Day 53, A path of truthful transparency…

You know how you have those poignant moments in your life when a conversation stops the clock? Time stands frozen, for what is being discussed touches a deep place, it may be painful, celebratory, life altering, a pure ah-ha, or… I was recently thinking about one of those moments in my life from years ago. I was sitting at my desk putting in wine orders for the local restaurants and small stores that I sold wine to, when a colleague in the industry came into the office. I said “Hello”, she stood there looking at me and stated very bluntly, “You don’t have any secrets do you? You live your life with your truth on full display?” I was caught off guard for a moment, since the subject matter was unexpected. I allowed her stated question to soak in, took a deep breath as I reflected on my life, “Yes, you are right, I do not have any secrets, I walk and live my truth without hiding. No skeletons in my closet.” She stood there a moment digesting my response, “I bet that feels very freeing” she stated with a faraway look in her eye. “Yes, it is.” I quietly responded.

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“A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity.” ~Dalai Lama

Even though I have always felt like a bit of a misfit in a world of concrete and chaos, I have always been truthful about the life I live. It is in this truthful transparency that I am free to soar, to be, to share, to dance. Allowing the vulnerable truth to open windows, heal situations, and hopefully create a new awareness. My kids have always known that when they ask a question, I am going to share my truthful answer. There have been tender moments when I have looked at them with love saying, “Are you sure you want me to answer?”, for sharing heartfelt truth is not always the easy path, it comes with challenges, pain, change, as well as joy, celebration, and love.

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“In the process of telling the truth about what you feel or what you see, each of us has to get in touch with himself or herself in a really deep, serious way.” ~June Jordan

The most amazing gift of walking a path of truthful transparency is the peace I experience when I look in my mirror at night before bed – there in the reflection I stand. I look deep into my eyes and I know the truth from that day. I reflect, have I walked it with love, compassion, trust, faith and done my best to be in service no matter what I am doing? Have I loved and cared for myself along the way, so I have only more to give and share? Did I share kindness in all my actions? In this closing moment of truth, before I lay my head and body to rest, I get to be truthful with the most important person in my life, me. It is my time to celebrate, be grateful, forgive, and breathe into the grace of the day I was blessed to live.

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“The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.” ~Brene Brown

I have never understood secrets or pretending. They seem to lead to a trail of tribulations, fear, struggle and ultimately a sense of loss. I sit here and think what spacious-ness I feel within, for I am willing to share a truthful answer to any question I am asked. I humbly know I have made mistakes, I have learned life lessons the hard way, I have an eclectic history, a colorful memory book, it is all a part of my thus far woven tapestry. I am grateful for each thread in that tapestry, no matter its color or texture. I wish for all people to dance a life of truthful freedom, for it allows you to be present, open, humble, and real.

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“I find that when you open the door toward openness and transparency, a lot of people will follow you through.” ~Kirsten Gillibrand

As you prepare to embark on a New Year, may it be the year of free flying truth. Transparent and present with all that unfolds and becomes. A.C.T. (always choose truth) with loving awareness of your truth, while being open to the truth of others, who knows what miracles will unfold with such a journey.

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