Sometimes stepping forward in life means accepting a level of imperfection, knowing that with time, patience and persistence it will become what you envision. I have been promising myself for weeks that I would start sharing my fiction work, that I would wedge between the cracks of my full time job and life obligations the various musings that bubble up in my writer’s mind.
Today I followed through! It feels scary, vulnerable, raw, peaceful, exciting and joyful, a furious mix of emotions. I can feel within my heart and soul it is the right thing for me to do. I have always been a writer, a wordsmith beckoned to express. Words even arrive in my dreams, floating suspended on a blackboard or white empty space. They will also chant repeatedly in my sleeping head until I wake to write them down.
As I walk they rise up through my legs, flowing into my heart, advancing then into my meandering mind. These are the words you will find etched in the new section titled “BEingness Musings” at The BEingness Project site. These are raw unfiltered musings, free from editing, critiquing and justifying. They arrive as flowing gifts, that I unwrap upon the page.
My fictional dance unfolds piece by piece at – The BEingness Project – A Fictional Invitation. Here you just might be surprised to discover how you relate to the characters, get wrapped up in the interwoven story and find yourself questioning the path you are on…
I invite you to BE with me. To dream. To live vibrantly alive. To awaken your hearts desires. To stir your passions. To remember your child-like wonder, joy, love and pure presence.
I conclude in heartfelt gratitude, for while I may not know you personally, I do feel your presence. I am humbled to have you journey with me. It is exciting and comforting to go forth into what is next, knowing you are adventuring alongside…
As I sit here in my “pretend treehouse” I joyously welcome the exquisite symphony of the surrounding trees. They undulate with an unspoken acceptance. I am mesmerized by the dancing blossoms before me, they remind me of the miracle that life continues, that beauty is continually birthed, even in adversity. The water on the pond churns, it acquiesces to the commitment of the wind to create change. Dancing clouds flirt across the canvas before me, tantalizing me with their weightless freedom.
A delicate white petal floats down upon my hand as my fingers strike the keyboard. It invites me to notice, to honor its delicate babylike softness, its sophisticated pure whiteness that only nature can create. I sit wrapped in this minuscule bubble, a tiny air droplet in a far-reaching galactic universe. Gratitude is my blood flow today, it courses through my body like a wild fire on a dry prairie.
My mind has behaved like a squirrel, hopping from one curious topic to another. The human programmed part of me has been interrupting the merry romp, enticing me to be “productive.” Ha, laughs my jolly trickster soul, today is for merriment, for disappearing on the wind currents with curiosity and imagination.
The acorn which has held my squirrel mind with intrigue today is the pondering of authenticity. Genuine authenticity. The kind that makes you feel instantly connected to another, opens your heart with trust and imbues you with a sense of seeing while being seen.
As we sit suspended by this rare virus eruption, the deluge of information is raining down in torrential proportions. I find myself actually shaking my head in sad disbelief at how quickly marketers have snatched up the COVID-19 mantra to make a new sale. To play upon the human psyche like a parasite chewing on the raw flesh of its host.
Now I must also sing out praise for the marketers, businesses and sites that offer the contradiction. In their song I hear a heartfelt desire to ease the fears, calm the worry and extend an encouraging invitation to have faith.
We are such delightful creatures, free to sponge up whatever we put our focus upon. How do we decipher in such strange times the mouth that serenades our hearts and souls versus the mouth that tears us apart, injecting fear venom or draining the coffers of our livelihood?
Again, as I have typed before, I marvel at the technicolor paradox that humans co-create. Think about it, or actually feel into it. Why during a time of such global vulnerable uncertainty would any human decide to propagate information that is harmful, that expands the pandemic from the lungs into the brain washing nervous system. Perhaps, it is an opportunity for us to grow our discerning muscles, to choose where we shall share our time and energy. A time for us to endow the heart and soul with more power, so that we can translate for our brain what is genuine authenticity.
As the tree ripples before me with its ample blossoms, I can sense its eternal trust in the wind. The unseen deep roots know that at times there will be pain, there may even be death. However, it surrenders to the faithful wind, for they need each other, they are interconnected, integral pieces of a tapestry that spins in an expansive galaxy.
As you find yourself besieged with “information” and new advertisements, feel within for the truth, is this an authentic source? Does it offer genuine information or helpful service? Or is it trying to breed with your already sprouted fears, worries and stress?
Personally, I am doing reps to improve my discerning muscle for genuine authenticity…
On this day to never be again, I wish you and yours peace, health, happiness and faith….
As a young girl I loved to sit at my small dark wood desk, resting underneath the solo window of my bedroom. A breeze spiraling in with sounds of the outside world. I would sit in that quiet reverie contemplating life, listening to the birds, the trees, the layers of silence. Feeling safe and held by the home which had stood strong since its construction during the great depression. I often wondered about the hands and hearts that built the large log cabin I lived in. They were on the road, away from family, working physically hard every day to send money home to those they loved. The Civilian Conservation Corps set up during the depression by President Franklin D. Roosevelt left a trail of crumbs across this nation in the form of log cabins, tree plantings, bridge building, forest fire fighting and so much more. I was gifted at age nine to move into one of these historic homes, it cradled me with stoic wisdom. In my heart, I shall always feel, hear, smell and resonate with the home and land that “built me”.
Today as I sit upon my fifteen dollar wicker garage sale chair, I am blessed to feel the soft caress of a spring breeze, watch the ripples on the pond and hear the song of birds intermixed with the distant buzz of traffic. This sweet little sanctuary is tucked in the center of a busy city, a diamond hidden in the hard concrete that swaddles it. I watch and listen as people walk by on the nature trail across the pond, they meander a path sandwiched between the Boise River and the planned suburban neighborhood. I wonder what they are thinking at this interesting time in our world. The dogs with them merrily celebrate the chance to play with their human being, living completely in the present moment as always in joyful glee and curiosity.
I get to sit here doing what I love, putting word to page, because the world is on “lockdown”, a time of shutting away to protect ourselves and each other from the COVID-19 pandemic. It is a sad and scary time and yet it is also an opportunity to slow down, reflect, feel and notice what is most important.
In the last few days I have noticed more families than ever before on the nature path. I have actually observed teenagers and young people, a rare sighting in the wooded arena. The natural world has become the safe zone, a place we can stretch our legs and allow movement to soothe the inner nagging fears. In the last few days I have watched my own children who are now young adults, play games, create art, read books, and for my son, prepare to finish his junior year of college online.
Personally I have found myself deeply searching what truly matters to me. While I am blessed to be off the treadmill of daily expectations and busy-ness, I tour what beckons my heart and soul? What do I dream to live and experience before I leave this planet? What makes me smile and feel vibrantly alive?
I have chuckled at the answers to these questions, for they are not a surprise. Instead they return full circle to the same dreams as that young girl sitting beneath her windowsill at her little wooden desk. I am still a simple person, a content introspective quiet soul. I find great joy in noticing the subtle changes in a flower that has started its blooming journey. Peace rises and percolates within me for the consistent grace and flow of nature, its tenacity and on going perseverance. Its exudes courage and strength as it bends and furls in response to the impacts of humans and mother nature. Like us, it is often at the mercy of what gets hurled upon it. The ebb and flow of tides perpetuate across the globe despite the human struggles at this time. Nature endures, we endure…
Nature mirrors for me what is possible.
To sprout and become in adversity.
To radiate beauty in the midst of chaos.
To serenade in perfect harmony amid the onslaught of man’s machines.
To acquiesce with perseverance and complete faith…
Like a fallen leave floating in forced surrender upon the turbulent waters of a fast moving river…
In time it shall eddy in quiet stillness, catching it’s breath, taking in the view…
Rising, falling, twisting, flipping, floating, where and when shall its journey end..?
Only to begin again…
~ Fawn Caveney
In this unexpected challenging time, what are you noticing about yourself and the life you live?
I am curious what you might be discovering as you are forced to slow down and BE?
Are you able to feel into gratitude for the hidden blessings?
Has your compassion expanded or contracted?
How can you use this time to reconnect to the self, ignite dreams?
What are the creative ways you can connect with others?
In the surrender can you find the inner peace that resides within?
For me, in this moment, I have been allowed the time to remember. To come home to the quiet little girl dreams. Sure, I could go down the path of fear, it is there tapping on my door. How would that serve me, or those I love? As I breathe in deeply, feeling the truth that each moment is pure grace, never to return again, I choose to hear, listen, feel and notice. How do I wish to spend the next moment? As always we are at choice to BE or react.
As you read that title, what is your first response?
What do you hear your mind say the second you read it?
Yeah, sure you hear me!
No you don’t! No one really listens anymore.
I don’t really share, so how can you hear me.
Have you ever noticed how quickly you start to think about what you are going to say to someone who is talking to you? There you stand formulating in your mind what you can say back. What’s the perfect thing to respond? When you do this, are you truly listening, sincerely hearing the person you are with?
If you are a parent, do you really listen to your child, no matter the age, to HEAR what they are sharing? Not just the words they speak, but the body language, the message sent from their eyes, tone, word choice, etc…
What about how you listen to a colleague, spouse/partner, friend, family member, stranger..? Do you listen differently depending on who is talking?
Have you ever noticed how much attention you will give to someone “important and powerful” by societal and cultural standards – yet when your child, friend, family member or co-worker share you only half way tune in? I observe this all the time.
Do you think you fool anyone with regard to your HEARING and Listening skills? People, especially the young and wise elders, KNOW when you are really listening or not. Just watch a baby who has a present or distracted parent. Observe your friend when you really sit and pay attention to their story versus being fidgety to battle for conversation rights. There is an intuitive knowing when someone is truly LISTENING and HEARING YOU.
I have watched and observed this for years and years. Noticing within my own behavior the expansion of my ability to truly HEAR. As I have gotten older and wiser, my ability to HEAR and LISTEN has increased, enriching my life in so many ways.
When I worked in a nursing home, daycare, restaurant, sales rep., customer service specialist, ropes course facilitator and classroom teacher – HEARING was key. Active, Present Listening enriched, expanded and opened all of these professions into glorious opportunities for co-learning and co-growing through genuine heartfelt sharing.
We all crave a safe place to share. The desire to be truly heard is as powerful as the desire to be seen. In the chaos and busyness it is often a challenge to get people to drop into TRUE sharing, however, I have learned that BEing completely present, making eye contact with sincerity and truly Listening opens the flood gates for powerful connection.
I strongly believe that one of the most important gifts I can give myself and others is to HEAR. To Listen with intense complete presence, shutting off my mind chatter. I absolutely LOVE the connection experienced when I truly listen – WOW.., it is intensely powerful. Full of surprises and new understandings.
What if today, you challenged yourself to slow down and really HEAR? What might you learn about your partner/spouse, friend, child, co-worker, etc..? How might you feel as you allow this true connection? What might you learn about yourself and others? Below are a couple of articles that briefly discuss Listening, I thought you might enjoy them.
The title of this blog is likely to stir some reactions, however, I write about one of the most basic human desires and needs – to feel and share touch.
It has been proven in studies that babies need touch to thrive. We do not grow out of this internal craving. The power, grace and gift of touch soothes our very BEing. It is my believe that we under estimate how much we yearn to be touched and to touch.
As a mother, I treasured the soft moments of holding my children, caressing their faces, massaging their backs while they fell asleep. In partnership there is nothing more glorious than the soft warm touch from your lover. Friends and family all blossom with the grace of touch, a hug hello, a touch on the arm to say thank you, a caring goodbye hug full of gratitude…
Touch is one of those things that is directly impacted by cultural, societal and religious “Expectations” and “Domestication”. Everyone is unique in their comfort zone with touch based upon their upbringing, life experience and perception of what touch means. Thus the journey with touch is one we carefully navigate.
I personally LOVE touch. I enjoy sharing it with those who are open to it. I also respect that many people have boundaries. This blog is an invitation to explore touch, to be open to it, to give and receive. Notice how it makes you feel to be touched, to share touch. As one of the five amazing senses we get to experience as humans, why would we not indulge ourselves to enjoy its powerful gift.
If you do not believe me in regard to the NEED for touch, just “Google” it and see what comes up – you might be surprised.
I am a being of love, I enjoy sharing and receiving touch in a honoring, compassionate, caring way.
Today’s Walking Naked Truth Practice:
Play with touch today – see how it impacts others.
A sincere handshake with someone while making true eye contact (Seeing and Be Seen).
Hug a friend or family member.
If in a relationship caress your lovers face and see how they soften to absorb such attention.
Open to receive touch.
Touch a colleague’s arm during an interaction, a non-verbal expression of gratitude.
At the end of the day reflect upon what you experienced.
If you are someone who finds touch uncomfortable, perhaps you can open to explore it with those you trust, for it will soothe and heal.
If one was to look through the lens of the artist, what would the canvases of your life look like? Would they express and share your truth? Or would they be a mirage, a glorified fantasy to make others feel comfortable?
Let’s get sincerely truthful here – YOU are the Artist of your life.
Each and every day YOU put the colors upon your fresh canvas. YOU hold the magic paintbrush that allows others to be a part of the scene or not. YOU elect what will imbue with infiniteness upon the canvas, or smudge off to disappear.
I am daily amazed at how many people choose to carry around a multitude of canvases, sharing with others the stories that burden, limit, and hinder their life. They allow the paints of blame and shame to smear onto the new canvas, creating again the lines you think you must color within.
What if today YOU allowed yourself to see the canvas as clear and clean of all past debris? What if YOU chose to get out all the colors? Then, what if YOU selected what would be on the canvas and what would not?
Can YOU BE your TRUTH upon the canvas? Can YOU allow yourself to explore the exquisite artist palette of life, free of worry, fear, denial, judgment, criticism and expectation? Can YOU allow yourself to be passionately creative?
I invite you to imagine, what would your unique vibrant TRUTH look like upon the free space of your life canvas. Today’s canvas is only here once. Yesterday’s canvas is complete. Tomorrows has yet to arrive. Only today in all your sweet moments can the rich hues, colors, depth and expression present itself. At the end of the day, you will lay your paintbrush down to rest, clearing it of all residue, so it is fresh for a new day.
YOU are the Artist of your life. I challenge you with a joyful smile to paint your TRUTH. To express upon your canvas today the raw, vulnerable, real you – from inside out.
What will the Art Gallery of YOUR life look like….?
I am freely and joyfully the artist of my life, expressing with truth, love and passion upon the canvas of my life.
Today’s Walking Naked Truth Practice:
Today carry with you a piece of paper where you write down the things you experience and feel that you want to paint on your canvas. Be clear with the TRUTH that you have CHOICE, do not put down things that you do not wish to perpetuate or put into more permanent existence.
Play with this, maybe you cover the page with words, little images, perhaps you jot down feelings, whatever will help you to remember what shall be painted on your unique canvas for this day.
At the end of the day look at your paper canvas – absorb the awareness that YOU are the Artist. YOU have Choice as to what goes onto your artistic expression of life.