When you read those words, what comes to mind? What do you feel? Do they stir any hidden desires? Are they words only for others? Do they pique your curiosity and passion?
Some of the words are rarely spoken any more, yet they are the fabric of our existence. Without the desire to explore, journey, quest, and…, life would become stagnate. It seems that often people see these words as action oriented, such as someone who goes on a quest to explore some unknown place. What I love about these words is that they can be experienced from anywhere, at anytime, if we choose.
I can sit quietly looking out my window with a curious mind and adventure with the squirrel who is busily dancing on the tree.
I can take a walk with my eyes and heart open to the journey, noticing with admiration the flowers I pass, the homes full of people with their own interesting stories, the busy insects on the sidewalk, the birds who easily move from branch to branch – how does it all interact, who are the people behind the closed door, what is the connection we all share???
I can read a book that encourages me to sojourn within, journey into my memories, hopes and dreams. Like a buried treasure I uncover aspects of the self and the world around me.
I can take a trip to a new place, where all moments are about exploration, wandering in the midst of newness, a pilgrim on an adventure to learn and experience.
I can write, paint, dance, create.., all doorways into an odyssey with my muse.
Sitting quietly with my journal, the inner quest to understand my deeper self guides me down untrodden paths.
I can meet someone new to whom I wish to learn more about, in our time together I get to pilgrimage through another’s life experience, hearing, seeing, open to different perspectives and possibilities.
Wanderlust, can be satiated through learning something new, like a language, recipe, new hiking trail, etc…. Or maybe you appeal its call through changing jobs, moving to a new home, reading a new genre book… Or if you are like me, you embrace your wanderlust through a variety of tactics depending on your present life situation.
Personally I love that my wanderlust, curious desire to explore and adventure has never died. I am grateful that my soul exposed me to the truth that one can follow these callings through a myriad of ways.
I write this at a time when I sit on the precipice of a new odyssey. I am prepping my wings for flight, where, when, how…, well that is still formulating. Since life is a glorious journey, not a destination, much of the fun is letting anticipation build, allowing mysterious expectancy to percolate, and then Ta-Da the call to take inspired action takes over. I’ll keep you posted, for much is brewing…..
My wish for you is that your childlike curiosity leads you on adventures, calls you to new quests and opens your heart, soul and mind to the joys of exploration….
Her eyes sparkle with joyful trust, her feet skip with abandoned freedom, her voice rises with no apology and her hands reach for the dust that sparkles in glittered suspension. She is free, wild and in ecstatic expression of the bliss which always is…
Her face was lined from years of living. Her eyes twinkled, bursting with memories etched like fireworks on a dark night. Her smile beckoned one to sit and listen. Her legs no longer danced, they lay bent and disfigured on the bed, raw open bed sores seeping at her hips. Her vibrant spirit encircled you the moment you stepped into her space, there was no victim in this room, no woe is me, instead one was greeted with dynamic passion, simple happiness, and a peacefulness that gently kissed you on the cheek.
Who are the “her’s” I speak of? The first is me, dancing in my childhood living room, chasing the sun dust I stirred up with my exuberant joy. The second “her” is a divine woman I was blessed to care for in a nursing home years ago. Her aliveness, grace, peace, and love still dance in my memory. She and others I cared for knew a truth, as did the child in me.
What did they know? They knew that happiness, love, peace and contentment always exist. They knew tranquility and exuberance did not exist in things outside themselves. They knew that it was accessible in all moments. They knew that no one could give it to them, yet they lovingly shared it. They knew it was a choice.
The years and space between innocent curious childhood and the wisdom of one’s latter years is full of “shoulds,” “comparisons,” “judgments,” and the measuring of oneself against a society often textured with fear and distrust. I do not have to sit very long in a cafe before I can hear someone criticizing themselves, or attacking someone else. The stories swirl around like the sound of an espresso machine, surging like the white foam with blame, shame, hurt, victimhood and discontent. It breeds like flies on a patio table, snatching up every scrappy morsel to inject the psyche with why life is so miserable.
Why do humans choose this? A question I have pondered since I was five years old. Why do we let go of our passionate desires to instead fly someone else’s kite? Why do we slam the door on the pure potential of joy? Why do we kick happiness to the curb, to welcome and invite stressful frustration? Why do we say “have to” instead of “get to”? Why do we choose to go through our days and moments on auto-pilot, waiting for someone or something else to make us better? Do we prefer to wait, to lie on our deathbed watching the autobiographical movie of regret? Why do we look in the mirror with such self contempt and hatred, for as young children we loved our reflection? I ask all of this with curiosity and a desire to understand.
In my sophomore year of college I was blessed to work at an international daycare. Here I witnessed children from all over the world. They danced, played, laughed, cried, and enacted make believe stories together. Dynamically they engaged with each moment in present enthusiasm, viewing the world as a frontier to be explored. I sensed that the older children were on the fringe of losing this curious wonderment. In their play I observed them mimicking adults, their eyes became serious, their jaw set tightly, their voices lowered into somberness, like smoke their joy, spontaneity, compassion and kindness disappeared into the passing wind gust, leaving behind a robotic body controlled by the “taught” mind.
Three years after working in a daycare, I found myself working in a nursing home. Here I discovered the grace and vengeance of aging. I was gifted to share time with souls who lived a full passionate life and others who were embittered with regret. The extreme chasm between the two slapped me stingingly as I would leave one room to enter the other. My heart and soul ached for those fighting their own shadow, their anger and inability to forgive expressed through pinches, punches, and verbal abuse as I tried to assist them to the toilet, shower or dining hall. Off the clock, I cherished the moments I got to sit and listen to the stories from those celebrating life. Stories of falling in love, having children, riding in a car for the first time, rising above struggle, appreciating the gentle flow of seasons, years, experiences, and the pure grace of a life lived fully.
In my forties I found myself teaching language arts to junior high students. Here I witnessed the cross over in technicolor poignancy. A few young people desperately clung to their innocent pure belief that anything is possible, that one could reach for their dreams with unbridled passion. The majority of the students had given up, they did not dream, instead they chased visions of their future painted on the wall by parents and society. They swallowed hard the doses of expectations fed to them with the famous mantras, “when I have lots of money I will be happy, when I get my degree I will be happy, when I buy a house I will be happy, when I marry I will be happy, WHEN I… I will then be HAPPY.
Ironically the joke is on us, for much of life is lived between the wild child and the wise elder. Thus I am forever grateful for the life altering gift of witnessing snapshots of age through my diverse professional life. They have graced me with an awareness and microscopic view that life is really just a brief sojourn. A brief interlude to experience as I choose.
Today I watch the sun dust with the pure delight of my four year old wonderment, I dance with unlimited joy, for I am not young, nor old, I am in between, kissing each spec of time with gratitude.
Today I invite you to join me, breathe deeply into the child you once were before life manipulated you.
Today I encourage you to take back the string to your own kite, feel it dance freely upon the winds of raw, wild adventurous, exploration.
Invitations to play:
Dance to your favorite music.
Sing with unbridled enthusiasm.
Daydream upon the page, letting the ink describe what your heart can imagine.
Play the “what if” game – on a piece of paper and/or in your mind play out the potential of following a dream…
Meditate quietly, letting the images and thoughts arise from within.
It has been quite awhile since I put words to this page, I have genuinely missed this dance. In some ways I have chosen to stay away to personally investigate how I embody the title of this blog, “Walking Naked Truth,” for I always aspire to live raw, open, vulnerable and authentically present.
Life to me has always felt like an epic novel, rich with layered life experiences that weave together in a vibrant tapestry. Times of gentle flow, excitement, change, love, loss, etc… Each page expressing the ebb and flow of a single hominid traversing her sojourn here upon the planet.
The past couple of years I have focused intently on what “following my bliss” (a Joseph Campbell quote) feels like. Playing with different life paths in my heart, soul and mind. Meditating and feeling into how each avenue might play out. Ironically, I found myself returning to the dreams of my early twenties. Thirty years ago I drew a plan for a sustainable community. I purchased books about cob, straw-bale and rammed earth homes, solar power, small scale farming, herbs, on and on…. Now of course I joyously add tiny homes to the mix, along with earthships, polycultural farming, and…
As I joyously reacquainted myself with these heart desires I connected the dots to more recent places and experiences that I was clinging to, such as –
Falling in love with San Juan Island, Washington (2011).
Following the agricultural community on the island.
Wanting to get back to organic farming and living in harmony with the land.
No commuting – living and working in the same place.
Engaging my body daily in physical activity – leave “all day” desk sitting behind.
Eating even more clean and connected to my food/nourishment.
Expanding my support of local and sustainable practices.
“Walking my talk” with the believe that anything is possible, dreams can come true and pursuing and living one’s passion is the dynamic tango of an engaged vibrant life.
It was time for my next chapter! At 55 years young, I get to embark on the second half of my life. My amazing fledglings have flown the nest, beginning to explore their own “heart desires”, thus I clip the tired edges off my wing feathers to soar forth into new horizons with vim and vigor.
COVID – 19 encouraged my leap of faith, giving me the reflective time to dig deep and put into action the next steps. I wrote a letter to my favorite farm on San Juan Island inquiring if I could come, work, learn, and live upon the bountiful earth. I was willing to do whatever it took, live in a tent, minimal belongings, little income, etc… I had figured out my financial bare bones to live and stay current on bills, while I carved out my new life.
Miraculously I received a positive response, the window opened for me to jump into my new reality. I took Tony Robbins words to heart, “burn the boats”, I sprung into this new chapter of life with complete commitment, I gave notice to my employer, I packed all my personal belongings, loaded my little car, spent as much time as I could with my kids and waved goodbye to Boise, Idaho after 27 years.
I find myself presently enjoying the beauty of a stunning polycultural farm, where I walk to work, engage daily in physical activity that honors the land and creatures. A small character in an ecosystem much grander than the self. Each day is a gift, learning, growing and experiencing so much. I pinch myself to make sure it is all real, feeling the gratitude bubble over.
The novel of my life is a constant work in process. What a grand adventure it is, each page and chapter unfolding and laying a foundation for what comes next. I love flipping through the pages to recall memories, to sit in gratitude for the challenging times that taught me so much, to laugh at sweet moments, and… It is always bittersweet to close a chapter, however, the paradoxical bridge between the last page and new page is a tenuous one rich in a myriad of emotions.
Where are you in the life journey? As you turn the page, is it time for a new chapter, expansion and more time in the present chapter??
If you followed your bliss, where might you go, do, see, experience…?
Thank you so much for being a part of my life book – In heartfelt gratitude…