Chasm Between Childhood & Elder…

On March 27, 2021 By fawncaveneyLeave a comment

Her eyes sparkle with joyful trust, her feet skip with abandoned freedom, her voice rises with no apology and her hands reach for the dust that sparkles in glittered suspension. She is free, wild and in ecstatic expression of the bliss which always is…

*The inner self does not age, it flows pure in all moments, dancing in twinkling curiosity infinitely…*

Her face was lined from years of living. Her eyes twinkled, bursting with memories etched like fireworks on a dark night. Her smile beckoned one to sit and listen. Her legs no longer danced, they lay bent and disfigured on the bed, raw open bed sores seeping at her hips. Her vibrant spirit encircled you the moment you stepped into her space, there was no victim in this room, no woe is me, instead one was greeted with dynamic passion, simple happiness, and a peacefulness that gently kissed you on the cheek.

Who are the “her’s” I speak of? The first is me, dancing in my childhood living room, chasing the sun dust I stirred up with my exuberant joy. The second “her” is a divine woman I was blessed to care for in a nursing home years ago. Her aliveness, grace, peace, and love still dance in my memory. She and others I cared for knew a truth, as did the child in me.

What did they know? They knew that happiness, love, peace and contentment always exist. They knew tranquility and exuberance did not exist in things outside themselves. They knew that it was accessible in all moments. They knew that no one could give it to them, yet they lovingly shared it. They knew it was a choice.

*Clasping that which is, in desperation, chokes the potential of what can be, before it takes its first breath…*

The years and space between innocent curious childhood and the wisdom of one’s latter years is full of “shoulds,” “comparisons,” “judgments,” and the measuring of oneself against a society often textured with fear and distrust. I do not have to sit very long in a cafe before I can hear someone criticizing themselves, or attacking someone else. The stories swirl around like the sound of an espresso machine, surging like the white foam with blame, shame, hurt, victimhood and discontent. It breeds like flies on a patio table, snatching up every scrappy morsel to inject the psyche with why life is so miserable.

Why do humans choose this? A question I have pondered since I was five years old. Why do we let go of our passionate desires to instead fly someone else’s kite? Why do we slam the door on the pure potential of joy? Why do we kick happiness to the curb, to welcome and invite stressful frustration? Why do we say “have to” instead of “get to”? Why do we choose to go through our days and moments on auto-pilot, waiting for someone or something else to make us better? Do we prefer to wait, to lie on our deathbed watching the autobiographical movie of regret? Why do we look in the mirror with such self contempt and hatred, for as young children we loved our reflection? I ask all of this with curiosity and a desire to understand.

*A body twitches with delightful anticipation when a matchstick of wonder is lit beneath…*

In my sophomore year of college I was blessed to work at an international daycare. Here I witnessed children from all over the world. They danced, played, laughed, cried, and enacted make believe stories together. Dynamically they engaged with each moment in present enthusiasm, viewing the world as a frontier to be explored. I sensed that the older children were on the fringe of losing this curious wonderment. In their play I observed them mimicking adults, their eyes became serious, their jaw set tightly, their voices lowered into somberness, like smoke their joy, spontaneity, compassion and kindness disappeared into the passing wind gust, leaving behind a robotic body controlled by the “taught” mind.

Three years after working in a daycare, I found myself working in a nursing home. Here I discovered the grace and vengeance of aging. I was gifted to share time with souls who lived a full passionate life and others who were embittered with regret. The extreme chasm between the two slapped me stingingly as I would leave one room to enter the other. My heart and soul ached for those fighting their own shadow, their anger and inability to forgive expressed through pinches, punches, and verbal abuse as I tried to assist them to the toilet, shower or dining hall. Off the clock, I cherished the moments I got to sit and listen to the stories from those celebrating life. Stories of falling in love, having children, riding in a car for the first time, rising above struggle, appreciating the gentle flow of seasons, years, experiences, and the pure grace of a life lived fully.

In my forties I found myself teaching language arts to junior high students. Here I witnessed the cross over in technicolor poignancy. A few young people desperately clung to their innocent pure belief that anything is possible, that one could reach for their dreams with unbridled passion. The majority of the students had given up, they did not dream, instead they chased visions of their future painted on the wall by parents and society. They swallowed hard the doses of expectations fed to them with the famous mantras, “when I have lots of money I will be happy, when I get my degree I will be happy, when I buy a house I will be happy, when I marry I will be happy, WHEN I… I will then be HAPPY.

Ironically the joke is on us, for much of life is lived between the wild child and the wise elder. Thus I am forever grateful for the life altering gift of witnessing snapshots of age through my diverse professional life. They have graced me with an awareness and microscopic view that life is really just a brief sojourn. A brief interlude to experience as I choose.

Today I watch the sun dust with the pure delight of my four year old wonderment, I dance with unlimited joy, for I am not young, nor old, I am in between, kissing each spec of time with gratitude.

Today I invite you to join me, breathe deeply into the child you once were before life manipulated you.

Today I encourage you to take back the string to your own kite, feel it dance freely upon the winds of raw, wild adventurous, exploration.

*When did you forget that life is an invitation..???*

Invitations to play:

Dance to your favorite music.
Sing with unbridled enthusiasm.
Daydream upon the page, letting the ink describe what your heart can imagine.
Play the “what if” game – on a piece of paper and/or in your mind play out the potential of following a dream…
Meditate quietly, letting the images and thoughts arise from within.
Color, paint, create, letting yourself express freely.
Close your eyes to feel into and remember the child within, what did you love, enjoy, imagine…
Invite your inner child to play, then get ready for some fun, as you embrace the wonder and curiosity.

I’m curious, do you prefer to hang around the serious, somber, practical person or find great joy in spending time around someone who is passionate, vibrant, dynamic and happily living life?
Your soul’s invitation…

Which one are you?

Center ~ Centrum

On November 14, 2020 By fawncaveneyLeave a comment

If you are following the characters in “Your Soul’s Invitation” as they awaken to their heart’s desires, click HERE.

*Within our center lies all the wisdom to set us free…*

Have you ever noticed that everything begins in the CENTRUM or CENTER as we have come to say in the English language.

*Life expands from the core of that which is…*

A seed grows massively from its original state, it is amazing to remember that a tall tree started so small.
A child becomes from the smallest of eggs that is nurtured and supported from within the center of a woman.
A hurricane swells from the “eye” twirling into its frenzied intensity.
A fire begins from a simple spark, spreading forth in all directions.
A pen touches the page to then move into the formation of a word(s).
A tornado builds its momentum around the funnel, gaining ferocity as it spins.
An artist’s paintbrush tip touches the canvas to spread the scene, the colors, the experience.

*Creation swirls within the seed of our soul…*

When we look closely at a pine cone, leaf, shell, sun, moon, earth…there is a central point, a core, a beginning.
From the pit of a volcano the lava builds, gaining force to spew its contents.
The swell of a wave curls and furls with the circular energy created by the tides and power of the elements.
The earth spins in its orbit, held by a force we cannot see…
The organs that keep us alive reside within the core of our bodies, from that place our heart pumps, lungs expand, stomach digests, existence pulses.
A flower blossoms from within, sending out its petals to adorn that which sparked it all.

*Nature quietly waits for us to remember…*

Today I wish to expand beyond the Center we can see to the central essence of our desires, passions, dreams… The energy that drives us as humans. Our heart and soul’s perpetual reach for love, joy, peace and contentment. So often I witness and experience that people seek outside themselves for these pure life riches. All the while it rests within, waiting with patient quietness and knowing.

Because we cannot wrap it up in a box with a bow on top, we disregard its authenticity. Since it is not something we can touch, pin down, force, or see, we continue to search beyond the next horizon. It has no smell, taste or sound that is uniquely IT. Yet, ITS presence ALWAYS is.

So many have tried to describe this space, Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, Pope Francis, Deepok Chopra, Osho, Ram Dass, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Lao Tzu, the list goes on. Due to our upbringing of living in a concrete, tangible, science focused, do centered society and culture, the struggle with this truth lies in our inability to “prove,” “see,” “touch,” or describe.

*Perpetual, infinite, eternal, pulsating always ~ the invitation…*

It is funny how no one complains about the feeling of LOVE, until we think someone has “done us wrong” or we decide that our sensation of love is controlled by others, or we believe that love is outside of us. No one complains about JOY until we think someone is “raining on our parade,” or denying us what we want. Really….???

For years now I come back to the inner knowing, the truth, the equality we all share no matter what is happening in our world and life. All we have to “do” is BE. Just BE – Tantum Exsisto. As we learn to awaken and remember the seed of BEing that resides within everything, we find our center. We come home to a vibrational space that is love, peace, joy, contentment, grace…. The sweet spot of quiet expansion that is infinite and eternal.

*At the center the calm awaits, cradled in love, joy and peace…*

This glorious core of BEingness has lifted and guided me through so many things. At moments, the world tugs on me through media, news releases, or fear based broadcasts. My personal life, like everyones, takes unexpected turns, that can pull me out of my centered space – however, it only takes a moment to shift. In the time it takes to breathe in and breathe out, I can joyously return to the suspended space of BEingness. (Click on audio for breathing technique)

To sit in this space is not to deny that the earth is spinning, that there is suffering and that life has its challenges. Yes, in the cataclysmic cacophony of human’s perpetual choice to judge, harm and disrespect each other and the planet we live on, we CHOOSE to co-create continued struggle and suffering.

During this time of COVID-19 we have been gifted with a world equalizer. The virus does not play favorites, it does not see borders or walls, it misses the language differences, it is not selective by class or color… Oh we try to force IT into these corals of separation and blame. However, if we are honest with ourselves and others, COVID is not bias.

Another teaching offered by this pandemic is the “slowing down” of the human activity. Our “busy-ness” and distractions have been curtailed, focusing us inward. This kind of quieting, slowing and centering seems to be uncomfortable for many. It does not have to be this way, for the joy, love, peace and contentment do not reside outside, they are waiting within.

*It disrupts what we know, it grabs our attention, it shines a light…are we listening? are we seeing? are we learning???*

I can personally say with such heartfelt glee and expansive love, that once you tap into your CENTER/CENTRUM the ripple effect in your life blossoms beyond anything you can imagine. The feelings you wish to experience travel with you no matter where you go, who you meet, what you experience or see… They exists within you always.

On my other site – The BEingness Project, I share my hearts desire for all to come home to this vibrational space that is indescribable. To live life from this core is to meet and remember what the baby/child in you knew. Sadly, the world around you taught you to judge, compare, separate, limit, and disconnect from your inner BEingness. You were born trusting, loving, believing, seeing the world through eyes of curiosity, wonder, joy… You did not arrive with separation in your heart, or judgment in your mind, or hate in your soul. The bright BEing you were at birth resides within, connected to the unseeable vibrational state of BEing that guides you towards your heart’s desires.

*BEingness brings us forth, humanness makes us forget…*

Just BE, is my internal pulse, it absolutely oozes into everything. I thrive on its expansive love and joy. It bubbles up like a geyser, flowing into all moments with grace. It does not forsake us, we forsake ourselves and each other. Our suffering is our choice, we create and distribute discontent, hate, separation, harm, judgment, blame, condemnation, and… Look into the history books, peek at the ruins of previous civilizations, humans perpetuate the cycle. In a pure state of BEing there is no space for hate, harm, judgment, separation, blame….

In curiosity I ask you –

When has revenge ever really worked? (play out the long term history)
When has hate resolved an issue?
When has blame made you truly feel better? (Feel not think)
How has war resolved a root problem?

Thank you for joining me today ~ I wish for you and yours an experience with your BEingness, for once felt, you will become addicted to the state.

*In the center of our true self it waits…*

If you have been following Rita, Francine, Ken and Doug on their journey to their BEingness, join us HERE.

Precipice of Time…

On April 7, 2020 By fawncaveney6 Comments

Her eyes sparkle with joyful trust, her feet skip with abandoned freedom, her voice rises with no apology and her hands reach for the dust that dances with her in the glittering sunlight. She is free and wild an ecstatic expression of the bliss which always is…

*Life is dancing dust particles – floating dreams that point the way…*

Her face was lined from years of living. Her eyes danced, bursting with memories etched like fireworks on a dark night. Her smile beckoned one to sit and listen. Her legs no longer danced, they lay bent and disfigured on the bed with raw open bed sores seeping at her hip joints. Her vibrant spirit encircled you the moment you stepped into her space, there was no victim in this room, no woe is me, instead one was greeted with dynamic passion, simple happiness, and a peacefulness that gently kissed you on the cheek.

*Life is but a blink, gaze into the infinite possibilities…*

Who are the “her’s” I speak of? The first is me, dancing in my childhood living room, chasing the sun dust I stirred up with my exuberant joy. The second “her” is a divine woman I was blessed to care for in a nursing home years ago. Her aliveness, grace, peace, and love still dance in my memory. She and others I cared for knew a truth, as did the child in me.

What did they know?

They knew that happiness, love, peace and contentment always exist.
They knew that it did not exist in things outside themselves.
They knew that it was accessible in all moments.
They knew that no one could give it to them, yet they lovingly shared it.
They knew it was a choice.

The years and space between innocent curious childhood and the wisdom of one’s latter years is full of “shoulds”, “comparisons”, “judgments”, and the measuring of the self against a society often ruled through fear and distrust. I do not have to sit very long in a cafe before I can hear someone criticizing themselves or attacking someone else. Stories swirl around like the sound of the espresso machine, surging with blame, shame, hurt, victimhood and discontent. It breeds like the flies on the patio tables, snatching up every scrappy morsel to add fuel to why their life is so miserable.

Why do humans choose this?

A question I have pondered since I was five years old.

Why do we let go of our passionate desires to instead choose to fly someone else’s kite?
Why do we slam the door on the pure potential of joy?
Why do we kick happiness to the curb, to welcome and invite stressful frustration?
Why do we say “have to” instead of “get to”?
Why do we choose going through our days and moments on auto-pilot, waiting for someone or something else to make us better?
Do we prefer to wait, to lie on our deathbed watching the autobiographical movie of regret?
Why do we look in the mirror with such self contempt, as young children we loved our reflection?

I ask all of this with curiosity and a desire to understand.

In my sophomore year of college I was blessed to work at an international daycare. Here I witnessed children from all over the world. They danced, played, laughed and cried, living their moments very presently. They saw the world as a frontier to be explored. I sensed that the older children were on the fringe of losing this curious wonderment for life. In their play I observed them mimicking adults, their eyes would change, their jaw would set tightly, their voices would take on a serious tone. The joy, spontaneity, compassion and kindness evaporated, leaving behind a robotic body, controlled by the “taught” mind.

Three years after working in a daycare, I found myself working in a nursing home. Here I discovered the grace and vengeance of aging. I was gifted to share time with souls who lived a full passionate life and others who were embittered with regret. The extreme chasm between the two slapped me stingingly as I would leave one room to enter another. My heart and soul ached for those fighting their own shadow. They carried their anger and sadness like a suitcase loaded with boulders, burdening their final days. These souls expressed through pinches, punches, and verbal abuse while you assisted them to the toilet, shower or dining hall. Off the clock, I cherished the moments I got to sit and listen to the stories from those celebrating life. Stories of falling in love, having children, riding in a car for the first time and rising above struggle. Reflections of the gentle flow of seasons, years, experiences and the pure grace of a life lived fully.

In my forties I found myself teaching language arts to junior high students. Here I witnessed the cross over in technicolor poignancy. A few young people desperately clung to their innocent pure belief that anything is possible, that one could reach for their dreams with unbridled passion. The majority of the students had given up, they did not dream, instead they chased visions of their future painted on the wall by parents and society. They swallowed hard the doses of expectations fed to them with the famous mantra, “When I have lots of money I will be happy, when I get my degree I will be happy, when I buy a house I will be happy, when I marry I will be happy, WHEN I… I will then be HAPPY”.

Today I watch the sun dust with the pure delight of my four year old wonderment, I dance with unlimited joy, for I am not young, nor old, I am in between, kissing each with gratitude for their wisdom.

Today I invite you to join me, breathe deeply into the child you once were before life manipulated you.

Today I encourage you to take back the string to your own kite, feel it dance freely upon the wind.

*We may not control the wind, yet we guide the interplay…*

I wrote this piece originally over a year ago, today it whispered at me, beckoning me to share in this time of change upon our planet. We all sit unexpectedly in a space of suspended uncertainty. As we float between what was and what is becoming, we are being graced with a crystal ball that plays scenes from childhood, while positioning the paint brush towards a canvas of our elder years. Posed on a precipice, can you hear the whispers of grace and freedom? Or do you cling to the chaos of fear?

The wise gentle elders I was blessed to care for no longer inhabit this plane, yet the way they embraced their journey is written in permanent marker on my heart, soul, and mind. I shall not lie on the bed sores of life embittered and shriveled, I shall dance vibrantly in the sparkling company of dust particles…

If you ache for some soothing quiet, please enjoy some of my recorded guided meditations at – “Dawn with Fawn” on YouTube channel or read more at The Beingness Project.

In the quiet stillness lies the grace for more….

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Simply Fawn

Tag: Child