Another week comes to an end, another month has passed by and soon it will be a New Year. I can remember as a young child hearing adults often say, “time flies by way to fast”. My young brain thought, “no it doesn’t, Christmas is still too far away and summer break will never be here!” Again the elders were wiser than I! Now I am one of those “elders’, when did that happen??
As I journaled this morning I found myself pondering the fine balance between going for it with determined action and the embracing of sweet surrender. It has been my experience that as you step with authentic truth towards your dreams, life has a way of putting things in your path that serve on that journey. Now, some of what is put in your path is not at all what you would expect, sometimes it can actually take you down a trail that makes no sense at first, but in reflection – oh my, the lessons, teachings, and reasons it unfolded can make you shake your head in wonder.
Metaphorically it feels like a tight rope walk to me. I can feel the tight cable under my little skin tight shoes, they hug the wires with desperation and excitement. Slowly I raise my head from my feet to look across to the other side, it seems so far away, and yet I know if I stay focused and just step, I will get there. I know I can! I know I must! I cannot turn back! That is even scarier to me. So, I take another deep breath, I pick up my foot, and slowly bring it in front of the other. The cable starts to react to my movement, my breath catches – I slow the movement down and release my last air, while placing my foot down. I stretch my arms out in a relaxed wing like fashion. I stop to breathe, relax and take in the view. Below me there is nothing but space, no bottom, just an infinite pit, as though there is no end or beginning. I’m alone. However I can feel the cradling and cheering of those who love me, at moments I feel them hold their breath too. They have no desire to join me on the walk, yet in loving me they know I must do it. I lift my foot for the next step…
There is this constant sensation within my being – it is one of absolute presence, frozen, no past, no future, just here, now! If I allow the past to enter, the cable starts to shake. If I look to the future, what barely holds me up quivers with my increased heart rate. It is about NOW, it is about complete presence. Here first upon this page, then next upon the pages which one by one manifest my first complete book (have many half finished books). As the day progresses I get to choose presence where ever I go. Presence is that fine dance between stepping towards the dream and surrendering into what unfolds. It is the tight rope walk.
Think about it, even in our “routines and rituals” of everyday there can be moments of sweet surrender where the unexpected happens. Let’s play with it a bit. I go to a meeting with a new potential client, we chat about what she is wanting, where she struggles, and whether or not I can be of service to her in this journey. We mutually decide it is a go, I will have my first session with her next Tuesday. After our first session she is so excited about our work that she signs up for my class and invites two other friends. By being completely present with this incredible woman, I surrendered my attachment to outcome and allowed it to flow.
Another example, I go to the store for a few basic needs, while there I run into an old friend. We chat a few minutes and before we part he invites me to a party he is having at his place next Saturday. I tell him I would love to come, put the details on my calendar and look forward to meeting new people. At the party I meet some really fun people, they are planning this big camping trip and wonder if I would like to join them… Again, my action step gave me the opportunity to be present, surrendering my attachments and expectations opened up space for more to be experienced.
Everyday is a tight rope walk, a gift that is directly impacted by how we choose to step. Yes, I must take action steps – however, if all I do is focus on the end result without surrendered presence there is much I may miss along the way. It is a sensitive process, for we can also get distracted, use the surprise “encounters” as our way to step off the cable, losing complete sight of what we dreamed of. It is a very tenuous fine balance – “focused going for it” and “sweet surrender”, between the two lies the quantum force of complete presence, it changes everything in every moment. Everyday for me is a grand experience on this wiggly tight rope, it is exciting and scary, invigorating and exhausting, peaceful and chaotic, the divine paradoxical dance which ignites life with powerful meaning and wonder. I welcome the unexpected with good intentions and focus.
May this weekend be full of paradoxical wonder for you, may you step with focused surrender into the grace of pure presence, open to all that may arise and be experienced. A.C.T. (always choose truth) with each thoughtful step, no matter how small or big. See you next Monday!!