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I Am A Wild Woman

I am not your conquest,

I am your desire.

I am not your need,

I am your truth.

I am not separate from you,

I am you.

I am not a tamed lion,

I am a wild woman.

I am not yours to possess,

I am here to open love.

Only when you stop thinking, will you see me.

Only when you let go, will you feel me.

Only when you listen, will you hear my beckoning desires.

Do not come to me with your need and want contrived by society.

Do not come to me wishing to penetrate in self disguise.

Do not come to me wishing to possess or play games.

I am like the air, I cannot be contained, held or captured…

However, I will gladly stay, I will blossom beyond your wildest dreams if you…

…touch me as though you are blind.

…taste me as though you have no thirst.

…listen as though you are deaf.

For as you unify with the mysterious wild woman, all falls away to expose the truth….

I am here….

Where are you…?

~ Fawn Caveney 7/21
Freedom stirs from within, it swirls and twirls, unleashing the ever present wild child…

I recently returned from a trip that expanded my present transformational journey, for when one sets upon a quest with an open heart, soul and mind, the swirling encounters awaken vast insights.

As a foreigner in a distant country I was titillated by the power of being anonymous, lost in a sea of chaos that I did not need to understand. I was free to be me. Wandering the streets, beaches, historical sites, and delectable restaurants I allowed myself to feel, taste, explore and be seen. Vulnerable yet unafraid, adrift with no expectation, attachment or preconceived desire, I was a wild woman dancing in curiosity and flowing openness.

Upon arriving back on the shores of my homeland, I found myself surprised by what percolated forth from the experience. A reoccurring awareness, an old friend, a circling back to my youthful knowing. As a woman growing up one is silently taught to behave a certain way, only want specific things, and definitely do not express yourself as a “wild woman.”

In a patriarchal world I was taught to hide my sensuality, present my authenticity in respectable ways and squelch my wild untamed nature. I have never been good at this. More to the point, I do not wish to be good at it. Thankfully I grew up surrounded by nature, held and nurtured by the true wild and free. This planted in me a knowing, one that has thankfully nudged me in moments when I have forgotten the true power of my feminine energy.

To sit upon the earth connects the breath to that which is, freeing the soul to dance upon the wind…

During my adventure abroad I was approached by various men. My immediate reaction was caution with a twinge of skepticism. However, as my wise female traveling friend can tell you, I ooze with positivity and openness, so…. I allowed the court-ish play and absorbed the attention. Meandering down the streets of their outspoken desires, I knew I was at choice. As I present this I can feel the paradoxical reactions, they race in like flies to rotten meat. I danced along the tight rope of my own desire to be seen and wanted, while staying vigilant to the wise woman’s voice from within.

I reflect back with a smile, grateful to have met unique masculine souls along the way. They were juxtaposed into the trips original purpose, “Soul Sisters” coming together for a female vacation of play. Ahhhh, I love the intensity of life’s perfect timing and coquettish frolic. The dynamic women I was gifted to explore with came in diverse ages, backgrounds and life experiences. Intensifying this profound mixture of masculine/feminine energy was the most powerful source of all – nature.

Feeling my body glide into the Mediterranean and silky reed filled lake, called forth that Wild Woman. Listening to the cacophony of cicadas, who’s mating song was held in the moist sultry air only heightened the awareness. Sublime ecstasy. Gentle breezes and delicious wind bursts, generated their own wistfulness. I found myself completely swept off my feet. Innocently graced to live each moment in complete presence, no yesterday, no tomorrow, just the vibrancy of now.

As I massaged the intricate aspects together I marveled at the voluptuous experience. Once again I was reminded of the profound Wild Woman Soul. I wish for every woman to tap into this instinctual infinite source; to invite, welcome and rebirth into her true feminine power.

What does this mean? It means you get to live vibrantly alive, sharing and expressing your authentic self. It means you get to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ without apology. It means you get to unabashedly express your desires and passions. It means you get to blossom and reveal as you feel called, free of all expectation, attachment, judgment and labels. It means you dance wild and free….

Over and over again in my life I have found myself saddened by the loss of the Wild Woman. I see it and feel it in the eyes of the women I meet, yet, they hold it back, they force it to stay confined in the cages built by a society intimidated by its powerful force.

Within every woman there lives a powerful force, filled with good instincts, passionate creativity, & ageless knowing. She is the Wild Woman, who represents the instinctual nature of women. But she is an endangered species.

— Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Author of Women Who Run With the Wolves

My second night back in the states, I was jolted awake by my muse, who shared very clearly what is to come next for me. I chuckle, for again, I pick up the torch, called by my soul to invite women to join me in Awakening their Wild Woman. In the past I have had the privilege and honor to work with women in various circles, helping them to remember how magnanomous they truly are. My recent life choices and exploratory adventures bring me back home to my calling and purpose – I am here to hold up a mirror, so you may see the Wild Woman that awaits your permission to fly free.

Wild women do

And they don’t regret it

Wild women show

What they’re goin’ through

Wild women do

What you think they’ll never

What you only dream about

Wild women do.

Natalie Cole, Wild Women Do lyrics

If you are ready to say YES to your Wild Woman join me at The BEingness School

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Time…

Time is a funny thing, it is slippery, invisible and elusive. I stare out my window, watching the summer leaves dance in the hot breeze. What does that feel like? To be stationary and at the mercy or celebration of all that is around you. A reactionary component of the big picture. Often ignored, barely noticed by the person walking by on the sidewalk. Like an individual leaf, each person floats in a world of billions. We are tossed and turned upon the breezes created by others and ourself. We react or obseeve, we cry or laugh, dance or stand frozen in the quick sand of our own indecision.

What drives us, calls us, whispers to our very soul? Can we hear? Do we listen? Are we so numbed and stuck that like the leaf we stay even though our heart beckons us to move. A victim of our own paralysis. We put our dreams upon the shelf with the other knick knacks, letting them gather dust, becoming regrets lost in time.

Patience, time, faith, belief and persistence keep the spark of a dream alive. Like the farmer who plants the seed knowing that with consistent nurturing the tiny nugget will blossom into a magnificent plant. Too often we are impatient, we give up, let go and deny ourselves the opportunity to believe in the dreams that stir deep within.

I often meet people who say, “well I don’t have any dreams,” or “someday I will go for it,” or “I can’t possibly follow my dreams right now, I have all these responsibilities…” I myself have mouthed such phrases. Thank goodness the tiny voice inside never gives up. The child within me always believes, sadly sometimes I gag her wisdom and pretend I cannot hear her haunting call.

Today I sit here smiling at all the little side paths I have enjoyed in my life. Little adventures to keep the wandering spirit in me alive and curious. In high school it was to be an exchange student, my year in Australia was incredible! Last year I moved to a farm to intern, learning so much about myself, farming, and rekindling my inquisitiveness about the world around me. In college I could never decide what I wanted to be when I grew up. It took me twenty-eight years, four campuses and over 240 credits to “finish” my bachelors degree. I have loved following my muse into diverse jobs, exploring new places and spaces. Yes, my inner sprite has joyfully kept me open and engaged with the dance of life.

Growing up I was taught that life is a linear experience, you do this, then this, and then.., all of it focused on some destination in the future. Why? I have asked this question my whole life. Why? What? Why do we put such emphasis on tomorrow instead of being present today. Why do we spend so much time achieving instead of enjoying the journey. What is that destination? What will I feel when I get there?

Gratefully I gave up on that paradigm, well maybe I never believed in it. My curious, inquisitive nature could not be held to the worn and trodden path. There is nothing wrong with this path, for many it creates and offers immense joy and pleasure. For me it felt like being caged, confined, and tamed. That’s what glorious about our individuality, like the leaf on the tree outside, we are each rare and extraordinary.

Time... hmmm…how do we want to live in the time we have? We do not get it back. It does not slow down. Personally I find it to be ambiguous in nature, sometimes frozen and suspended, at other moments it’s a speed zone, blurred and lost in the rearview mirror. Before my time is up, I invite the dreams from within to find their operatic voice, it’s time to enjoy the blossoming of seeds planted years ago…

I close today wondering how you –

  • Spend your time?
  • Live life? In reaction or choice?
  • Engage with your dreams?
  • Dance with contentment, joy, love?
  • Paint your life canvas – is it your paintbrush or someone else’s?

Watch for my upcoming online courses and the opportunity to work with me – Dream Whisperer and Beingness Guide.

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Dreaming in the Daytime…

“Your Soul’s Invitation” – A fictional journey that epitomizes the adventure life can be when we follow our bliss, our heart’s desires… Click Here to read the latest or start fresh.

As we individually believe, we attract others who share in the dream, this connection lifts us into more…

Over the years I have refined my Daydreaming practice. It has become my way to explore ideas that bubble up, visions that roll through my mind and passions that tug on my heart strings. It has taken me years to cultivate and allow the Daydreaming gift to blossom. Growing up in a society and culture that is all about action and making it happen, leaves one feeling guilty if they are not setting goals to move towards a dream. The challenge for someone like myself is that I am “multi-passionate” a term created by one of my favorite women, Marie Forleo.

I have always been multi-passionate, most days 3 to 5 different ideas jig around my mind, playing with merriment and anticipatory potential. Often, I will be playing with these concepts then bang! Another possible scheme, percolates into my mind’s eye. Ugh.., how does one decide what action to take when they are being bombarded by so many desirable creative adventures. The sensation of this glorious daydreaming is like popcorn in a very hot pan, it pops with such intoxication! It is a high that elevates one, a pure shot of joyful passion. I sincerely wish for everyone to play, for can you just imagine how happy the world would be if everyone was imagining what can be.., versus being stuck in the old story. This high has only positive long term effects, while it is quite addictive, it will not lead you down a path of despair, it will invite you into the pure potential you are here to express and share.

I used to torment myself and others by trying to make it all happen. Taking action steps towards the various projects. Ultimately this wore me down, for I have this pattern of robbing from my sleep. As a single mom with two children, I had to maintain the day job to keep the lights on, thus the only place I could snag time was in the wee hours. I am still guilty of setting my alarm for 3:00 to 3:30am, for the precious morning time is when I can fuel the flames of my passions. I know this will not always be the case, for as I continue to nurture my dreams they are gaining momentum towards expansive growth.

So where does Daydreaming fit in? Well, to decipher and handle the massive flow of ideas, I play with them, like a cat with a mouse. I give my heart, mind and soul complete permission to play in the imaginary world. I journal in the dark of morning, letting the dreams come alive on the page and within me. It starts my day with such magic and excitement. I authentically allow my imagination to FEEL the sensations I might experience if I was to truly live out the plan/idea? Does it lead to something I truly wish to live day in and day out? Can I see doors opening along the way? When I live in this pretend Daydream, is it what I really want to FEEL and EXPERIENCE? Everything we desire in life is because we want to FEEL and EXPERIENCE something. Humans are purely driven by our hunger to receive certain sensations – love, acceptance, freedom, peace, joy, security, connection, etc….

I joyously allow myself to explore in the Daydream for as long as it takes to feel clarity. Clarity comes in diverse forms, sometimes I have lived the Daydream so thoroughly that I feel like I have already journeyed it, thus, I am complete, done, the idea has been experienced. At other times I experience an inspired action step (these have led to great miraculous journeys in my life) that leads towards my effervescent wish/dream. While still other explorations within my Daydreaming playground conclude at a dead end that feels completely burdensome and overwhelming – no thank you, I close the page on that idea and smile with satisfaction that I thoroughly explored it.

Why would I ever stop dreaming during my waking hours? Daydreaming is a delicious way to step into the next moments and potential adventures. I already know what is, why would I want to focus in my rearview mirror or floorboards? So much is out there for me to experience when I look out the front window, letting the past be the past.

I squeak my dreams into the cracks of time that life grants me. The wee hours of morning, the meanderings on walks, the moments of stillness I sneak into my present 9-5 job and the sweet sparks generated as I meditate upon waking and prior to going to sleep. My weekends are selfishly filled with inspired action towards my Day Dreams. I’m very excited about the long Christmas weekend, for I have pulled out a book proposal class I purchased four years ago. Enthusiastically I shall generate a book proposal for my nonfiction book series, “K.I.S.S. Keep It Sweetly Simple – Happiness is easy… Living a life of Choice.” This 6 little book series has twirled in my Daydreams for five years. I self published the first book in 2017, removing it recently from Amazon to edit and update. (Click Here or on the image below if you are curious to see the outline for the series.) Receiving a book offer with an advance would be intoxicating – giving me the freedom to write full time. Oh, I have so many books in my Daydream box 😊!

K.I.S.S. Series, Keep It Sweetly Simple, Happiness is Easy, Live a Life of CHOICE…

I often catch myself hoping to live long enough to enjoy at least half of the Daydreams that sparkle in my galactic imagination. Visions for communities that co-exist, healing campuses that support and shift our relationship in the medical world, bestselling books that entertain and serve, TV series that uplift and inspire…. I have learned over the years that Daydreams have wings! When I believe without question and live as though it already is, the miraculous occurrences line up to co-create and manifest.

I invite you in pure glee to gift yourself with a pilgrimage into your Day Dreaming space. Why not try it? It doesn’t cost money! It easily fits into your day while commuting, preparing meals, getting ready for work, etc…. Like little thought bubbles, Daydreams float about waiting for us to explore and envision.

If you wish to PLAY more with DayDreams here are some other posts including a downloadable Play Sheet

Until next time, I wish you and yours healthy and happy Daydreaming as we close 2020 to embark on what shall unfold in 2021.

Thank you for sharing time with me…

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Just BE YOU…

Are you happy? Do you like who you are?

Why or why not?

Can you remember a time when you were happy? When you really liked who you are?

When did you give others the permission to tell you that you were not enough?

As a person who has always been intrigued by learning, experiencing and exploring interpersonal aspects, I have spent the last thirty-five years investigating myself, others and the world around me. My bookshelves burst with self-help books. I engaged in workshops, classes, certificate programs, attained degrees, tried different jobs and…, all in quest for happiness and self-love.

About five years ago I finally woke up. Looking around me at all I had done, watching people on the streets, listening to colleagues, friends and family, I began to fully understand and more importantly KNOW from within that each and everyone of us is already perfect in our own unique way. No one needs fixing. Everyone is worthy. Everyone is enough. Everyone is on a journey doing and being the best they can in all moments.

When did we give our freedom of choice to others, allowing the dictation of society and culture to fence us in and suffocate our expression?

As I breathed deeply into this new found sensation, I felt myself joyously relax. A new depth of peace filled my soul. Joy gurgled from my very core, oozing out through my pores. Curiosity, wonder, love, passion, desire and pure delight sparkled in my conscious and unconscious being.

The ultimate Ah-Ha rippled through my very essence – awakening within me the truth of truths – All we have to do is JUST BE.

Each of us is a glorious sparkling star in the galaxy of humanity. Beautiful as a solo light, however, even more spectacular in the magnanomous milky way of diversity and concordance.

To look out with wonder is to give ourselves permission to dream, to explore, to play and believe…

For years now all I have wished and dreamed for is that all people come home to the quiet loving space which resides within. Discovering their quintessence truth – they are enough, they are worthy, they are perfect.

In a world where judgment happens first and kindness swings in last, we begin at a very young age to see ourselves as inadequate, not enough. Why do we do this to others and accept such beliefs for ourselves?

As I more deeply embodied the discovered truth, my world opened up in profound ways. Feeling completely “high” on life! I found myself wishing for everyone such pure grace. I cannot even encapsulate in words the full expansiveness of this sensation. It overflows, bubbles forth and lifts one to a pure space of bliss.

It is the reason I created my other blog/business space – The Beingness Project, for I dream of a world where we love who we are and celebrate the differences and similarities of others. It would be a very boring place to live if we were all alike, yuck! Diversity offers us opportunities to learn, grow, explore and discover. Differences stir curiosity and wonder. Just as we would find the world extremely mundane without diverse terrain, a population of clones would drive us nuts!

What might we discover if we believed in ourselves?

Lately I have been exploring the immense fun of storytelling, for we allow fiction to stir up hope, belief and new perspectives. “Just BE YOU” is a novel that journey’s with diverse characters as they come home to their inner truth. Waking up their passions, dreams, desires, joys and curiosities. Opening their hearts and souls to feel and know that they are enough, they are worthy and the world is a playpen to frolic in.

I do not pretend to be clear of human judgment, reaction, or moments of falling down in my self worth. I definitely still have my days where I am bitten by the world around me, its discontent, chaos, separation and extreme hypocrisy pry into my psyche throwing me into judgment, comparison and dissatisfaction. However, I am delighted that I can swing the pendulum back quicker and quicker as I practice breathing in deeply the truth of Just BEing. The world is a magnificent amusement park, full of adventures and discoveries. Can you imagine how grand it will be when everyone awakens to their ENOUGHNESS – gifting themselves to Just BE…

As I allow you to see me – I gift you with seeing yourself, for our innermost desires are rich in similarities…

If you would like to begin the journey back home to your resplendent self check out some of my early vlogs and worksheets to jump start the adventure –

  • Why Beingness? – Vlog #1
  • How much of your life is dictated by others? – Vlog #2
  • When did you stop trusting your emotions? – Vlog #3
  • Do expectations control your life? – Vlog #4
  • Can you imagine a life where you live free? – Vlog #5

I conclude today by asking you –

  • Are you Happy?
  • Do you like who you are?
  • Is life an adventure or drudgery?
  • Do you do what you SHOULD do, or what you WANT to do?
  • Do you blame others for your discontent?
  • Do you blame yourself for your unhappiness?
  • What IF – you loved who you are right here, right now and evermore?
  • How would your life be different if you started to live from your heart and soul?
  • How would life change for you if you stopped letting fear dictate?
  • What would you let yourself explore if you didn’t care what others think?

Happiness, peace, love, contentment, passion… are inside you, always. Today, Give yourself with the gift to Just BE YOU!

Join us on a fictional journey with a magazine that changes whoever opens it – click on image below.

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Why Do We Watch or Read…?

For those following Rita’s awakening click here – Excerpt 5

Do you have that favorite movie you have watched over and over and over again? What about a TV series that you still smile about, even though you watched it years ago? Are there movies and shows that you secretly watch only when you are alone, never telling someone because they might think you are silly, too romantic, or crazy? Is there a book that you have read over and over again? Perhaps it is a book you bought a copy for all your friends, cause everyone will love it like you do, right?

I can honestly answer yes to all of the above. What is it that makes us come back to a movie? Nostalgically remember a show? Keep a book on our shelf forever?

In the pages I get to exist outside myself, I get to feel, explore and be.
Sometimes it is what I dream of, others shock me, while still others ignite such passion….

It is the feelings we get when we watch or read. They give us opportunity to vicariously experience something, give us hope, help us to believe. Some offer us laughter. Others inspire, help us to not feel alone, ignite passion, or simply let us be for awhile. Sometimes it may not be the show as much as who we watch it with, a sweet memory forever etched in our heart.

We choose to watch for many reasons, however, those reasons are tied to an emotion – whether you want to admit it or not.

Many people will say, “I want to escape,” “disappear for awhile,” “forget everything for a bit.” I completely own and admit this reason for disappearing into the world of a movie, show or book. It is delightful to live through the characters, leaving my life behind to feel, dream and imagine.

For most of my life I have written only nonfiction, which my library reflects as my chosen genre. While I enjoy reading a great fiction novel, they seem to be more rare and less often. During my furlough time with COVID I was called to the page in a new way. It caught me off guard and yet I allowed my muse free rein. I began the fiction novel I now share excerpts from three days of the week. Taking my reader on a journey through the life’s of the characters.

I come to the page with anticipation, what will I learn, see, feel, touch, taste, hear…??

I am having so much fun in my writers imaginary world. I now have so many questions for the authors of fiction – how do you leave your characters, how do you come back into the “real world”, how do you keep it all straight while residing in two worlds???

Like watching a good movie I get to disappear for as long as my body will acquiesce to sitting in one place. I get to imagine how it would feel, letting the plot surprise me as it presents itself. I find myself desperately wanting to hide away, to run to a remote little cabin where I can write uninterrupted until the pen is satisfied and complete. I visualize the day when I will not wedge my writing into a forty hour work week.

Already I feel other story ideas generating, bubbling to the surface. I joyfully watch them percolate, knowing their time for birthing shall arrive in perfection as it always does. Right now I get to enjoy every moment I am graced to play with the characters of The Beingness Project – Your Personal Journey Home. They have become a part of my family. I excitedly await the new people I get to meet when they show up unexpected. Oh what fun it is to feel and be in this other existence, a true “fly on the wall” in another time and space.

I invite you to join us as the story unfolds. Today’s excerpt – Day 5 . Will Rita tell her best friend? Will her children wonder what is happening?

I welcome your thoughts, input, and as I have shared constructive noticing when I make a mistake, for I am not an editor, I’m a free flowing writer, who lets the words run wild.

In conclusion, I ask again –

  • Why do you watch and read again?
  • What are we craving and desiring when we revisit a movie, book, show?
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Turning The Page – Next Chapter…

It has been quite awhile since I put words to this page, I have genuinely missed this dance. In some ways I have chosen to stay away to personally investigate how I embody the title of this blog, “Walking Naked Truth,” for I always aspire to live raw, open, vulnerable and authentically present.

Life to me has always felt like an epic novel, rich with layered life experiences that weave together in a vibrant tapestry. Times of gentle flow, excitement, change, love, loss, etc… Each page expressing the ebb and flow of a single hominid traversing her sojourn here upon the planet.

Turning the page in our life is not an end, it’s a bridge between our inner and outer expansion of becoming…

The past couple of years I have focused intently on what “following my bliss” (a Joseph Campbell quote) feels like. Playing with different life paths in my heart, soul and mind. Meditating and feeling into how each avenue might play out. Ironically, I found myself returning to the dreams of my early twenties. Thirty years ago I drew a plan for a sustainable community. I purchased books about cob, straw-bale and rammed earth homes, solar power, small scale farming, herbs, on and on…. Now of course I joyously add tiny homes to the mix, along with earthships, polycultural farming, and…

As I joyously reacquainted myself with these heart desires I connected the dots to more recent places and experiences that I was clinging to, such as –

  • Falling in love with San Juan Island, Washington (2011).
  • Following the agricultural community on the island.
  • Wanting to get back to organic farming and living in harmony with the land.
  • No commuting – living and working in the same place.
  • Engaging my body daily in physical activity – leave “all day” desk sitting behind.
  • Eating even more clean and connected to my food/nourishment.
  • Expanding my support of local and sustainable practices.
  • “Walking my talk” with the believe that anything is possible, dreams can come true and pursuing and living one’s passion is the dynamic tango of an engaged vibrant life.

It was time for my next chapter! At 55 years young, I get to embark on the second half of my life. My amazing fledglings have flown the nest, beginning to explore their own “heart desires”, thus I clip the tired edges off my wing feathers to soar forth into new horizons with vim and vigor.

At times in life we step through a gateway where an untrodden path rises to meet us…

COVID – 19 encouraged my leap of faith, giving me the reflective time to dig deep and put into action the next steps. I wrote a letter to my favorite farm on San Juan Island inquiring if I could come, work, learn, and live upon the bountiful earth. I was willing to do whatever it took, live in a tent, minimal belongings, little income, etc… I had figured out my financial bare bones to live and stay current on bills, while I carved out my new life.

Miraculously I received a positive response, the window opened for me to jump into my new reality. I took Tony Robbins words to heart, “burn the boats”, I sprung into this new chapter of life with complete commitment, I gave notice to my employer, I packed all my personal belongings, loaded my little car, spent as much time as I could with my kids and waved goodbye to Boise, Idaho after 27 years.

I find myself presently enjoying the beauty of a stunning polycultural farm, where I walk to work, engage daily in physical activity that honors the land and creatures. A small character in an ecosystem much grander than the self. Each day is a gift, learning, growing and experiencing so much. I pinch myself to make sure it is all real, feeling the gratitude bubble over.

The novel of my life is a constant work in process. What a grand adventure it is, each page and chapter unfolding and laying a foundation for what comes next. I love flipping through the pages to recall memories, to sit in gratitude for the challenging times that taught me so much, to laugh at sweet moments, and… It is always bittersweet to close a chapter, however, the paradoxical bridge between the last page and new page is a tenuous one rich in a myriad of emotions.

Where are you in the life journey? As you turn the page, is it time for a new chapter, expansion and more time in the present chapter??

It’s hard to put down a good book…

If you followed your bliss, where might you go, do, see, experience…?

Thank you so much for being a part of my life book – In heartfelt gratitude…