As I work on Book 2 of the “K.I.S.S. Happiness Is Easy.., Series (Keep It Sweetly Simple)”, I am enjoying the exploration and depth of ATTACHMENT!! Book 2 is titled “Stop APE – ing Around”. APE = Attachment, Perception, Expectation – three little words that hold a powerful life impacting punch!!
Attachment and Perception seem to be the silent ignored two of the three and yet they are definitely just as hugely impacting. All three have an immense stronghold on how we interact and more importantly REACT to the world around us. Effecting how we behave in our relationships and show up in our daily lives.
Let’s explore Attachment. The dictionary defines it as:
1. an extra part or extension that is or can be attached to something to perform a particular function.
2. the condition of being attached to something or someone, in particular.
Obviously for this blog entry, I am referring to definition number 2. Let’s throw out something right from the start, do you have a favorite athletic team (football, baseball, hockey, etc…)? Are you quite upset if they lose? Does it impact your mood if they win or lose? What about a particular kind of music you enjoy? Are you attached to what station the radio is on in the car? Let’s look at your attachments around the house – Do you like the lights bright or low? Does your house have to be clean before company comes over? Do you have to eat dinner around a certain time or your whole mood is impacted? Where do you prefer to eat, table, in front of TV…? Where do you park your car? Do you get upset when you can’t park it in the usual spot? Oh I can go on and on….!!
Let’s look at the not so concrete Attachments. When you think about your body, do you have an attachment to how it “should” be? In your mind, is there an image of what you should “look like”? Image is a big deal in our society. How we “should” look varies from culture to culture and if we explore our attachments to how we wished we looked they are established around what we are told is “attractive” in our particular part of the world.
What about “success” – what attachments rule your world here? Are they attachments you CHOSE, or ones that you were told measure your success? Here again, does this vary due to where you are born and how you are culturally raised? Do you have an attachment to how money should be handled in your life? What happens for you when something in life totally turns your money situation upside down?
Our relationship to ATTACHMENTS effect our moods! We allow the interactions dictated by our attachments to inform our decision to be happy, mad, sad, lonely, frustrated, etc… Just sit back and really think about it. If I wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and what I see does not match what I am Attached to with regard to image, I may CHOOSE to feel unattractive, which means I will carry my physical body more slumped, keep eye contact to a minimum and in general carry myself about with low self-confidence. To add to this already Chosen negative feeling, I go to get my cup of coffee and my favorite cup is gone! I’m attached to that cup! Who used my cup? How dare they! Now I am irritated on top of being down on myself. Then I go to work and someone is parked in MY spot, the one I ALWAYS park in! To compound matters more, my boss has decided to move me into a new desk and is changing up my schedule. You get the idea… I have quiet unspoken Attachments to many things that I can Choose to have ruin my day or I can be Aware and thus make a CHOICE to let go of my Attachments and enjoy being happy.
The big message that always rings in my ear, is that we are at CHOICE! We can allow Attachments to dictate our mood, or we can choose to be independent of our attachments, for they are not WHO we are. They are things we elected to give power to, agreeing in silent contract that they held importance. It is not that Attachments are bad, it is how we live with our Attachments that effects our life and those around us. If we look at really big picture Attachments it can get quite scary – Crusades, Holocaust, Genocide, Cold War…. Attachments to ideals and beliefs that have globally impacted at massive proportions.
What power do you want Attachments to have in your life? What Attachments do you play along with, that you have never questioned? What Attachments do you hold so tightly that they impact the relationships with the people you love? Which Attachments are fun, playful, and aspects of your life you shall continue to enjoy?
As you go forth with today, I invite you to explore with awareness the role attachments play on your life and relationships. Have fun with it, for what is exciting is the truth that you are at complete CHOICE, if you want to be.
A.C.T. (always choose truth) today with open awareness and willingness to view the world through another person’s moccasins, for you may glean a new perspective on your Attachments and theirs.