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Living A Spirited Coexistence…

If you have been following along with authentic journey of Rita, Ken, Francine and Doug, click HERE to continue or start this adventure.

Stepping into the unknown can feel exciting or fearful, which do you choose..? And who taught you to feel this way..?

Over the years I have gradually learned how to hear and feel my spirit or muse as I sometimes refer. Occasionally I do not understand how the image or feeling I experience can possibly come into manifested form. However, I let go with joyful trust, allowing the how, when or where, to present itself. Every time I genuinely let my spirit guide me, miraculous things happen and become.

A Journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.

Lao Tzu

When I was child my spirit walked with me, hearing me while I roamed the woods, played in trees, observed the flowing river and danced in meadows. Never did I feel alone, instead I felt true to myself, at one with the world around me. At times I would joyously talk out loud to my musing friend, sharing dreams, desired adventures and asking for guidance. Often I would burst with elation, singing at the top of my human lungs to the universe with pure glee. As I held the hand of my internal spirit the world flowed, like a gentle river, an infinite stream…

The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.

Anthony Robbins

As I “grew up” in the world of humans this intrinsic core of my BEing was pushed to the side. I was encouraged to ignore its presence, to shut off the joyful rudder that sang to me of life’s grand journey. I heard from all around me to “be smart,” “don’t be silly,” “you must be rational.” As I accepted this, I began to experience for the first time what loneliness truly felt like. At times this taught way of being shut down my airway, choking the very essence of my wild authentic self to death.

I kept trying to find a way to breathe while conforming to the world around me. I knew everyone was trying to help me. Family, friends, teachers, mentors, they were all doing their best, guiding me towards “success” and a happy life. Yet, the more I entrenched myself into the world of “do, conquer, force, stay on the path of others,” the more I died inside.

As the years passed by, I was coached to compare, judge and measure myself against others, graphs of success, dollars in the bank, possessions in hand and to fear that which I did not know. The more I poured myself into this contrived world, the more intensely I felt lost. I had begun to believe that I was not enough, not worthy and far from perfect.

When did you allow others to fill your crystal ball..? When did you suffocate and extinguish your spirited dreams and passions..?

My lifeline was nature. Here I could breathe. Amongst the trees I felt understood, known. The gentle flow of a river soothed and washed away the debris of society’s discontent. The gentle breeze or violent storm awakened the wild child in me, stirring her very essence into impassioned joyful faith. Screaming into the lightening and thunder, dancing naked in a torrential downpour, natures cleansing always called me home. Her earthly pulse, my beating soul and the universal cosmic orchestra, reminded me I was already enough, I was worthy of anything I could dream and that perfection lay in the arms of individual interpretation.

Thankfully the gag I had put around my spirited muse choked me into sputtering awareness. Tearing it off, my lungs filled to capacity for the first time in years. With the inhale I once again remembered the infinite joy, curious wonder, expansive love and peaceful contentment. Daily I build up this deep breathing muscle, chipping away at the facade and mask I had put on to fit in and please the humans around me.

Today I blissfully coexist with my spirit, my muse, my inner BEing. I let her stir the crockpot of life, intoxicating it with elixirs beyond my mere human imagining. Gracing my moments to be experienced as complete unto themself. Everything aligns and flows with perfection, imbuing my time space reality with joy, love, peace and the glorious sensation of anticipation. I know that life is working out, that as I nurture my spirit, it sprouts grand adventures, life lessons, expansive opportunities and infinite explorations.

What does this mean in common language –

  • It means I don’t always DO what I am “supposed to do”.
  • It means that I literally follow the joy or bliss as Joseph Campbell phrased it.
  • It means I allow myself to just BE, sinking into the quiet, expansive space to listen, feel and allow.
  • It means I awakened my childhood faith that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE if I believe.
  • It means that I get to consciously choose to only be around people who joyously “fill up my cup” not “drain it.”
  • I give myself permission to play everyday with my spirited muse, to imagine, to feel, to embody all that I dream as though it already is.
  • I enthusiastically let go, surrender with absolute trust, allowing my inner spirit to guide my life, to share the how, when and where…
  • I ardently fuel the flames of my desires and dreams, stepping forth on the life journey with inspired action.
  • I choose what I will hear from others, the well meaning naysayers get appreciated without accepting their way as mine.
  • I am free to choose in ALL my moments how I will feel and react.
Freedom does not come attached to a flag, government or institution. It lies within, always there, it breathes, it pulses, it vibrates eternally…

Life is a glorious journey! I can share with genuine experience that this human life is magnanimous beyond words when we step forth connected to our inner self/spirit/source – coexisting and co-creating. I just need ten more lifetimes to live and share all the amazing dreams, desires and passions that zoom around my joyful BEing…

I ask you –

  • What fills you with joy when you think about it?
  • What dreams and desires did you put on the shelf and forget?
  • If you were lying on your death bed, what un-lived dreams would stand around your bed, the ghosts of personal regrets?
  • How old were you when you stopped believing you could do or be anything?
  • When did you start comparing yourself to everyone else?
  • Are you truly happy? If not, why??? And if you had that, did that, would you now be happy? Or???

If you have been following along with a magazine that reminds you how amazing you are, then click HERE to read more or read it all…

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Acceptance, Permission, Celebrate…

Settle down, stay put, be consistent, remain in the same job, climb the ladder of achievement, acquire property and things… Ugh!! I have sincerely tried, truly I have. Yet, to do so seems to kill a part of me, to shut off my passion, play and joyful exploration of life’s copiousness.

I recently sat down with myself to sincerely look at my life journey. Putting pen to page, I listed the different jobs I have engaged in since I branched out from babysitting at 16 years old – 38 jobs, yep, 38 different places with their own unique culture. I then reflected on my 28 year Bachelors degree expedition, hmmm… 4 universities, 3 states and over 245 credits in diverse fields of study – English, Business, Communications, Art, Linguistics, Teaching, Travel Tourismm, Health, Exercise Phys…. Then last but not least, I pondered my relationship quest, there too I have been blessed with great diversity.

I have always wondered, who “sets” the norms, why don’t we question and when did I say “yes” – I know I did not…

Embarrassment and shame have clung to me like a shadow that shows up in the dark. Haunting my heart and soul with criticism for my inability to settle down, stay in the same job and pursue life with focused intention to acquire and succeed by the societal and cultural norms and expectations I have been raised in.

Try as I might over the course of my life, I seem unable to do this. I am driven to learn, to experience, to delight in exploring life through the lens of a new place, people, environment and way of living. Every job has had its own lingo, flow and community. Each field of study expands the horizons of interconnected knowledge. Diverse relationships – intimate, friendship, colleague, employer/employee enhance my understanding of the world at large, for every individual has their own story.

The recent sojourn to work on a polycultural farm on San Juan Island powerfully helped me to discover and decipher more clearly what I do and don’t want in my life. As I find myself back in Boise, Idaho, I chuckle at how I hesitate to share this change. Feeling again that old sensation of shame, guilt and failure. In the quietness, I am given the opportunity to really see and feel into why I experience such self-judgment. From a very young age I felt bad for being someone who enjoyed change, who liked to try new things, explore different places and ways of living, finding it exciting and challenging to adapt and gain a new perspective. How can we truly know anything unless we try and change the place from which we view and experience?

I’m a dreamer. A passionate pioneer who thrives in climbing the next hill to take in the new view. Inquisitive, curious, playful and open to what I can learn, experience, see, feel, touch and hear. I grow to accept this truth, giving myself passionate permission to “go for it”, celebrating my soulful wanderlust! Like a wild animal, I do not thrive in the pens of societal and cultural expectations. I fervidly love being a pilgrim in life’s grand adventure!

It has been a long time coming and is way overdue – I Accept and give Permission to my wild soul to dance and engage in life as I am called. I Celebrate the exquisite opportunity to be curious, play, explore and seize the moments I’m graced to breathe… I find myself very excited to see what comes next with no shameful apology! Carpe Diem!!

I conclude with some of my favorite quotes by Thoreau, for they have inspired and comforted me in those moments of judgment –

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.”

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”

“All good things are wild and free.”

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.”

― Henry David Thoreau

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My Second Half…

At the young age of fifty-five, I find myself joyously standing in the center of that which has been and that which is preparing to blossom. An eloquent juxtaposition that feels like a merry-go-round spinning with exquisite suspended scenes.

In addition to my age gracing me with the realization that a lot of life has been lived, my children now soar off into their own adventures, pushing me out of the nest. As the truth becomes absorbed cellularly I find a gleefulness that encapsulates the carefree wild child I was and the passionate wise woman I am. Uniting and marrying the two for prophetic adventuring. A smile spreads, curiosity ignites, rhapsodic imagination takes flight.

In My Second Half…

I know I am worthy and divinely perfect as I am…

I unabashedly live, love, and explore…

I witness the beauty in the mirror, celebrating the gifts of time…

I gleefully embrace my enough-ness, freeing myself of unsolicited opinions…

I canter at full speed into the arena of my passionate dreams…

I leap with complete faith, burying with fervor the crib of regret…

I acknowledge with great gaiety that I am a success and always have been…

I sever the twine issued by judges, critics and fearful fanatics…

I am free to BE me, gyrating with grace into the infinite expansion of self…

I pledge to live engorged at the table of life…

In my second half, I welcome the rhapsody Carpe Diem…

Fawn Caveney

Yes, everyday is a fresh stretched canvas. A posed pirouette. A barren page. A ballad awaiting melody. Oh what delighted mirth awaits in My Second Half…