Last Friday I went out to start my car in the garage, so that I could go pick up my daughter from her friend’s house. We were going to dash over to the local Co-op for a few basic groceries and then drop her off at home to pack for her dad’s. I always feel bad about this part, for my daughter has been packing her bags to go back and forth between her parent’s homes for fourteen years of her fifteen year old life. Not fun!! Once I got her home, my plan was to go donate plasma on my way to share time with my son, for it was his first college Family Weekend. An eventful Friday afternoon and evening, following a morning of writing, class planning, and business paperwork shuffling.
I moseyed out to the quietly resting car, opened the door with anticipation, placed all my stuff on the passenger seat, key in the ignition, turn, click..click..click…is all that greeted my ears. Oh no! You know how you hope that what you heard is not really what you heard, so you try it again, well I did – click..click..click…! Sadly, I heard and experienced correctly the first time. Dead car! I knew this experience, it had happened to me a month prior, no warning signs except the radio going on and off of its own free will.
I sat there for a moment, breathing deeply. Okay, what to do? I did not get the car checked or fixed last time because there were no funds for such an adventure, I just hoped that the gracious help of my neighbors to reboot and jump it would miraculous cure it forever. I am a fool hearted optimist.
First step, text daughter and share that I am going to be late and why. Bless her amazing beautiful heart, she quickly responded, “Ok, I’m sorry mama <3”. Next step, let’s try the tricks I learned to reboot it last time, for the car was tightly stuck in park, no movement or give, complete shut down. Miraculously last time, my awesome neighbor knew what to do, guiding me to where the little reboot switch sat. I walked around to the passenger side, got on my knees and reached into the tiny round hole to flip the switch. A hopeful pull on the gear shaft, no budge. Hmmm…, not looking good! A few more attempts, no luck.
I smiled and thought to myself, “What is the message here? What am I to do? Who do I reach out to? What am I meant to do divine grace?” Engaging in a few more calm breaths, I relaxed, knowing that the answer would come, that all would work out as it was meant to. I text a friend of mine, who I knew had an extra car. While I waited for her response, I opened the garage door to the crisp gorgeous fall day outside. The organic sweet smells wafted in from the fallen leaves and moist rain. I absolutely love fall!!
I chuckled to myself as I walked to the mailbox, my miracle may be inside this semi-cylinder box. Opening it, I pulled forth the small pile of junk mail and addressed envelopes. Ta-da, there were two envelopes with checks from students for the upcoming classes and more importantly my new credit card that was going to get me to my daughter and son today!! Thank you God, thank you divine, thank you powers that be, for once again you take care of me and mine!! I am always humbled by the pure grace of miracles. How answers come with ease, if we just breathe and trust. Were the envelopes in hand a cure all, absolutely not!! However, they were the gifts I needed to get from point A to B.
Next action step, call Enterprise to rent a car. Done! Now, click on the Uber app to get a ride to the rental location. Done! Only a four minute wait. Text my daughter, update her that I will be there soon, close the garage and wait. I stood there shaking my head and marveling at the pure flow that life presents. I chuckled at how all the little dots connect themselves, for I only had the Uber app on my phone because my last boyfriend showed me how. As I absorbed the light raindrops that fell and welcomed the soft caress of the breeze, I shook my head at the bizarre tapestry of my life. In my mind I could hear the back and forth conversation – the dance between reality, fear, and faith. I welcomed them all, I viewed them with respect, understanding the truth they each shared. Right now, I knew that what I was doing was the correct course of action at this time. I would not miss this evening with my son, it was his first year of college and I did not want to miss a moment of this celebratory journey.
A little silver Mazda pulled up with a my kind Uber driver inside. We chatted merrily on our short drive to Enterprise. I put my little tip in his cup holder and thanked him for the ride. He wished me well with the car situation, telling me to have fun tonight. The young man at Enterprise was wonderful, he reminded me of my compassionate caring son. On the road again…! I felt pretty small in the big white Dodge van, grateful to be in a machine that was running smoothly and would get me from point A to B. I knew that my daughter would be tickled, for she loves big vehicles.
Six hours later I found myself driving home in the pouring rain with love gushing from my pores. Gratitude for all that was in my life overwhelmed me, a tear slid down my cheek as I said my thanks for the miracles of the day. Are there consequences to all our choices, of course there are. It gets back to last Friday’s blog entry, the tightrope walk between past, future and the tenuous present moment. I am unequivocally grateful that life has given me one of the best gifts ever – facing fear head on! I do not react as most people do, for I have already “lost everything” once – home, car, job, possessions… I know from experience that life goes on and it goes on in a miraculous glorious way. I also know, thanks to the blessings of the elderly I worked with in the nursing home, that while possessions and professions are important pieces of one’s life, they are not what you remember most at the end. I loved sitting by their beds, watching them smile nostalgically about memories shared with those they loved. I can view my reality and know that I have not honored the true gift of financial abundance, how it can give you freedom, open doors for yourself and others. I shut that door in my youth, for I experienced unhappy negative rich people. Sadly, I met more unhappy wealthy people than happy ones, throughout most of my life. Thankfully in recent years, I have had the chance to see the other side of that coin. Now, it was about perseverance, faith and doing my best everyday to change the tide of my life. I continue to do what I know I am meant to do, write (manuscript for first book is ready to edit – whoo hoo) and teach/facilitate, while I look for work to bridge the financial gap. I will do what it takes to rise above the present situation, so that futuristically I can offer more to others and myself.
Today I sit here in peaceful joy. Humbly grateful for the journey to this moment. I am excited for all that is before me, for I know that miracles happen everyday. They are there in all the beautiful little things, the change of season, the conversation with a loved one, the food that nourishes your body, the warmth of your home, the grace of answered prayers, the gift of love…. – I encourage you to notice, for they will fill you up with such happiness and peace.
Before I close, I must share another miracle I received last Friday before I tucked into bed, a car loan gift from very dear friends. Again, I was blessed with pure grace. Before I know it, my little silver, four wheeled beast will be back on the road, taking me to more miraculous adventures.
May today be full of little miracles for you!! A.C.T. (always choose truth) with an open heart, mind and spirit, for then the miracles are illuminated into view.