When you read those words, what comes to mind? What do you feel? Do they stir any hidden desires? Are they words only for others? Do they pique your curiosity and passion?
Some of the words are rarely spoken any more, yet they are the fabric of our existence. Without the desire to explore, journey, quest, and…, life would become stagnate. It seems that often people see these words as action oriented, such as someone who goes on a quest to explore some unknown place. What I love about these words is that they can be experienced from anywhere, at anytime, if we choose.
I can sit quietly looking out my window with a curious mind and adventure with the squirrel who is busily dancing on the tree.
I can take a walk with my eyes and heart open to the journey, noticing with admiration the flowers I pass, the homes full of people with their own interesting stories, the busy insects on the sidewalk, the birds who easily move from branch to branch – how does it all interact, who are the people behind the closed door, what is the connection we all share???
I can read a book that encourages me to sojourn within, journey into my memories, hopes and dreams. Like a buried treasure I uncover aspects of the self and the world around me.
I can take a trip to a new place, where all moments are about exploration, wandering in the midst of newness, a pilgrim on an adventure to learn and experience.
I can write, paint, dance, create.., all doorways into an odyssey with my muse.
Sitting quietly with my journal, the inner quest to understand my deeper self guides me down untrodden paths.
I can meet someone new to whom I wish to learn more about, in our time together I get to pilgrimage through another’s life experience, hearing, seeing, open to different perspectives and possibilities.
Wanderlust, can be satiated through learning something new, like a language, recipe, new hiking trail, etc…. Or maybe you appeal its call through changing jobs, moving to a new home, reading a new genre book… Or if you are like me, you embrace your wanderlust through a variety of tactics depending on your present life situation.
Personally I love that my wanderlust, curious desire to explore and adventure has never died. I am grateful that my soul exposed me to the truth that one can follow these callings through a myriad of ways.
I write this at a time when I sit on the precipice of a new odyssey. I am prepping my wings for flight, where, when, how…, well that is still formulating. Since life is a glorious journey, not a destination, much of the fun is letting anticipation build, allowing mysterious expectancy to percolate, and then Ta-Da the call to take inspired action takes over. I’ll keep you posted, for much is brewing…..
My wish for you is that your childlike curiosity leads you on adventures, calls you to new quests and opens your heart, soul and mind to the joys of exploration….
Only when you listen, will you hear my beckoning desires.
Do not come to me with your need and want contrived by society.
Do not come to me wishing to penetrate in self disguise.
Do not come to me wishing to possess or play games.
I am like the air, I cannot be contained, held or captured…
However, I will gladly stay, I will blossom beyond your wildest dreams if you…
…touch me as though you are blind.
…taste me as though you have no thirst.
…listen as though you are deaf.
For as you unify with the mysterious wild woman, all falls away to expose the truth….
I am here….
Where are you…?
~ Fawn Caveney 7/21
I recently returned from a trip that expanded my present transformational journey, for when one sets upon a quest with an open heart, soul and mind, the swirling encounters awaken vast insights.
As a foreigner in a distant country I was titillated by the power of being anonymous, lost in a sea of chaos that I did not need to understand. I was free to be me. Wandering the streets, beaches, historical sites, and delectable restaurants I allowed myself to feel, taste, explore and be seen. Vulnerable yet unafraid, adrift with no expectation, attachment or preconceived desire, I was a wild woman dancing in curiosity and flowing openness.
Upon arriving back on the shores of my homeland, I found myself surprised by what percolated forth from the experience. A reoccurring awareness, an old friend, a circling back to my youthful knowing. As a woman growing up one is silently taught to behave a certain way, only want specific things, and definitely do not express yourself as a “wild woman.”
In a patriarchal world I was taught to hide my sensuality, present my authenticity in respectable ways and squelch my wild untamed nature. I have never been good at this. More to the point, I do not wish to be good at it. Thankfully I grew up surrounded by nature, held and nurtured by the true wild and free. This planted in me a knowing, one that has thankfully nudged me in moments when I have forgotten the true power of my feminine energy.
During my adventure abroad I was approached by various men. My immediate reaction was caution with a twinge of skepticism. However, as my wise female traveling friend can tell you, I ooze with positivity and openness, so…. I allowed the court-ish play and absorbed the attention. Meandering down the streets of their outspoken desires, I knew I was at choice. As I present this I can feel the paradoxical reactions, they race in like flies to rotten meat. I danced along the tight rope of my own desire to be seen and wanted, while staying vigilant to the wise woman’s voice from within.
I reflect back with a smile, grateful to have met unique masculine souls along the way. They were juxtaposed into the trips original purpose, “Soul Sisters” coming together for a female vacation of play. Ahhhh, I love the intensity of life’s perfect timing and coquettish frolic. The dynamic women I was gifted to explore with came in diverse ages, backgrounds and life experiences. Intensifying this profound mixture of masculine/feminine energy was the most powerful source of all – nature.
Feeling my body glide into the Mediterranean and silky reed filled lake, called forth that Wild Woman. Listening to the cacophony of cicadas, who’s mating song was held in the moist sultry air only heightened the awareness. Sublime ecstasy. Gentle breezes and delicious wind bursts, generated their own wistfulness. I found myself completely swept off my feet. Innocently graced to live each moment in complete presence, no yesterday, no tomorrow, just the vibrancy of now.
As I massaged the intricate aspects together I marveled at the voluptuous experience. Once again I was reminded of the profound Wild Woman Soul. I wish for every woman to tap into this instinctual infinite source; to invite, welcome and rebirth into her true feminine power.
What does this mean? It means you get to live vibrantly alive, sharing and expressing your authentic self. It means you get to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ without apology. It means you get to unabashedly express your desires and passions. It means you get to blossom and reveal as you feel called, free of all expectation, attachment, judgment and labels. It means you dance wild and free….
Over and over again in my life I have found myself saddened by the loss of the Wild Woman. I see it and feel it in the eyes of the women I meet, yet, they hold it back, they force it to stay confined in the cages built by a society intimidated by its powerful force.
Within every woman there lives a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, & ageless knowing. She is the Wild Woman, who represents the instinctual nature of women. But she is an endangered species.
— Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Author of Women Who Run With the Wolves
My second night back in the states, I was jolted awake by my muse, who shared very clearly what is to come next for me. I chuckle, for again, I pick up the torch, called by my soul to invite women to join me in Awakening their Wild Woman. In the past I have had the privilege and honor to work with women in various circles, helping them to remember how magnanomous they truly are. My recent life choices and exploratory adventures bring me back home to my calling and purpose – I am here to hold up a mirror, so you may see the Wild Woman that awaits your permission to fly free.
Her eyes sparkle with joyful trust, her feet skip with abandoned freedom, her voice rises with no apology and her hands reach for the dust that sparkles in glittered suspension. She is free, wild and in ecstatic expression of the bliss which always is…
Her face was lined from years of living. Her eyes twinkled, bursting with memories etched like fireworks on a dark night. Her smile beckoned one to sit and listen. Her legs no longer danced, they lay bent and disfigured on the bed, raw open bed sores seeping at her hips. Her vibrant spirit encircled you the moment you stepped into her space, there was no victim in this room, no woe is me, instead one was greeted with dynamic passion, simple happiness, and a peacefulness that gently kissed you on the cheek.
Who are the “her’s” I speak of? The first is me, dancing in my childhood living room, chasing the sun dust I stirred up with my exuberant joy. The second “her” is a divine woman I was blessed to care for in a nursing home years ago. Her aliveness, grace, peace, and love still dance in my memory. She and others I cared for knew a truth, as did the child in me.
What did they know? They knew that happiness, love, peace and contentment always exist. They knew tranquility and exuberance did not exist in things outside themselves. They knew that it was accessible in all moments. They knew that no one could give it to them, yet they lovingly shared it. They knew it was a choice.
The years and space between innocent curious childhood and the wisdom of one’s latter years is full of “shoulds,” “comparisons,” “judgments,” and the measuring of oneself against a society often textured with fear and distrust. I do not have to sit very long in a cafe before I can hear someone criticizing themselves, or attacking someone else. The stories swirl around like the sound of an espresso machine, surging like the white foam with blame, shame, hurt, victimhood and discontent. It breeds like flies on a patio table, snatching up every scrappy morsel to inject the psyche with why life is so miserable.
Why do humans choose this? A question I have pondered since I was five years old. Why do we let go of our passionate desires to instead fly someone else’s kite? Why do we slam the door on the pure potential of joy? Why do we kick happiness to the curb, to welcome and invite stressful frustration? Why do we say “have to” instead of “get to”? Why do we choose to go through our days and moments on auto-pilot, waiting for someone or something else to make us better? Do we prefer to wait, to lie on our deathbed watching the autobiographical movie of regret? Why do we look in the mirror with such self contempt and hatred, for as young children we loved our reflection? I ask all of this with curiosity and a desire to understand.
In my sophomore year of college I was blessed to work at an international daycare. Here I witnessed children from all over the world. They danced, played, laughed, cried, and enacted make believe stories together. Dynamically they engaged with each moment in present enthusiasm, viewing the world as a frontier to be explored. I sensed that the older children were on the fringe of losing this curious wonderment. In their play I observed them mimicking adults, their eyes became serious, their jaw set tightly, their voices lowered into somberness, like smoke their joy, spontaneity, compassion and kindness disappeared into the passing wind gust, leaving behind a robotic body controlled by the “taught” mind.
Three years after working in a daycare, I found myself working in a nursing home. Here I discovered the grace and vengeance of aging. I was gifted to share time with souls who lived a full passionate life and others who were embittered with regret. The extreme chasm between the two slapped me stingingly as I would leave one room to enter the other. My heart and soul ached for those fighting their own shadow, their anger and inability to forgive expressed through pinches, punches, and verbal abuse as I tried to assist them to the toilet, shower or dining hall. Off the clock, I cherished the moments I got to sit and listen to the stories from those celebrating life. Stories of falling in love, having children, riding in a car for the first time, rising above struggle, appreciating the gentle flow of seasons, years, experiences, and the pure grace of a life lived fully.
In my forties I found myself teaching language arts to junior high students. Here I witnessed the cross over in technicolor poignancy. A few young people desperately clung to their innocent pure belief that anything is possible, that one could reach for their dreams with unbridled passion. The majority of the students had given up, they did not dream, instead they chased visions of their future painted on the wall by parents and society. They swallowed hard the doses of expectations fed to them with the famous mantras, “when I have lots of money I will be happy, when I get my degree I will be happy, when I buy a house I will be happy, when I marry I will be happy, WHEN I… I will then be HAPPY.
Ironically the joke is on us, for much of life is lived between the wild child and the wise elder. Thus I am forever grateful for the life altering gift of witnessing snapshots of age through my diverse professional life. They have graced me with an awareness and microscopic view that life is really just a brief sojourn. A brief interlude to experience as I choose.
Today I watch the sun dust with the pure delight of my four year old wonderment, I dance with unlimited joy, for I am not young, nor old, I am in between, kissing each spec of time with gratitude.
Today I invite you to join me, breathe deeply into the child you once were before life manipulated you.
Today I encourage you to take back the string to your own kite, feel it dance freely upon the winds of raw, wild adventurous, exploration.
Invitations to play:
Dance to your favorite music.
Sing with unbridled enthusiasm.
Daydream upon the page, letting the ink describe what your heart can imagine.
Play the “what if” game – on a piece of paper and/or in your mind play out the potential of following a dream…
Meditate quietly, letting the images and thoughts arise from within.
“Your Soul’s Invitation” is a fictional journey where people around the world awaken to the Daydreamer that lives inside. They are reminded by a chance encounter with a magazine – Click Here to continue on the adventure or begin the quest.
I am curious, when was the last time you allowed yourself to DREAM? To feel, yes, I mean literally FEEL into what brings you joy?
Do you recall a time in your life when you heard someone say, “Get real!” or “Stop dreaming,” or “Would you get serious, that’s not possible,” or???
As a child did you like to daydream? To let your mind and heart wander? To imagine what you might experience, see, do?? Do you still allow yourself this playful exploration? Or did you allow the naysayers, the reality preachers and the nonbelievers to shut you down?
I cannot imagine our world without the Daydreamers, for they are the ones who created and continue to create our tomorrows. They envision what can be and move towards it without question. This takes great courage, faith and perseverance in a world of judges and critics who live from a place of stuck realism.
Let’s really explore this, where would we be today if these Dreamers did not or had not existed –
Marie Sklodowska Curie
Martin Luther King
Alexander Graham Bell
Ada Lovelace (check this one out…)
Leonardo da Vinci
Thankfully this list goes on and on.., for to dream and believe is to live a vibrant, dynamic, passionate life, engaged in what is, while holding tight to the kite of tomorrow’s potential.
It is interesting to imagine our world without those who bring their dreams to life. Those strong enough to “walk their talk” without question or doubt. Along the way they often fall down or fail as we like to label it, yet, they get up and persevere.
Thomas Edison, one of many great inventors, role modeled incredible perseverance and complete belief…
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
If we did all the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.
Often in my daily world I am surrounded by the realist, the one who sees what is, gets stuck there and is not able to imagine what might be. I have learned to not bring them into my intimate friend circle, for they are the first to criticize my dreams, to roll their eyes or shake their heads at my “fantasy world” or “crazy pipe dreams.” These same people enjoy turning on a light switch, utilizing a car to get places, flying in a plane to visit a new corner of the world, use a computer/phone to communicate with friends and family around the world, hmmmm…, I wonder where they think these things came from?
We love the line from Martin Luther King Jr., “I have a dream…” He envisioned a world of equality, as did Nelson Mandela, Gandhi and…
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
There is nothing more tragic than to find an individual bogged down in the length of life, devoid of breadth.
Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.
Martin Luther King Jr.
Live life as though nobody is watching, and express yourself as though everyone is listening.
Everyone can rise above their circumstances and achieve success if they are dedicated to and passionate about what they do.
A winner is a dreamer who never gives up.
I reflect back at how often along my life path I have been told to “get real,” “get my head out of the clouds,” “it’s nice to dream Fawn, but, how can you ever create that…” Most of these people are well intentioned, they want what is “best” for me. I have learned to selectively share my dreams and visions for the future, holding them preciously in my heart, soul and mind’s infinite space. I prefer to keep the company of Dreamers, those who inspire and remind me that anything is possible.
Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious.
Although I am a typical loner in daily life, my consciousness of belonging to the invisible community of those who strive for truth, beauty, and justice has preserved me from feeling isolated.
Like Einstein I am a typical loner in my daily life. While I am factually surrounded by colleagues, customers, friends and family, I wander within my own passionate dream bubble, a space that is energized by the “invisible community.” It is an interesting space to hold. Being completely present while maintaining the vibrational energy of that which I believe is possible. In the wee hours of my quiet morning, weekends, or evening time I step towards my Daydreams. They are becoming. Yes, you cannot see them yet in this time and space, however, they are energetically manifesting. My joyous faith knows and feels them.
As humans we are driven by a desire to feel. To experience the sensation of joy, love, peace, acceptance, contentment, happiness… All we crave we cannot see or touch. Daydreaming fuels within me such expansive joy, love, excitement and eager anticipation while it breathes contentment into my present moments. To no longer dream is to die for me, to live a life of going through the motions, to hit the repeat button eternally.
I tell my children that anything is possible. I encourage them to dream and follow their passions. Sadly the “reality” teachers along their life path have put holes in their Daydreamer kites. The glorious news for them and all of us, is that kites can be mended to fly again.
Thank you Daydreamers for always being curious, for imagining what can be, for stepping forth in the crowd of naysayers to fly your kite…
If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it.
William Arthur Ward
I am sincerely enjoying the journey with the characters of “Your Soul’s Invitation”, for they are remembering to dream, thanks to an unexpected magazines. Click HERE to read the latest or begin the journey.
If you have been following along with authentic journey of Rita, Ken, Francine and Doug, click HEREto continue or start this adventure.
Over the years I have gradually learned how to hear and feel my spirit or muse as I sometimes refer. Occasionally I do not understand how the image or feeling I experience can possibly come into manifested form. However, I let go with joyful trust, allowing the how, when or where, to present itself. Every time I genuinely let my spirit guide me, miraculous things happen and become.
A Journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.
When I was child my spirit walked with me, hearing me while I roamed the woods, played in trees, observed the flowing river and danced in meadows. Never did I feel alone, instead I felt true to myself, at one with the world around me. At times I would joyously talk out loud to my musing friend, sharing dreams, desired adventures and asking for guidance. Often I would burst with elation, singing at the top of my human lungs to the universe with pure glee. As I held the hand of my internal spirit the world flowed, like a gentle river, an infinite stream…
The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.
As I “grew up” in the world of humans this intrinsic core of my BEing was pushed to the side. I was encouraged to ignore its presence, to shut off the joyful rudder that sang to me of life’s grand journey. I heard from all around me to “be smart,” “don’t be silly,” “you must be rational.” As I accepted this, I began to experience for the first time what loneliness truly felt like. At times this taught way of being shut down my airway, choking the very essence of my wild authentic self to death.
I kept trying to find a way to breathe while conforming to the world around me. I knew everyone was trying to help me. Family, friends, teachers, mentors, they were all doing their best, guiding me towards “success” and a happy life. Yet, the more I entrenched myself into the world of “do, conquer, force, stay on the path of others,” the more I died inside.
As the years passed by, I was coached to compare, judge and measure myself against others, graphs of success, dollars in the bank, possessions in hand and to fear that which I did not know. The more I poured myself into this contrived world, the more intensely I felt lost. I had begun to believe that I was not enough, not worthy and far from perfect.
My lifeline was nature. Here I could breathe. Amongst the trees I felt understood, known. The gentle flow of a river soothed and washed away the debris of society’s discontent. The gentle breeze or violent storm awakened the wild child in me, stirring her very essence into impassioned joyful faith. Screaming into the lightening and thunder, dancing naked in a torrential downpour, natures cleansing always called me home. Her earthly pulse, my beating soul and the universal cosmic orchestra, reminded me I was already enough, I was worthy of anything I could dream and that perfection lay in the arms of individual interpretation.
Thankfully the gag I had put around my spirited muse choked me into sputtering awareness. Tearing it off, my lungs filled to capacity for the first time in years. With the inhale I once again remembered the infinite joy, curious wonder, expansive love and peaceful contentment. Daily I build up this deep breathing muscle, chipping away at the facade and mask I had put on to fit in and please the humans around me.
Today I blissfully coexist with my spirit, my muse, my inner BEing. I let her stir the crockpot of life, intoxicating it with elixirs beyond my mere human imagining. Gracing my moments to be experienced as complete unto themself. Everything aligns and flows with perfection, imbuing my time space reality with joy, love, peace and the glorious sensation of anticipation. I know that life is working out, that as I nurture my spirit, it sprouts grand adventures, life lessons, expansive opportunities and infinite explorations.
What does this mean in common language –
It means I don’t always DO what I am “supposed to do”.
It means that I literally follow the joy or bliss as Joseph Campbell phrased it.
It means I allow myself to just BE, sinking into the quiet, expansive space to listen, feel and allow.
It means I awakened my childhood faith that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE if I believe.
It means that I get to consciously choose to only be around people who joyously “fill up my cup” not “drain it.”
I give myself permission to play everyday with my spirited muse, to imagine, to feel, to embody all that I dream as though it already is.
I enthusiastically let go, surrender with absolute trust, allowing my inner spirit to guide my life, to share the how, when and where…
I ardently fuel the flames of my desires and dreams, stepping forth on the life journey with inspired action.
I choose what I will hear from others, the well meaning naysayers get appreciated without accepting their way as mine.
I am free to choose in ALL my moments how I will feel and react.
Life is a glorious journey! I can share with genuine experience that this human life is magnanimous beyond words when we step forth connected to our inner self/spirit/source – coexisting and co-creating. I just need ten more lifetimes to live and share all the amazing dreams, desires and passions that zoom around my joyful BEing…
I ask you –
What fills you with joy when you think about it?
What dreams and desires did you put on the shelf and forget?
If you were lying on your death bed, what un-lived dreams would stand around your bed, the ghosts of personal regrets?
How old were you when you stopped believing you could do or be anything?
When did you start comparing yourself to everyone else?
Are you truly happy? If not, why??? And if you had that, did that, would you now be happy? Or???
If you have been following along with a magazine that reminds you how amazing you are, then click HERE to read more or read it all…
If I asked you are you happy? How would you respond?
Nike has their powerful slogan “Just Do It” which is recognized around the globe. Did you know that the slogan was inspired by the last words of a double murderer? I didn’t know that either until I researched. These articles from “Business Insider” and “The Washington Post,” share the brief story behind the famous slogan.
Why in the world am I talking about the Nike slogan? Well, for a few years now I have been chanting my own slogan. One that guides my existence, presence and choices. It is as simple as Nike’s 3 little words, except mine is shorter, 2 words, with the potential to have one more word if you want to get personal.
Tantum Exsisto – Just BE
Tantum Exsisto Vous – Just BE YOU
End of story. Simple. Pure. Authentic. Vast. Endless. Infinite. All YOU ever have to “DO” is BE. BE YOU, from the internal space that is FREE from the human propensity to judge, critique, limit and deny.
If you have followed me for awhile you have read many blogs/vlogs that share my dream for every human to awaken their true BEingness. To breathe deeply into the inner sanctum of Exsisto, to feel and experience the all-embracing euphoria of BEing.
Ironically, I am Nike’s paradoxical slogan. However, I am not against “DOing,” I just wish for all to feel the difference between “Doing” and “Inspired Action.” DO is repeatedly attached to the sensation of “must.” Behaving from a reactionary space that is dictated by what others expect, mostly driven by societal/cultural “should dos.” BE comes from a desire, it bubbles up from the heart and soul, a craving to create, share, interact, express…
Tantum Exsisto utilizes the latin words “Just” and “BE” independent and yet transformative together. Why do we complicate? Why do we feel “UnWorthy,”, “Not Enough,” “Imperfect”??? What if we released all comparison charts, expectation grids, judgmental graphs and chose to celebrate “What Is,” allowing ourselves to blossom in our “BEingness”?
Look around your part of the world, what do you see and experience? Are people choosing their life, or reacting to their life? Are you living a life of choice? Or a life of DOing, because you are supposed to?
I experience a world full of “Doing” a “Reactionary” world that is presently spinning out of control. Have you ever noticed how beautiful the world slows down when you sleep? Sleep is one way of BEing that is accepted and encouraged. The bodies way to regenerate, recharge, just BE. Yet, today many people struggle to sleep, too caught up in their reactionary energy.
Every religious and spiritual “practice/teaching” has a root lesson in “BEing.” They invite us to reconnect, to remember, to awaken, to choose this space from which all things rise, all things exist, all is…. Oh it is phrased in many different ways, espoused in diverse practices – yet, in the unraveling and simplifying we come to – Just BE, Tantum Exsisto.
Try this – Download this Worksheet to explore if you are Reacting to your life or Choosing your life. Use it to notice, not judge – remember, YOU are Enough, YOU are Worthy, YOU are Perfect right here, right now. Stop Fixing – Start BEing.
As a BEingness Guide, I am excited to share how transformational coming home to BEing is. Freeing oneself from a worried, stressed Reactionary life, to awaken your state of BEing. If you have read this far and are curious, send me an email – email@example.com to schedule a free 30 minute session.
Today I close by asking –
Are you happy?
Is joy a sensation you often feel?
Are you stuck in a Reactionary Existence?
Is life full of delightful potential?
What would it feel like if you experienced yourself as Worthy, Enough, Perfect?
Settle down, stay put, be consistent, remain in the same job, climb the ladder of achievement, acquire property and things… Ugh!! I have sincerely tried, truly I have. Yet, to do so seems to kill a part of me, to shut off my passion, play and joyful exploration of life’s copiousness.
I recently sat down with myself to sincerely look at my life journey. Putting pen to page, I listed the different jobs I have engaged in since I branched out from babysitting at 16 years old – 38 jobs, yep, 38 different places with their own unique culture. I then reflected on my 28 year Bachelors degree expedition, hmmm… 4 universities, 3 states and over 245 credits in diverse fields of study – English, Business, Communications, Art, Linguistics, Teaching, Travel Tourismm, Health, Exercise Phys…. Then last but not least, I pondered my relationship quest, there too I have been blessed with great diversity.
Embarrassment and shame have clung to me like a shadow that shows up in the dark. Haunting my heart and soul with criticism for my inability to settle down, stay in the same job and pursue life with focused intention to acquire and succeed by the societal and cultural norms and expectations I have been raised in.
Try as I might over the course of my life, I seem unable to do this. I am driven to learn, to experience, to delight in exploring life through the lens of a new place, people, environment and way of living. Every job has had its own lingo, flow and community. Each field of study expands the horizons of interconnected knowledge. Diverse relationships – intimate, friendship, colleague, employer/employee enhance my understanding of the world at large, for every individual has their own story.
The recent sojourn to work on a polycultural farm on San Juan Island powerfully helped me to discover and decipher more clearly what I do and don’t want in my life. As I find myself back in Boise, Idaho, I chuckle at how I hesitate to share this change. Feeling again that old sensation of shame, guilt and failure. In the quietness, I am given the opportunity to really see and feel into why I experience such self-judgment. From a very young age I felt bad for being someone who enjoyed change, who liked to try new things, explore different places and ways of living, finding it exciting and challenging to adapt and gain a new perspective. How can we truly know anything unless we try and change the place from which we view and experience?
I’m a dreamer. A passionate pioneer who thrives in climbing the next hill to take in the new view. Inquisitive, curious, playful and open to what I can learn, experience, see, feel, touch and hear. I grow to accept this truth, giving myself passionate permission to “go for it”, celebrating my soulful wanderlust! Like a wild animal, I do not thrive in the pens of societal and cultural expectations. I fervidly love being a pilgrim in life’s grand adventure!
It has been a long time coming and is way overdue – I Accept and give Permission to my wild soul to dance and engage in life as I am called. I Celebrate the exquisite opportunity to be curious, play, explore and seize the moments I’m graced to breathe… I find myself very excited to see what comes next with no shameful apology! Carpe Diem!!
I conclude with some of my favorite quotes by Thoreau, for they have inspired and comforted me in those moments of judgment –
“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.”
“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”
“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”
“All good things are wild and free.”
“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.”
I have been quiet for a few days now, exploring the nagging feelings about this blog, my Vlog site (The Beingness Project) and my Youtube channel. It is imperative to me that I am congruent with my inner self. That I Walk my Naked Truth in all ways; coming to this page with pure intention, presence and free of all agenda.
Why do I come to the page, first because writing is a part of who I am. The pen at the end of my hand and the flow of ink onto the page has been a part of me like the inhale and exhale of life. It gives me immense joy and infinite expansiveness to move into the flow of words.
I come to the page secondly, because I wish for all people to feel the awe, joy and love of BEING. To dance within the luscious space of fluid contentment, infinite peace and sensual joy. It is a space we intuitively know as a child. We eagerly explore, look with curious delight and express with abandoned wonderment. As the open child we feel everything that comes up, we let it flow, express, BE. Then this raw naked expression is squelched, judged and criticized. Taught to be controlled, denied and ignored.
I recently perused some of my first blog entries from four years ago (read here), smiling in gratitude at the pictures of my children who were still shorter than I. What a marvelous journey we have shared, what glorious rich lessons life has graced us with. WOW! Life is a very dynamic colorful tapestry.
Today, most people have stopped reading this by now, for it is too long, takes too much time, interrupts the “To Do List” and does not “FIX” things. I sit still within my quiet fishbowl, looking out at the chaotic world around me. Everyone is DOING, going forth to conquer their life. Suppressing and denying themselves the grandest gift of all, to BE present. To truly EXPERIENCE the inexhaustible sensations and nuances of a vibrant engaged life.
So, why do I write? Why this blog? Why “The Beingness Project”? They are all an invitation to YOU, to come home to your Naked Truth, To BE. You do not need to Fix Yourself, for You are already Enough, Worthy and Perfect. All you have to do is remember how to BE present in ALL your moments. Then life begins to blossom in magnanomous grace.
This blog “Walking Naked Truth”, “The Beingness Project Vlog” and “Youtube channel“ exist to help you awaken and remember your joyful, vibrant, loving self. Each of us lost this natural state in our Domestication process, replacing genuine curiosity with judgmental distrust. Losing our sense of playfulness to proper ways of expression based on our societal, cultural and family Expectations.
My recent struggle has been to stay TRUE to me. To BE Authentic and Congruent with my values, ethics and desires. There are many people I respect, admire and look to for inspiration, teaching, lessons, etc… However at this time in our world, what I experience is an excruciating bombardment of sh** in my email in box, my Facebook page and Instagram site. The introvert in me wants to UNPLUG it all, run away and hide. At the same time I love that I get to learn from those I admire with the ease of a Google search. So.., what is the balance?
Everyone I have thus far turned to for learning how to make a living from my expertise says I must:
post frequently (I like this one)
send consistent emails to my followers
push myself on social media so I gain more followers
push, push, push through this format or another!!
focus on using certain SEO words/triggers to be found
While I understand the need for such action (I did study business in college) and can see how it works (funnels, channel, spread), I cannot do it and feel good. My sharing is about BEing. My message is to BE. To re-discover that space within you that is already happy, peaceful, loving and excited about life. To help you remember how amazing you are just by BEing YOU. To reunite you with that infinite space of acceptance, grace and love.
After four days of deep inner exploration I have found my peaceful truth. I cannot bombard your email box, I will not nag you with ads. I AM HERE if you desire to journey with me. My gift to the world has always been to BE the safe loving place. Thus this page must reflect the essence of BEing, offering tools to help you on that journey back home to your inner magnificence.
I shall offer meditations, videos, worksheets and written exploration. You are free to Follow me or check in as you desire. Your free will gets to decide if you will engage to peel back the layers of your masks to joyfully reacquaint yourself with your natural state of BEingness.
It is my dream that all who seek shall come home to the unlimited jubilance of a life immersed in BEING. Absorbing its expansive loving peaceful contentment. It is a space that once fully remembered always beckons you back into its free flow.
This blog and the other stuff I share is a delightful exploration of Surrender. To let go and trust that if it is meant to serve, it shall grow and become thanks to those who hear its message and resonate with its truth. A test to see if people are so numbed that they cannot notice or take action to spread a way of BEing. I am blessed to come to the page free of all Expectations, to share from a pure state of BEing, for only then will you experience how life is happening for you, inviting you to remember the joy of laughter, the fun of dancing, the inspiration of music, the love of self and others…
I thank you for joining me. I thank you for Being YOU. I thank you for all the ways you grace the world with your unique magnificence. I thank you for sharing.
In Joyful Humble Gratitude,
Life Artist and Dancer
Why waste time exploring Expectations? Who cares? What does it matter?
I daily observe and witness the backlash of Expectations. Some are subtle, while others compound and intensify into something quite frustrating. As humans we tend to carry around the idea that people “get it”, of course they know what we want and how we want it, right!? Doesn’t everyone do it that way, want it that way? The truth – NO!!
We are all unique, raised in different homes, impacted by our own special families, brought up in a culture and way of thinking and believing that is exclusively our own. Therefore our Domesticated Expectations are individualistic in addition to those that we have chosen personally for our way of being.
Notice today as you walk around, how does someone in your office prefer their desk? Is it neat or cluttered? How do you drink your coffee versus your friend? Do you make your bed, but your partner never makes the bed? Are you one of those people that has the personal Expectation to work out everyday? Do you Expect people to open the door for you? Etc..??
Tomorrow we will dig into our assumptions around Expectations – the powerful boomerang effect that can have some really negative impacts. To prepare for that, think about how you do or do not communicate your Expectations. Do you Expect your family to know what you want, how and when? Do you Expect your partner to know certain things that you have never communicated? At work, do you assume that your boss and colleagues know how you feel and what you like/want?