When you read those words, what comes to mind? What do you feel? Do they stir any hidden desires? Are they words only for others? Do they pique your curiosity and passion?
Some of the words are rarely spoken any more, yet they are the fabric of our existence. Without the desire to explore, journey, quest, and…, life would become stagnate. It seems that often people see these words as action oriented, such as someone who goes on a quest to explore some unknown place. What I love about these words is that they can be experienced from anywhere, at anytime, if we choose.
I can sit quietly looking out my window with a curious mind and adventure with the squirrel who is busily dancing on the tree.
I can take a walk with my eyes and heart open to the journey, noticing with admiration the flowers I pass, the homes full of people with their own interesting stories, the busy insects on the sidewalk, the birds who easily move from branch to branch – how does it all interact, who are the people behind the closed door, what is the connection we all share???
I can read a book that encourages me to sojourn within, journey into my memories, hopes and dreams. Like a buried treasure I uncover aspects of the self and the world around me.
I can take a trip to a new place, where all moments are about exploration, wandering in the midst of newness, a pilgrim on an adventure to learn and experience.
I can write, paint, dance, create.., all doorways into an odyssey with my muse.
Sitting quietly with my journal, the inner quest to understand my deeper self guides me down untrodden paths.
I can meet someone new to whom I wish to learn more about, in our time together I get to pilgrimage through another’s life experience, hearing, seeing, open to different perspectives and possibilities.
Wanderlust, can be satiated through learning something new, like a language, recipe, new hiking trail, etc…. Or maybe you appeal its call through changing jobs, moving to a new home, reading a new genre book… Or if you are like me, you embrace your wanderlust through a variety of tactics depending on your present life situation.
Personally I love that my wanderlust, curious desire to explore and adventure has never died. I am grateful that my soul exposed me to the truth that one can follow these callings through a myriad of ways.
I write this at a time when I sit on the precipice of a new odyssey. I am prepping my wings for flight, where, when, how…, well that is still formulating. Since life is a glorious journey, not a destination, much of the fun is letting anticipation build, allowing mysterious expectancy to percolate, and then Ta-Da the call to take inspired action takes over. I’ll keep you posted, for much is brewing…..
My wish for you is that your childlike curiosity leads you on adventures, calls you to new quests and opens your heart, soul and mind to the joys of exploration….
Her eyes sparkle with joyful trust, her feet skip with abandoned freedom, her voice rises with no apology and her hands reach for the dust that sparkles in glittered suspension. She is free, wild and in ecstatic expression of the bliss which always is…
Her face was lined from years of living. Her eyes twinkled, bursting with memories etched like fireworks on a dark night. Her smile beckoned one to sit and listen. Her legs no longer danced, they lay bent and disfigured on the bed, raw open bed sores seeping at her hips. Her vibrant spirit encircled you the moment you stepped into her space, there was no victim in this room, no woe is me, instead one was greeted with dynamic passion, simple happiness, and a peacefulness that gently kissed you on the cheek.
Who are the “her’s” I speak of? The first is me, dancing in my childhood living room, chasing the sun dust I stirred up with my exuberant joy. The second “her” is a divine woman I was blessed to care for in a nursing home years ago. Her aliveness, grace, peace, and love still dance in my memory. She and others I cared for knew a truth, as did the child in me.
What did they know? They knew that happiness, love, peace and contentment always exist. They knew tranquility and exuberance did not exist in things outside themselves. They knew that it was accessible in all moments. They knew that no one could give it to them, yet they lovingly shared it. They knew it was a choice.
The years and space between innocent curious childhood and the wisdom of one’s latter years is full of “shoulds,” “comparisons,” “judgments,” and the measuring of oneself against a society often textured with fear and distrust. I do not have to sit very long in a cafe before I can hear someone criticizing themselves, or attacking someone else. The stories swirl around like the sound of an espresso machine, surging like the white foam with blame, shame, hurt, victimhood and discontent. It breeds like flies on a patio table, snatching up every scrappy morsel to inject the psyche with why life is so miserable.
Why do humans choose this? A question I have pondered since I was five years old. Why do we let go of our passionate desires to instead fly someone else’s kite? Why do we slam the door on the pure potential of joy? Why do we kick happiness to the curb, to welcome and invite stressful frustration? Why do we say “have to” instead of “get to”? Why do we choose to go through our days and moments on auto-pilot, waiting for someone or something else to make us better? Do we prefer to wait, to lie on our deathbed watching the autobiographical movie of regret? Why do we look in the mirror with such self contempt and hatred, for as young children we loved our reflection? I ask all of this with curiosity and a desire to understand.
In my sophomore year of college I was blessed to work at an international daycare. Here I witnessed children from all over the world. They danced, played, laughed, cried, and enacted make believe stories together. Dynamically they engaged with each moment in present enthusiasm, viewing the world as a frontier to be explored. I sensed that the older children were on the fringe of losing this curious wonderment. In their play I observed them mimicking adults, their eyes became serious, their jaw set tightly, their voices lowered into somberness, like smoke their joy, spontaneity, compassion and kindness disappeared into the passing wind gust, leaving behind a robotic body controlled by the “taught” mind.
Three years after working in a daycare, I found myself working in a nursing home. Here I discovered the grace and vengeance of aging. I was gifted to share time with souls who lived a full passionate life and others who were embittered with regret. The extreme chasm between the two slapped me stingingly as I would leave one room to enter the other. My heart and soul ached for those fighting their own shadow, their anger and inability to forgive expressed through pinches, punches, and verbal abuse as I tried to assist them to the toilet, shower or dining hall. Off the clock, I cherished the moments I got to sit and listen to the stories from those celebrating life. Stories of falling in love, having children, riding in a car for the first time, rising above struggle, appreciating the gentle flow of seasons, years, experiences, and the pure grace of a life lived fully.
In my forties I found myself teaching language arts to junior high students. Here I witnessed the cross over in technicolor poignancy. A few young people desperately clung to their innocent pure belief that anything is possible, that one could reach for their dreams with unbridled passion. The majority of the students had given up, they did not dream, instead they chased visions of their future painted on the wall by parents and society. They swallowed hard the doses of expectations fed to them with the famous mantras, “when I have lots of money I will be happy, when I get my degree I will be happy, when I buy a house I will be happy, when I marry I will be happy, WHEN I… I will then be HAPPY.
Ironically the joke is on us, for much of life is lived between the wild child and the wise elder. Thus I am forever grateful for the life altering gift of witnessing snapshots of age through my diverse professional life. They have graced me with an awareness and microscopic view that life is really just a brief sojourn. A brief interlude to experience as I choose.
Today I watch the sun dust with the pure delight of my four year old wonderment, I dance with unlimited joy, for I am not young, nor old, I am in between, kissing each spec of time with gratitude.
Today I invite you to join me, breathe deeply into the child you once were before life manipulated you.
Today I encourage you to take back the string to your own kite, feel it dance freely upon the winds of raw, wild adventurous, exploration.
Invitations to play:
Dance to your favorite music.
Sing with unbridled enthusiasm.
Daydream upon the page, letting the ink describe what your heart can imagine.
Play the “what if” game – on a piece of paper and/or in your mind play out the potential of following a dream…
Meditate quietly, letting the images and thoughts arise from within.
It has been way too long since I shared words upon this page. Sometimes I give in to the calling for a quiet hiatus, pausing to reflect, feel, explore and just BE. Often in this crazy world we forget what Just BEingcan feel like. It seems to be ingrained into our personal psyche that if we are not DOing we must BE failing. I completely disagree!
The chaotic zoom of the world even in these times of COVID, incessantly taps on us like a crow pecking on a scavenged dirty cracker found upon a sidewalk. Over time we have become immune to such bombardment, calloused to the dings upon our “lifeblood” phone, the small inanimate object we take everywhere. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, YouTube, the list continues to expand. I am not against technology, I am actually very grateful for how it has kept my scattered family connected during these isolated times. As a writer at heart, I love coming to the page to dance with my muse, leaving behind the typewriter white out and loud din of pecking on the keys. WhatsApp delights me, for I am free to communicate when I want, for as long as I desire and in whatever format I feel like engaging in – audio, images, video, all of this at my fingertips, literally.
Just BEing, seems to be a forgotten playmate and lost gift. As a child you engaged with it all the time, for it sparked creative ideas, imaginary scenes and pure bliss. As you grew up, you inhaled the taught (domesticated) expectations, accepting without question that there was only one path to happiness. You pushed aside your precious inspiring playmate to engage with the “to do” list, goal chart, success ladder, asset collecting, bank account and programed paradigms of societal expectations. Now, please understand, I am not against any of the above listed things, matter a fact, I engage in all of them. I ask them to align with me, my dreams, my passions, my priorities and personal desires. It allows me to design my unique empowered path.
During my recent hiatus from this page and my other blog The BEingness Project, I explored more deeply the authentic truth
“And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.”
As I deeply feel into what I desire for the next phase of life, I give myself permission to squish around the sensations of each idea. As though I am an explorer investigating the textures, smells, sounds and ambiance of a puffy white cloud. Suspended above my purposed next adventure, I take it all in – why, where, who, what… It has been my life experience that we jump like a frog to the next lily pad hoping that it will “fix” our problems, change our situation, or answer our unspoken and unidentified hearts’ desire. While the leaping in and of itself is intoxicating and thrilling, it does not change the reality that wherever you go, there you are. As I play with the soft red clay that forms my life, I give myself the time to unearth the richness or deprivation of each scenario. Does it lift my wings or is it another distraction, an escape route that ultimately leads back to the same dead end cul de sac?
Oh I am poised to jump! All my muscles are taut and ready for my invitation. Delightfully wisdom has started to blossom in full glory, encouraging me to BE, to FEEL, to allow myself the TIME to witness the possibilities as they play out within my heart and soul. What calls me, pulls me towards my song, my story, my sharing…? Cutting away at the puppet strings attached without my knowing, I float in the free fall, trusting the parachute of my own inner GPS guidance. What an exciting time, to stand at the edge of a new horizon, vast, limitless, infinite and grand… The only limitation is that which I put upon myself. Lifting my wings, responding to my poised muscles and heart strings, I set sail. There is no RIGHT or WRONG path, only the knowing that I choose to live a life of no regret. As the astute saying shares, there is no Uhaul that follows us when we pass from this life, thus I wish to fill the coffers of my time here with vapor held experiences, rich colors painted upon my heart, breath stopping memories of love and grace, and laughter that carries me home…
Thank you for joining me today, I forgot how much fun it is to BE with you 🙏🏻💖. It is my absolute life passion that each and every one of us remembers how to BE, how to hear and feel our heart/soul call. Rising into a life of passion, dreams and desires. When we walk naked on this path of personal truth, we touch and lift all who connect with us along the way!
If you enjoyed this little blog, here are a couple of old posts that invite BEingness into your life ❤️