enthusiasm – Simply Fawn

Her eyes sparkle with joyful trust, her feet skip with abandoned freedom, her voice rises with no apology and her hands reach for the dust that sparkles in glittered suspension. She is free, wild and in ecstatic expression of the bliss which always is…

*The inner self does not age, it flows pure in all moments, dancing in twinkling curiosity infinitely…*

Her face was lined from years of living. Her eyes twinkled, bursting with memories etched like fireworks on a dark night. Her smile beckoned one to sit and listen. Her legs no longer danced, they lay bent and disfigured on the bed, raw open bed sores seeping at her hips. Her vibrant spirit encircled you the moment you stepped into her space, there was no victim in this room, no woe is me, instead one was greeted with dynamic passion, simple happiness, and a peacefulness that gently kissed you on the cheek.

Who are the “her’s” I speak of? The first is me, dancing in my childhood living room, chasing the sun dust I stirred up with my exuberant joy. The second “her” is a divine woman I was blessed to care for in a nursing home years ago. Her aliveness, grace, peace, and love still dance in my memory. She and others I cared for knew a truth, as did the child in me.

What did they know? They knew that happiness, love, peace and contentment always exist. They knew tranquility and exuberance did not exist in things outside themselves. They knew that it was accessible in all moments. They knew that no one could give it to them, yet they lovingly shared it. They knew it was a choice.

*Clasping that which is, in desperation, chokes the potential of what can be, before it takes its first breath…*

The years and space between innocent curious childhood and the wisdom of one’s latter years is full of “shoulds,” “comparisons,” “judgments,” and the measuring of oneself against a society often textured with fear and distrust. I do not have to sit very long in a cafe before I can hear someone criticizing themselves, or attacking someone else. The stories swirl around like the sound of an espresso machine, surging like the white foam with blame, shame, hurt, victimhood and discontent. It breeds like flies on a patio table, snatching up every scrappy morsel to inject the psyche with why life is so miserable.

Why do humans choose this? A question I have pondered since I was five years old. Why do we let go of our passionate desires to instead fly someone else’s kite? Why do we slam the door on the pure potential of joy? Why do we kick happiness to the curb, to welcome and invite stressful frustration? Why do we say “have to” instead of “get to”? Why do we choose to go through our days and moments on auto-pilot, waiting for someone or something else to make us better? Do we prefer to wait, to lie on our deathbed watching the autobiographical movie of regret? Why do we look in the mirror with such self contempt and hatred, for as young children we loved our reflection? I ask all of this with curiosity and a desire to understand.

*A body twitches with delightful anticipation when a matchstick of wonder is lit beneath…*

In my sophomore year of college I was blessed to work at an international daycare. Here I witnessed children from all over the world. They danced, played, laughed, cried, and enacted make believe stories together. Dynamically they engaged with each moment in present enthusiasm, viewing the world as a frontier to be explored. I sensed that the older children were on the fringe of losing this curious wonderment. In their play I observed them mimicking adults, their eyes became serious, their jaw set tightly, their voices lowered into somberness, like smoke their joy, spontaneity, compassion and kindness disappeared into the passing wind gust, leaving behind a robotic body controlled by the “taught” mind.

Three years after working in a daycare, I found myself working in a nursing home. Here I discovered the grace and vengeance of aging. I was gifted to share time with souls who lived a full passionate life and others who were embittered with regret. The extreme chasm between the two slapped me stingingly as I would leave one room to enter the other. My heart and soul ached for those fighting their own shadow, their anger and inability to forgive expressed through pinches, punches, and verbal abuse as I tried to assist them to the toilet, shower or dining hall. Off the clock, I cherished the moments I got to sit and listen to the stories from those celebrating life. Stories of falling in love, having children, riding in a car for the first time, rising above struggle, appreciating the gentle flow of seasons, years, experiences, and the pure grace of a life lived fully.

In my forties I found myself teaching language arts to junior high students. Here I witnessed the cross over in technicolor poignancy. A few young people desperately clung to their innocent pure belief that anything is possible, that one could reach for their dreams with unbridled passion. The majority of the students had given up, they did not dream, instead they chased visions of their future painted on the wall by parents and society. They swallowed hard the doses of expectations fed to them with the famous mantras, “when I have lots of money I will be happy, when I get my degree I will be happy, when I buy a house I will be happy, when I marry I will be happy, WHEN I… I will then be HAPPY.

Ironically the joke is on us, for much of life is lived between the wild child and the wise elder. Thus I am forever grateful for the life altering gift of witnessing snapshots of age through my diverse professional life. They have graced me with an awareness and microscopic view that life is really just a brief sojourn. A brief interlude to experience as I choose.

Today I watch the sun dust with the pure delight of my four year old wonderment, I dance with unlimited joy, for I am not young, nor old, I am in between, kissing each spec of time with gratitude.

Today I invite you to join me, breathe deeply into the child you once were before life manipulated you.

Today I encourage you to take back the string to your own kite, feel it dance freely upon the winds of raw, wild adventurous, exploration.

*When did you forget that life is an invitation..???*

Invitations to play:

Dance to your favorite music.
Sing with unbridled enthusiasm.
Daydream upon the page, letting the ink describe what your heart can imagine.
Play the “what if” game – on a piece of paper and/or in your mind play out the potential of following a dream…
Meditate quietly, letting the images and thoughts arise from within.
Color, paint, create, letting yourself express freely.
Close your eyes to feel into and remember the child within, what did you love, enjoy, imagine…
Invite your inner child to play, then get ready for some fun, as you embrace the wonder and curiosity.

I’m curious, do you prefer to hang around the serious, somber, practical person or find great joy in spending time around someone who is passionate, vibrant, dynamic and happily living life?
Your soul’s invitation…

Which one are you?

If you have been following along with authentic journey of Rita, Ken, Francine and Doug, click HERE to continue or start this adventure.

*Stepping into the unknown can feel exciting or fearful, which do you choose..? And who taught you to feel this way..?*

Over the years I have gradually learned how to hear and feel my spirit or muse as I sometimes refer. Occasionally I do not understand how the image or feeling I experience can possibly come into manifested form. However, I let go with joyful trust, allowing the how, when or where, to present itself. Every time I genuinely let my spirit guide me, miraculous things happen and become.

A Journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.
Lao Tzu

When I was child my spirit walked with me, hearing me while I roamed the woods, played in trees, observed the flowing river and danced in meadows. Never did I feel alone, instead I felt true to myself, at one with the world around me. At times I would joyously talk out loud to my musing friend, sharing dreams, desired adventures and asking for guidance. Often I would burst with elation, singing at the top of my human lungs to the universe with pure glee. As I held the hand of my internal spirit the world flowed, like a gentle river, an infinite stream…

The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.
Anthony Robbins

*Have you ever truly pondered where does it all begin, end..? Who am I within this expanding universe..? How do I spend my precious moments..?*

As I “grew up” in the world of humans this intrinsic core of my BEing was pushed to the side. I was encouraged to ignore its presence, to shut off the joyful rudder that sang to me of life’s grand journey. I heard from all around me to “be smart,” “don’t be silly,” “you must be rational.” As I accepted this, I began to experience for the first time what loneliness truly felt like. At times this taught way of being shut down my airway, choking the very essence of my wild authentic self to death.

I kept trying to find a way to breathe while conforming to the world around me. I knew everyone was trying to help me. Family, friends, teachers, mentors, they were all doing their best, guiding me towards “success” and a happy life. Yet, the more I entrenched myself into the world of “do, conquer, force, stay on the path of others,” the more I died inside.

As the years passed by, I was coached to compare, judge and measure myself against others, graphs of success, dollars in the bank, possessions in hand and to fear that which I did not know. The more I poured myself into this contrived world, the more intensely I felt lost. I had begun to believe that I was not enough, not worthy and far from perfect.

*When did you allow others to fill your crystal ball..? When did you suffocate and extinguish your spirited dreams and passions..?*

My lifeline was nature. Here I could breathe. Amongst the trees I felt understood, known. The gentle flow of a river soothed and washed away the debris of society’s discontent. The gentle breeze or violent storm awakened the wild child in me, stirring her very essence into impassioned joyful faith. Screaming into the lightening and thunder, dancing naked in a torrential downpour, natures cleansing always called me home. Her earthly pulse, my beating soul and the universal cosmic orchestra, reminded me I was already enough, I was worthy of anything I could dream and that perfection lay in the arms of individual interpretation.

Thankfully the gag I had put around my spirited muse choked me into sputtering awareness. Tearing it off, my lungs filled to capacity for the first time in years. With the inhale I once again remembered the infinite joy, curious wonder, expansive love and peaceful contentment. Daily I build up this deep breathing muscle, chipping away at the facade and mask I had put on to fit in and please the humans around me.

*Who might you become if you danced wild and free with your inner spirit..? What might unfold if you trusted your soul’s calling..?*

Today I blissfully coexist with my spirit, my muse, my inner BEing. I let her stir the crockpot of life, intoxicating it with elixirs beyond my mere human imagining. Gracing my moments to be experienced as complete unto themself. Everything aligns and flows with perfection, imbuing my time space reality with joy, love, peace and the glorious sensation of anticipation. I know that life is working out, that as I nurture my spirit, it sprouts grand adventures, life lessons, expansive opportunities and infinite explorations.

What does this mean in common language –

It means I don’t always DO what I am “supposed to do”.
It means that I literally follow the joy or bliss as Joseph Campbell phrased it.
It means I allow myself to just BE, sinking into the quiet, expansive space to listen, feel and allow.
It means I awakened my childhood faith that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE if I believe.
It means that I get to consciously choose to only be around people who joyously “fill up my cup” not “drain it.”
I give myself permission to play everyday with my spirited muse, to imagine, to feel, to embody all that I dream as though it already is.
I enthusiastically let go, surrender with absolute trust, allowing my inner spirit to guide my life, to share the how, when and where…
I ardently fuel the flames of my desires and dreams, stepping forth on the life journey with inspired action.
I choose what I will hear from others, the well meaning naysayers get appreciated without accepting their way as mine.
I am free to choose in ALL my moments how I will feel and react.

*Freedom does not come attached to a flag, government or institution. It lies within, always there, it breathes, it pulses, it vibrates eternally…*

Life is a glorious journey! I can share with genuine experience that this human life is magnanimous beyond words when we step forth connected to our inner self/spirit/source – coexisting and co-creating. I just need ten more lifetimes to live and share all the amazing dreams, desires and passions that zoom around my joyful BEing…

I ask you –

What fills you with joy when you think about it?
What dreams and desires did you put on the shelf and forget?
If you were lying on your death bed, what un-lived dreams would stand around your bed, the ghosts of personal regrets?
How old were you when you stopped believing you could do or be anything?
When did you start comparing yourself to everyone else?
Are you truly happy? If not, why??? And if you had that, did that, would you now be happy? Or???

*The only limitation we encounter is self-prescribed…*

If you have been following along with a magazine that reminds you how amazing you are, then click HERE to read more or read it all…

	fawncaveney on Touching YOU…
	Tyson Holt on Touching YOU…
	simplywendi on I Am A Wild Woman
	fawncaveney on I Am A Wild Woman
	simplywendi on I Am A Wild Woman

Simply Fawn

Tag: enthusiasm