Today I choose to share a bit differently, allowing my Muse to expose itself more freely and vulnerably. I thank you for joining me, taking the time to read my heartfelt expression upon the page. I welcome the opportunity to connect, please comment or share your thoughts….
I will never forget the day I asked all my junior high students the question, “Who wrote the definition for perfect?” They looked at me with furrowed brow or comical smiles, for they were used to my zany questions. Of course no one had an answer to this strange inquiry. According to Wikipedia, the word perfection goes back to Aristotle –
The oldest definition of “perfection”, fairly precise and distinguishing the shades of the concept, goes back to Aristotle. In Book Delta of the Metaphysics, he distinguishes three meanings of the term, or rather three shades of one meaning, but in any case three different concepts.
That is perfect:
1. which is complete — which contains all the requisite parts
2. which is so good that nothing of the kind could be better
3. which has attained its purpose.
Following this introductory question I continued with “When did you decide to play along with this definition, using it to judge yourself and others?” Oh boy.., this sparked conversation and exploration. We dug into the power of the media, society, culture and how we allow ourselves to be sucked into the world of “perfection” as advertised.
Following this intensely beautiful conversation I shared a couple of videos which jolted us even more…
As a teacher who is also a mother, daughter, sister, granddaughter, etc.., I shared my own raw authentic ownership for the times I played along, got sucked in and passed on my own “image issues.” As a class we delved into the feelings stirred by the videos, my admittance and their own vulnerable sharing. Finding ourselves empowered with the newfound knowledge that everyone struggles at times with this societally and culturally driven game. This is not a gender or age specific issue. It infiltrates from all directions towards all populations.
As I shared yesterday I just returned from a trip that took me to Turkey for a couple of weeks. It was wonderful to enjoy the beauty of another culture, observing as best I could the nuances with image. Of course to really understand, one would have to stay and really submerge within the local society to get a feel for how they judge, label and categorize.
I reflect upon my growing up years before cell phones, selfies and social media, whew, I had it easy! However, I felt the labels, the judgments and the harmful internal self criticism that flowed when I accepted what was portrayed as “perfect.” I hurt for those that received the harmful teasing by peers who were cruel with their words and actions. Everyone seemed to accept the latest “in” look or “perfection” label. While I struggled at times with this marketing/media driven bombardment, I would eventually swing the pendulum back to honor my Wild Woman.
I chuckle at how easily we stray into the next “in phase”, tweezing or bolstering the eyebrows, high waisted or low waisted pants, high heels or no heels, curly or straight hair, makeup??? Oh my!! What would happen to all the clothing, makeup and lifestyle companies if we stopped playing along? That question is definitely for another blog entry!
As I reach out into the world for other Wild Women, I feel again the powerful energy of those hundred students (male and female) who opened their souls to a room full of peers. An experience that gave us all the opportunity to feel and see through diverse lenses. For some they became aware and empowered for the first time with the clarity that everyone journeys in their own personal way through the haze of society’s dictated “perfection.”
Ever since I stuck up for a classmate in fifth grade (many moons ago) it has been a dream of mine for all people to feel from within how absolutely spectacular they are. Releasing the chains of self-criticism based on a contrived definition of “Perfect,” “Enough,” and “Worthy.” Of course as a woman I have a soft spot and knowing for the female journey, however, my male clients shared the sad truth that we all can fall prey to such torment.
As a woman who has worn all the hats, I know how we put ourselves last!
- I will take that class when the kids are not so busy.
- I don’t have the money to do that now, the kids need this, the house, the family…
- Someday I will read that book, join that club, get regular massages, etc…
- It would be selfish to spend such time on myself.
- I really want to connect with other amazing women, but my family needs me, my job, the to-do list.
One of the most powerful things I have learned along the way is that when we do not take care of ourselves and fill up our own cups, there is nothing left to give or share with others. Upon becoming a mother I lost this balance for awhile, until one day I realized that my children learned a lot through watching the people around them – “What was I role modeling to my son and daughter?” Is that how I wanted them to care for themselves, see themselves, value themselves??? This was and is a huge driving force for me. “Do as I say, not as I do,” is not how I wish to role model or engage with this amazing life.
To awaken our Wild Woman – Wild Man is to come home to our inner stirrings, our truth, our vibrant, passionate desires with how we wish to experience and BE in the world around us. This is a very individualistic personal journey. I can’t imagine living this miraculous life any other way!! Here is to YOU in all your magnanomous Wild BEingness!
If you are interested in living a life of BEing – Coming home to a Life of Choice, check out
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Friday morning I became a statistic.
It is strange, for we become a statistic when we are born, arriving in this chaotic expanding world. We also get counted when we depart this world, leaving behind this physical existence. Along the way we get enumerated and categorized in so many ways. Gender, age, income, nationality, education, profession, sexuality, religion/spirituality, etc…
The latest circumstance that added me to a growing list was not by choice, however, I knew it was only a matter of time. In a world that presently observes the growing number of COVID cases, I recognized that between my job, which exposes me to people everyday, living in an apartment and co-existing in a busy society, it was likely I would catch the virus.
Yes, this girl tested positive to COVID-19. Thus far, I feel very fortunate that my body is rallying well with the symptoms. The biggest one being no smell or taste, which is very strange. My experience has really helped me to understand more clearly how easy it is for people to have it and not know. My symptoms are subtle, I have definitely experienced worse colds. It seems to strike everyone very uniquely, attacking and targeting a person’s weak spots.
When the journey with COVID-19 began, I found myself really wondering why we did not focus as intently on helping people to know how to build up their immune systems. All the fixation seemed to be on finding a vaccine. What about the one thing we can all do NOW, boost our immune systems. Why are we not empowering people to know how to navigate the possible symptoms, sharing things that encourage the body to journey through the virus with as much ease as possible.
As always I feel like our Western Medicine world is concentrated on treating the syndrome event, not the root issue – a weak immune system. As a health freak and certified Health Coach, the body and its miraculous ability has fascinated me since I was fifteen. Our bodies are incredible! When we invest wisely in nurturing this miraculous system, the results can even shock doctors; doctors who rarely receive any nutritional training during their schooling/residencies.
This week I found myself feeling shame as I lined up with many others to get tested. Why did I feel this way for something I did not consciously choose or want? As I looked around the line, there were all ages and walks of life. We sat there in the chilly morning for over an hour, knowing we had to be there early to be lucky enough to make the cut for testing.
I thought about people who physically struggle to get around, how were they supposed to get there and wait? What about the people who can’t get off work to get tested? I myself had challenges to get there. I had tried the day before, only to be 47th in line, missing my chance by seven people. After all these months have we made it easier for people to get tested? Do we support and encourage people to find out? I know I sure did not want to be there and if I did not care about spreading it to others, I would not have gone.
I have family that live in other countries, so it has been interesting for me to hear about their COVID processes. For my brother and his family in UAE, a team came to every home to test them. While my sister in Turkey had to be tested prior to students coming back to the school where she works. Every place pursues their own way of doing it, hoping to minimize the effects and impact.
As I stay tucked away in my little world, I look out the window and wonder, how many people that walk by have it and don’t know? If at 55 my symptoms are so mellow, the younger healthy generation is likely to experience almost nothing. Nine months ago when this really hit my part of the world, I asked then –
- Why are we not focusing how to boost the immune system?
- Why are we not empowering people with things they can do to keep themselves healthy and strong?
- Isn’t it possible to come at this virus from two directions – immune boosting and vaccine?
It is my life experience that when we give others information that helps them to take charge of their own circumstances and potential, they do so, letting go of the fear and stress which cripples them.
As the numbers continue to climb again around the globe, can we open the conversation about supporting our immune systems to do the job they were built to do. Enabling the body to journey through the virus, hopefully increasing the number of people with natural antibodies. Science is powerful, however, let us not forget that science has been wrong many times throughout history. We are each housed within a body, a system that works hard to serve us through all of life’s challenges. Gratefully the last ten to twenty years I have watched our nutritional awareness expand and start to be taken seriously. Hippocrates and so many along the way have tried to tell us – What we put in our bodies, how we care for the inside and outside directly impacts our quality of life.
I might be completely wrong, but, I bet this will not be the last virus to challenge us. It’s a glorious opportunity for us all to compassionately care for ourselves and each other. Pointing fingers, blaming or shaming do not solve anything, they only inhibit our ability to heal, learn and grow. Like all things in life, we can look at COVID as an opportunity to create positive change or allow it to control with fear and limitation.
I am one of many newly counted statistics in my area… It is not fun, however, I am grateful to have a body that is rallying with me to move through this challenge to heal and become even stronger through the experience. My appreciation expands beyond words for all of those on the front lines testing people, working in the hospitals, trying to create the vaccine, and… May we all remember to be that smile behind the mask that helps someone to have a better day, to know they are not alone, and to do our part in our own self care, so we can then assist others.
We are not just a statistic. We are a human with many feelings, desires and dreams. As a species we excel at creativity and ingenuity, may we not forget that we are capable of great things. Fear drags us ALL down, it limits and controls. Personally, I prefer to focus upon ways that I can co-create positive change, versus getting sucked into the quick sand of fear and worry.
I ask you –
- What things do you do daily to take care of your body, mind and spirit?
- Do you know ways that you can bolster your immune system?
- Are you taking action with regard to your own health and well being?
- As you hear about the spread of COVID, are you also educating yourself on ways to help your body be ready?
On this snowy day in my world I send you well wishes for a healthy happy week….
If you have been following the magical magazine that changes life’s – Click HERE for this last week’s excerpts or to start the story from the beginning.
As a young girl I loved to sit at my small dark wood desk, resting underneath the solo window of my bedroom. A breeze spiraling in with sounds of the outside world. I would sit in that quiet reverie contemplating life, listening to the birds, the trees, the layers of silence. Feeling safe and held by the home which had stood strong since its construction during the great depression. I often wondered about the hands and hearts that built the large log cabin I lived in. They were on the road, away from family, working physically hard every day to send money home to those they loved. The Civilian Conservation Corps set up during the depression by President Franklin D. Roosevelt left a trail of crumbs across this nation in the form of log cabins, tree plantings, bridge building, forest fire fighting and so much more. I was gifted at age nine to move into one of these historic homes, it cradled me with stoic wisdom. In my heart, I shall always feel, hear, smell and resonate with the home and land that “built me”.
Today as I sit upon my fifteen dollar wicker garage sale chair, I am blessed to feel the soft caress of a spring breeze, watch the ripples on the pond and hear the song of birds intermixed with the distant buzz of traffic. This sweet little sanctuary is tucked in the center of a busy city, a diamond hidden in the hard concrete that swaddles it. I watch and listen as people walk by on the nature trail across the pond, they meander a path sandwiched between the Boise River and the planned suburban neighborhood. I wonder what they are thinking at this interesting time in our world. The dogs with them merrily celebrate the chance to play with their human being, living completely in the present moment as always in joyful glee and curiosity.
I get to sit here doing what I love, putting word to page, because the world is on “lockdown”, a time of shutting away to protect ourselves and each other from the COVID-19 pandemic. It is a sad and scary time and yet it is also an opportunity to slow down, reflect, feel and notice what is most important.
In the last few days I have noticed more families than ever before on the nature path. I have actually observed teenagers and young people, a rare sighting in the wooded arena. The natural world has become the safe zone, a place we can stretch our legs and allow movement to soothe the inner nagging fears. In the last few days I have watched my own children who are now young adults, play games, create art, read books, and for my son, prepare to finish his junior year of college online.
Personally I have found myself deeply searching what truly matters to me. While I am blessed to be off the treadmill of daily expectations and busy-ness, I tour what beckons my heart and soul? What do I dream to live and experience before I leave this planet? What makes me smile and feel vibrantly alive?
I have chuckled at the answers to these questions, for they are not a surprise. Instead they return full circle to the same dreams as that young girl sitting beneath her windowsill at her little wooden desk. I am still a simple person, a content introspective quiet soul. I find great joy in noticing the subtle changes in a flower that has started its blooming journey. Peace rises and percolates within me for the consistent grace and flow of nature, its tenacity and on going perseverance. Its exudes courage and strength as it bends and furls in response to the impacts of humans and mother nature. Like us, it is often at the mercy of what gets hurled upon it. The ebb and flow of tides perpetuate across the globe despite the human struggles at this time. Nature endures, we endure…
Nature mirrors for me what is possible.
To sprout and become in adversity.
To radiate beauty in the midst of chaos.
To serenade in perfect harmony amid the onslaught of man’s machines.
To acquiesce with perseverance and complete faith…
Like a fallen leave floating in forced surrender upon the turbulent waters of a fast moving river…
In time it shall eddy in quiet stillness, catching it’s breath, taking in the view…
Rising, falling, twisting, flipping, floating, where and when shall its journey end..?
Only to begin again…~ Fawn Caveney
- In this unexpected challenging time, what are you noticing about yourself and the life you live?
- I am curious what you might be discovering as you are forced to slow down and BE?
- Are you able to feel into gratitude for the hidden blessings?
- Has your compassion expanded or contracted?
- How can you use this time to reconnect to the self, ignite dreams?
- What are the creative ways you can connect with others?
- In the surrender can you find the inner peace that resides within?
For me, in this moment, I have been allowed the time to remember. To come home to the quiet little girl dreams. Sure, I could go down the path of fear, it is there tapping on my door. How would that serve me, or those I love? As I breathe in deeply, feeling the truth that each moment is pure grace, never to return again, I choose to hear, listen, feel and notice. How do I wish to spend the next moment? As always we are at choice to BE or react.
To you and yours I wish health, safety, and love.
I invite you to join me for a delightful way to begin your day. Join me at The BEingness Project today, for a sweet, simple exploration into a daily ritual that has the potential to shift your life. One of the most powerful things you can do to step away from living a reactionary life to living a life of choice.
Choice is yours…
- As you read that title, what is your first response?
- What do you hear your mind say the second you read it?
- Yeah, sure you hear me!
- No you don’t! No one really listens anymore.
- I don’t really share, so how can you hear me.
Have you ever noticed how quickly you start to think about what you are going to say to someone who is talking to you? There you stand formulating in your mind what you can say back. What’s the perfect thing to respond? When you do this, are you truly listening, sincerely hearing the person you are with?
If you are a parent, do you really listen to your child, no matter the age, to HEAR what they are sharing? Not just the words they speak, but the body language, the message sent from their eyes, tone, word choice, etc…
What about how you listen to a colleague, spouse/partner, friend, family member, stranger..? Do you listen differently depending on who is talking?
Have you ever noticed how much attention you will give to someone “important and powerful” by societal and cultural standards – yet when your child, friend, family member or co-worker share you only half way tune in? I observe this all the time.
Do you think you fool anyone with regard to your HEARING and Listening skills? People, especially the young and wise elders, KNOW when you are really listening or not. Just watch a baby who has a present or distracted parent. Observe your friend when you really sit and pay attention to their story versus being fidgety to battle for conversation rights. There is an intuitive knowing when someone is truly LISTENING and HEARING YOU.
I have watched and observed this for years and years. Noticing within my own behavior the expansion of my ability to truly HEAR. As I have gotten older and wiser, my ability to HEAR and LISTEN has increased, enriching my life in so many ways.
When I worked in a nursing home, daycare, restaurant, sales rep., customer service specialist, ropes course facilitator and classroom teacher – HEARING was key. Active, Present Listening enriched, expanded and opened all of these professions into glorious opportunities for co-learning and co-growing through genuine heartfelt sharing.
We all crave a safe place to share. The desire to be truly heard is as powerful as the desire to be seen. In the chaos and busyness it is often a challenge to get people to drop into TRUE sharing, however, I have learned that BEing completely present, making eye contact with sincerity and truly Listening opens the flood gates for powerful connection.
I strongly believe that one of the most important gifts I can give myself and others is to HEAR. To Listen with intense complete presence, shutting off my mind chatter. I absolutely LOVE the connection experienced when I truly listen – WOW.., it is intensely powerful. Full of surprises and new understandings.
What if today, you challenged yourself to slow down and really HEAR? What might you learn about your partner/spouse, friend, child, co-worker, etc..? How might you feel as you allow this true connection? What might you learn about yourself and others? Below are a couple of articles that briefly discuss Listening, I thought you might enjoy them.
“I am a good listener, hearing with all of me in complete presence what other’s are sharing with me.”
Today’s “Walking Naked Truth” Practice:
- Today, slow down with awareness at least three times to truly LISTEN.
- Notice how it shifts the experience.
- Today, share at least three times with genuine honest sincerity – creating the energy of true connection.
- Notice how you feel when you share your truth in vulnerable open presence.
The one thing that is for sure, change occurs. It is a part of everything. Everyday there is change. Seasons, aging, growing, learning, experiencing, building, expansion… If we embrace this truth, we free ourselves to enjoy, relax and let go of the need to control.
If you are a parent, would you ever wish to stop your child’s expansion into adulthood? As a child once yourself, would you have wanted your parents to control your becoming? From birth we are changing. We can fight it or embrace it with joy, knowing it is a part of life.
As I look in the mirror seeing the gray hair, the smile lines, the change in my skin, teeth, body, I am at choice to LOVE what I see, celebrating the grace and gifts of aging – or – I can fight it, hide it, color and mask it. Why? Who do I deceive in this denial?
I personally love watching the seasons flow. Each season has such unique expressions. There is continual change from one day to the next. The ducklings become adult ducks. The leaves and blossoms arrive to cycle into death and back again. Even in places where the seasons do not shift, there is change, nature is perpetually morphing.
Today what if you accepted the Truth that life is full of Change? What if you not only embraced this reality, you actually chose to celebrate it. How would such a shift impact your life? Would you stop worrying, stop trying to control, relax and allow?
People change, thus relationships change… Jobs shift and adapt to what comes next… Everyone exists on the timeline of life, aging is a part of the journey… Your life adventure infuses you with new understandings, growth, discoveries, lessons and glorious experiences – how fun to embrace with Truthful knowing that you are Changed by all of it.
I am one who embraces change with curiosity, openness, trust and faith. As I flow with Change, I am free.
Today’s Walking Naked Truth Practice:
- Today notice your reactions to change. As you notice, decide if you want to react like a victim or celebrate with trust.
- Begin to become aware of how “fighting change” has impacted your life.
If you would like to explore change even more, go to The BEingness Project.
May today be full of your Truthful Expression, Fawn
If one was to look through the lens of the artist, what would the canvases of your life look like? Would they express and share your truth? Or would they be a mirage, a glorified fantasy to make others feel comfortable?
Let’s get sincerely truthful here – YOU are the Artist of your life.
Each and every day YOU put the colors upon your fresh canvas. YOU hold the magic paintbrush that allows others to be a part of the scene or not. YOU elect what will imbue with infiniteness upon the canvas, or smudge off to disappear.
I am daily amazed at how many people choose to carry around a multitude of canvases, sharing with others the stories that burden, limit, and hinder their life. They allow the paints of blame and shame to smear onto the new canvas, creating again the lines you think you must color within.
What if today YOU allowed yourself to see the canvas as clear and clean of all past debris? What if YOU chose to get out all the colors? Then, what if YOU selected what would be on the canvas and what would not?
Can YOU BE your TRUTH upon the canvas? Can YOU allow yourself to explore the exquisite artist palette of life, free of worry, fear, denial, judgment, criticism and expectation? Can YOU allow yourself to be passionately creative?
I invite you to imagine, what would your unique vibrant TRUTH look like upon the free space of your life canvas. Today’s canvas is only here once. Yesterday’s canvas is complete. Tomorrows has yet to arrive. Only today in all your sweet moments can the rich hues, colors, depth and expression present itself. At the end of the day, you will lay your paintbrush down to rest, clearing it of all residue, so it is fresh for a new day.
YOU are the Artist of your life. I challenge you with a joyful smile to paint your TRUTH. To express upon your canvas today the raw, vulnerable, real you – from inside out.
What will the Art Gallery of YOUR life look like….?
I am freely and joyfully the artist of my life, expressing with truth, love and passion upon the canvas of my life.
Today’s Walking Naked Truth Practice:
- Today carry with you a piece of paper where you write down the things you experience and feel that you want to paint on your canvas. Be clear with the TRUTH that you have CHOICE, do not put down things that you do not wish to perpetuate or put into more permanent existence.
- Play with this, maybe you cover the page with words, little images, perhaps you jot down feelings, whatever will help you to remember what shall be painted on your unique canvas for this day.
- At the end of the day look at your paper canvas – absorb the awareness that YOU are the Artist. YOU have Choice as to what goes onto your artistic expression of life.
If you would like to explore more deeply this truth, check out The Beingness Project.
May you freely and passionately “Walk Your Naked Truth” – Fawn Caveney
My sincere apologies for not posting in awhile. I took my BEingness on a little road trip with my daughter to share time with my sister (visiting from Turkey) and my mom (visiting from Virginia). During this precious connection time, I allowed myself the grace to BE completely present.
The thirteen hour drive there and back gave me time to reflect, explore and ponder what I felt truly served this space. What do I wish to share, why and how? What best serves those who take the time to come to the page? What does the world need? What do I offer?
When you allow yourself the grace to BE completely present, all pressure washes away. It is a glorious space, for it opens up an awareness to the suspension of time. I personally find myself observing the chaotic buzz which goes on around. People racing here, there, everywhere. Supposedly on a mission to “Do this or that”, to get things done, to make money, to accomplish tasks, to…. It’s like standing in the center of a beehive watching it all come an go with such ferocious intensity.
I enjoy this space for it offers me perspective, reminds me of what is important and pushes me to let go. Like a dog who has the amazing ability to always be present, I joyfully soak in the moments with loving gratitude.
The time away allowed me the opportunity to observe people in their busy world, to investigate how I might serve them more to BE. Sharing the “stopped moment in time” when they honor themselves. The gentle reminder that a deep breath in complete presence shifts everything.
From my place of observation I felt ideas circulating and stirring. Following some quiet meditation time and journaling a new format for sharing with you birthed itself. I am excited to create this new offering and experience.
It shall honor your busy schedule, while offering the gift to slow down for just a little bit, to care for the self. I humbly thank you for your patience as I revamp this blog to serve more sincerely the needs I hear from you.
May you gift yourself today with an awareness for how amazing you truly are, breathing in the magnificence of BEing alive to experience all that is. May your heart expand into the pure grace of BEing Enough Always….
In Humble Gratitude, Fawn
The other day someone asked for clarification, “What does BEingness feel like? How will I know that I am in that space?” Great question!
Just like everything in life, the sensation, feeling, and experience of something is individualistic. Each person comes with their own unique wiring, life journey and delightful matrix blend.
So, I can only describe BEingness from my perspective.
BEingness for me is:
- A sensation of infinite expansiveness where love vibrates continuously.
- A suspension of time, as though everything slows downs, comes to a standstill, allowing me to center.
- A rising sensation of joy, bringing a natural smile to my face and a releasing of all man-made burdens.
- A feeling of BEing quietly in the flow of all that is, no separation, no judgment, no DO, just BE.
- An inner knowing that everything is working out, that all is happening for me.
- A space free of ALL doubt, fear, loss, hurt, worry, judgment, criticism.
- A luscious space where you just know that life is a dance, a gift, a way to explore more.
- A sensation that knows anything is possible.
- It is a vibrational energy that frees me to hear and make decisions from a place of love, creativity, passion and joy.
- Ultimately an indescribable space that is difficult to articulate, yet I dream of everyone experiencing its pure freedom and grace.
How do I know I am in that space?:
- I am free of Reactionary behavior.
- I do NOT feel worry, fear, doubt, judgment, criticism or that I HAVE to DO something, for I am already Enough, Worthy and Perfect as I AM..
- I feel relaxed, joyful, peaceful and content.
- The outside world does not impact me, I can view the chaos, hear the negativity, yet I do not react.
- Time disappears, for I am in a flow of creativity and sharing.
- I am not bothered by people’s choices to suffer, play victim, stay stuck, I instead vibrate in an infinite space of love, forgiveness and grace.
- There is a deep stillness within, no matter what is going on around me.
BEingness is a sensation, space, way of BEing that I wish for everyone. It frees up the monkey mind to relax back into a knowing that all is working out.
Check out the The Beingness Project for some ways to begin the journey home to BEingness. Start a simple meditation practice, to open yourself to more. Below is a simple guided meditation I created for you.
May today be a day of flowing love, grace, peace and joy for you….
In Expansive Joyful Grace, Fawn