The powerful journey to live a life of passionate truth…..
Stop Fixing - Start BEING
You are ENOUGH, You are WORTHY, You are PERFECT.
We live in a world that bombards us daily with information and images that try to tell us we are not enough, not worthy, not perfect, need fixing, need healing, etc... This Vlog is an invitation for you to come home to the authentic truth that all you have to do is BE. You are an amazing unique complete human being NOW!
I experience that most people believe they know, know another, know why a person acts this way or that, know what causes someone to do something, know why they feel a certain way, know… However, we cannot know.
Even when it is our children, parents, family or close friends, we cannot know. The journey of each single human being is unique. How we experience life, interpret what happens, react and live is completely individualistic.
Why then do we spend so much time trying to persuade another to think like we do? Convince them of living a certain way? Doing things the way we want?
What would the world be like if we accepted, valued and honored each individual for exactly who they are? Allowing them to BE, free of judgment and coercion.
I chuckle at this thought, for I am not sure we can do it. It seems to be an intrinsic behavior to seek like minded souls and if we don’t find them to try hard to make someone become more like us.
I freely admit I am very guilty of this behavior. Passionately so in my early twenties, I was eager to convince all who would listen that we should eat healthy, exercise, care about the environment, etc…. Of course I still have my strong personal feelings about life, how I prefer to live, what I like to do and to whom I like to share time with. However, I have come to understand that I cannot know, ever.
I find this to be wonderful, for it means I will always get to hear a different story. Learn something new. Look at something from a different perspective. It keeps the world interesting. It also means I get to be ME, freely with delight.
I invite you to play with this idea –
Ask a sibling or friend to share about an experience you both participated in – notice the differences and similarities.
Talk with a colleague about something you both attended, same time and place – did they experience the same things?
Explore memories with your partner/spouse, friend, children…?
It can be eye opening to learn how differently we each experience the world. We can never KNOW what another feels or experiences.
Do you have that favorite movie you have watched over and over and over again? What about a TV series that you still smile about, even though you watched it years ago? Are there movies and shows that you secretly watch only when you are alone, never telling someone because they might think you are silly, too romantic, or crazy? Is there a book that you have read over and over again? Perhaps it is a book you bought a copy for all your friends, cause everyone will love it like you do, right?
I can honestly answer yes to all of the above. What is it that makes us come back to a movie? Nostalgically remember a show? Keep a book on our shelf forever?
It is the feelings we get when we watch or read. They give us opportunity to vicariously experience something, give us hope, help us to believe. Some offer us laughter. Others inspire, help us to not feel alone, ignite passion, or simply let us be for awhile. Sometimes it may not be the show as much as who we watch it with, a sweet memory forever etched in our heart.
We choose to watch for many reasons, however, those reasons are tied to an emotion – whether you want to admit it or not.
Many people will say, “I want to escape,” “disappear for awhile,” “forget everything for a bit.” I completely own and admit this reason for disappearing into the world of a movie, show or book. It is delightful to live through the characters, leaving my life behind to feel, dream and imagine.
For most of my life I have written only nonfiction, which my library reflects as my chosen genre. While I enjoy reading a great fiction novel, they seem to be more rare and less often. During my furlough time with COVID I was called to the page in a new way. It caught me off guard and yet I allowed my muse free rein. I began the fiction novel I now share excerpts from three days of the week. Taking my reader on a journey through the life’s of the characters.
I am having so much fun in my writers imaginary world. I now have so many questions for the authors of fiction – how do you leave your characters, how do you come back into the “real world”, how do you keep it all straight while residing in two worlds???
Like watching a good movie I get to disappear for as long as my body will acquiesce to sitting in one place. I get to imagine how it would feel, letting the plot surprise me as it presents itself. I find myself desperately wanting to hide away, to run to a remote little cabin where I can write uninterrupted until the pen is satisfied and complete. I visualize the day when I will not wedge my writing into a forty hour work week.
Already I feel other story ideas generating, bubbling to the surface. I joyfully watch them percolate, knowing their time for birthing shall arrive in perfection as it always does. Right now I get to enjoy every moment I am graced to play with the characters of The Beingness Project – Your Personal Journey Home. They have become a part of my family. I excitedly await the new people I get to meet when they show up unexpected. Oh what fun it is to feel and be in this other existence, a true “fly on the wall” in another time and space.
I invite you to join us as the story unfolds. Today’s excerpt – Day 5 . Will Rita tell her best friend? Will her children wonder what is happening?
I welcome your thoughts, input, and as I have shared constructive noticing when I make a mistake, for I am not an editor, I’m a free flowing writer, who lets the words run wild.
In conclusion, I ask again –
Why do you watch and read again?
What are we craving and desiring when we revisit a movie, book, show?
My 9 to 5 job that presently keeps me fed and cared for is an intense social job. Between colleagues and clients there is no true introvert quiet. While I may not be perceived as an introvert, I truly am, through and through. I fill up my cup and come back to life when I get to be by myself. The only company I seek or wish to nurture is my muse. He is always welcome, for he awakens and fulfills my innermost desires.
Yesterday after a full week of juggling my day job with my love and passion to come to the page, I was tapped. My muse and soul pleaded for quiet. They literally screamed for pure divine solitude. So, I listened, nurturing the muse, soothing the soul and gifting the body and mind with freedom to rest while wondering into philosophical caverns.
Today I arise. My muse is such grand company. Stirring within me such pleasure, passion, joy and excitement for life’s grand adventure. Oh how I love to play with my muse, he puts the sparkle into life, inspires me to yield, let go and unabashedly play.
Thanks to my muse I do not give up. I step forth with pure trust that he shall guide me home to the writer’s life, to freedom, to a time when he and I get to play all day if we so choose. No time clocks, no outside work, just he and I co-creating with wild abandon.
I feel strongly that we all have a muse, a calling, a beckoning to come home. Delightfully, our muse’s are unique, diversified as we are. When we nurture our muse, hear them, let them take over and fill us up, the sensation is like no other. Infinite joy, wild passion, soft exploration, sweet discovery… There truly are no words to describe such union.
I have also discovered that my muse is not just one dimensional. I feel him weave with me whenever I allow myself to be completely present and enraptured with life. Fully allowing myself to feel, taste, touch, hear and smell the limitless sensations of life’s emotional treasure box.
Once one has drank the rich syrup from the cup offered by their muse, there is no turning back, the taste lingers, it haunts you, whispering an invitation to come home. Oh, once you dance unabashedly with your muse, their is no other partner who can enrapture you so… His bite has infested you, there is no cure. Nor, will you wish for a cure.
When we live each day married to our muse we are like a beacon in the dark, seen by others as we learn to see. I cannot imagine life without my muse. To shackle him is to stop my breath. To imprison him, is to clench my heart into stillness.
Do not fear my dear muse, I shall always nurture you. In me, you are home. In you, I am alive and home. As we dance together the world awakens with wonder. I hope that more dancers shall join us, filling the galaxy with impassioned, vibrant beings who are enraptured with life’s grand adventure.
I am curious, how do you and your muse express?
Share with the world?
Do you nurture and invite the well being of your muse?
Or turn them away, fearful of their intensity and passion?
Click on the image below to enjoy how my muse and I play with a fictional journey into “What if” ~ Travel with the characters as they reunite with their muse, awakening a passionate life…
In the United States one of the first questions people ask another when they meet is “What do you do?” or “Where do you work?”. From the response we begin a litany of judgments within our head, cornering this person into what we perceive someone will be like if they are a teacher, accountant, pilot, engineer, server, nanny, CEO, director, singer, etc… Did you notice your reaction to each title? It is entertaining to observe how programed we are.
When I am working with clients I like to ask, “Do you have anything fun planned for the rest of your day?” or “What do you like to do?” It is fun to watch them react to such an unexpected question. I personally don’t want to know what you DO. I want to know what fills you with JOY. What puts a smile on your face, a dance in your step and fills your life with sweet memories.
As I continue to write “The BEingness Project” (today’s excerpt) novel, I’m having a delightful time allowing the characters to share their truth about what brings them happiness, fills them with excitement, passion, desire… I do not pretend to know or predict, I truly let them present to me as the words flow onto the page. What a joyous play date – a double dose of joy – I get to write, my innermost love and I get to learn about a new person.
As a child we naturally gravitate to what delights and entertains our innermost desires and wants. Then “growing up” and “adult training” ensue, deflating our essential intrinsic path to joy. I have always wondered why we bought into such a contrived way of living.
I invite you to join us as we explore and learn with our characters how to find our way back to the inner joy that has been waiting patiently for our remembering. Each person is a unique experience and unfolding… Below is the novel from this weeks journey. Click the image below to read how Rita is re-discovering what brings her JOY… Will her secret get discovered?
What brings you JOY? What do are you passionate about? What gets you out of bed in excitement and anticipation?
Stories, we all love stories. When I was a junior high English teacher I was keenly reminded how important stories are in connecting us to one another. They gift us with this little glimpse into someone’s life, make us laugh, cry, imagine, etc… Each of my classes coveted “Storytime,” it united us in our own special way, with each class being unique, due to the individuals in the room.
As you travel around this ball in the sky called earth, dropping in at different locations, there is always a story. There is the historical story, the present day, the future hopes and dreams. Stories unite us, inspire us, allow us to feel and connect to parts of ourselves we sometimes close off. In today’s world of modern technology stories come at us through many streams – Instagram, YouTube, Snapchat, movies, television, books, blogs, the list goes on…
I am having so much fun sharing my fictional book! At the same time it is somewhat scary, for the self critique inside wants to come out to judge. However, as the characters become a part of my everyday life, I cannot leave them in the dark, for I do believe that they have a story to share. It has made my heart happy to hear from readers that they relate to Rita, that this first character is connecting to them and they are curious for more.
Join us at “The Beingness Project – A Fictional Invitation,” to be reminded that life is a journey, a story in process, each day a gift to unwrap and open. The link above will take you directly to page 3, so if you are just joining us, make sure to scroll to the bottom of the page to select page 1 to start the journey with Rita. Share this book with a friend, it will give you a fun opportunity to explore some deep topics. A new page is presented every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
As I stretch myself into vulnerable sharing, there is also the “BEingness Musings,” here again there are new posts three times a week, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Go to the bottom of the page to select the piece you wish to read. The musings are unedited “art pieces” that flow from within me through my fountain pen unto the page. I share the image of the writing for those of you who enjoy reading the original ink. Below the image you will find the typed version for easy reading and reference.
The power of a story is quite incredible. They carry with them the ability to transform, destroy, be used as a tool or weapon, they unite or separate, uniquely individualistic, no two people tell the story the same, nor hear it the same… What would life be like without stories???
Isn’t it fascinating how life unfolds for us, often despite our own actions. I enjoy watching people, observing their reactions, choices and way of interacting with the world around them. I often wonder, “did they consciously choose?” or “did they just go through the motions?”.
Life can change within a moment. We forget that, which is a blessing and a curse, I suppose. I catch myself getting caught up at times in the blind behavior of believing that the world “happens to me,” while in truth, I am choosing how I interact with the world.
Sometimes stepping forward in life means accepting a level of imperfection, knowing that with time, patience and persistence it will become what you envision. I have been promising myself for weeks that I would start sharing my fiction work, that I would wedge between the cracks of my full time job and life obligations the various musings that bubble up in my writer’s mind.
Today I followed through! It feels scary, vulnerable, raw, peaceful, exciting and joyful, a furious mix of emotions. I can feel within my heart and soul it is the right thing for me to do. I have always been a writer, a wordsmith beckoned to express. Words even arrive in my dreams, floating suspended on a blackboard or white empty space. They will also chant repeatedly in my sleeping head until I wake to write them down.
As I walk they rise up through my legs, flowing into my heart, advancing then into my meandering mind. These are the words you will find etched in the new section titled “BEingness Musings” at The BEingness Project site. These are raw unfiltered musings, free from editing, critiquing and justifying. They arrive as flowing gifts, that I unwrap upon the page.
My fictional dance unfolds piece by piece at – The BEingness Project – A Fictional Invitation. Here you just might be surprised to discover how you relate to the characters, get wrapped up in the interwoven story and find yourself questioning the path you are on…
I invite you to BE with me. To dream. To live vibrantly alive. To awaken your hearts desires. To stir your passions. To remember your child-like wonder, joy, love and pure presence.
I conclude in heartfelt gratitude, for while I may not know you personally, I do feel your presence. I am humbled to have you journey with me. It is exciting and comforting to go forth into what is next, knowing you are adventuring alongside…
As the years tick by my craving for BEing rises. In this sweet suspended state there is only flow. It awakens a vibrational environment from within that connects me to all throughout eternity – no beginning or end. BEing, to me is a pure state of oneness, like walking on a cloud as the world around me buzzes in chaos. The stillness is infinite and multi-layered. I suppose it is the state often referenced by meditators (which I practice daily), spiritual practitioners, healers and those pure of heart in their religious practice. We are each unique in our journey and thus I do not pretend to know another’s connection to this grand indescribable space. I do know I wish it for every soul, for it releases one from the confines of concrete robotic existence to a place of detached joyous observation. Letting go of yesterday and tomorrow, to freely float in the present moment.
When I was young, I frequented this space with no knowledge of what I was genuinely doing, it was natural, freeing, joyous and full of unexpected discoveries. Sitting still or walking within the arms of nature opened the invitation for me to BE.
In our programed world we are often taught to lose this part of ourselves, severing our connection to the pure potential that always is. Most of my life I did not talk about or share with anyone this divine space of pure grace, for I struggled to find words which could truly embody its pureness of spirit. I still cannot explain, for it is not a state of BEing which can be described. I have often wondered if it is how people feel when they partake of drugs or alcohol, having only experienced the latter. In my personal journey with alcohol I have enjoyed its buzzing sensation that drops walls and opens creative spaces. However, I can say for myself that it does not touch the glorious space of vibrational BEing. Delightedly BEing has no harmful physical impacts, unlike alcohol or drugs and is scientifically proven to have powerful health benefits, so I’ll take more of that please.
This weekend has deliciously been all about following this bliss, letting it quietly guide my actions with authentic presence. Turning off my domesticated (see blog post on Domestication) taught brain to welcome the unadulterated state of joy which dances inexhaustibly to co-create anything, to stroll freely in dreams, curiosity, wonder and “what if”.
Last night I indulged in a sunset river walk. Absorbing the smells of late summer, admiring the suns red goodbye and marveling at the subtle play between water and land. People on bicycles sped by, fishermen cast their flies upon the rivers sway and walkers busily chatted amongst themselves. I travelled in their midst, floating in my bubble of BEing (state of BEing), merrily observing it all.
In this state my muse vibrantly awakens. Like a rollicking cherub it blissfully gurgles with thoughts, dreams, poems, songs, passion, love and contented peace. Like the river that flowed beside me, my muse meandered into the vast land of wonder and delight.
I often wonder, what would the world be like if everyone gifted themselves with just ten minutes or more per day of BEing. Gracing themselves with the unlimited potential that quietly resides between their inhale/exhale, pulsing with their heart and soul (an invitation to BE).
While preparing to slumber, I invited my muse to finish its writing. Concluding the flow of words that bubbled forth during my evening stroll…
Let me flow upon your ripple of time…
Let me catch my breath in your whisper…
Let me feel the depth of infinity in your feathered caress and raging passion…
Let me rest my head upon the textured warmth of your rhythmic heart…
Let me weep into the recesses of yesterday, the songs of tomorrow and the cracks in your skin…
Let me dance upon the soft sparkle of your dreams, engraving them upon the tapestry of life…
Let me release into the storm of your desires, abandoning myself into the rapture of oneness…
Let me run wild and free in the stirrups of your steed, thundering into the abyss of intertwined eternity…
Let me remember all the times our souls collided, birthing another star in the galactic Milky Way…
I conclude with an invitation – Today I invite to you reacquaint yourself with your inner state of BEing. The space where all your dreams live, your passions, desires, wonders, joy, peace, love, grace… Like the blooming of a flower it awaits your invocation.
Settle down, stay put, be consistent, remain in the same job, climb the ladder of achievement, acquire property and things… Ugh!! I have sincerely tried, truly I have. Yet, to do so seems to kill a part of me, to shut off my passion, play and joyful exploration of life’s copiousness.
I recently sat down with myself to sincerely look at my life journey. Putting pen to page, I listed the different jobs I have engaged in since I branched out from babysitting at 16 years old – 38 jobs, yep, 38 different places with their own unique culture. I then reflected on my 28 year Bachelors degree expedition, hmmm… 4 universities, 3 states and over 245 credits in diverse fields of study – English, Business, Communications, Art, Linguistics, Teaching, Travel Tourismm, Health, Exercise Phys…. Then last but not least, I pondered my relationship quest, there too I have been blessed with great diversity.
Embarrassment and shame have clung to me like a shadow that shows up in the dark. Haunting my heart and soul with criticism for my inability to settle down, stay in the same job and pursue life with focused intention to acquire and succeed by the societal and cultural norms and expectations I have been raised in.
Try as I might over the course of my life, I seem unable to do this. I am driven to learn, to experience, to delight in exploring life through the lens of a new place, people, environment and way of living. Every job has had its own lingo, flow and community. Each field of study expands the horizons of interconnected knowledge. Diverse relationships – intimate, friendship, colleague, employer/employee enhance my understanding of the world at large, for every individual has their own story.
The recent sojourn to work on a polycultural farm on San Juan Island powerfully helped me to discover and decipher more clearly what I do and don’t want in my life. As I find myself back in Boise, Idaho, I chuckle at how I hesitate to share this change. Feeling again that old sensation of shame, guilt and failure. In the quietness, I am given the opportunity to really see and feel into why I experience such self-judgment. From a very young age I felt bad for being someone who enjoyed change, who liked to try new things, explore different places and ways of living, finding it exciting and challenging to adapt and gain a new perspective. How can we truly know anything unless we try and change the place from which we view and experience?
I’m a dreamer. A passionate pioneer who thrives in climbing the next hill to take in the new view. Inquisitive, curious, playful and open to what I can learn, experience, see, feel, touch and hear. I grow to accept this truth, giving myself passionate permission to “go for it”, celebrating my soulful wanderlust! Like a wild animal, I do not thrive in the pens of societal and cultural expectations. I fervidly love being a pilgrim in life’s grand adventure!
It has been a long time coming and is way overdue – I Accept and give Permission to my wild soul to dance and engage in life as I am called. I Celebrate the exquisite opportunity to be curious, play, explore and seize the moments I’m graced to breathe… I find myself very excited to see what comes next with no shameful apology! Carpe Diem!!
I conclude with some of my favorite quotes by Thoreau, for they have inspired and comforted me in those moments of judgment –
“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island of opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land; there is no other life but this.”
“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”
“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”
“All good things are wild and free.”
“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.”
It has been quite awhile since I put words to this page, I have genuinely missed this dance. In some ways I have chosen to stay away to personally investigate how I embody the title of this blog, “Walking Naked Truth,” for I always aspire to live raw, open, vulnerable and authentically present.
Life to me has always felt like an epic novel, rich with layered life experiences that weave together in a vibrant tapestry. Times of gentle flow, excitement, change, love, loss, etc… Each page expressing the ebb and flow of a single hominid traversing her sojourn here upon the planet.
The past couple of years I have focused intently on what “following my bliss” (a Joseph Campbell quote) feels like. Playing with different life paths in my heart, soul and mind. Meditating and feeling into how each avenue might play out. Ironically, I found myself returning to the dreams of my early twenties. Thirty years ago I drew a plan for a sustainable community. I purchased books about cob, straw-bale and rammed earth homes, solar power, small scale farming, herbs, on and on…. Now of course I joyously add tiny homes to the mix, along with earthships, polycultural farming, and…
As I joyously reacquainted myself with these heart desires I connected the dots to more recent places and experiences that I was clinging to, such as –
Falling in love with San Juan Island, Washington (2011).
Following the agricultural community on the island.
Wanting to get back to organic farming and living in harmony with the land.
No commuting – living and working in the same place.
Engaging my body daily in physical activity – leave “all day” desk sitting behind.
Eating even more clean and connected to my food/nourishment.
Expanding my support of local and sustainable practices.
“Walking my talk” with the believe that anything is possible, dreams can come true and pursuing and living one’s passion is the dynamic tango of an engaged vibrant life.
It was time for my next chapter! At 55 years young, I get to embark on the second half of my life. My amazing fledglings have flown the nest, beginning to explore their own “heart desires”, thus I clip the tired edges off my wing feathers to soar forth into new horizons with vim and vigor.
COVID – 19 encouraged my leap of faith, giving me the reflective time to dig deep and put into action the next steps. I wrote a letter to my favorite farm on San Juan Island inquiring if I could come, work, learn, and live upon the bountiful earth. I was willing to do whatever it took, live in a tent, minimal belongings, little income, etc… I had figured out my financial bare bones to live and stay current on bills, while I carved out my new life.
Miraculously I received a positive response, the window opened for me to jump into my new reality. I took Tony Robbins words to heart, “burn the boats”, I sprung into this new chapter of life with complete commitment, I gave notice to my employer, I packed all my personal belongings, loaded my little car, spent as much time as I could with my kids and waved goodbye to Boise, Idaho after 27 years.
I find myself presently enjoying the beauty of a stunning polycultural farm, where I walk to work, engage daily in physical activity that honors the land and creatures. A small character in an ecosystem much grander than the self. Each day is a gift, learning, growing and experiencing so much. I pinch myself to make sure it is all real, feeling the gratitude bubble over.
The novel of my life is a constant work in process. What a grand adventure it is, each page and chapter unfolding and laying a foundation for what comes next. I love flipping through the pages to recall memories, to sit in gratitude for the challenging times that taught me so much, to laugh at sweet moments, and… It is always bittersweet to close a chapter, however, the paradoxical bridge between the last page and new page is a tenuous one rich in a myriad of emotions.
Where are you in the life journey? As you turn the page, is it time for a new chapter, expansion and more time in the present chapter??
If you followed your bliss, where might you go, do, see, experience…?
Thank you so much for being a part of my life book – In heartfelt gratitude…