Tag: life

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Time…

On By fawncaveneyLeave a comment

Time is a funny thing, it is slippery, invisible and elusive. I stare out my window, watching the summer leaves dance in the hot breeze. What does that feel like? To be stationary and at the mercy or celebration of all that is around you. A reactionary component of the big picture. Often ignored, barely noticed by the person walking by on the sidewalk. Like an individual leaf, each person floats in a world of billions. We are tossed and turned upon the breezes created by others and ourself. We react or obseeve, we cry or laugh, dance or stand frozen in the quick sand of our own indecision.

What drives us, calls us, whispers to our very soul? Can we hear? Do we listen? Are we so numbed and stuck that like the leaf we stay even though our heart beckons us to move. A victim of our own paralysis. We put our dreams upon the shelf with the other knick knacks, letting them gather dust, becoming regrets lost in time.

Dreams dance upon the wind of our heartbeat, they sparkle in the light of our imagination, and beckon in a quiet whisper…

Patience, time, faith, belief and persistence keep the spark of a dream alive. Like the farmer who plants the seed knowing that with consistent nurturing the tiny nugget will blossom into a magnificent plant. Too often we are impatient, we give up, let go and deny ourselves the opportunity to believe in the dreams that stir deep within.

I often meet people who say, “well I don’t have any dreams,” or “someday I will go for it,” or “I can’t possibly follow my dreams right now, I have all these responsibilities…” I myself have mouthed such phrases. Thank goodness the tiny voice inside never gives up. The child within me always believes, sadly sometimes I gag her wisdom and pretend I cannot hear her haunting call.

Who knows what shall grow when we believe, nurture and cultivate the seeds of our soul…

Today I sit here smiling at all the little side paths I have enjoyed in my life. Little adventures to keep the wandering spirit in me alive and curious. In high school it was to be an exchange student, my year in Australia was incredible! Last year I moved to a farm to intern, learning so much about myself, farming, and rekindling my inquisitiveness about the world around me. In college I could never decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. It took me twenty-eight years, four campuses and over 240 credits to “finish” my bachelors degree. I have loved following my muse into diverse jobs, exploring new places and spaces. Yes, my inner sprite has joyfully kept me open and engaged with the dance of life.

Growing up I was taught that life is a linear experience, you do this, then this, and then.., all of it focused on some destination in the future. Why? I have asked this question my whole life. Why? What? Why do we put such emphasis on tomorrow instead of being present today. Why do we spend so much time achieving instead of enjoying the journey. What is that destination? What will I feel when I get there?

Life is an invitation to question, explore, investigate, play, imagine, believe, create….

Gratefully I gave up on that paradigm, well maybe I never believed in it. My curious, inquisitive nature could not be held to the worn and trodden path. There is nothing wrong with this path, for many it creates and offers immense joy and pleasure. For me it felt like being caged, confined, and tamed. That’s what glorious about our individuality, like the leaf on the tree outside, we are each rare and extraordinary.

Time... hmmm…how do we want to live in the time we have? We do not get it back. It does not slow down. Personally I find it to be ambiguous in nature, sometimes frozen and suspended, at other moments it’s a speed zone, blurred and lost in the rearview mirror. Before my time is up, I invite the dreams from within to find their operatic voice, it’s time to enjoy the blossoming of seeds planted years ago…

Dreams are not about what we do, they are about how we feel as we bring them to life…

I close today wondering how you –

  • Spend your time?
  • Live life? In reaction or choice?
  • Engage with your dreams?
  • Dance with contentment, joy, love?
  • Paint your life canvas – is it your paintbrush or someone else’s?

Watch for my upcoming online courses and the opportunity to work with me – Dream Whisperer and Beingness Guide.

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Living A Spirited Coexistence…

On By fawncaveneyLeave a comment

If you have been following along with authentic journey of Rita, Ken, Francine and Doug, click HERE to continue or start this adventure.

Stepping into the unknown can feel exciting or fearful, which do you choose..? And who taught you to feel this way..?

Over the years I have gradually learned how to hear and feel my spirit or muse as I sometimes refer. Occasionally I do not understand how the image or feeling I experience can possibly come into manifested form. However, I let go with joyful trust, allowing the how, when or where, to present itself. Every time I genuinely let my spirit guide me, miraculous things happen and become.

A Journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.

Lao Tzu

When I was child my spirit walked with me, hearing me while I roamed the woods, played in trees, observed the flowing river and danced in meadows. Never did I feel alone, instead I felt true to myself, at one with the world around me. At times I would joyously talk out loud to my musing friend, sharing dreams, desired adventures and asking for guidance. Often I would burst with elation, singing at the top of my human lungs to the universe with pure glee. As I held the hand of my internal spirit the world flowed, like a gentle river, an infinite stream…

The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.

Anthony Robbins
Have you ever truly pondered where does it all begin, end..? Who am I within this expanding universe..? How do I spend my precious moments..?

As I “grew up” in the world of humans this intrinsic core of my BEing was pushed to the side. I was encouraged to ignore its presence, to shut off the joyful rudder that sang to me of life’s grand journey. I heard from all around me to “be smart,” “don’t be silly,” “you must be rational.” As I accepted this, I began to experience for the first time what loneliness truly felt like. At times this taught way of being shut down my airway, choking the very essence of my wild authentic self to death.

I kept trying to find a way to breathe while conforming to the world around me. I knew everyone was trying to help me. Family, friends, teachers, mentors, they were all doing their best, guiding me towards “success” and a happy life. Yet, the more I entrenched myself into the world of “do, conquer, force, stay on the path of others,” the more I died inside.

As the years passed by, I was coached to compare, judge and measure myself against others, graphs of success, dollars in the bank, possessions in hand and to fear that which I did not know. The more I poured myself into this contrived world, the more intensely I felt lost. I had begun to believe that I was not enough, not worthy and far from perfect.

When did you allow others to fill your crystal ball..? When did you suffocate and extinguish your spirited dreams and passions..?

My lifeline was nature. Here I could breathe. Amongst the trees I felt understood, known. The gentle flow of a river soothed and washed away the debris of society’s discontent. The gentle breeze or violent storm awakened the wild child in me, stirring her very essence into impassioned joyful faith. Screaming into the lightening and thunder, dancing naked in a torrential downpour, natures cleansing always called me home. Her earthly pulse, my beating soul and the universal cosmic orchestra, reminded me I was already enough, I was worthy of anything I could dream and that perfection lay in the arms of individual interpretation.

Thankfully the gag I had put around my spirited muse choked me into sputtering awareness. Tearing it off, my lungs filled to capacity for the first time in years. With the inhale I once again remembered the infinite joy, curious wonder, expansive love and peaceful contentment. Daily I build up this deep breathing muscle, chipping away at the facade and mask I had put on to fit in and please the humans around me.

Who might you become if you danced wild and free with your inner spirit..? What might unfold if you trusted your soul’s calling..?

Today I blissfully coexist with my spirit, my muse, my inner BEing. I let her stir the crockpot of life, intoxicating it with elixirs beyond my mere human imagining. Gracing my moments to be experienced as complete unto themself. Everything aligns and flows with perfection, imbuing my time space reality with joy, love, peace and the glorious sensation of anticipation. I know that life is working out, that as I nurture my spirit, it sprouts grand adventures, life lessons, expansive opportunities and infinite explorations.

What does this mean in common language –

  • It means I don’t always DO what I am “supposed to do”.
  • It means that I literally follow the joy or bliss as Joseph Campbell phrased it.
  • It means I allow myself to just BE, sinking into the quiet, expansive space to listen, feel and allow.
  • It means I awakened my childhood faith that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE if I believe.
  • It means that I get to consciously choose to only be around people who joyously “fill up my cup” not “drain it.”
  • I give myself permission to play everyday with my spirited muse, to imagine, to feel, to embody all that I dream as though it already is.
  • I enthusiastically let go, surrender with absolute trust, allowing my inner spirit to guide my life, to share the how, when and where…
  • I ardently fuel the flames of my desires and dreams, stepping forth on the life journey with inspired action.
  • I choose what I will hear from others, the well meaning naysayers get appreciated without accepting their way as mine.
  • I am free to choose in ALL my moments how I will feel and react.
Freedom does not come attached to a flag, government or institution. It lies within, always there, it breathes, it pulses, it vibrates eternally…

Life is a glorious journey! I can share with genuine experience that this human life is magnanimous beyond words when we step forth connected to our inner self/spirit/source – coexisting and co-creating. I just need ten more lifetimes to live and share all the amazing dreams, desires and passions that zoom around my joyful BEing…

I ask you –

  • What fills you with joy when you think about it?
  • What dreams and desires did you put on the shelf and forget?
  • If you were lying on your death bed, what un-lived dreams would stand around your bed, the ghosts of personal regrets?
  • How old were you when you stopped believing you could do or be anything?
  • When did you start comparing yourself to everyone else?
  • Are you truly happy? If not, why??? And if you had that, did that, would you now be happy? Or???
The only limitation we encounter is self-prescribed…

If you have been following along with a magazine that reminds you how amazing you are, then click HERE to read more or read it all…

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Life Windows

On By fawncaveney3 Comments

If you have been following my novel, click here to catch up or join us.

A window, like life is limited by the parameters we put around it…

What windows do you view life through? What have been the vistas to raise you? What scenes have unfolded outside and inside those windowed rooms?

During this time in my life I find myself doing a lot of walking. I have always loved to walk, it is another way I meditate, ground myself, sort through life and feel natures balm.

As I shared recently I have moved into a small studio at the top of an old Historical home. I get to watch the dance of life through my large bay window, that is and of itself an art piece. I enjoy observing the play of light, listening to the sounds from the sidewalk and street. Yesterday I observed Halloween unfolding all around me.

The other night as I roamed my beautiful neighborhood, glancing at homes, watching squirrels scurry in frenetic winter prep and peeking into the clear glass frames, I reflected on all the life windows I have lived through.

As a young child I remember the neighborhood of matching homes, we all looked exactly the same from the outside. Sandwiched into college married housing I danced in the small living room viewing the diverse people and parking lot outside my home. We moved a lot in my young years, so I examined the world through many windows. Daycare, car, bus, home, windows everywhere….

As I played out the diverse windows of my life, I marveled at how many. Life is full of windows – what do we see and feel when we look out, as we look in?

Looking out, looking in, the view is merely an interpretation of what we choose to see…

At times windows have made me feel connected to the world around me. Living tucked in nature I loved hearing, feeling, smelling and seeing the world outside my little solo window. The Whipperwill sang me to sleep, the red pine whispered the secrets of life, and the breezes shared intimate stories of oncoming change. Those outside my window peering in, watched me sing and dance, cry in loss, stomp in anger, sit lost in my aloneness, write and read, all in an attempt to know who I am in life’s window.

At other times windows have made me feel alone, separate from the world around me. Looking out I take in the interactions between people, I listen to laughter, children playing, football games, cars, planes, yet, here I sit isolated and quiet. I know I can go out and become a part of it all. Sometimes I do. While often I prefer to observe.

Sometimes we cannot see out, see in, blinded, shuttered, covered by life, or above our ability to view, life’s windows invite…

At this poignant crossroads in life I find myself reflecting on life’s windows. I am taking the time to really scrutinize the scene, looking beyond the glass and flowing curtains. Who am I in this mix? What do I choose to experience, share, be an active participant in…?

I have taken in the view from so many work windows, many of them felt like they had bars to keep me in. I would look out counting the hours until I was on the other side. As I chew on this raw truth, I smile, for all those windows helped to raise me, make me who I am today, gave me diverse experiences, taught me to persevere and choose myself.

I am grateful for the kaleidoscope of windows that has thus far graced my life. I wonder with curiosity what windows await me. What aspects of life will I get to witness? What vistas will fill my senses with joy, invite and beckon me to more? What will happen on the other side, when I walk into the room with windows, no longer an outsider.

Looking beyond the glass a world unfolds, comes to life, invites and hinders…

I ask you –

  • What windows have touched you the most?
  • What windows felt like bars?
  • What windows do you still wish to look out of?
  • How has the view out your life windows shaped you?

As I stroll past the many windows I smile with knowing that every window has a story. That every person looking out that window sees something different. They come to the window with their own personal journey, thus they can only see with that awareness. As I look at them, I can only imagine who they are, what they know, see and feel. I wonder, as they watch me walk by, what story do they write about me? Who do they observe from their perspective?

To see is to let go of the story, to allow the view to unfold with raw authenticity and wonder…

Life’s Windows let us see out while they help us to see within….

If you would like to join us on an adventure with a magazine that sees, hears and feels – Click Here

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Why Do We Watch or Read…?

On By fawncaveneyLeave a comment

For those following Rita’s awakening click here – Excerpt 5

Do you have that favorite movie you have watched over and over and over again? What about a TV series that you still smile about, even though you watched it years ago? Are there movies and shows that you secretly watch only when you are alone, never telling someone because they might think you are silly, too romantic, or crazy? Is there a book that you have read over and over again? Perhaps it is a book you bought a copy for all your friends, cause everyone will love it like you do, right?

I can honestly answer yes to all of the above. What is it that makes us come back to a movie? Nostalgically remember a show? Keep a book on our shelf forever?

In the pages I get to exist outside myself, I get to feel, explore and be.
Sometimes it is what I dream of, others shock me, while still others ignite such passion….

It is the feelings we get when we watch or read. They give us opportunity to vicariously experience something, give us hope, help us to believe. Some offer us laughter. Others inspire, help us to not feel alone, ignite passion, or simply let us be for awhile. Sometimes it may not be the show as much as who we watch it with, a sweet memory forever etched in our heart.

We choose to watch for many reasons, however, those reasons are tied to an emotion – whether you want to admit it or not.

Disappearing into a world beyond the present self…

Many people will say, “I want to escape,” “disappear for awhile,” “forget everything for a bit.” I completely own and admit this reason for disappearing into the world of a movie, show or book. It is delightful to live through the characters, leaving my life behind to feel, dream and imagine.

For most of my life I have written only nonfiction, which my library reflects as my chosen genre. While I enjoy reading a great fiction novel, they seem to be more rare and less often. During my furlough time with COVID I was called to the page in a new way. It caught me off guard and yet I allowed my muse free rein. I began the fiction novel I now share excerpts from three days of the week. Taking my reader on a journey through the life’s of the characters.

I come to the page with anticipation, what will I learn, see, feel, touch, taste, hear…??

I am having so much fun in my writers imaginary world. I now have so many questions for the authors of fiction – how do you leave your characters, how do you come back into the “real world”, how do you keep it all straight while residing in two worlds???

Like watching a good movie I get to disappear for as long as my body will acquiesce to sitting in one place. I get to imagine how it would feel, letting the plot surprise me as it presents itself. I find myself desperately wanting to hide away, to run to a remote little cabin where I can write uninterrupted until the pen is satisfied and complete. I visualize the day when I will not wedge my writing into a forty hour work week.

Already I feel other story ideas generating, bubbling to the surface. I joyfully watch them percolate, knowing their time for birthing shall arrive in perfection as it always does. Right now I get to enjoy every moment I am graced to play with the characters of The Beingness Project – Your Personal Journey Home. They have become a part of my family. I excitedly await the new people I get to meet when they show up unexpected. Oh what fun it is to feel and be in this other existence, a true “fly on the wall” in another time and space.

Oh my, what would the world be like with no stories…

I invite you to join us as the story unfolds. Today’s excerpt – Day 5 . Will Rita tell her best friend? Will her children wonder what is happening?

I welcome your thoughts, input, and as I have shared constructive noticing when I make a mistake, for I am not an editor, I’m a free flowing writer, who lets the words run wild.

In conclusion, I ask again –

  • Why do you watch and read again?
  • What are we craving and desiring when we revisit a movie, book, show?
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Vulnerable Joy and Nervous Peace…

On By fawncaveneyLeave a comment

Sometimes stepping forward in life means accepting a level of imperfection, knowing that with time, patience and persistence it will become what you envision. I have been promising myself for weeks that I would start sharing my fiction work, that I would wedge between the cracks of my full time job and life obligations the various musings that bubble up in my writer’s mind.

Today I followed through! It feels scary, vulnerable, raw, peaceful, exciting and joyful, a furious mix of emotions. I can feel within my heart and soul it is the right thing for me to do. I have always been a writer, a wordsmith beckoned to express. Words even arrive in my dreams, floating suspended on a blackboard or white empty space. They will also chant repeatedly in my sleeping head until I wake to write them down.

I did not ask for words to be my breath, they just arrive with the inhale and exhale of life...

As I walk they rise up through my legs, flowing into my heart, advancing then into my meandering mind. These are the words you will find etched in the new section titled “BEingness Musings” at The BEingness Project site. These are raw unfiltered musings, free from editing, critiquing and justifying. They arrive as flowing gifts, that I unwrap upon the page.

My fictional dance unfolds piece by piece at – The BEingness Project – A Fictional Invitation. Here you just might be surprised to discover how you relate to the characters, get wrapped up in the interwoven story and find yourself questioning the path you are on…

Stories have the power to transform, to open our hearts and minds to new horizons…

I invite you to BE with me. To dream. To live vibrantly alive. To awaken your hearts desires. To stir your passions. To remember your child-like wonder, joy, love and pure presence.

I conclude in heartfelt gratitude, for while I may not know you personally, I do feel your presence. I am humbled to have you journey with me. It is exciting and comforting to go forth into what is next, knowing you are adventuring alongside…

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My Second Half…

On By fawncaveney3 Comments

At the young age of fifty-five, I find myself joyously standing in the center of that which has been and that which is preparing to blossom. An eloquent juxtaposition that feels like a merry-go-round spinning with exquisite suspended scenes.

In addition to my age gracing me with the realization that a lot of life has been lived, my children now soar off into their own adventures, pushing me out of the nest. As the truth becomes absorbed cellularly I find a gleefulness that encapsulates the carefree wild child I was and the passionate wise woman I am. Uniting and marrying the two for prophetic adventuring. A smile spreads, curiosity ignites, rhapsodic imagination takes flight.

The flow of time enchants the moments, engorging them to be expelled in the afterglow…

In My Second Half…

I know I am worthy and divinely perfect as I am…

I unabashedly live, love, and explore…

I witness the beauty in the mirror, celebrating the gifts of time…

I gleefully embrace my enough-ness, freeing myself of unsolicited opinions…

I canter at full speed into the arena of my passionate dreams…

I leap with complete faith, burying with fervor the crib of regret…

I acknowledge with great gaiety that I am a success and always have been…

I sever the twine issued by judges, critics and fearful fanatics…

I am free to BE me, gyrating with grace into the infinite expansion of self…

I pledge to live engorged at the table of life…

In my second half, I welcome the rhapsody Carpe Diem…

Fawn Caveney

Yes, everyday is a fresh stretched canvas. A posed pirouette. A barren page. A ballad awaiting melody. Oh what delighted mirth awaits in My Second Half…

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Ode to the Blossom…

On By fawncaveneyLeave a comment

Outside my bedroom stands a glorious cherry tree. I call it the cotton ball tree, for in the Spring it becomes a round white fluff ball balancing on a dark gray leg. When viewed from the other side of the pond, it receives grand compliments like the belle of the ball, dressed in regal finery.

She is the first to don her green as the winter wanes, preparing and fueling herself to burst forth with voluptuous magnificence. Watching the tightly wrapped buds as they expand in preparation to expose themselves, beckons one to be patient. Then it happens, the soft white nearly translucent petal leans back, inviting the others to join her, telling them it is safe to open up.

If we can sit with an open heart, nature will awaken us to our inner knowing…

It is a grand party, they dance and wave on the currents of seasonal change. Quietly role modeling for the nearby trees that the time is now, a merry invitation to play.

I am awed by their extreme courage and strength, such delicate baby soft petals do not give way to the last ambushes of winters gusts. They stay perched in their efflorescence perfection. I am mesmerized by their unabashed elegance and enraptured by their swirling soft perfume.

The time of fading looms. They cling to the final glory days. Intense gales with blurring rain try to undress the dignified queen of trees. The fair ivory petals do not forsake her, they stay, grasping to the last days of their eminence.

A blanket of white bares the truth, fading with quiet acquiescence they fall. Knowing that their time in the sun has come to an end. They exalted the rising of Spring, tempting others to brave the change, now with extreme fortitude, they accept death.

Springs blanket of white shall last merely a moment in time, a mirror of life’s fleeting impermanence…

I sit in admiration of their unpretentious valor, for they did not try to burst on the scene before they were welcomed and they do not linger longer than they were invited. There is a resplendent acceptance that life cycles, birth, life, death.., birth, life, death….

As the sun worships their last moments in the cradle of leaves, I too stand in adoration of their benevolent presence and passing. Our time shall come again on the ebb and flow of seasons. I thank you humbly dear blossom for the reminder that everything has its season, blooming in perfection with the raw truth of impermanence and fragility in the presence of time.

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Visions of a Younger Self…

On By fawncaveneyLeave a comment

I sat straight up in the small wooden chair. It reminded me an old childhood school chair. The room was empty, could I actually call it a room, for there were no walls and it went on forever. The space was just vast endless blue gray light. Only me and my chair. “Where was I? Why was I here? How do I escape?” I felt weighted down in the chair, my legs unresponsive to my minds tingling panic. I encouraged myself to calm down, to breathe, to trust and let go of fear.

Like a gigantic movie screen the space in front of me lit up with a life sized scene. It was me. Dressed in my favorite blue and red jeans with flowing light blue blouse speckled with daisies. My hair was blowing in every direction, encircling my young face and my feet as always were dirty with no shoes. The six year old me stepped closer, I was transfixed by her gaze and unable to look away.

She stopped in front of me, reaching out her small little hands to stroke my cheek. Our eyes stayed locked together, a mirror of soft sky blue. In her eyes I saw such deep love, compassion, and spirited joy. They begged me to relax, to let go, to trust and be present. I felt the emotions welling up in me, a tear slid down my face as I leaned into her tiny hand, so warm, soft and gentle. The fear slid out of my body, disappearing like mist in the infinite space.

“My dear Fawn, do you remember?” she asked. Her young voice broke the still silence. Her gentle caress continued to wipe the moist tears from my face. My eyes answered her question with confusion. “What was I to remember? Had I made a promise I forgot? Then it struck me, was I dead? Had I left my physical body and now was stuck in this random space with my young self.” Her vague question had jolted my mind into high drive, which started the generator of fear again.

“Shhhhh…, it’s okay”,she soothed, continuing to touch my forehead and gray hair. I took a deep breath and relaxed back into her presence. I tried to move my lips, but they seemed paralyzed as I processed this experience. “Do you remember the dreams we used to have, the adventures we were going to go on, the books we were going to write, the places we were going to see and photograph?” a giggle filled her body as she asked the questions. Before I could answer she placed her tiny finger on my lips to stop me, softly cooing, “Watch with me“. The space lit up with a panoramic scene, the young me running barefoot down my favorite path towards our small little house tucked in the woods.

I was singing as I bounced along the trail. I looked so healthy and vibrantly alive. Free and wild in my mind, heart and soul. I completely believed that anything was possible, I could go where ever I wanted, do what I dreamed and see all the places I could imagine. The world was the frontier, full of adventures, people and new experiences.

Everything froze, washing the image away. Then suddenly there I was again, this time in my late teens. I sat under my thinking tree, a magnificent red pine that stoically held me perched above the gurgling river below. A smile crossed my face as I remembered. Warm salty tears kissed the edges of my eyes, tears of gratitude, love, joy, sadness, loss, and regret. The weight of her small hand on my shoulder kept me present, despite the urge to slip into the quiet space of a time gone by.

“Go there” she pleaded . “Feel into what we were thinking, dreaming, feeling, wanting. Remember”, her words drifted off.

I felt myself remembering, my spirited body became filled with a blend of loss, desire and ignited hope. The sobs escaped through smiling lips and undecipherable laughter. The dreams of yesterday, of the little girl and young woman permeated my very essence. In my minds eye and hearts page, I saw the books I dreamed to write, I witnessed the exploration of new places, the connection with people around the globe, learning, sharing, bridging humanity with humanity and humanity with nature.

A gasp rose up and escaped my emotionally racked body. Like a bursting comet it hit me, “I still dreamed to connect humanity, to awaken people to their unique magnificence, to bring them home to their inner state of being, awakening them to their heart and souls desires.”

It all flushed through me, the remembered awareness that nature connected us, healed and reminded us of our true inner essence.

Bridge building, that’s what I felt called to share. The bridge between human and nature, the bridge between the inner self and outer being, the bridge between all humanity, exposing our similarities no matter our walk of life or place of existence.

I looked up into the innocent wise face of my younger self, she smiled, running her velvety hand down my cheek. She leaned in, kissed my forehead and disappeared. I sat frozen, uncertain what to feel or do. My being was digesting, absorbing the intense experience. In my ear I heard her softly whisper, “Thank you for remembering, take gentle care of you and I will see you again soon.”

I sat there mesmerized by my own vibrant memories. Rekindling the wild child, the wild woman in me. Closing my eyes, I took in a tender quiet breath. As I released the cleansing air from my lungs, I blinked my tired eyes to life, uncertain in the moment what was “real” or a “dream”. I laid there, feeling into the gift from my younger self.

To be continued…

Until then, what if –

  • You sat in an empty room with your younger self, viewing the cinema of your youth, what would you witness, learn, remember?
  • What would your younger self show you, tell you, share with you?
  • What dreams did you have?
  • What adventures did you wish for?
  • What did you love to do?

Care to share….

For more from me, visit – The Beingness Project

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Paradoxical Mirrors…

On By fawncaveneyLeave a comment

I had a dream…

I gingerly stepped out onto the effervescent ice. Shivering in my nakedness, the breeze pricked my skin to life, while it soothed my heart. Stepping fully out onto what appeared to be ice, I realized with shock that it was actually a two-way mirror. In the reflecting light I could see myself, my raw vulnerable body lit up by sunlight, my graying hair floating with the winds sweet caress. As I gazed down I could see through the mirror, taking in panoramic scenes of life upon earth. A movie reel of humanity.

I stopped frozen in place. Forgetting my exposure. Losing all sense of place and time. I watched the scene below me with a raging desire to understand. The movie played on, the cast of characters filled the stage, humans and the natural world. Scrutinizing with focus through the flash of my own reflection, I witnessed the world of paradoxical mirrors.

An invitation…

What I witnessed and grew to understand marveled me. Nature played us, even though we thought ourselves mighty and smarter, it merely mirrored back to us our own behaviors and way of being upon this land.

A paradoxical crystal ball…

It is the predator and prey – the lion and gazelle…

It is the convulsing spew and soothing balm – the volcano and gentle warm breeze…

It is the fierce earth altering storm and gentle nourishing rain – the hurricane and dancing dew…

It is the destroyer and healer – earthquake and lavender field…

It is a killer and life giver – drought and sprouting plant…

It is light and dark – sunrise and obscured moon…

It is destructively ugly and enchantingly stunning – tornado swath and meadow of poppies…

It is harmonious and hostile – a forest ecosystem and inferno fire…

It is inspiring and disheartening – a rainbow and infestation of locust…

As I sat upon the shimmering surface, engrossed by the unfolding action below me, I felt tears, laughter, joy, sorrow, hope, despair… The breadth of my human emotions spanned the galaxy of possibilities. Never before had I been so keenly aware of natures paradoxical dance. It moved me from within, it frightened and fascinated.

All of sudden everything went black, a curtain pulled over my eyes. I blinked furiously, hoping to find light. An intense spark from afar expanded across the infinite space, clearing the slate before me. No longer did I see nature playing on the screen below, now I witnessed humans…

I gasped at the scenes, the human actors mirrored nature or was it nature mirroring the human?

A man beating his wife – predator and prey

Sludge from a factory, a mother caressing the face of her child – convulsing spew and soothing balm

A massive garbage dump, a woman watering her small garden – fierce earth altering storm and gentle nourishing rain

The bulldozing of a farm, the harvesting of herbs – destroyer and healer

The murder of another human, the caring craft of a surgeon – killer and life giver

The acceptance and love of another, the hate and judgment of others – light and dark

A child being molested, a child being cradled with love – destructively ugly and enchantingly stunning

A family dining together, a riot in the streets – harmonious and hostile

A person creating homeless shelters, a person ignoring a starving child – inspiring and disheartening

Again, I found myself swooning with a kaleidoscope of emotions. I sat frozen, unsure of what to feel, do, or say… The darkness swooshed in, this time I was calm, welcoming its closure and end. As the light presented itself, I quietly watched it expand, fearful and yet curious. The surface below me was solid now, a frosted, smooth white surface that went on forever. Above me the sky illuminated in glorious shades of blue, while the sun warmed my skin.

I stood up, allowing the gentle breeze to clear my mind. Then it struck me, like a bright shocking lightening bolt,

“What if human beings changed? Would the natural world mirror our choices? Could we begin a new cycle of cooperative co-existence? If nature mirrors us or vice versa, then it was possible, right?”

“Can humans change? Can we learn to live upon this planet with respect, gratitude and honor? Can we peruse our past to change the future?”

I had a dream…