When you read those words, what comes to mind? What do you feel? Do they stir any hidden desires? Are they words only for others? Do they pique your curiosity and passion?
Some of the words are rarely spoken any more, yet they are the fabric of our existence. Without the desire to explore, journey, quest, and…, life would become stagnate. It seems that often people see these words as action oriented, such as someone who goes on a quest to explore some unknown place. What I love about these words is that they can be experienced from anywhere, at anytime, if we choose.
I can sit quietly looking out my window with a curious mind and adventure with the squirrel who is busily dancing on the tree.
I can take a walk with my eyes and heart open to the journey, noticing with admiration the flowers I pass, the homes full of people with their own interesting stories, the busy insects on the sidewalk, the birds who easily move from branch to branch – how does it all interact, who are the people behind the closed door, what is the connection we all share???
I can read a book that encourages me to sojourn within, journey into my memories, hopes and dreams. Like a buried treasure I uncover aspects of the self and the world around me.
I can take a trip to a new place, where all moments are about exploration, wandering in the midst of newness, a pilgrim on an adventure to learn and experience.
I can write, paint, dance, create.., all doorways into an odyssey with my muse.
Sitting quietly with my journal, the inner quest to understand my deeper self guides me down untrodden paths.
I can meet someone new to whom I wish to learn more about, in our time together I get to pilgrimage through another’s life experience, hearing, seeing, open to different perspectives and possibilities.
Wanderlust, can be satiated through learning something new, like a language, recipe, new hiking trail, etc…. Or maybe you appeal its call through changing jobs, moving to a new home, reading a new genre book… Or if you are like me, you embrace your wanderlust through a variety of tactics depending on your present life situation.
Personally I love that my wanderlust, curious desire to explore and adventure has never died. I am grateful that my soul exposed me to the truth that one can follow these callings through a myriad of ways.
I write this at a time when I sit on the precipice of a new odyssey. I am prepping my wings for flight, where, when, how…, well that is still formulating. Since life is a glorious journey, not a destination, much of the fun is letting anticipation build, allowing mysterious expectancy to percolate, and then Ta-Da the call to take inspired action takes over. I’ll keep you posted, for much is brewing…..
My wish for you is that your childlike curiosity leads you on adventures, calls you to new quests and opens your heart, soul and mind to the joys of exploration….
Only when you listen, will you hear my beckoning desires.
Do not come to me with your need and want contrived by society.
Do not come to me wishing to penetrate in self disguise.
Do not come to me wishing to possess or play games.
I am like the air, I cannot be contained, held or captured…
However, I will gladly stay, I will blossom beyond your wildest dreams if you…
…touch me as though you are blind.
…taste me as though you have no thirst.
…listen as though you are deaf.
For as you unify with the mysterious wild woman, all falls away to expose the truth….
I am here….
Where are you…?
~ Fawn Caveney 7/21
I recently returned from a trip that expanded my present transformational journey, for when one sets upon a quest with an open heart, soul and mind, the swirling encounters awaken vast insights.
As a foreigner in a distant country I was titillated by the power of being anonymous, lost in a sea of chaos that I did not need to understand. I was free to be me. Wandering the streets, beaches, historical sites, and delectable restaurants I allowed myself to feel, taste, explore and be seen. Vulnerable yet unafraid, adrift with no expectation, attachment or preconceived desire, I was a wild woman dancing in curiosity and flowing openness.
Upon arriving back on the shores of my homeland, I found myself surprised by what percolated forth from the experience. A reoccurring awareness, an old friend, a circling back to my youthful knowing. As a woman growing up one is silently taught to behave a certain way, only want specific things, and definitely do not express yourself as a “wild woman.”
In a patriarchal world I was taught to hide my sensuality, present my authenticity in respectable ways and squelch my wild untamed nature. I have never been good at this. More to the point, I do not wish to be good at it. Thankfully I grew up surrounded by nature, held and nurtured by the true wild and free. This planted in me a knowing, one that has thankfully nudged me in moments when I have forgotten the true power of my feminine energy.
During my adventure abroad I was approached by various men. My immediate reaction was caution with a twinge of skepticism. However, as my wise female traveling friend can tell you, I ooze with positivity and openness, so…. I allowed the court-ish play and absorbed the attention. Meandering down the streets of their outspoken desires, I knew I was at choice. As I present this I can feel the paradoxical reactions, they race in like flies to rotten meat. I danced along the tight rope of my own desire to be seen and wanted, while staying vigilant to the wise woman’s voice from within.
I reflect back with a smile, grateful to have met unique masculine souls along the way. They were juxtaposed into the trips original purpose, “Soul Sisters” coming together for a female vacation of play. Ahhhh, I love the intensity of life’s perfect timing and coquettish frolic. The dynamic women I was gifted to explore with came in diverse ages, backgrounds and life experiences. Intensifying this profound mixture of masculine/feminine energy was the most powerful source of all – nature.
Feeling my body glide into the Mediterranean and silky reed filled lake, called forth that Wild Woman. Listening to the cacophony of cicadas, who’s mating song was held in the moist sultry air only heightened the awareness. Sublime ecstasy. Gentle breezes and delicious wind bursts, generated their own wistfulness. I found myself completely swept off my feet. Innocently graced to live each moment in complete presence, no yesterday, no tomorrow, just the vibrancy of now.
As I massaged the intricate aspects together I marveled at the voluptuous experience. Once again I was reminded of the profound Wild Woman Soul. I wish for every woman to tap into this instinctual infinite source; to invite, welcome and rebirth into her true feminine power.
What does this mean? It means you get to live vibrantly alive, sharing and expressing your authentic self. It means you get to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ without apology. It means you get to unabashedly express your desires and passions. It means you get to blossom and reveal as you feel called, free of all expectation, attachment, judgment and labels. It means you dance wild and free….
Over and over again in my life I have found myself saddened by the loss of the Wild Woman. I see it and feel it in the eyes of the women I meet, yet, they hold it back, they force it to stay confined in the cages built by a society intimidated by its powerful force.
Within every woman there lives a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, & ageless knowing. She is the Wild Woman, who represents the instinctual nature of women. But she is an endangered species.
— Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Author of Women Who Run With the Wolves
My second night back in the states, I was jolted awake by my muse, who shared very clearly what is to come next for me. I chuckle, for again, I pick up the torch, called by my soul to invite women to join me in Awakening their Wild Woman. In the past I have had the privilege and honor to work with women in various circles, helping them to remember how magnanomous they truly are. My recent life choices and exploratory adventures bring me back home to my calling and purpose – I am here to hold up a mirror, so you may see the Wild Woman that awaits your permission to fly free.
It has been way too long since I shared words upon this page. Sometimes I give in to the calling for a quiet hiatus, pausing to reflect, feel, explore and just BE. Often in this crazy world we forget what Just BEingcan feel like. It seems to be ingrained into our personal psyche that if we are not DOing we must BE failing. I completely disagree!
The chaotic zoom of the world even in these times of COVID, incessantly taps on us like a crow pecking on a scavenged dirty cracker found upon a sidewalk. Over time we have become immune to such bombardment, calloused to the dings upon our “lifeblood” phone, the small inanimate object we take everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, YouTube, the list continues to expand. I am not against technology, I am actually very grateful for how it has kept my scattered family connected during these isolated times. As a writer at heart, I love coming to the page to dance with my muse, leaving behind the typewriter white out and loud din of pecking on the keys. WhatsApp delights me, for I am free to communicate when I want, for as long as I desire and in whatever format I feel like engaging in – audio, images, video, all of this at my fingertips, literally.
Just BEing, seems to be a forgotten playmate and lost gift. As a child you engaged with it all the time, for it sparked creative ideas, imaginary scenes and pure bliss. As you grew up, you inhaled the taught (domesticated) expectations, accepting without question that there was only one path to happiness. You pushed aside your precious inspiring playmate to engage with the “to do” list, goal chart, success ladder, asset collecting, bank account and programed paradigms of societal expectations. Now, please understand, I am not against any of the above listed things, matter a fact, I engage in all of them. I ask them to align with me, my dreams, my passions, my priorities and personal desires. It allows me to design my unique empowered path.
During my recent hiatus from this page and my other blog The BEingness Project, I explored more deeply the authentic truth
“And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.”
As I deeply feel into what I desire for the next phase of life, I give myself permission to squish around the sensations of each idea. As though I am an explorer investigating the textures, smells, sounds and ambiance of a puffy white cloud. Suspended above my purposed next adventure, I take it all in – why, where, who, what… It has been my life experience that we jump like a frog to the next lily pad hoping that it will “fix” our problems, change our situation, or answer our unspoken and unidentified hearts’ desire. While the leaping in and of itself is intoxicating and thrilling, it does not change the reality that wherever you go, there you are. As I play with the soft red clay that forms my life, I give myself the time to unearth the richness or deprivation of each scenario. Does it lift my wings or is it another distraction, an escape route that ultimately leads back to the same dead end cul de sac?
Oh I am poised to jump! All my muscles are taut and ready for my invitation. Delightfully wisdom has started to blossom in full glory, encouraging me to BE, to FEEL, to allow myself the TIME to witness the possibilities as they play out within my heart and soul. What calls me, pulls me towards my song, my story, my sharing…? Cutting away at the puppet strings attached without my knowing, I float in the free fall, trusting the parachute of my own inner GPS guidance. What an exciting time, to stand at the edge of a new horizon, vast, limitless, infinite and grand… The only limitation is that which I put upon myself. Lifting my wings, responding to my poised muscles and heart strings, I set sail. There is no RIGHT or WRONG path, only the knowing that I choose to live a life of no regret. As the astute saying shares, there is no Uhaul that follows us when we pass from this life, thus I wish to fill the coffers of my time here with vapor held experiences, rich colors painted upon my heart, breath stopping memories of love and grace, and laughter that carries me home…
Thank you for joining me today, I forgot how much fun it is to BE with you 🙏🏻💖. It is my absolute life passion that each and every one of us remembers how to BE, how to hear and feel our heart/soul call. Rising into a life of passion, dreams and desires. When we walk naked on this path of personal truth, we touch and lift all who connect with us along the way!
If you enjoyed this little blog, here are a couple of old posts that invite BEingness into your life ❤️
If you are following the magazine that speaks click here – “Just BE YOU”
As my regular readers know, I recently embarked on my next new adventure – living in the middle of the city in a tiny space (approximately 250 square feet). I have now been here two complete weeks and I can honestly say “I love it!”.
This last week I biked to work every day, taking five to ten minutes from door to door. My lonely car looks at me from the parking space, wondering why it has been abandoned. Daily I explore my current stomping grounds, admiring the changes that occur over the course of a day. The wee hours of early morning present such quiet freshness, street lights illuminate the diverse houses of this old part of town. Fallen leaves and mature acorns crunch on the sidewalk beneath my feet as I weave through the neighborhood. Evenings find me roaming farther afield, stretching the sunset for as long as I can. I admire the play of light on church steeples, carefully planted flowers and towering trees covered with their autumn attire.
Yesterday I treated myself to a morning latte, ordered from an adorable little cafe (Hyde Perk Coffee House) tucked into the Hyde Park zone . Walking up to the COVID created outdoor window I placed my order. While I waited, I enjoyed the tranquil street offering haloed quaint shops and restaurants.
As I sink more deeply into this simplified life I find myself celebrating the freedom to focus on my passions. Imbuing them with new vigor and delight. In decluttering and reducing the demands in my life, there is no denying or avoiding, the truth of my desires fill the space, beckoning me with intensified zeal.
It is strange after twenty two plus years to focus on just me. Being a mom has been the most precious and important role in my life thus far. Throughout the journey I always strived to maintain the woman within, juggling to balance the needs of my children and self. Now that they are off exploring their worlds, I find myself looking to the horizon with fresh eyes. Inviting the odyssey! Welcoming exploration! Bounding with faith into passions that stir my soul.
Keeping it simple has rekindled my enthusiasm. I feel like a fresh twenty year old, saying loudly, “bring it on!” I engage vibrantly with curiosity at what will happen next, for when we give wings to our passions, they lift us into exhilarating adventures. This is way better than being twenty at the beginning, for now I carry with me the wisdom of many life experiences.
I chuckle at all that has happened just since June, especially during such crazy times on our planet. I have been blessed to work and live on a farm in San Juan Island, Washington, I then came back to be called to the next change – living tiny in the center of the city. I am very excited to see what I attract next into my life experience. Watch out world, this girl is enthusiastically soaring into her “second life” with joyous gusto!
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.
Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.
There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.
This above all; to thine own self be true.
Provoking Questions for this week –
How do you fuel your passions?
What would you do more of, if you did not have such a long “to do” list?
If you had all the money you wanted, how would you spend your time?
If you were living your passionate life, what, where, how would you be living?
Do you live in the present day, or stuck in yesterday and or dreaming about tomorrow?
What excuses do you tell yourself over and over for not living your full life?
Thank you for journeying with me – isn’t life a grand adventure!!
If you are following the great adventure of Rita, Francine and Ken’s life click on the image below to learn more about the miraculous magazine 🙂 –
Can you remember a time when you were happy? When you really liked who you are?
As a person who has always been intrigued by learning, experiencing and exploring interpersonal aspects, I have spent the last thirty-five years investigating myself, others and the world around me. My bookshelves burst with self-help books. I engaged in workshops, classes, certificate programs, attained degrees, tried different jobs and…, all in quest for happiness and self-love.
About five years ago I finally woke up. Looking around me at all I had done, watching people on the streets, listening to colleagues, friends and family, I began to fully understand and more importantly KNOW from within that each and everyone of us is already perfect in our own unique way. No one needs fixing. Everyone is worthy. Everyone is enough. Everyone is on a journey doing and being the best they can in all moments.
As I breathed deeply into this new found sensation, I felt myself joyously relax. A new depth of peace filled my soul. Joy gurgled from my very core, oozing out through my pores. Curiosity, wonder, love, passion, desire and pure delight sparkled in my conscious and unconscious being.
The ultimate Ah-Ha rippled through my very essence – awakening within me the truth of truths – All we have to do is JUST BE.
Each of us is a glorious sparkling star in the galaxy of humanity. Beautiful as a solo light, however, even more spectacular in the magnanomous milky way of diversity and concordance.
For years now all I have wished and dreamed for is that all people come home to the quiet loving space which resides within. Discovering their quintessence truth – they are enough, they are worthy, they are perfect.
In a world where judgment happens first and kindness swings in last, we begin at a very young age to see ourselves as inadequate, not enough. Why do we do this to others and accept such beliefs for ourselves?
As I more deeply embodied the discovered truth, my world opened up in profound ways. Feeling completely “high” on life! I found myself wishing for everyone such pure grace. I cannot even encapsulate in words the full expansiveness of this sensation. It overflows, bubbles forth and lifts one to a pure space of bliss.
It is the reason I created my other blog/business space – The Beingness Project, for I dream of a world where we love who we are and celebrate the differences and similarities of others. It would be a very boring place to live if we were all alike, yuck! Diversity offers us opportunities to learn, grow, explore and discover. Differences stir curiosity and wonder. Just as we would find the world extremely mundane without diverse terrain, a population of clones would drive us nuts!
Lately I have been exploring the immense fun of storytelling, for we allow fiction to stir up hope, belief and new perspectives. “Just BE YOU” is a novel that journey’s with diverse characters as they come home to their inner truth. Waking up their passions, dreams, desires, joys and curiosities. Opening their hearts and souls to feel and know that they are enough, they are worthy and the world is a playpen to frolic in.
I do not pretend to be clear of human judgment, reaction, or moments of falling down in my self worth. I definitely still have my days where I am bitten by the world around me, its discontent, chaos, separation and extreme hypocrisy pry into my psyche throwing me into judgment, comparison and dissatisfaction. However, I am delighted that I can swing the pendulum back quicker and quicker as I practice breathing in deeply the truth of Just BEing. The world is a magnificent amusement park, full of adventures and discoveries. Can you imagine how grand it will be when everyone awakens to their ENOUGHNESS – gifting themselves to Just BE…
If you would like to begin the journey back home to your resplendent self check out some of my early vlogs and worksheets to jump start the adventure –
Click on Image at the bottom of blog for the continued adventure with Rita, Francine and the miraculous magazine. Who might find one next? How is it changing life’s? What is happening for Rita and Francine as they open and feel?
I am curious, have you ever done something you thought was silly, yet you just had to do it? Your mind would not shut up until you did it?
Moved somewhere because the place would not stop haunting you?
Ever dreamed of experiencing something, thoughts of it flowing into your mind without invite?
Wanted to try another job or place – but let fear control you?
My time on San Juan Island, Washington at the polycultural farm was one such experience. I continue to be so grateful for that time and all I learned. Since my return to Boise, Idaho I have had many people say, “I’m so sorry it didn’t work out.” My response to this caring statement is “It did work out, perfectly.”
When did we learn to view our life through the lens of “Success or Failure?” Is not life an adventure full of twists, turns, spins, ups and downs? If I was always happy and satisfied, how would I know, if I did not have relevancy by feeling otherwise. If I saw everything I tried that I did not like or enjoy as a failure, would I not be teaching myself shame and fear?
How do we know, if we do not try?
When your child begins to walk and falls down, do you tell them they are a failure? When a friend embarks on a new relationship, do you tell them not to do it because it might not “work out?” When did we become so judgmental and afraid to try? We definitely were not born that way.
Today I sit here smiling at another opportunity I am preparing to experience. I am excited and open to all it shall offer me. I have no idea if I will love it or not. If it will be right for me or not. What a thrill to go for it and try!!
As I shared in my last blog, I received the unexpected news that I get to move from the lovely pond sanctuary, opening the space back up for the family who owns it. The last few years have found me craving a small simple space where I walk or bike everywhere. A place that is easy to care for, thus giving me more time to write and pursue other things I find pleasure in.
I joyously get to move to such a space this next week – embarking on my next adventure in this life. Will I enjoy it or not? I don’t know. What I do know is that I will not know unless I try.
The space is teeny tiny (approximately 200 sq ft), full of charm, close to everything and perfect for this Writer to explore more.
When I visit with people asking about their passions, desires, wishes and dreams – I am often met with a surprised blank look. The words, “I don’t know,” often follow. Or, “I’ve never thought about it.”
I wonder, if we took away the judgment, comparison and shame, would more people go for it? Is not life about enjoying the journey? Being in the moments we never get back? Enjoying the sensations such an experience offer us?
Personally, I prefer to view my life as “It is always working out for me.” When I look back in the rearview mirror of my life, I smile, for it is miraculous how all the experiences are dots on a road map of this grand adventure. Each one could not exist without the one before it. Was it all fun? No. However, I would not trade any of it, for I would not be me, here today celebrating life’s next unfolding – I know it is working out for me.
This blog entry is an invitation.
Feel the inspired callings…
Let go of fear…
Leap with trust and love…
Go For it…
Live a life of NO regrets…
All that is certain is uncertainty – thus the now moment is precious…
Do you have that favorite movie you have watched over and over and over again? What about a TV series that you still smile about, even though you watched it years ago? Are there movies and shows that you secretly watch only when you are alone, never telling someone because they might think you are silly, too romantic, or crazy? Is there a book that you have read over and over again? Perhaps it is a book you bought a copy for all your friends, cause everyone will love it like you do, right?
I can honestly answer yes to all of the above. What is it that makes us come back to a movie? Nostalgically remember a show? Keep a book on our shelf forever?
It is the feelings we get when we watch or read. They give us opportunity to vicariously experience something, give us hope, help us to believe. Some offer us laughter. Others inspire, help us to not feel alone, ignite passion, or simply let us be for awhile. Sometimes it may not be the show as much as who we watch it with, a sweet memory forever etched in our heart.
We choose to watch for many reasons, however, those reasons are tied to an emotion – whether you want to admit it or not.
Many people will say, “I want to escape,” “disappear for awhile,” “forget everything for a bit.” I completely own and admit this reason for disappearing into the world of a movie, show or book. It is delightful to live through the characters, leaving my life behind to feel, dream and imagine.
For most of my life I have written only nonfiction, which my library reflects as my chosen genre. While I enjoy reading a great fiction novel, they seem to be more rare and less often. During my furlough time with COVID I was called to the page in a new way. It caught me off guard and yet I allowed my muse free rein. I began the fiction novel I now share excerpts from three days of the week. Taking my reader on a journey through the life’s of the characters.
I am having so much fun in my writers imaginary world. I now have so many questions for the authors of fiction – how do you leave your characters, how do you come back into the “real world”, how do you keep it all straight while residing in two worlds???
Like watching a good movie I get to disappear for as long as my body will acquiesce to sitting in one place. I get to imagine how it would feel, letting the plot surprise me as it presents itself. I find myself desperately wanting to hide away, to run to a remote little cabin where I can write uninterrupted until the pen is satisfied and complete. I visualize the day when I will not wedge my writing into a forty hour work week.
Already I feel other story ideas generating, bubbling to the surface. I joyfully watch them percolate, knowing their time for birthing shall arrive in perfection as it always does. Right now I get to enjoy every moment I am graced to play with the characters of The Beingness Project – Your Personal Journey Home. They have become a part of my family. I excitedly await the new people I get to meet when they show up unexpected. Oh what fun it is to feel and be in this other existence, a true “fly on the wall” in another time and space.
I invite you to join us as the story unfolds. Today’s excerpt – Day 5 . Will Rita tell her best friend? Will her children wonder what is happening?
I welcome your thoughts, input, and as I have shared constructive noticing when I make a mistake, for I am not an editor, I’m a free flowing writer, who lets the words run wild.
In conclusion, I ask again –
Why do you watch and read again?
What are we craving and desiring when we revisit a movie, book, show?
In the United States one of the first questions people ask another when they meet is “What do you do?” or “Where do you work?”. From the response we begin a litany of judgments within our head, cornering this person into what we perceive someone will be like if they are a teacher, accountant, pilot, engineer, server, nanny, CEO, director, singer, etc… Did you notice your reaction to each title? It is entertaining to observe how programed we are.
When I am working with clients I like to ask, “Do you have anything fun planned for the rest of your day?” or “What do you like to do?” It is fun to watch them react to such an unexpected question. I personally don’t want to know what you DO. I want to know what fills you with JOY. What puts a smile on your face, a dance in your step and fills your life with sweet memories.
As I continue to write “The BEingness Project” (today’s excerpt) novel, I’m having a delightful time allowing the characters to share their truth about what brings them happiness, fills them with excitement, passion, desire… I do not pretend to know or predict, I truly let them present to me as the words flow onto the page. What a joyous play date – a double dose of joy – I get to write, my innermost love and I get to learn about a new person.
As a child we naturally gravitate to what delights and entertains our innermost desires and wants. Then “growing up” and “adult training” ensue, deflating our essential intrinsic path to joy. I have always wondered why we bought into such a contrived way of living.
I invite you to join us as we explore and learn with our characters how to find our way back to the inner joy that has been waiting patiently for our remembering. Each person is a unique experience and unfolding… Below is the novel from this weeks journey. Click the image below to read how Rita is re-discovering what brings her JOY… Will her secret get discovered?
What brings you JOY? What do are you passionate about? What gets you out of bed in excitement and anticipation?
At the young age of fifty-five, I find myself joyously standing in the center of that which has been and that which is preparing to blossom. An eloquent juxtaposition that feels like a merry-go-round spinning with exquisite suspended scenes.
In addition to my age gracing me with the realization that a lot of life has been lived, my children now soar off into their own adventures, pushing me out of the nest. As the truth becomes absorbed cellularly I find a gleefulness that encapsulates the carefree wild child I was and the passionate wise woman I am. Uniting and marrying the two for prophetic adventuring. A smile spreads, curiosity ignites, rhapsodic imagination takes flight.
In My Second Half…
I know I am worthy and divinely perfect as I am…
I unabashedly live, love, and explore…
I witness the beauty in the mirror, celebrating the gifts of time…
I gleefully embrace my enough-ness, freeing myself of unsolicited opinions…
I canter at full speed into the arena of my passionate dreams…
I leap with complete faith, burying with fervor the crib of regret…
I acknowledge with great gaiety that I am a success and always have been…
I sever the twine issued by judges, critics and fearful fanatics…
I am free to BE me, gyrating with grace into the infinite expansion of self…
I pledge to live engorged at the table of life…
In my second half, I welcome the rhapsody Carpe Diem…
Yes, everyday is a fresh stretched canvas. A posed pirouette. A barren page. A ballad awaiting melody. Oh what delighted mirth awaits in My Second Half…
As discussion begins to formulate around going back to work, I find myself in deep reflection. What did I learn about myself during this time? How do I feel as I stare down the barrel of returning to the 9-5 game established in this society?
My family and friends would easily share with you that I have never been very good at staying within the lines of “societal expectations”. Since I was a child there is a different drum that beats in my heart, like a far off voice, it beckons me to follow my heart’s desire, or as Joseph Campbell’s famous quote wisely shares, “Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls.”
What a tightrope tap dance it has been for me. Like doing the “Hokey Pokey” I sometimes put my little foot in, however, more often I am yanking it out quickly, fearing it will get sucked into the quick sand of society. So many times along this journey I have quietly wished that I could be “content” with the cookie cutter society we’ve established, “just “Baaa…” along Fawn, follow the flock, be happy with what is, stop walking off the path,” I whisper to myself. The voice of “reason,” as some would call it, became even louder when I brought children into this world. In reflection, I wonder at moments, what if, I had chosen a path more in line with my values, like the movie “Captain Fantastic”. Of course part of my dream involved not doing it alone, I wished for that partner who also desired a sustainable life upon the land. Sooo.., I gave up on that dream, or better stated, I put it on the shelf where it has collected dust and cobwebs for years.
This unexpected time to truly just be with myself and my children has graced me with the opportunity to dust off the values and characters on the shelf; informing the spiders that they will no longer keep them company. In complete honesty, I started to dig into the protected chambers of my heart and soul when my son left for college three years ago, for his his sister was not far behind him. What did I desire for my second half of life? Where did I wish to live? Create, share, explore..? That time is now!
Pulling out my tightrope dancing shoes, gathering my dusted off values, passions and dreams I sit down to visit. Like grass erupting through concrete, the lusted for aspirations blossom anew. Pulling out pen and paper, my forever best friends, I make a list. What did I love about this “stay at home” time?
I loved not commuting to work.
I relished the quietness, listening to the layers of silence as they expanded.
I fell in love all over again with putting words to page, allowing my muse to dictate the flow.
I joyously celebrated the dream to “work & live” in the same place.
My body, mind and spirit relaxed into the beautiful simplicity, the washing away of chaos, stress and worry.
I celebrated the chance to only let in what inspired me, stirred my desires and ignited my passions.
Relishing the completely present time with my children, sharing meal creations, conversations, movies, games and walks.
Letting my body move without an alarm clock or tight schedule.
Sinking more deeply into the grace that nature offers in her infinite wisdom.
The gift to stay away from the chaos of the city, keeping my distance from the negative energy created by stress and angst.
The chance to play with new ideas, free of demands and interruption.
Allowing my quiet introverted soul to breathe deeply, embracing the peace that always is…
What did my list tell me? Certainly I can go back to “normal”, get back on the merry go round of commuting, punching in and out on the time clock, maintain a home, car, blah, blah, blah… Or I could begin to seriously listen to that far off voice. Encouraging the whispers of my heart and soul to rise in serenade, to crescendo into the new future.
I am curious, as we continue to navigate the COVID-19 phenomena,
What are you learning about yourself?
What is important?
What are your desires and dreams?
Do you want to go back to normal?
Were you happy?
Is this a new opportunity?
A chance to reflect, dust off forgotten wishes?
I shall conclude today with another powerful quote from Joseph Campbell –
“We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it is all about.”