In my last blog, I presented some of the opportunities life has gifted me with to explore Choice, to choose being a “victim” of my life story, or a “hero” lifted by gratitude.
Are you tired of hearing yourself tell the story about what “happened to you” AGAIN?
Are you ready to let go, surrender, forgive and thus open up space for more?
Do you prefer to repeat life patterns over and over and over again?
Do you enjoy being stuck in mediocrity and suffering?
Writing that last post was very difficult for me, I hear people say you have to share what you’ve come through, so people can relate. Yet, why? Why do I want to focus on that which was? Why would I not wish to live and celebrate in the here and now?
As I work with clients, and teach classes/workshops I am often shocked by how most people want to carry around their “sad story”. They choose to stay stuck between yesterday’s negative experience and today’s opportunity.
I wish for all people the pure Grace of Beingness! The Freedom, Peace, Joy, Expansive Gratitude and Playful Wonder of this space just makes me smile from within, creating a simple giggle.
I close today by asking you, “How do you want to journey life – stuck in your chosen suffering or dancing in the grace of Being?”It is Your Choice….
Today I challenge you, write down all the “stories” you have told over and over and over again while holding a negative emotion/energy.
Ask yourself if hanging onto this story serves you?
We shall explore more tomorrow.
If you Choose “Learning to Dance in the Grace of Beingness“, then continue to join me, for we shall explore more about Beingness and then next week dive into Transformation.
What has brought me to this page to write about “Beingness”? In the chaotic busy world we live in, it almost sounds backwards from what we are taught. “Just Do It” is the mantra, right?! The key word there being “DO”.
I respect and honor that life does requiring us “Doing”. However, I have learned the hard way, that if you do not first live from that place of “Being” the DO is like swimming against the tide in a hurricane.
Who am I to write such stuff, you may ask? How can I remotely know how challenging life can be?
Well, life has gifted me with many opportunities to vulnerably surrender into the pure grace of BEINGNESS. I’ve had so many opportunities to “give up”, feel like a failure and choose not “good enough”.
Here are a few of those cutting edge times (perhaps you will relate):
I watched my car get pulled away because I could not make the payments. Leaving me and my two young children with our walking feet and bikes for a year and a half (my daughter was in first grade, my son in fourth).
I closed the door to my home of sixteen years, as the mortgage company took possession, for I could not make the payments. This amazing home grew me up as a woman, witnessed the birth of my two children and graced me with solace and peace in the storms of life.
I have lost jobs without warning, leaving me with no way to provide for my children and self.
I have juggled working three jobs to make ends meet.
I’ve experienced having only a $1.76 to my name and wondering how I was going to feed my family and keep a roof over our head.
I went back to college full time in my forties, while working a job and raising my 6 year old daughter and 9 year old son. At this time we had no car.
We had to move in with an incredibly gracious family for five months. Three teenagers, three adults, one bathroom in 1800 square feet. My 16 year old son and I were roommates during this time, his bed rested less than two feet from mine.
I had every penny garnished from my bank account by a credit card company. The money was for rent, food, and living expenses for my children and self. It was ALL gone. Discovered this loss as I tried to pay for our groceries.
These are just a few of the times in my life where I was pushed up against the wall to make a Choice.
The pure state of “Beingness” is the loving grace that calls one home to a truth beyond verbal sharing. It is the infinite calm in the storm, the peace in the chaos, the light in the dark… In a world that teaches “Do”, I wish to help you remember and discover the empowering gift of “Being” – for it is the loving, peaceful center within the storm.
As you more deeply explore and become acquainted with your relationship to Expectations (attaching worksheet here, just in case you missed it) you can empower yourself to make choices. Do your self-imposed Expectations serve you or not? Do they enhance your life experience? Create a sense of peace, expand love, spread joy, open up more, etc..? Or do they burden you? Limit your capacity to relax and enjoy? Impact your health and well being?
As you become aware of your sneaky Expectations, you will begin to understand how they can often cripple and harm your relationships and quality of life. Do not criticize yourself for any of them, for many came into your world through the Domestication process. An example might be – what is your Expectation for cleaning the space you live in? Your Expectation for who you should date, marry, share time with or even talk to? Your Expectation of what you should be wearing?
As I journey and keep vigilant awareness around my thoughts and choices, I notice that some Expectations have served me for years, such as my workout regime. However, like all things, our needs and desires morph, so it is important to adjust accordingly. Recently I have been exploring what is my “new” Desired Expectation with regard to working out. I no longer enjoy or wish to push myself in the gym as I once did, it does not serve my present desires and uses. Thus, I have been releasing my Expectation of how my workouts “should” be to readjust and adapt to where I am now. Whew, what a sweet gift it is to release such pressure and judgment.
All things in life change, transform and morph. Impermanence is a given. So what we once Expected from ourselves or others may not serve today as it did yesterday. Be open to the discovery that some Expectations have never served the TRUE Self. Have fun continuing to explore your Expectations, releasing those that do not serve to open the space to BE (check out The Beingness Project post for more).
I woke today in pure, sweet, quiet grace… I could feel the nag of the human doing-ness pull on my arm. I told it to wait, to allow me the joy of BEING. As I welcomed the layered stillness and coolness of a 3:00am morning, the precious time before the world gets crazy and the chaos begins, a question rose from within me – “Why?” “Why do you get up Fawn?” “What propels you to step into each day?” “Why do you go forth into this world day after day?” “What is your ultimate truthful WHY?”
Instead of brushing such a question aside, I sunk into its expansive grace. I allowed it to cradle me like a lover’s gentle warmth. As I breathed deeply into it, I smiled at the answer which always gurgles up with such beautiful clarity – to BE LOVE. If I swim in the vibrational energy of love, all personal and outside expectations slide away, like a raindrop releasing itself from a leaf.
Today I greet you with a question – What is your WHY?
If you release yourself from ALL personal and outside expectations, if you let go of ALL do, if you surrender into the luscious grace of BEING, what rises from within as your WHY to BE?
As you explore this question, you might ask yourself, is life driving me, or am I driving my life from my WHY of BEING?
On this final day of exploring “Our Emotions” before we move into Expectations, I wanted to offer and recap some of this last weeks offerings. I share the video from “The Beingness Project” Vlog as a reminder that all we have to do is BE. In the chaotic world of today we have grown detached from our inner truth, racing from one “To Do” thing to the next, barely breathing, as we march through life without knowing what we truly feel. The ironic twist of it all, is that we are ultimately driven by “What We WANT to FEEL”, so why do we run from that which we seek, a Domesticated Paradox.
Answer these questions from the heart:
Why are you working so hard?
What do you want to achieve? Why?
Why do you want a lot of money?
Why do you want to have nice things?
Once you have everything you “want” – what then?
Why do you seek love?
What does a nice home and possessions give you?
Why do you desire to travel?
If you really answer the above questions, you will discover that at the root of them ALL, is the desire to “FEEL” a certain emotion. Such as, freedomfelt through financial abundance. Acceptance and a feeling of being chosen, when we are loved. Pridewith a sensation of successwhen we achieve a certain status. Joy, connection, and curious wonderas we travel to new places and meet new people. Peace, contentmentand an inner sense of feeling safewhen we relax within the comforts of our own home. You get the idea…
When we accept the truth that we are driven by the DESIRE to feel a certain way, we open up to the true power of our human spirit. If we first embrace the emotion we wish to experience, the rest will start to become. We must first feel joy within ourselves, to then truly experience it. Freedom is evoked from our own heart and soul, someone does not give you freedom. Peace does not reside outside ourselves, it comes from within. All that we seek exists inside us, once we Choose to own and BE in our desired emotions, our life experience begins to unfold for us.
It gets back to the simple practice of Noticing what you are feeling, Breathing deeply and Choosing what you desire to feel. Then BE it.
A strange title for sure, however I hope it made you curious to read more, for I want to share a game that may help to change your life.
Have you ever wanted to do something, but fear got in your way?
Do you have a dream for the kind of life you want to live, but you’re too afraid to go for it?
When you look back on your life do you wish you had taken more chances? Have regrets?
Are you ready to stop letting FEAR rule your life? If so let’s undertake this project together.
A Box of FEAR!!
Find a box, or container of some sort that you can decorate with inspiration. If you prefer your container to be on the computer, then create a space where you can place words or phrases.
Cut up some paper to write words, sentences or descriptions. If on the computer skip this step.
Now think of one thing in your life that you have wanted to do or say, but FEAR has kept you stuck.
As you think of this thing/sharing explore what you fear (See example below), identify the specific fear, write it down.
Now, look at the specific fear you wrote down, really see it. Take a deep long breath, honoring that fear – then tell it in your own words, “You no longer control me”- place the fear in the container/box.
As you place it in the box/container you are letting it go.
In place of the fear choose a word that is empowering, often the opposite of the fear.
Then CHOOSE one action step that you will take towards what you want to do/create/share.
Write this action step down on a piece of paper or computer. Put it where you see it many times throughout the day.
Take your action step!! (This does not have to be a big step, many little steps lead to the same destination)
I was terrified to send my first article off for publication to a magazine. As I looked at the fear it was based in “fear of rejection”. I gave “rejection” over to the Box of Fear and in its place I chose “Acceptance” with the action step of sending off the article. As a side note, it did get published :-).
I was scared to go back to college full time in my forties as a single mom with two young children and no car. My base fear was “fear of failure”. I let go of this fear, placing it in the box. In its place I chose “Courage” and “I am ENOUGH”. My action step, enroll, apply for financial aid and start back full time. Find a job on campus and get good at riding my bike. I completed my Bachelors degree.
Use this process to discover that you are brave enough, you are courageous, you are worthy, you can do it!!
Once you have built up your muscle of self-worth and self-love, you will no longer need “The Box of Fear”. Fear does not go away if you are living a dynamic passionate life, however it will have no control or limiting impact.
Fear is the grand gift that can propel you into the direction of your heart’s desire.
I find there are days or periods of time when I feel detached, as though I observe the world from a distance. I observe the hustle and bustle, feel the chaos and sense immense anticipation. I identify this emotion for me as an almost vast nothingness. I am not sad or happy, frustrated or free, just in a suspended weightlessness. I embrace that all is in process and transforming.
Like all emotions, the sensation of “nothingness” shifts. If I allow myself to feel all the nuances and subtleties, I discover that it is actually a very fine space to BE. It unfolds for me the wisdom of patience, faith and surrender. Learning that I do not need to change it, force it to be something else, deny it, or stuff it away.
In the past I have even cancelled plans to cuddle up with this emotional sensation, for I know on the other side of it I will awaken to a sweeter depth of BEING. It is an opportunity to love that which is and thus allow life to become and unfold. So often we force change, demand instant gratification, running from the awkward discomfort of not knowing.
Today is one of those days for me. I take a nice long inhale, hold it, and smile softly as I gently exhale, for I know that much is happening for me that I cannot see. Some would call this blind faith, others I suppose would see it as stupidity. I see and feel it as surrendered trust, the ultimate faith that all is unfolding and becoming exactly as it is meant to BE.
Do you ever have moments of unknown, unidentifiable emotion? Have you allowed them to BE, or forced yourself into a new emotion?
Today, I invite you to celebrate and BE in whatever emotions you are graced to experience. Allow the flow to unfurl, swirl, and dance. I encourage you to welcome the feeling of “nothing”, for it can open up some of the most amazing Ah-Ha discoveries.