just be with myself and my children has graced me with the opportunity to dust off the values and characters on the shelf; informing the spiders that they will no longer keep them company. In complete honesty, I started to dig into the protected chambers of my heart and soul when my son left for college three years ago, for his his sister was not far behind him. What did I desire for my second half of life? Where did I wish to live? Create, share, explore..? That time is now!
Pulling out my tightrope dancing shoes, gathering my dusted off values, passions and dreams I sit down to visit. Like grass erupting through concrete, the lusted for aspirations blossom anew. Pulling out pen and paper, my forever best friends, I make a list. What did I love about this “stay at home” time?
- I loved not commuting to work.
- I relished the quietness, listening to the layers of silence as they expanded.
- I fell in love all over again with putting words to page, allowing my muse to dictate the flow.
- I joyously celebrated the dream to “work & live” in the same place.
- My body, mind and spirit relaxed into the beautiful simplicity, the washing away of chaos, stress and worry.
- I celebrated the chance to only let in what inspired me, stirred my desires and ignited my passions.
- Relishing the completely present time with my children, sharing meal creations, conversations, movies, games and walks.
- Letting my body move without an alarm clock or tight schedule.
- Sinking more deeply into the grace that nature offers in her infinite wisdom.
- The gift to stay away from the chaos of the city, keeping my distance from the negative energy created by stress and angst.
- The chance to play with new ideas, free of demands and interruption.
- Allowing my quiet introverted soul to breathe deeply, embracing the peace that always is…
What did my list tell me? Certainly I can go back to “normal”, get back on the merry go round of commuting, punching in and out on the time clock, maintain a home, car, blah, blah, blah… Or I could begin to seriously listen to that far off voice. Encouraging the whispers of my heart and soul to rise in serenade, to crescendo into the new future.
I am curious, as we continue to navigate the COVID-19 phenomena,
- What are you learning about yourself?
- What is important?
- What are your desires and dreams?
- Do you want to go back to normal?
- Were you happy?
- Is this a new opportunity?
- A chance to reflect, dust off forgotten wishes?
I shall conclude today with another powerful quote from Joseph Campbell –
“We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it is all about.”
During this unique time in our world I hear and read everywhere the desire to return to normal. It’s as though people are holding their breath because the air presently available is foul and encroaching on life as we know it.
As I lay in bed last night, watching the bright moon glow, I found myself contemplating,
- Why are we waiting?
- Why do we want to return to what was?
- What if there is actually a new world that awaits us with positive changes?
- What if this is a rare opportunity not a curse?
I do experience that people enjoy a routine. They like familiar and predictable. I am guilty of liking some simple routines myself, such as journaling every morning, the way I have started my day for over thirty years. I also relish my warm cup of Jasmine Green tea that accompanies my pen and paper in the quiet dawning. I love walking in the grace and splendor of the natural world, to feel my body flow with the rhythm of nature’s song. Yes, I have my daily pleasures that make my heart smile…
I can honestly say though, that I often query with my heart, soul and mind – “Does this daily habit serve me? Is it helping me to co-create a more joyful expansive life?” If that search uncovers that I am doing it for others, because I “should” (yuck), or to meet some outside expectation that I do not care about, then I stop and let it go. This is a constant dance of reflective exploring, an aspect of life that morphs as I grow.
As I journaled this morning, it struck me like a lightning bolt – “What if it is not about WAITING! Instead, it is a glorious chance to learn how to BE. Maybe for the first time in your life you get to just BE. Feeling into the rich expansive layers of who you are. Taking this time to explore the nooks and crannies of your intimate heart, soul, and quieted mind.
Throughout my life journey most of the people I meet do not want to sit in their own quiet. They do not want to be still, to hear the silence, feel their own heartbeat. When I broach the subject of just BEing, I am jolted by the fear and discomfort that presents itself. This saddens me, for only in the quiet space can the inner self have a chance to bubble up, the unexplored dreams surface and the hidden desires show up in technicolor.
Yesterday on my walk, I sat by the river watching freshly released seed pods float by, like watching the flames of a campfire, I was transfixed by their tango upon the water. A pair of osprey serenaded, dancing upon the wind currents of a cloudless azure sky. To complete the perfect setting, vivid green willow buds burst upon the exquisite scene. I welcomed the serenity, breathing it in with momentous gratitude. I allowed myself to float in the sweet reverie, grateful to Just BE…
Today I invite you to BE, allow yourself the grace to feel, breathe deep, listen to your inner being, ponder the thoughts that drift up out of the quiet internal space.
Of course as we know, it is always your choice. You can WAIT, hoping for change, expanding the sensation of frustration and worry OR you can open up to feel into the NOW moment, content to Just BE.
What if this time is not about Waiting, instead it is an offer to BE???…
I joyously announce that today I OPEN and SHARE the fiction writing side of me :-). Beware, it is an ongoing tale… Click to join me – “The Inner Being Quest, Your Personal Journey Home…”